I can't say I agree with body scanners or TSA pat downs, I've only been through one. What I can say is this, yes they talk about you, at that moment and maybe for that shift, possibly even after they get home. Then they forget about you and go about the next day's work.
How do I know this? Simple. I used to work in the E.R. where we would see dozens of different people a shift. Some were very unique and we'd talk about them to others. Sometimes to poke fun, other times to learn about what makes them tick, so to speak. One particular pt. was a very large transgender lady. I had the oppertunity to take care of her on a couple of occasions and was given information about her as a person. She was frequent to our Hospital and was always treated with respect.
How does this relate to the TSA? They see so many people a day, you have to be so unique before they'll remember you. Otherwise, it's only last for a day or two then you are replaced by someone else. It really is that simple. Do some take it to extremes, yes they do and they should be re-educated on how to be professional and to treat people with dignity, but remember they work for the federal government, enough said.
So don't let flying and the TSA scare you, they like that it gives them power. When I was scanned I was wearing a sports bra and my nipple rings, I got an additional pat down, then sent on my way, no big deal. Another tip, do not make eye contact, if you do, look serious, it works for me