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It has been suggested that I start a blog, to hopefully help others that are going through what I have already, and what is a continuing journey, and for support for me, and my relationship. So here goes! I have been married, for the second time, over 16 years. About 10 years into this marriage I found out, in an email, that my husband had another side to him that I never, ever had a clue about. In the email he gave several websites for me to go look at and read about who is was. He is a cross dresser. I responded a lot with the typical responses, "Do you want to be a woman"?, "Do you want to be with a man"? "Do you still want to be married to me"?, along with many other questions and concerns. I also asked him why he didn't tell me about this before we married. He said it wasn't an issue then. I felt the normal betrayal and felt like I should have been given a choice to marry into this or not. I understand the fear of telling anyone, the fears of rejection, criticism, even abandonment. I recently found out that he wasn't afraid of me leaving at all, and that if I wasn't happy I should leave. At first it was the "feel" of panties that he liked, said he did not need to fully dress, no makeup, wig, etc, just liked to wear panties, maybe go out dressed as a sexy nurse for Halloween sometime. With the suggestion of several sites and my therapist (that I was seeing due to another issue of trust between us), and himself, we set simple boundaries. No ruffles, or bows or really frilly panties, and definitely never in the bedroom. Then came the pushing of those boundaries to include frillier and frillier panties. I didn't like that the boundaries were pushed, but still none in the bedroom so that is where things stayed until about 6 mos ago. I will continue with the last 6 months in another blog, out of respect for him/her, as my husband is on this site and he is telling his story in his own blog. The hardest part of this for me for a long time was not being told before marriage. In my younger days I hung out with gay guys alot because they were safe for me. I even helped a dear friend go "out" for his first time, and he hit on the wrong person, and then said no, and ended up dead behind the bar that very night. So my main issue with this now is fear, fear for him/her when we go out with him'her being dressed. I'm a worrier anyway, and this is tenfold. I just wish he/she could see that everything I do, I do for him/her. I'm not criticizing him/her, or trying to tear him/her down at all. Do I wish he didn't have to dress ever, yes, do I think he can, no. I don't want him/her to hide anything from me. I can be accepting. We all have this life we picture, but not all of what we fantasize is reality, I just want us to be happy with what we do have now, whether he's in guy mode or girl mode. I welcome any comments, good or bad. Thank you for reading,

Dear Sandi, I think it's terrific that you're sharing this and, from my own experience, your feelings are very understandable. You and your husband were ten years older, more mature, and wiser than when you married. Hopefully you're both better able to be sensitive and understanding of each other's feelings and talk openly to each other. Neither you or your husband wanted "this" but you each selected each other, maybe him you because he sensed that you might be accepting and remain loving, and you him because of an indefinable quality that you didn't find in other men. The most important thing is for both of you to communicate. Easy to say, hard to do, without reacting. It's natural for us to be emotional, threatened, and hurt. I believe this also provides an opportunity for you both to deepen your relationship through building trust of vulnerability, acceptance of each other, and love. I wish you both the very best, Emma

