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Dawn13

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  1. Dawn13
    Companionship a issue - the need to share one's life ... Thanks Monica for asking me to respond - As it is late I will sleep on this and definitely share my thoughts with you tomorrow. I think you are a wonderful person deserving of love and compassion. The other things you mention; the you of you, these are factors of relationships but are not the drivers. See you tomorrow. Best to you - Dawn
  2. Dawn13
    One of my new bras now that I have something to cover and support.
  3. Dawn13

    Today my wife helped me purchase two bras.  She has told me she really has noticed my expanding breasts and that I really need a bra now. My breasts are now almost a C cup and I am needing support.  What a change from three years ago when I was barely an A.  Something about hormone changes as I have aged and that I have taken a few hormone products to actually reverse this, and just the opposite has occurred.  I am actually happy that I have girls on my chest now.  Something else has been occurring even though I have been trying to workout a lot, my muscles are now softer and smaller than they used to be.  Lately I have been asking for help from even girls to lift things, as I am now feel weaker; defiantly age and my overall genetics are playing their part in this. I was always told I had beautiful legs, now the muscle appears to be less; they really look like girls legs.  Just yesterday a gate guard called me mam. "Have a good day Mam."  My long hair, thin body and earrings I am sure contributed to this; I just said "thank you" and enjoyed the mixed gender characterization of my body. Dawn

    1. Dawn13

      Dawn13

      My wife just helped me try on some bras that she was considering giving away.  My breasts fitted in them. I can wear them now.  As I have gotten larger breasts she is actually getting smaller ones.  Whow!  Dawn

    2. Dawn13

      Dawn13

      I was taking a testosterone booster as my T was very low. My wife wanted me to stay overall masculine in appearance.  However, it appears that my body is now converting most of the supplement into estrogen and my E level is now quite high.  The medication disclaimer does say it can work in reverse for some people.

  4. Dawn13
    Monica did you see this post?
  5. Dawn13

    Small and Treasured

    Dawn13 commented on Emma's blog entry in Emma Sweet's Blog

    Hello Emma - Thanks - You too are a delightful person. I keep wanting to meet everyone as we are all in this life journey together. (Not practical but we do have a lot to share) Emma - You are treasured, yes, and of course loved. Dawn
  6. Dawn13

    Small and Treasured

    Dawn13 commented on Emma's blog entry in Emma Sweet's Blog

    Another delightful thread. About Halloween and costumes, I have had the opportunity to wear several costumes lately, Green Lantern, Superman (Pink for Cancer Version), an elf and Avatar and of course as a woman(But not lately). In the last three years, I have been able to go to almost a dozen parties and face paint the kids. (I usually wear a costume/s) Besides doing the kids I usually face paint myself and paint additional examples of my work on my own arm. Rainbows, butterfly's, stars, animals and super heroes. I love to do this. It is my feminine arty nature coming out. I have now been requested at various fairs and I ask for donations. I give the money to children's programs. I too am in my 60's - still enjoying life, stretching myself and taking risks. About the first thoughts - To me being Transgender doesn't have to mean being female rather it means being closer to the attributes that are labeled as female. I now feel that my condition, who I am, is not a learned thing but rather in-bedded in my DNA. I have always been an explorer; this is my nature. Also, I visualize colors, experience touch sensations and sense sounds in a way that I believe is a female frame of mind. I remember when I found myself putting on my first feminine outfit at about six or seven years. It was a yellow sun suit with green flower embroidery on it. This along with my longer hair made me look like a girl. That was an image etched in my mind. I wore the sun suit and I wanted to show the world it was me inside it, wearing it. It was the little person, girl, me, and it was there before I ever put the item of clothing on. So the article of clothing/adornment brought out my nature and it was what is considered feminine. As I grew up took me forever to mature - most of my life my maleness consisted of being a Pixie or a Peter Pan. I also often masked some of my feelings about wanting a female body by being a clown. The clown gets to wear almost anything and can make people laugh. As a male I did not laugh. The closest I ever felt to being a male was in my Indian heritage. Wearing minimal clothing and being highly adorned. As a kid, I always felt more at home in my own skin when I was wearing feminine styled clothing. Going against the norm (Accepted by most) I am more female than most males. I have been hit on a lot - most want me because of some homosexual attraction. I am not homo. I too hate most of the base male characteristics. Dirty, unkempt, Cursing, corralling. So I am closer to female, but not female, transgender. Have a great day! Dawn
  7. Dawn13
    My recent gender bender. Went to my hair stylist a couple of weeks ago wearing all women's wear including a bra. (My stylist also does my pedicures and waxes my eyebrows) She told me my hair was now finally long and was longer than most of her women customers as women currently coming to her are now getting shorter cuts. About her she has always been a tall muscular woman. Much heaver than me. She commented that it looked like I had 'lost weight" and that she liked my turquois "earrings" I said I did not think so since I had seen her last. Then I started to think she could see my bra straps or that she knew I was transgender. After she draped me in pink we got into a discussion of fitness and she told me she had increased her weight lifting to as much as two hours a day. She asked me to feel her bicep and I did and it was both large and hard. I said you can "feel mine" and she did. 'Soft' was her comment. Then she said it was "OK" and that she was going to make me beautiful and she did. She gave me a very nice feminine haircut; matching my outfit. When I saw my image when she was done I actually felt I was passable as a woman leaving her salon. The attached photo was taken after the visit; me in a dress. Dawn
  8. Dawn13

