Michele800226

What a beautiful sentiment. Just hoped I could smile my way past some of the idiots in the world. Hugs Michele

Hi there everyone Its not about being optimistic or pessimistic, it about the way my smile and looks are putting me in hot water at times. I've come to realize that some of my male friends are now also hitting on me, because I've got a perky happy face 90% of the time if not more. Now they are becoming like horny dogs after my ass too. Is this a culmination of my smile, facial expression, ass and boobs or just men being like a pack of horny dogs in heat season??? With the unknown factor, the unknown men... That will offer me gifts at an intersection I had to stop. Start talking to me and saying how much they love me, while just seeing me walking down the street and smiling at them. Should my smile or body freak me out, because I'm not opening myself up to all these horny bugger's. Or should I embrace the power it gives over men and women in the open field of life. I've decided that flirtation with a beautiful soul, okay sometimes a gorgeous hunk is all that I need to continue with my perfect smile.but therein lies the fault, not all hunks have beautiful souls. So do I smile and get all the beauty that comes with it, or do I think of all horny screwed up persons that bring along flustered situations??? Now let me say this, I won't give up smiling and letting my soul trickle through for everyone to see, buy I'm also not incapable of switching to my dragon face that bites off unwanted attention in a flash. Remember, be safe out there. Walk in pairs and tell a friend where you are gong if you are going alone. Oh and I should learn to practice what I preach. Hugs Michele

Try a creme before the time, it numbs the are you are going to laser, but I can't for the love of pizza I can never remember the name of ththat blooming creme

Hit here Veronica, Emma and Stephanie I know I have all the confidence in the world that I need, it only goes into shambles a few weeks in a year, therefore I got normal persons deviations in life and mood. It's definitely how you come back from the slump that makes you a fighter or a pessimist, and I'm to perky to be a pessimist. Hugs Michele

Hi all The question always comes up, never mind if you thought you've got control over ever part of your life, there is always something out of sink... I guess it's natures or life's way of saying that you have a lot to learn girl, just deal with it or parish in your self loathing pity party. The first one I would like to address is... Why did I have to be trans and not cis??? Well, I don't know the answer to that, but it's what my heart, head and well every single part of my body dictates for me. And if I have to look at it, probably because of the strength I've got on the inside. Because I wouldn't and couldn't have been so vocal about what I feel if I never experienced any struggles in my life. Yes it was easy for me to know who and what I am today and when I was a child, but that doesn't mean I had it easy either. My mom with her gang (the two siblings in the middle a brother and sister) that tormented and bullied to get what they want, and me ignoring them for the greater part of my life. Yes they definitely wanted a CIS sibling that was muscular and a manly man. Sis on them, but that is probably why I discontinued any sorts of relationships with them for the greater part of my life, and live by a total different set of rules. And the thing is, I went to a church service a few days ago. Probably because my wiccan ass needed to find spiritual enlightenment and to find an answer to why I hated myself so or the mood I was in at the time. Yes, I needed to find out why I was still kicking myself for something. I found the answer somehow unbeknown to me, and I learned that the most important part of me currently is running on hatred towards myself for allowing what I couldn't stopstop an attack where a car was used.. Yes your hardest criteria are for yourself and no one will take that spot you've been trying to make even if you know, the world dealt you cards and incidentsincidents to either build you stronger, or destroy you because you lost the will to continue the fight. The second part is... Will I ever trust anothers heart with myself??? Well as I am growing older, I'm not certain that love is for everyone and that I am destined to be a singleton. But yes, I am a romantic at heart and think that everyone has a heart out there that completes them. Yes, I know this to be true, but my trusting issues are holding me back to going out there to do just that. But that same thing that is known is also the thing in life that puts fear or a bad taste in your mouth. Then the fact that you are trans and should also find love in life, but let's get it clear that we would love to find that one person that doesn't matter if you are trans or cis and would love and respect you for the pure fact that their is that bond of love between you, that connection that keeps you wanting that person, because you are safe in that relationship. But will I allow this for me, I don't know and currently think that I won't just because of who I am and what I've been through. Third thing I want to address is... Why does your love of things and way you are dictate to people who you are? Is it subjective or objective??? Well I am a trans female and if we look at the way I walk, talk, act and move, you'll see a female moving about and then my love for eating, shooting, cars, firearms, swords, knives (let's just say weapons and get it over with), fighting styles and kicking some guys ass for messing with me. And yes, I know I can't win every fight, but I sure as hell have won all my fights psychologically even though my butt was kicked by that person. Well subjectively and objectively I still don't know if love is meant for me. Seeing that I said more then enough and left some questions partly answered, I'll say. Be safe in the knowledge that we are loved and need to know who we are and accept what life has in store for you. Hugs and kisses Michele