So, this has been an interesting week. I am taking off of work from 12/20 - 1/5, and planned on using the holidays to take a step back, focus on me and what is going on and gain more insight. During the week I had more of an internal struggle with myself. It was like my male side struggling with my female side. There were times that I felt guilty of who I was (which has not happened in awhile), guilty of what I am putting others through particularly my wife. Thinking about care. I had to set my FSA contribution limits. I ended up maxing it out. Yet I feel guilty for the financial cost of therapy and the potential cost of hormones, electrolysis, etc. and it's potential impact to my family, like I'm stealing from them or something. I need to get past this. I also need to resolve this. First it starts with me getting opportunities to express myself to feel comfortable. That's the other thing. I go from feeling like my skin is crawling because I am not who I should be to wanting to fight this ... and live with the status quo. The thing that is so strange and I told my therapist this is, when I was young, being a guy was an act. But over time I have socialized as a guy (not a girl) and have gotten good at it. So good, I am confident in my role, when many years before I was not. Part of this is leading people and companies (which I would continue to do as a woman, that wouldn't change!) but also in fathering my children. I will always be a father and I am so proud of that, that I will never turn my back as a role as their father. So, I need to figure out what that means to me and to them. My role as a husband has been lacking some, but it has more to do with our lives, how both my wife and I have let life and children be at a higher priority than our relationship. A big issue is me potentially transitioning and her seeing me not as a husband or spouse anymore and going through the motions. Anyways, I've seen this as a need or gap for years, but have taken a more passive approach to dealing with the needs of my wife. I need to take more of an active role in making our relationship better and cherish her for the person who she is and who I married. Even if she does not want to stay with me. And that's the other thing. I could decide not to transition at all, yet because of her view of me, may not want to stay anyways. There are so many unknowns and no guarantees in life unfortunately. I've also been thinking about my role as a woman. Even if I do not transition, there will always be a woman inside of me. Beyond the things on the surface that one identifies as being female, such as face, voice and how one carries themselves, I've been mostly focused on who I want to be. For example, I've noticed in a lot of women (not all), due to inflection of their voice, they sound as if they are asking a question instead of making a statement or a demand. For some reason, particularly in the business environment, it can be cute but annoying particularly when you want the other person to be clear and assertive. That is going to be hard for me. I think part of the time, I will have no problem in adapting to this if I transition to female. But there are other times, I know I will be a b-i-t-c-h that does not conform to that model. So, I'm learning about that and I'm sure that I will learn more as I go along. Also, I've always been a planner. One thing that I've learned is that you never go into something without knowing at least 80% of what will happen or the outcomes. And also an exit strategy and contingency planning. So that is what I will start doing now. Understanding the practical steps to a transition, focusing on what I would absolutely have to do. Then focus on the nice to have stuff. If I do that it will help me make this more concrete and help me understand what I need to do if I take that step. I'm just thankful for the support and patience of friends and family that know. If I had all of the answers this would be easy. Thank all of you for your love and support. Love, Lisa

Hi SandCastle, Thank you so much for sharing your story. I think it's great to get some perspective from the other side of the relationship, so I appreciate you posting here. I look forward to reading more. Best wishes, -Sara

Create your own blog at TGGuide.com. It's FREE and you can start right now. Some people blog as a sort of journal to share our thoughts, feelings, experiences and insights. Others blog to express opinions on social and political issues. Others blog to share their knowledge and experience with others. Go ahead. Express yourself! Others may be grappling with issues you blog about and your words could provide useful insight or answers. Here are some blog topic ideas to get your creative juices flowing; A daily journal about your life and experiences A journal documenting when you go full time A journal to document your gender reassignment surgery Dating experiences and tips Crossdressing tips Experience with makeup Passing in public Your experiences when you go out in public Restroom experiences Transitioning at work Dealing with counselors or medical personnel Introspection about your particular gender identity Dealing with or overcoming self-limiting beliefs Dealing with addictions Dealing with self-destructive behaviors Interactions with police or government workers Changing your drivers license, birth certificate, etc. Applying for jobs Your big day, when you go full time Hormonal development (please don't discuss dosages or make medical type recommendations) Experiences with electrolysis How other members of your new gender react to you, and your experiences Your recommendations to others about to follow your path Your thoughts about whether surgery is necessary to be your desired gender Differences in how you feel dressed or not dressed What your life would be like if you still repressed your inner identity Poetry or prose These are a few ideas to get you started. Feel free to leave comments to suggest your own ideas, or just start a blog and share with everyone. Just log into your control panel to start your own blog. This could be interesting!