    Wow What a Year!!

    Dawn13 commented on DawnLynn's blog entry in DawnLynn's Blog

    Hello Dawn - Looking at your first posts I have a similar experience - still not totally the same - but similar. My therapist also told me she has me categorized as transgender, I am one of two, that I know she councils. Because of this she had told me it is OK to wear women's clothing that is more gender neutral to what I feel. Also, I do wear a bra occasionally as I do have some natural breast. (Size B ) I would love to have a bra fit but Have not done this. As you also talk about, I know my transgender part is inside me not just a sin I cannot control but actually part of who I am. I will post more and look more at your blog when I have time. Dawn (13)
  9. Dawn13
    Hello Lexi - Great! Item! I like the going more feminine part without trying. Dawn
  10. Dawn13
    Reposted from "Being Transgender not a Mental Disorder" So difficult to sort out the feelings versus the male body I have underneath. Three days ago, I just was talking to one of my best girl friends when we were at a running expo - she was part of a staff selling running skirts when I stopped at her booth. "I told her it was so unfair." (That men - feminine looking men like me - are ostracized when openly wanting to wear a cute stylish shirt in a race or run). She showed me a new product that they finally have developed. A collet short for men made of the same fabric as the shirt/s and almost a skirt in form. I bought one of these with a matching unisex headband. She actually got the same matching skirt so at some point we hope to get a picture of us both together wearing our matching outfits. The real point is even though I go to counceling about my being transgender - there is definitely something inside of me that goes beyond my desire to be a straight male in thought and body. Over time I have actually become more feminine in looks to better accommodate my feelings; I now have very long hair, two earrings I wear all of the time, a weight closer to that of a women allowing me to wear junior's shorts and tops; some new breast tissue to the point I now can and actually need to wear my new sports bras. Still I go out primarily as a male as I did in a recent running race. I remember at the race a girl runner actually saying as she walked by in a hearable voice to another runner. Isn't that a woman (Looking at me). Other guy friend said - no its a man. I am now happier in my own skin. My therapist told me it is OK to wear unisex items and girls items, shorts/tops, that are kind of unisex. She did tell me that I should not wear a skirt because of what it appears to do to my mind. But again - this is really who I am, a girl, in my mind. Dawn
  11. Dawn13
    Three times today I had people open the door for me. Anyone having the same experiences lately? Dawn
  12. Dawn13
    What a fun day today - new Goodwill store opened and I looked for American Eagle shorts and jeans and a sport top - I found several that fit; size 10 and 8's. I was dressed in my male clothes with a ball hat on. My longer pony tail evident as well as my earring's. One of the shoppers said to me "Mam do you know which tags are the discounts." Concerned about my voice I hesitated then I told her "the red ones." I did not try to correct her to my gender as I was in the women's section trying on women items and actually blending in. Still I was concerned that my voice was telling - still was fun - not even going out-of-my-way to look feminine and still being coded as a woman.
  13. Dawn13

    Ears just pierced, wearing two small Zirconium ones - Hard to believe I waited 6 decades to get this done - What a feeling of freedom.