Hi there On a level of 1 to 10, I feel pain about 3 levels lower then someone else which was around 5 levels lower before HRT. Reason I know this is, I can tell you my migraines started but it doesn't effect me at all, and for the plain fact that I refused to go into a theater to have a biopsy in 2011 and insisted the doc go into my chest while I am sitting on the bed in the ward. He said it was irregular but should be capable of being done, and all I did was giggle once the med's worked out. So safest to know if you feel pain a lot for anything or if you have a high pain tolerance, then you know you can do it or not. I was exhausted and basically just arrived from a round trip of over 1000miles which we basically rested in the car for and didn't even get to sleep after the kids were dropped, till we were home. Enjoy the Easter Weekend. I'm on standby this weekend and next. Hugs and Kisses Michele

Hi all I know, it's all part of the transition. But does laser hair removal have to sting this much??? Okay, so I did it a few minutes ago. Stung a bit, but I've found better results if you don't shave beforehand. It's also not like I have hair popping out like daisies on my face and neck. It is still like a little blotch I've here and there. I last shaved on Friday, because of a round trip from Cape Town to Upington (over a1000miles) and back. Didn't think we wouldn't not sleep for a few hours at least and use a bathroom to freshen up. But instead, we had family time and shopping before getting back into the car (Chevrolet Spark 1.2L, 60kW or 80hp isn't all that much I agree, but the drive was comfortable enough). Got back and basically just stripped and washed before getting in bed and sleeping the time away. So I lasered my face around 15:00 doing my whole face with the home kit, seeing that there is no salon close to where I live. Torture myself you say, yes I did, and less the 5 minutes later I was done, at the salon if you show pain they st, so takes about 15 minutes at one. I didn't take the highest setting because, 3 weeks back it left my skin irritated and looking like I was assaulted by my man. Therefore I moved to the middle setting to not look like a battered wife. I was thinking that if it even leaves me with a light fluff it would be alright, and then I can have electrolysis done to work out that last few kinks of fluff, but if it removes like everything, I'll be elated. I know it is a small fortune to spend on the home equipment or to go to the salon. But this way, I can zap areas I would feel uncomfortable to open up for other people. Yes I'm shy to the max. What do you think of the amount of hair still left behind on my face? It should hopefully be gone by June or July, but this is a home kit, so might take longer. Let me know if you would do this to yourself or not. Be safe and look after yourselves ladies. Big hugs and smooches Michele

Wait, you Wiccan to Veronica??? I knew some of the other trans persons I know are, but mostly they are Christian or Atheist (none believers). Blessed be. Thanks for the encouragement. That's what's helping me in keeping the battle going. Love and hugs Michele

Hi all Well, yesterday I had an appointment with my GP. Got there for a routine checkup and mentioned that my right boob is tender too, checked for lumps can't feel anything, but she is now recommending because my boobs are so dense I should go to have them checked out with sonograms. But yeah they always start about 10 days before my cramps start and that just seems normal to me. After that she said, welcome to women problems, boobs feeling sore that time of the month and all the bloatedness that follows. Also need to speak to my mom, but I don't have the energy for that as yet, we might be sitting in a battlefield because of my questions. Want to find out which hospital she sent me to when I was a week or so old, and retrieve that medical information from there. Blood works are all in order and I am happy that my results are good, and won't want to change to much, just to go off the blockers. As it all started me gaining to much fat around my gut after the blockers. Well, physically I'm in good shape, and not doing to much to put myself in harms way, medically. And yes, I need to find a new psychologist again. Will check how this works for me. Let me get a move on, as I need to get to the boot camp and work on my fitness. Well, this is what I'm doing so when it comes time for any surgery, to recover as quick as possible. I will have to look at it in a holistic way. Fitness for recovery and not to become depressed as fast or have so many fallbacks. This is basically all I had on my mind, and would like to encourage everyone to go to their medical assistants, no matter if it's a GP, Endocrinologist, Psychologist, or any other specialist you need to see. Check you all later, and don't be missing me too much. Might have started the war or talking to my mom. Yeah, will then have to enquire from the hospital what they can give me, and if they refuse to send it to me, I'll have my GP request the information. Love and protection Michele

