On Friday, as soon as my son leaves for school I can pack my car, make the 2.5 hr drive to my sisters, and then the next 2-3 hr drive down to my nieces.

If I can then I intend to be Dee when I get in the car, or if not then pretty much from the moment we arrive at my nieces I will unpack and change.

This was suggested ages ago when my niece first found out I was questioning my gender. She did not really understand it, but she very much wanted to show her support. We have always had a good relationship, so it was a nice gesture.  So I checked to see if she was genuinely serious and then agreed as it was a local Pride event and there would be plenty of events on guaranteeing a bit more anonymity and less pressure if I do not pass.

At the time I figured I had months to get used to the idea of going outside as Dee, and that I would be more confident and then life happened lol.  I have been outside once, in the woods, when they were deserted.

I ordered a wig off Amazon that has the trans flag colours starting at light blue and going down to pink, along with a couple of flag pin badges. I've bought a beautiful leather bracelet watch that I can wear instead of my cheapy sports watch and my utility handbag.

This afternoon I literally went through my entire femme wardrobe, which is tiny and apart from a few items consists entirely of the hand me downs from my sister. I literally pulled everything out and tried it on - my goal to lose weight obviously did not go to plan and so I wanted to see what I could and couldn't wear. Oh to not have a tummy! Some of the tees looked incredibly frumpy and were instantly discarded, a pair of slightly flared white jeans looked really good but were too tight to be practical and so I whittled it down to a red skirt and white top, or my dark jeans and butterfly tee or my dark jeans and black and blue asymmetrical top. Simply for a casual Friday night and for wandering around stalls in the village area on the Saturday.

I only have 2 dresses to choose between for Sat night though, a gorgeous little black velvet flared dress which may be a bit OTT for going pubbing and clubbing or a simpler but slightly more modest blue and black fit and flare dress which does not look as good in person as it looked online. If I decide against them we may have to go shopping for something cheap and cheerful to wear to go dancing in. 

I have a nice set of black heels that are modest, a pair of black boots and a pair of comfy trainers that will both go with the jeans and a light (bright pink) rain jacket I picked up in a charity shop in a last minute panic.

Apart from the fun wig I have my two favourite blonde wigs, a set of nails and eye lashes and all the makeup I own in a little case. Oh and I have an old PAYG phone that I have charged and checked so I can still take selfies and not worry that FB will be popping them up on my timeline for everyone I know to see.

Oh and because I have done two 5k's the last couple of weekends I have taken leggings and a ladies running top just in case I end up doing that with my sister on Saturday morning, because even if I do it will be as Dee.

I am taking far too much, I know this, but I cannot decide what I want to wear and it will also depend on what my niece intends to wear.

On the Saturday day she is wearing a rainbow wig, black leggings and a bright pink tutu - just because she can. She is on the larger side, and has some self confidence issues so our intention is to support each other and have a blast doing it.

I cannot see my bed at the moment because I now have to start the process of fitting it all into the suitcase so it is packed away and ready to go in the car.

I am a bundle of nerves but absolutely buzzing with nervous energy. 😳😳

I have deliberately let my chest hair grow back thick enough that I can use a depilatory cream on it tonight and so once I de-fuzz tomorrow I am good to go!

I have literally packed a case to go away every week for the last three weeks, but they were all full of man clothes and so much easier to to pack light for.

Anyone got any useful last minute advice?