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Trans But Still in the Closet


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closet.jpgChange is still slow... a lot slower than we prefer to believe.

I happened to be looking around another board this morning and was running down the General Transgender Discussion forum index page when I spotted a thread with the title, "Trans but still in the closet."

The thread was created in April 2018.  There were only eight replies to the thread to date.  However, that thread had been viewed nearly 16,000 times.

I can think of only a few reasons why the view count is so high:
    1.  Curiosity - why is the person [still] not out
    2.  General reading - individuals who just read every new thread/post
    3.  There are still a LOT of us, who, for whatever reasons, are still in the closet and went to that thread because they can relate

Only one other thread comes anywhere near having as many views at just over 1,800.  Obviously, 1,800 is not close, and this despite a thread title of "Need to talk."  Talk about what?  One would think that sheer curiosity would bump the view count way up there.

This same board has an "adult" forum, and even in that area of the board, of the 36 threads, only two have more than 1,000 views.  What's ironic is, despite the purpose of that particular forum, the two threads with the 1k+ views are NOT "adult-themed," but threads asking for [non-sexual] information.

I am inclined to believe that the reason the view count is so high on that thread falls under #3 above.  Bigotry, unacceptance, social stigma, fear, lack of access to appropriate/adequate medical care, anti-TGLBQ+ laws, lack of or absence of inclusive/acknowleging rights, etc., etc., etc.... still serves to keep so many of us in hiding.

We can all rally 'round and proclaim there have been great strides accomplished in the name of change - perhaps to make us feel better.  Fact is, those changes have come at the pace of a half-dead snail going uphill thru molasses in winter.  To exacerbate the issue, there are forces whittling away at what few advances have been gained over the last few years.  And let's not forget we have a vice-prez who is rabidly anti-TGLBQ.  God (or whoever) help us if 45 is impeached or otherwise vacates the Whitehouse and the VP becomes top dog.   You think dummy is hell-bent on a damn wall...  yer white-haired, beady-eyed VP is hell-bent on converting everyone to straight cisgender christians.

We STILL have a painfully LONG way to go.  And at this point, I seriously doubt I will see in my lifetime SIGNIFICANT positive, beneficial change that allows for all people all along the gender spectrum to move freely and safely throughout society, with all the rights as any other person.

-Michael

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Hey Michael,

First, sending you hugs and best wishes for a delightful Christmas and wonderful 2019. You’re mighty special in my book, my friend.

Yes, there’s still a long way to go and I’m also very fearful of Pence. And, we are experiencing DT’s unwinding of progress we have made in recent years. The thing that they don’t seem to comprehend is that the genie won’t be stuffed back into the bottle. Waylaid a bit to be sure but the taste of freedom is impossible to rinse out. 

Of course I’m speaking from a bubble around Seattle that is unlike so many areas in the US. I can go about my life confidently that my fears are, for the most part, my worst enemy. 

That said I’m really looking forward to ramping up my participation in the Human Rights Campaign next year. I plan to attend a meeting in Washington DC in March (at my expense), absorb and learn, and return to add my energy to raising awareness and funding for LGBTQ equality. We will overcome. I don’t know when, and, I suppose, the fight will continue long after we are dearly departed, but I’m thanking my lucky stars to be here at this moment in history. 

Best wishes,

Emma

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I see yours and Michael's concern, but I've never been "fearful" of anyone, but have been fearful of myself...no more!.😎, especially those that are indeed fearful, of disappointing their base, of not getting re-elected, and they are on both sides of the political spectrum.  We really don't need to be validated by politics,  but change will come when our children say "Mom, it's no big deal. get over it"  We effect change and need not await for others.❤️

Jessica

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It is what it is, and we are who we are. For me, also in the closet, for the most part, I get away with what I can without drawing too much attention to myself. But I've always done that anyway--I'm not exactly what you would call flamboyant. It's not the same. but I didn't think weed would become so open and accepted in my lifetime. Emma is right, though; the genie is out of the bottle. Progress does not go in a straight line--pun intended.

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On 12/24/2018 at 3:17 AM, MichelleLea said:

Progress does not go in a straight line...

Certainly agree with that. We see that gays and lesbians continue to be threatened even as the reality of their humanity is so obvious and valued. Similarly,  people of color experience raw prejudice, hate, and bigotry. Women are held back with mysogeny and unfair treatment. I’m sure we’ll experience the same.  But we’re gettin’ there! Keep the faith but don’t let down your guard. Be as active, visible, and vocal as you can. I certainly understand that my being out of the closet is a dream I never expected. 

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Dear Christy,

YES, I agree we must vote with our dollars!

Would like to see these businesses display the trans and rainbow flag decals by their doors! 😇 Thus far, only ONE business in my hometown of 15,500 display the rainbow decal, and NOT ONE the trans decal! 😥😢

So many businesses support the T/LGB Pride marches in June, yet they do not go beyond that, even displaying trans and homophobia in their business practices and treatment of customers.

Thinking of buying some decals, challenging businesses to cut the hypocrisy and put their money where their mouth is! 😁

Yours truly,

Monica

 

 

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Dear Christy,

Am being sarcastic here. Live in a very trans and homophobic city where it would be dangerous if I literally did what I suggested here.

Am sorry for the misunderstanding.

Yours,

Monica

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Hi Monica and Christy, I think you are both more on the same page than otherwise.

Sure, it’d make sense for companies and individuals who support LGBTQ groups to display their alignments with customers and employees. But, as Christy said, for whatever reason that may not be practical or desirable for the supporters. In fact I happen to know that the local HRC groups are not provided with names and contact info of local members for that very reason: they might worry about being out-ed. Christy’s correct that the organization is free to offer decals and so forth but it’s certainly okay for a supporter to decline. 

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