Hi Veronica It's an honor to be compared to remarkable people, and your daughter sounds like a strong remarkable lady. That is probably the reason why I will always fight for wat I believe and need in my life. Being a role model is luckily not a singular persons job, and in my life is so many role models that I even look up to them or guidance when I'm stumbling and need direction. Be safe and watch the world. Love Michele

Hi Emma Thank you for the compliments. For me I look like the girl next door, not that pretty girl on the hill that every man want. I'm grateful that my North Star is in my core, but when my North Star plays hide and seek I'm in tears and also appreciate that I can have that time to release all the negative energy I picked up along the way. Yes, I kick myself when I'm emotionally weakened by what life throws at me, and luckily it doesn't happen to often. Much love Michele

That looks painful. Recover super fast. Hugs Michele

Hi all. Not that many days have past since I gave my last update. Being doing the fitness boot camp as I said, and on Thursday got certificates for attendance. Wasn't weird that completed it, but then I got the best improved on burpees, lol that was hilarious. Sat there and thought it was over and here I get called up for another thing. Well, I had on this confused face and all. Got up and went in because I somehow without knowing it became a couch as well. And my surprise is, there were people that have been part of the fitness group for months longer then myself and they still just there. I know the dumbstruck look doesnt become me, and I should've reacted with a smile, so I went in for a pose to stay, biatches I did it. What astounds me is the fact it all happened so fast and now my arms are more toned. By biceps aren't making bulges when relaxed, but I got this girly amount of upper arms. My abs are also feeling tighter, but not as tight as it was before. My legs are the same and lucky for me, not sticks. Emotionally I'm definitely doing better, seeing that all the dates I despise are gone now. Still miss my rock (dad) to bits and pieces. Still avoiding the scolding eyes and voice of my mom, who decided she needs to try and call me to wish me. Madam you know better then that. I could also see that my oldest sister felt like crap for not being invited to my younger sister's 40th birthday party. Do I care that I wasn't invited, not the least. Seeing that she is part of the entourage that doesn't want me to transition at all and that include the other Ice Queen (mother) and her followers my sister and brother in the center. My brother is trying to accept it, but only because his wife and in laws are giving him crap about it. And probably when he tells me danger, I'm the first to appear at his doorstep. Or it might be my personality. Then my mom is the youngest from her siblings, and constantly get chowed by her sisters, seeing that her gay brother is gone and they somehow had to learn understanding as children, but is it because I'm defiant, well I don't care that much as I cut myself off when she couldn't handle comforting me when she sneaked in and perused my diary to find out I tried to fight off an attacker (well there is always someone stronger then you) that raped and tried to kill me on my 16th birthday. Yes, 20 years back and the only thing she could think of was to ground me. As if I listened and continued on my merry way. (Pity definitely not wanted, it was 20 years ago and I can't think of how I'd be if that never happened. Yes funny how and ordeal can change a persons perspective on life, or just enhance it that you feel even more obligated to believe in your beliefs, and stand for what you always stood. I regret not starting earlier, because my doctors weren't as helpful as they could be, even though my ex GP confessed that he knew ever since I came there for my first checkup as a teenager. But he didn't feel it was his place, because my mother is so conservative and seeing that she is his patient, which almost stung. But hey I could see her supporter group growing, and mine dwindling until I stepped out and said F(bleeeeeeeeeeeeep)ck my world and the pricks living in it, because I'm part of the trans movement. I'm a strong woman as my dad would see me. Now, my strength can't be taken away from me, because I'm the ruler of my domain. I need to run and cut this short, seeing that I have a meeting. Yes, it's with a guy, and no!!! It's not a romantic date. Cheer for now. Michele PS. Some pics of me dying my hair, 2 with lip gloss and without. Enjoy

Hi Briannah and Veronicabeta He is making it easy to love him and I have a commonality with him, my mom's maiden surname. It's a challenge to say the least, but the best part is that he is still a pure child in attitude and come from a small farm setting. Calling to say he misses me and that I shouldn't take days for myself. Lucky for me I can tap into a playful self so that he releases energy when needed. I'm even struck when needed, and luckily he doesn't do the thing of your not my mom so don't tell me. And we have communal interest. Thanks for the encouragement. Love Michele