    1. Ronnie Virga

      Ronnie Virga

      Fabulous. Getting mine done soon too!

       

    2. Dawn13

      Dawn13

      Thank you - it was a good decision - now the whole world of earrings are now possible - cannot wait until I am healed and can wear larger more feminine ones - any ideas?  Maybe a drop style.  Was just at the stylist today and my hair is now way down my back and colored blond.  Now this with my earrings the change is no longer subtitle rather I now look much more like a woman, even in guys clothes. 

      Other changes - Even my muscles look more like a girls.  Just had a physical two days ago and apparently my T level is way down, way below normal.  My natural estrogen level also appears to be up likely above normal.  Wondered why I was feeling fatigued lately and appearing to lose some muscle.

      ear 2.jpg

      ear.jpg

  14. Dawn13
    A shop clerk told me she really like my necklace today. I was dressed in girls jeans and a nice sport top. Not sure if she was coding me as female - but was thinking this when she talked to me. I had just got back from a beauty salon and had my hair colored, long styled shoulder length haircut and had my brows waxed. Here are a couple of shots of my hair. Adding my latest here - was at Red Lobster two days ago and the store manager asked "Ladies how was our service." (Just me and my wife). My wife said it must be the glasses and hair as I was dressed in boy mode. Then just yesterday I was going through a security point and the guard first said "sir" as I went through and then corrected himself and said "sorry I meant to say mam."
  15. Dawn13
    My latest Florida Adventure - Just last week I was at a swim meet in FL and when I entered the pool area, with pack on my back and bag in hand one of the regular members of the pool said to me "Mam the women's changing area is around the corner." during the period of the swim meet I was referred to as mam several times and at one restaurant the door was opened for me as the owner said "welcome in Ladies" for me and my wife. Also when I was at the meet I was actually able to notice how much bigger my chest appeared compared to some of the women there. Definitely could see how I was getting mixed up. (And enjoying it) Below are photos showing my hair - as long as I have worn it since I was in my teens. Also. one of my jogging shots (Not wearing a single men's clothing item; but a very feminine running outfit). Dawn
  16. Dawn13

    10,000 views of my site have just occurred.  Wow what a marker.  If you get a chance tell me what you like about my postings?  I have learned a lot about myself in the last 5 years and have enjoyed all of the discussions with all of you who understand my inner feelings, and why I wish to feel feminine.

    DRun.jpg

    1. Ronnie Virga

      Ronnie Virga

      Hi Dawn.

      Your postings helped me find a "better" way to deal with what I'm dealing with. Like so many others that share on this site, it's nice to be able to say "Thanks" for helping me find my way. I will try and pay that forward.

      Hope you have a Blessed and Safe Holiday Season.

      Cheers,

      Veronica.

      PS - Fab Pics ! :) 

