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Dream Achieved


ScottishDeeDee

1,530 views

I am struggling to wrap the text around the image so I just punted it below.

Here we have an obligatory bathroom selfie to prove that I know how to get dressed, even in a car by the side of the road, and a picture of me just about to enjoy the first ever Oatmilk Latte as DeeDee.

I look a state because I was in one, masks and glasses and moving from cold air into warm and wigs and trying to say words I have never spoken in my higher voice.... just...breathe!

The Barista put my name on the cup as "Eden" but while it was the wrong name it was the right gender.

Iyt may seem small or inconsequential but one of my long, long term dreams has been to go out and simply enjoy a cup of coffee asDeeDee. I have been daydreaming about it for literally years, and today I made it a reality!

 

It has taken me so long to get to the stage where I was not too embarrassed or self conscious to make small talk with the staff, I never imagined myself having to wear a mask, but I think I picked one that signalled my preferred gender pretty clearly. Today is the first time I have had multiple conversations with different people and they have either not "clocked" me or not cared enough to give me a second look.

That my counsellor was just so complimentary about everything from my hair and face to my taste in clothes and the way I walk and carry myself (and she complimented my voice!) just helped to give me such a big boost. I literally "EEEEK'ed" in the car afterwards. ❤️ 

She was also very content to add a letter and send it back to the Gender team stating that I have clearly had long term dysphoria and would benefit moving forwards to HRT, how that works in Covidworld she does not know, but it is exciting!

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That is just so beautiful; I do know how that feels!!!  You look awesome, too. I can almost feel you from the inside! From here I expect you will become more and more comfortable as you should be and the difficulty in presenting as him will become more burdensome. The happiness I experienced early on in authenticity was so much greater and peaceful than anything I felt before, it quickly became impossible for me to be anyone else but Jessica.❣️

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Thank you so much Jessica. :) I'm not even sure if I tasted the coffee I was just so pleased at being brave enough to stand in a queue and order it!

3 hours ago, Jessicatoyou said:

From here I expect you will become more and more comfortable as you should be and the difficulty in presenting as him will become more burdensome.

Considering I hadn't been out since the beginning of the year it was such a total breath of fresh air, I am already trying to work out the logistics to tell my friends and be able to be myself around them more as well as figuring out how to start the process of speaking with HR at work, I was originally going to wait until I had started my HRT for both of these, but yes, I'm definitely feeling that pull!

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