Hi all, haven't been around for a while and yes. I still hope that everyone is doing well. One of the most recent things that happened was a dreadful birthday, where I was feeling depressed and violated to the extend that I stayed indoors as I got home the day before and didn't leave my bed except for bathroom breaks and eating obviously, (from the Thursday evening till the Monday around noon. Didn't even answer any calls, just played games on my tablet and basically slept the whole time. I started lasering my face again, and it looked like I was brutally assaulted by someone. Bruises and swelling from my face to neck. Not even icing my face worked for the first few hours to stop the burning sensation. I can't remember that it was this painful before, but I'm writing this down to HRT and fat distribution. I should emphasize that I'm not dating, married or anything in that field with this next piece of information being shared. Drums please!!! I've become an instant parent to a teenager, 14 years old to be precise. This is like throwing me into the deep end at the pool without my floating vest and teaching me to swim. The last few months was difficult in a sense, but we will see if all our help worked out for his first exam. Yes a him, and what the hell do I know about boys, other then how to kick their asses in a fight and make their happy stick rise, bleed (part of ass kicking) and throw up. This has been an experience and I'm glad we are three in this endeavor, because the fourth person, the dad is almost never there and we found a t-shirt for him, "I'm on my but now where to be found". Yes he says he is around the corner and we already know he'll pitch when he finally pitches. Oh, my 11th anniversary started in January and I'm truly furniture in my rank, but luckily I've been around to know more then one field, and wished the exams thing was still in practic, because I'd be way further then what I am now. I also joined a fitness boot camp. May I laugh already, lost weight but only gained muscle and no inches off my middle, but enjoying it and I'm the naughty girl in the group, okay one of the naughty ladies. Breast development has stopped on an A cup, a 32A. The endocrinologist I'm using is new to HRT and lucky for me she is willing to learn, unlucky part is I get homework to do. Lastly, I've been super emotional for about three weeks and unfortunitely for the guy that got me crying, flew out the office, without witnesses but only persons seeing him land on his ass outside. Everyone was shocked as they saw me running out with tears streaming down my face. Now you are all caught up in my life. So my next blog will be about something relevant other then my emotional breakdowns. Enjoy the day and make sure to look after yourselves. I'm not there to punch that guy for you girls. Hugs and kisses Michele

Thank everyone. I am keeping my spirits high, learning the administrative side of my work and enjoying it. I never listen to male stigma or egotism driven people. Point me to the fight and I'm there. My not so new post is teaching my short comings in the form of physical strength, but this week I rained wet and threw tyres around out of frustration of different commands and inadvertently moving them into a space I wanted them. Only one man came to help, but otherwise the girls are doing it for themselves. Should rather say it was a good workout. Your positive responses are inspiring to say the least. Don't worry, in two weeks my 11th year in the police has come. Nice one that, not green at all. Lots of love, best wishes for Christmas and new years if I'm not online. Hugs and smooches Michele

Thanks Stephanie. I know what I should and can do, but it's just sometimes that the execution is making me rethink on how I should do it. But then I realize that I am the perfect person, to do what it takes to get the ball rolling. I thank thee for the motivation and that I know I have a space and time to return to get what I need as a booster. Michele

Hi there Blair It can be overwhelming at times, but hey it's all about puberty and you are luckier then most to go through it only once. Congratulations on your coming out at school, because I was always told I'm crazy when I tried to do that at school. Stay motivated and grow stronger with the knowledge that you are perfectly you. Hugs Michele H