      Veron4.jpg

  17. Dawn13
    May latest trip to Florida resulted in several occasions of me being mistaken for a girl - on three occasions I heard either a sales clerk or a waitress call me mam. They almost always caught the mistake but the confusion was evident. The most interesting occurrence and scary was while I was in a tourist store looking at sun visors. I was wearing fairly short denim shorts, legs and arms were shaved and tan, and had my hair in a pony tail; other than that I was in fairly normal for me boy mode. I noticed a handsome guy who was looking at me and was kind of following me around the store. As I was trying to decide what visor was the best one, a pink, purple, white or blue one, he came over really close into my space and put his hand on my shoulder and started to assist me. I also noticed he appeared to have a ....-on. First I thought he worked for the store. He told me his choice for me would be the pink one. As the conservation went along he asked me for some money. No pretext - I could tell he had been drinking. At this point I became quite nervous and was worried me might try to rob me. Summoning some courage, I told him I knew he had been drinking, and that I would not give him any money. He then asked me if I could drive him home; he said I seemed like I would be a "really good girlfriend." I knew then that he was hitting on me hoping to take me home with him. He then proceeded to show me some large circular designer earrings that he thought would look good on me. I was flattered but I had become really nervous at this time and was concerned that I might need help to get away. He was fairly muscular and tall and I knew I was smaller and puny next to him so I was glad I was in a large store so I could get away from him. Still after I had put some distance between him and me I did feel a rush. Wow, he really thought I was a woman. Dawn I am attaching my latest photo - Running as a girl in Florida
  18. Dawn13
    Today I was driving to the board of elections for election training. I was in boy mode and had my hair in a pony tail. I was not trying to look female at all and never during the entire five minute conservation did I try to disguise my voice. When I went into a parking structure near the meeting location to park and I asked the attendant if he knew if this was the right place to park for the election training. He called me "mam" and said he was not aware of the class. He then asked was I trying go to the meeting place for the "league of women voters." he said he could direct me there. I could tell now that he thought I was a woman. He finally directed me to the right location after calling me "Mam" twice more and asked me again if I really was looking for a meeting with the league of woman voters. When he gave me the directions he was really patronizing to me, asking me twice did I understand the directions. (After I left I was thinking he thought I was a woman and in his mind did not expect me to be good with directions)
  19. Dawn13
    I believe my brows are not over done. Just well shaped. Maybe you can see them better in the three photos I recently took from a day when I went running in a local park.Thanks for your complements. Best to you both.
  20. Dawn13
    Thanks for the complement - just last night my wife commented on that I really do look like a woman these days, even without makeup. She said my small body coupled with longer curly blond hair and my arched brows really made it difficult for people to see me as a male. Actually she was a bit niffed at this as she thinks I rival her in looks.
  21. Dawn13
    Great story. Must have been some attraction going on when he started a conversation with a question. Even when I was in similar situations where I am fully dressed, and I knew I was very passable, I also get nervous and concerned about my voice giving me away. The neatest thing is when I am not dressed up female and still called mam - even my male sounding voice doesn't seem to make any difference, I am type cast as female.
  22. Dawn13

    Longer shoulder length hair - let it all out last night - called mam twice last night at a restaurant we were going to.  I guess I cannot dress male eneough as my hair and face lead people to think of me as female.

     

  23. Dawn13

    Just yesterday I was at a hotel getting ready for a swim meet the next day; arms and legs shaved, very tan, wearing sandels and very short denim shorts, wearing my now longer ponytail, and the desk clerk called me mam twice.  Was not trying to disquise my voice at all but did not seem to matter.  He even opened the door for and would have helped me with my bags if I had not told him I could do this without his help.  Boy this made me feel quite feminine.

  24. Dawn13

    A new name this weekend - Called "Babe" by one of the life guards as I was heading for the pool.  My hair was in a pony tail and I was in red biking outfit.

     

    1. Ronnie Virga

      Ronnie Virga

      AWESOME ! :)

       

  25. Dawn13
    I Have been following all the Jenner news. This has stirred some of my recent thinking. What is the core of why we have our feelings and want so much to change. I think there is a certain desire to see ourselves as beautiful. Women express this better than almost all men. When I put on a dress I feel changed. When I see most other men I see most of them as lazy/unkempt, fat/heavy and scuzzy. This is the excepted image of men. I do not fit this image and I know I am stared at a lot by other men, usually in restrooms, who do not expect a beautiful looking man. When I look beautiful (Handsome) day-to-day, I am often mistaken for a girl, even when in unisex or masculine clothing. I usually do not go out of my way but I am well groomed, very tan, fit and now have longer styled blond hair. I think some of why I wish I could change is rooted in the concept of beauty - and if men could also be beautiful in what is currently a woman's norm early in life - I think fewer would be unhappy with their body image and fewer would want to change. Here is another thought. I think is more acceptable to be changed completely into a woman than it is to dress and adorn ones self in a similar fashion. Yes, I would love to wear a colorful attractive dress and show off my small waist and still not try to hide that I have a somewhat feminine looking male body. However, I feel less anxiety when I go through the complete effort of hiding any maleness as I look completely like a woman. Also, I actually feel safer in woman mode as I do not see myself as a homosexual; not wishing for men to lust for me in this fashion.
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