Ya know, over time, my g/f has still remained my "pillar" of sorts. In fact, there have been a few times she has gotten on me because I've said or implied something that she felt was a little close-minded on my part concerning our community. Gotta love a woman who can keep ya in line. :lol:

hi how to start this blog firstly im from elgin ,moray,uk was born a while ago saffice to say im in my very very late 20,s(51) when i was growing up any fancy dress party or the likes of halloween i would put on my mams (mom) clothes then by 11 my mam bought some new and weirdly fascinating tights(pantyhose) dont know what it was but i fell in love with the desire to wear them so one day i did and started to dress a lot when my mam & dad where out however that could not last forever on the whole it was a wonderful time in my life all i needed was some support as i say it could not last forever one halloween a friend from school caught me while i was out trick or treatimng kinda weird when you are 15 still out dressed up but hey . but that wasnt the only thing when i was at one of my friends house we would pretend to be out clubbing or being a naughty nurse they never had to look far for a surrogate girl if you like thank god his sister had panties and tights as well as skirts that fitted weird thing was when i was 16 i just asked my friend what would he do if when we were older if i came back as a woman what would he do he said he would beat me up. a little later in life as i could not hide my desires any longer in the uk we have a paper called the sun ther was an agony aunt called deirdre so i wrote to her telling her my desire nae my wish to be out in public dressed up with or without make-up her reply dissapionted me though she never told me not to she did say that in her opinion i would not be able to do that until i had gone off this mortal coil "bitch" funny though i defied her odds still alive and have dressed full time 24/7 in skirts tights with and without make-up. so here i am having gone through bigotry and ignorance and a lot of new freinds feeling stronger and looking forward to the future

You're very courageous and to be admired! Despite all that negative feedback you still did (and do) what you needed. Thank you for being such a wonderful example to everyone. Emma P.S. I have also always loved tights!

What a month it’s been. It started off pretty low for me when my wife and I met with our therapist. I gave them a very open update and my wife was terribly upset. Assuming the worst (which I’m quite good at doing) I was sure that she was going to want a divorce. Thankfully she didn’t. She apologized for her reaction and assured me that she supports my explorations. Remembering those days even now still causes me pain. It’s also diminished my enthusiasm and I’ve felt drawn back into the closet. That said, though, my wife encouraged (in some ways demanded) that I find a transgender support group to attend. I learned that a “support group” is one that is led by a therapist or mental health professional. Surprisingly, I found it hard to find one, but I received some help and was successful. The first meeting I’ll attend is on January 8th. My older son gave me the book “Fully Present” as a Christmas present. It’s about the science, art, and practice of Mindfulness Meditation. I’d known about this practice for years and it was recommended to me but I was kind of reluctant to study it. I guess I was (and am) afraid that I won’t be able to “do it” which, yeah, sounds kind of silly. Anyway, I am slowly and patiently reading the book and it does seem like an ideal combination of science, art, and practice – just like they said. This morning I read, “The basic tenet of mindfulness and science is to observe things as they are.” And, “In the spirit of self-discovery, we invite you to attempt meditation with a very scientific attitude – one of scientific exploration.” Wow, does that speak to me! I’ve been thinking over the past few days about what I might write here. I like the idea of having a monthly report like this but what should I do? Perhaps keep a running list of questions that I want to explore on my journey with therapists, groups, meditation, and my friends here at TG Guide: Am I “merely” addicted to the endorphin jolt I receive at times when I wear female clothing? I do like it, that’s for sure. And if it’s an “addiction,” should I attend some sort of 12-step program for it? I don’t think this is the case for me but one has to wonder at times. If I receive the truly unconditional love and acceptance I need from my wife will my transgender desires/needs evaporate or extinguish? I do really want the former but doubt the latter – as much as I would like it to be true. What will it take for me to ever achieve peace and acceptance with myself? My hypothesis these days is that when I was a toddler that my mother rejected me, I looked around and from what I could see, girls were the ones that are loved, accepted, and celebrated. They wore dresses and skirts so that’s what I wanted to. But, maybe my mother was “just” reacting to my desires for girlish things? (Which came first, the chicken or the egg?) Anyway, I wish everyone here at TG Guide a wonderful and prosperous New Year. I love you all. Emma Photo: The "The Imitation Game" movie, about Alan Turing. What a remarkable man, and such a tragedy that he ended up taking his life because of punishments he endured when he was "convicted" of being homosexual. I found it a poignant reminder of how many transgender people feel today. But, a remarkable movie nonetheless!