I never thought of it like this... Okay, we all probably never thought of it, okay make that the persons who never gave the world a chance to influence and change your gender. I've always been trapped in a body with a body part belonging to someone else. And even as a child I would ask everyone, "WHERE DO YOU SEE A BOY, BECAUSE IF YOU TALKING TO ME, I'M NOT LISTENING AS I AM NOT A BOY!!!" So did I give my parents the chance to grieve the loss of a son they never had, or is my mother just trying to be a royal pain in my ass. Okay, my dad never used the right pronounce, and he treated me as softly as he could. But I never wanted to be a soft girly girl. I needed to know how to kick the boys into submission and how to shoot at a target with a proficiency that most grown up would cry over getting. And how to handle a car and still look like a model on a catwalk. Yes I am, and I obviously want to stay my daddy's little girl. And somehow I was treated like all the other girls in the area, because I know he knew that he wouldn't ever get a boy in life from me, unless I come home with a guy. So I came to the conclusion that my mother will never let go of the gender assigned to my birth certificate which I will and can't ever respond, because that will and can't ever be me. I'm looking down at my lilac nails as I type this and think. Okay, so she (my mother) is trying to cultivate another interaction like that of my brother with her. But it will never happen, I would become her last born and the girl she can run to if she could accept me for who I am, but till this happens, I am not going to give me anymore heartaches at trying to convince her that this is for me to be at my best. Hormones is another sore issue with us, as she would like me to stop, and the only time that I actually hear that she sort of cares for me is when I told her that without it I will probably kill myself and not think twice about it, because I can't live as the person that she wants me to be. Okay, this statement will make most people jump at their phone books to call and tell me it's not the end of the world. Well, let's see how long did it take you to realize that you need to do the changes. How many suicides are there in the world because of persons not allowed to transition. I wouldn't kill myself, but I might do something that will still result in me dying (running into a gang fight with no bullet proof vest and get shot, but making certain that I took out as many of them before they could shoot me, and if they can't shoot, I would probably shoot myself through the crotch). Okay, that is one of the thoughts I have in my head. But seeing that I know I am the last line of defense for my oldest sister, and I don't want her to be injured or anyone to attack her. I wouldn't want to leave her behind as I wouldn't be there for her. I have also learned that for every argument I have that I can die, I have an argument to stay alive, because if I don't do the fight that others are afraid of to do, who will do it and how will the nation I live in ever decide to change the way they treat us as human beings. Yes, I am not going to do anything to me, because I need to keep on with a fight in the world. First South Africa and later, move into other nations because, equality is the way forward, not the way people want to change everyone. Cheers, stay safe and love life. Michele H

I know the title will sound like I'm rethinking something, and seeing that this is a Transgender blog, I might be thinking that I am doing the wrong thing. But no, don't be hassling me to change for you please. I am perfectly Michele as I am, just need a few minor modifications, make that minor modifications in the form of surgeries. I'm currently the fleet manager as I said in a previous blog. This 8-4 thing is killing me as I'm use to the 6-6 thing and after 2 days and 2 nights I would normally be off and have 4 days to myself. Now this Monday to Friday thing is kind of a drag and also exiting, because I am the member in charge and the flack all comes my direction. What I'll never miss about working shifts is the targets they have... Yes, the station is now target orientated only in arrest and not in the form of how good you deal with the community and the relationships that you build up to them. Just how many police initiated arrest you performed. So it was always this way on shifts, you start work and you go home not worrying about tomorrow, but now you have worries more about performance, and you know what... One day you may have 20 arrest and the next none. It's the role of the dice with police initiated arrested. So I'm sleeping more and my body is actually building a cycle of sleep and when I should wake up, and I never had this for the last 10 years almost 11 if you looking at it that way. I didn't have a cycle. I've ditched my uniform that will just be hanging in my cupboard till I work operations with others. NOOOOOOOOOO,it doesn't mean I ditched my firearm because I am wearing civilian wear, I'm still driving marked vehicles and I'm not going to put myself in crap when someone starts shooting at my vehicle, I want a fighting chance of survival. Now, you know what. I've almost always been called Miss or Mrs with longer hair. My hair isn't that long for me and I love that my face and body is giving my personality and image a pure view of me as a female. I've been told that a girl shouldn't wear a firearm, and that it is a mans toy or weapon, which just make me look like a butch lesbian. Again a butch lesbian, I am told. Well the one that told me that my weapon can be taken from me fast, looked at me and said. I change my opinion, you are fast to draw and cock the weapon one handed. He thought that I would be to soft and scream at everything, before running away. Okay I'm trying to catch you up on what happened in the last month with just small burst of thoughts being thrown at you to give some insight in my life. I was also told to not reveal that much to the world,because it would leave me vulnerable to attack. But my views on being attacked with something that everyone else knows, is nothing. Because it's not a secret and what has been reveal and not been concealed to hide from the world. Will and can never hurt me. Enough of me rambling on and you not getting a fix on where I am, so cheers for now. Be safe and take care of yourself. Love and protection from Michele H Ps... Question, how do you view this??? My friend's birthday was the other day and her father passed away on the same day??? Well she is looking at it in a positive light, which I didn't see till she pointed it out to me. It might be sad to lose your father or someone close to you on your birthday, but form now on, she will be rejoicing in the life her father lived for the rest of her life on her birthday and that of her father's birthday. I know on my father's anniversary of the day he passed away, I always start crying as I miss him. I have never looked at death of a loved one as a happy occurrence.

