Some of you know that I came to Arizona the end of 2016 to be with my Mum.  I really should have gotten an apartment when I got here... but that's another story.  Fast-forward to 2020.  Add the coronavirus.  Add the heat - this place is like HELL!!

.............::: deep breath :::   ::: shaking head :::

I really shouldn't complain much.  Probably shouldn't complain at all.  I'm retired, so I'm not one of the unlucky ones who's place of business or employment has closed and now I have no pay coming in.  So far, both of us have avoided that damn virus.  Maybe.  But that's another story, too.  However, I fear the stress of trying to keep COVID-19 out of this house and away from my Mother is gonna be what gets me!  Really.  

After it was announced that the world was officially in the grip of a pandemic, I figured on my next grocery run I'd get us a couple cannisters of antibacterial wipes, maybe a can or two of Lysol spray.  I never imagined that I would be able to get only one cannister of wipes (and NO spray).  And I was lucky at that 'cause when I got my final order update from Wally World, it said the wipes (and the spray) were out of stock.  Oh well... I wasn't worried.  I'd get the spray and more wipes next time.  Yeah.  Right.   But I didn't give up trying.  

One day, I went to take my Mum to the store.  When we got back in my truck, she pulled this wee, little bottle of hand sanitizer out of her purse.  She said in a frail but motherly voice, "here, wash your hands."  I held out my hand and she squeezed a few drops out.  She said, "this is all I have...I've been trying to make it last by adding a little alcohol to it."   I figured on my next grocery run I'd get a couple bottles of hand sanitizer.  I never imagined that I would be met with "out of stock."  Oh well... I wasn't too worried.  I'd get some next time.  Yeah.  Right.   But I didn't give up trying.

Then I went to get toilette paper. WTH???  I'm doin' the best I can with what wipes we have.  I can't find any hand sanitizer and Lysol spray, and now you tell me there's no toilette paper?  Meanwhile, it's sunk into my poor Mother's head that... there are no wipes anywhere.  She's resorted to cutting the wipes we do have, in half!  Oh well, this can't last.  I'll get some toilette paper.  Sooner or later.  Sooner.  Or later.  And maybe some bleach.

No antibacterial anything - wipes or spray.  No hand sanitizer.  I started plucking four, five and six of those wipes meant for wiping down your grocery cart when I'd go in a store.  I'd use one or two for the cart and ball the others up and keep in my hand so that I'd have a few to wipe the door handle of my truck off, and my steering wheel when I'd get back to the house.  ::: hangs head :::  COVID-19 has turned me into a thief!  And still no damn toilette paper.

One day, I had an idea.  I'd scuttle off to the store at night when few were out and about to get a couple items - avoid people and get the things I've been looking for.  I naively believed the store spent evenings (before closing) restocking shelves.  I dashed in, grabbed a few wipes, hurried to the aisle of paper products.  IT'S EMPTY.  BARE.  As in... NOTHING BUT DUST.  I'm down to three rolls.  WHERE'S THE PAPER?  In a cold sweat, I ran to check the aisles for hand sanitizer and antibacterial wipes.  Nothing.  Screw it...I'll just get some bleach.  Bleach kills eh-ver-ree-THING.  I had already bought a good spray bottle in the event I'd have to resort to bleach.  I turned around to go to the other end of the aisle where the bleach is.  Should be.  Was.   NOOOOOOOO!!!!    Now I'm mad.  What the hell's wrong with these people??  I went and got the milk and bread.  I spotted eggs on the way to the register.  By golly, I got a carton 'cause WallyWorld didn't have any!  At least if I get that virus, I won't go down hungry.  Maybe.   Paid my tab and left.

A week later, ran to the store one nite for my Mum...she wanted to make some bread that required buttermilk.  Ran in, snagged some wipes, and hauled it toward the dairy cases.  Found the buttermilk and cut across a few aisles towards the registers.   WHOA!!  There's some kinda paper down that aisle.  Two packages.  The ONLY thing on the shelf.  It looked like toilette paper.  Naw, couldn't be.  No one's got any toilette paper.  But, DAYUM, if that doesn't look like toilette paper.  I headed down the aisle hoping no one would come in the aisle from the other direction - I'd hate to go to jail over toilette paper!  As I got closer, I realized it WAS toilette paper.  I couldn't believe it.  For a fleeting second, I wondered if there was something wrong with these two lone packages...why were they here?  I grabbed 'em both and made a mad dash for the registers.  Finally.  Toilette paper.  I felt like I'd won something!

Made another grocery order.  Tried again to get hand sanitizer, antibacterial wipes, Lysol spray.  No luck.  Standing in the laundry room telling my Mother the store STILL has no wipes or other antibacterial cleaning supplies, no nothin'... the woman walks over to a cabinet and pulls down TWO CANS OF LYSOL SPRAY, and innocently asks me, "is this what you've been looking for?"  The blood drained from my head so fast I nearly passed out.   

"How long have you had those?"
"They've been up here a lonnnnnnnnnnng time."
"I've been trying to keep that virus outta this house, and griping about not being able to find Lysol and wipes and bleach and stuff, and you've had these all along?"
"I didn't know that's what you wanted."
....................:::::::::::::::::: silence ::::::::::::::::::
In a timid voice, she says, "I'm sorry, you should have told me."
"Have you not been listening to me?"
"Yes."
"I can't believe this."

Several days later, I had to run to the store but it was daytime.  As usual, I checked for antibacterial wipes, and spray and hand sanitizer.  For a moment, I wondered if I was even looking in the right place for the hand sanitizer, but I wasn't gonna go wandering around looking.  So I stopped a clerk and asked.  Just so happened, some had just arrived, and she ran and got me two bottles.  YES...  another score!  Who'da thunk something like hand sanitizer would make you so happy?  I got back to the house and gleefully told my Mum that I'd returned with hand sanitizer, and told her to be sure and put it in her purse.  She thanked me and said she would.

A few more days went by.  We'd run out of bread and milk.  I told my Mum I'd run to the grocery store that nite.  7:40 PM rolled around and headed for the store.  A lady was coming across the parking lot.  She asked me if I was just going in... told her I was.  She said, "hurry 'cause the store is about to close.  And they have eggs!!"  I thanked her, told her to have a good evening and to stay safe.  I ran in, got the milk and bread, and figured what the heck - I'll get eggs too.  Didn't bother to look for hand sanitizer or wipes or spray this trip.  Just headed for the registers.  But on the way, I spotted...  BLEACH.   Oh my god...there's some bleach!!  I grabbed a bottle and headed for the registers almost feeling like I had something I wasn't supposed to have.  Now I've got some bleach.  The heck with the wipes and spray.  Mr. Clorox and I will be good friends.   Well, it's not really Clorox brand...it's some off-the-wall brand I never heard of and probably would never have bought a year ago.  But we're gonna be good friends, none-the-less.  Hell yeah.

Twoooooooooo daysssssssssssss later....   I'm comin' thru the kitchen and happened to glance toward the sink.  There's a bottle of hand sanitizer.  It was NOT the hand sanitizer I just bought.  Where'd this bottle of hand sanitizer come from?  What else has my Mum got stashed in this house that we could be using to do battle against the virus??   

I didn't even ask her about it...