In the part of Kentucky that I live in everyone is religious and I mean that to the most extreme of existent(of course it's nothing like the WBC.). Anyway ever since I was small I related more toward boys thank I did the girl's my age. However it wasn't my parents that were the problem...No both my parents provided neutral choices and let me choose whatever I liked and for that I am grateful. However the one thing that I can never shake is the fact that I was Forced to go to church as a preteen. I was around eleven when she started making me go. Sure I had went up until that point but I always had a choice. Now don't get me wrong I am religious but my Mom's reasoning is what I don't completely understand because it was when I was around that time when I chopped my hair off for the first time. Now in my mom's opinion a girl/woman is suppose to have long hair and she expected me to follow that code. But the thing was, I hated my hair....I could always imagine myself with something similar to a buzz cut and always said that was what I would do when I got older. The hair style I settled for back then was more of a pixie cut than anything else because the hairdresser refused to do what I wanted(hair dresser was my cousin also so she knew my mother.) Needless to say my mom freaked out and basically asked me why I wanted to look like a boy. At that time I had no answer. So she assumed that I was lesbian and made me begin to wear dresses and skirts and asked the preacher to pry for me since I was going through a phase after the passing of my dad. Everyone I knew (minus a few cousins that got forbidden from talking to me during this time) began to tell me how I was wrong for wanting to be like a guy and I started believing it; even if I still dressed in pants and kept my hair shorter than my mom would have liked. This lasted up until I met this one girl invited me to come to her church. she's in her mid twenties now though I have no idea what age she was at that time Though she was obviously older than me. I'll call her "A" to respect her privacy but she was the reason I didn't turn my back on religion. You see what made "A" different was that she was masculine and she felt the same way toward girls as I did, and the best thing was...the preacher at her church knew. He didn't agree with any of it but he didn't judge and that was more than what I could have asked for at that age. For that short while I didn't feel lost, I felt like I could finally be myself but it wasn't meant to be because "A"s parent's had gotten divorced and she was moving in with her dad downstate. Again I fell into a slump because hardly anyone understood how I felt; even the guys I had use to hang out with only saw me as a girl and I hated it. I think I had only five friends in middle school and only one knew how I felt and didn't try to change me and actually helped me through a lot of my emotional problems during that time and even if her and I are not on speaking terms at the moment I still owe her a lot just for putting up with me back then. High school was a different story all together. I met a group of students that had a lot in common with me. One was MTF and actually on hormones, one was FTM and the other four was just crazy. It was because of them that I started expressing my gender identity and even had my hair cut in an almost army fashion for the first time. But like always people's always saying "You're going to get kicked out of church." So what? It's just a building and there are churches that would accept me. Just because I am not comfortable with the gender I was assigned at birth doesn't mean my faith has lessened. My mom still see's me as a girl...My brother is homophobic and everything else in between but most of my family knows something's up with me; especially when I tell them to call me Lane. But I know that if I ever want to be happy I have to break away from the social norms and be my own person; even if it means losing the support and love of members of my family.

