Dear Dee,

There are also Blogs for SOs who support their spouses during their transition. Am sorry for the SOs who are stuck with their anger and bitterness, and spreading it around the Internet.

As for shaving, I wish my mother taught me how to shave! Unfortunately, I shaved for the first time before my prom - and I cut myself up to smithereens, using my father's razor! Attended prom with Band-Aids all over! Still seem to cut myself on occasion, even though razor technology has improved through the years!

Oh, what a girl has to go through to look beautiful . . .

Your friend,

Monica

Hi Dee,

Always nice to hear from you, and good for you on losing all that scruffiness! 
On telling your children I would never ask them if they’re okay with it. In some ways their opinions don’t matter. You are what you are.

 I told my two sons individually, which I think worked well. I told them how I had determined that I am trans, and what it means. When they asked what I was going to do (this was about one year before starting any transition) I was honest: I didn’t know. 
I told them that I planned to continue to explore, figure out and determine my authentic self. 
One of my sons was very interested. I forwarded articles and YouTube vids to him.

My other son didn’t care much at all.’

I suggest that you write out what you want to say before meeting with any of them.’ Maybe rehearse beforehand so you’ll remember it.

And then, go forward. My son told me that i was inspiring to have come to my determination and, later, as I transitioned.

I did not "barrage" my son with transgender "stuff".  I asked him if he knew anyone trans; I told him, briefly what I felt and  I have been hiding it since I was a little boy, I always tried to do what was best for him and his Mom; wipe his mind clean of what he's heard about transgender people I would teach him the truth about me; I told him I expected much backlash and asked him if he would be my advocate. I told him to ask me questions, not now, but as soon when he thought of them.   He asked me if that means I was gay?  I said no; then I explained gender identity vs. sexual preference.  I let a week slide without bringing it up but now talk to him continually and drop a few more things about me each time.  He mainly wants to know what to say to other people.  

This was my SCARIEST moment!  It turned out to be my most rewarding moment in my process!  My son was 23; age would come into play with what you should say.  Prepare before, and teach your children that you love them UNCONDITIONALLY and they will know how to love you UNCONDITIONALLY.  

Thank you all, I am sat in a simple tee and a pair of jeans, getting ready to go and visit my daughter at her mums with my son for a couple of days while they are off school. (I will change to the male equivalent in an hour or so)

It is not my children so much as how it will affect them that I worry about. I don't want hem to get eased or bullied and unfortunately just moving to a new town is enough for some kids let alone this used to be my dad but now he's my mum... Though as they become teenagers it will actually become a little easier as they will have a better understanding that gender is not as binary as primary school taught it to be.

Dear Friends,

Keeping it short and sweet is the way to go, along with keeping the lines of communication open.

Please say "sexual orientation," rather than the older term, "sexual preference," as Gays (as well as transgender) did not choose to be this way.

By the way, sexual orientation is in reference to a person's true gender, which is the one they identify with.

Be patient with yourself; it takes time to know your sexual orientation.

Yours truly,

Monica