Lucky I've been like a teenager my whole life when it comes to being a girl, can't wait to see what grown up lady brings me. Grey hair I call golden streaks. Enjoy the new look Karen.

Congrats Christie. All the best with the remainder also struggling this side with all documents needed. Love Michele

Okay, on day one I was exhausted and still went to the gym. This week I managed to go to the gym 3 days with my friend. One I couldn't go because I had to attend to a work function. What I noticed on Wednesday was. Meeting day is a crappy day to be at the station. I should thank the heavens that I wasn't put in charge of typing the minutes as well. I hate doing minutes. I had to sit in some meeting that was super boring. And another where I call it a crap out parade. Shame this one Captain just seems to not be in the good books at all. On a brighter note. My Colonel is back, after having a triple bypass and I would have told him to stay at home seeing that the wounds have not as yet all healed, and he developed some infections. But how can you tell a workaholic to stay away from work, if that is one of the things that is making him sick and depressed. So when he says I must drive him somewhere, I just get a vehicle and drive him. I think he is more open about things with me as I am open about myself with him. After he was informed that I dated, he initially jumped to a time I dated someone around the corner from his house, whom was also in the police at that time and abusive. I should be glad that I didn't tell him that ex is in jail now, or he would've blown a gasket. In that breakup I need the protection of my Colonel to make certain that that guy stay away from me. He showed how protective he can be over me and then his friend the commander of that person also had to intervene, because I didn't realize I was dating a psycho, until he became abusive to the extent of punching me a few times and going for a firearm to quiet me up, because no amount of hitting me can make me go quiet. Actually I defended myself, but couldn't get to my phone for help to arrive. I should say, fortunately for me, I had my firearm on me that day, or things would've been different. What I mean by that, I would've been shot, if I didn't have my unique place of pointing a firearm to make any CIS or Transgender Male drop their weapons in fear of losing their little guy. I walked out and as I drove off that day I called to say, don't bother calling me or trying to see me, no person threatens my life or hits me to return into my life without being an arrested suspect. Long story short, I need to run. Just got an urgent call. Will continue on this later.

Last night I was informed that the one I'm dating is going away for a month or more. I'm not the dependent type of person, but it's giving me the sensation of sadness and that my boo is way too far to touch. And me vocalizing this feeling made him stress about it too. What I know for certain is, his family decided on him to go help out at family and the ones that decided aren't aware of our relationship or at least not aware of how I look. Make that his whole mom's side of the family, as I've been exposed to his dad's side and the battle of me winning them over or proving that we are a good couple was won on first impressions, one side down, another to go. What's bothering me is he'll be away and about seven to eight hours worth of drive if not more. I first need to find out if they are talking about 120km/h (75mph) or at a greater speed then the legal speed limit. Which is almost giving me a sense of anxiety. But we grew closer in the last few months of knowing each other and we will just have to see what this family obligation will hold in store for us. Why are relationships so complicated??? I also know the saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder.". But the more we had this discussion the more reluctant he is seeming to go help his family, which I don't want. Maybe he is fearing me dumping him for being so far away. The thing I'm worried about, it will be his first birthday together with me and will he truly be back by then. No I didn't change my leave planning for him as yet, as we still have to gel more according to me, and then we can start planning our life together. And family does come first especially if they are the supportive kind, and he is supper attached to his family. Where I am the one only attached to some of my family, especially my oldest sister (even though we have an age gap of 16 years, she was the first to know I never identified as male, but we've been open about most of our feelingsfeelings as we have been open since before I was four years when we discussed me not being a boy), and then my sister in law and her oldest daughter I call my child. I'm actually closer to my brother's in laws then my own family, weird. So getting back to my feelings. I would love to have him to myself, but I know I'm sharing him with his family and he doesn't give any two or even how million F#@ks about anybody disapproving of our relationship. Still I'm getting a sense his mom was the deciding factor in this matter, because we never met and we don't have a relationship as yet. Well I worry about the whole thing, or if anything is about to happen, as all relationships need a time apart to see if it will work. Now that is my 2cents worth of thoughts on this. Live life, love yourself, and be who you've always been. I'm out Michele

Now show the work will be done and I'm the obvious choice for the permanent post.