I am confused. Now, as a cranky old guy I admit there are things I may never understand. This is something that I understand even less than anything else. Scenario 1. Pamela decides to transition. and becomes Paul and then decides he is gay. So after many years of painful surgery, Paul decides to dress in clothing that is not unlike clothing that his female counterpart would wear, and begins to wear makeup again. Paul is convinced that he is no longer gay, but pansexual. Paul is also deciding that he wants to look more like Russel Brand and thus begins referring to himself as "The female Russel Brand" . Paul also makes remarks about himself (such as reacting to a spider in a very lady like manner of screeching and crying) that it is his "Girl side coming out..don't judge" Paul is a real person... and I come across similar, though not so drastic situations every week with young transmen. "I'm a transman, but I am gay" or "WHen I transition I am going to F*** everything that walks" and still "WHen I have a dick, I am going to be so strong." My all time personal favorite to hate is: "My boyfriend and I are going to be together and get married even after I transition. We'll get married and have kids" so I asked "How? How will you have kids?" His response was "Well in about ten years when I am ready for kids I will just stop taking T and just be a mom." Are you @($*%&(* kidding me? Now first of all........ Trans is about gender... not genitals. while I am sure It is convenient to have matching parts, it is not the 'thing' that makes one a trans person. When did being transgender become about sex? It seems to me that way too many people are misguided in thinking that there is somehow some magical happening when they begin to take hormones. Well there is, but I don't think it works the way that some of these kids think it does. You can't just STOP being a trans person. You can't just STOP taking hormones and revert back to your old self. You can't just STOP and expect people to have any respect for other trans people who are truly struggling to do everyday things like.. staying alive! So lets address those things: 1. You can't just STOP being a trans person. Hard to believe as it may seem- being trans isn't an option. It's who we are born or made to be. (yes yes that whole last sentence is a controversy all its own.. we will talk about that in a different post.) Being a trans person is something that maybe hundreds of thousands of people deal with every day. NO ONE voluntarily says: "I think I will dress in the opposite sex's clothing and claim to be something I am not because I am so sick and tired of being accepted. I truly want to be shunned, ostracized from my own family, hated by the moral majority, stared at in public, possibly hurt or killed by bigots!! OOOH WHAT FUN! WHEN DO WE GET STARTED?" We are who we are. It is a fact. To 'stop' being a trans person, means that we either had to sell out and sacrifice our identities for something big.. and I mean huge! or you never were. Yeah, I think it is that simple. I am a very public person, and because of this I have access to peoples lives that most other people don't. I ask questions that most people wouldn't dare. I get away with it because I do it on stage. The result is phenomenal. The result is -no person who is sincerely trans would ever utter phrases like the real ones I listed above. For most of us, transitioning is the one action that saved us from suicide. 2. You can't just STOP taking hormones and revert back to your old self. Now I am not sure what taking hormones does for trans women.. besides the obvious.. breasts, emotions heightened.. possibly a softening of the skin and weakening of lean muscles. For a transguy, it is completely different. For me, and for my friend Paul, and most other trans guys I know, the first thing to happen is a change in temperament. Paul and a lot of the other guys I know turned into dick-heads. They became mouthy, crude, more insensitive to women's issues. They started toning up, and working out. Their voices deepened, and their skin, especially in their faces became more rough. That was after the immense amount of acne on their back chest and face. For me, almost the opposite happened. At the age of 40 I got acne for the first time in my life. My voice is so deep now that my Choir-Master has to rewrite the baritone parts for me and make them deeper and with a smaller range. I used to be a second soprano. Now I am almost off the charts, but I have a very limited range of depth. My face is rough and yes, I am finally, after four years starting to get facial hair. I'm native American, so I was prepared for this laid back attitude that the follicles were going to undoubtedly display.. If hair could talk mine would say "Hey man... don't worry about it.. we'll fix your face when we fix the fence.. right after bingo... sometime.. oh after the Pow-Wow". Its finally happening at 44 and three quarters years old.... I didn't get 'cut' or built like a greek god' unless you can find a five foot Indian and mexican god with a love for plain latte's and a dislike for exercising 'god' like figure... then nope.. not me. I'm a fat guy. Meh... What I didn't expect, and what others didn't expect is what Testosterone injections did to my behaviour. After reading article after article, my 21 year old daughter moved out just two weeks before I took T for the first time. The underlying theme was "The female who takes testosterone will most likely experience a rise in aggression and anger, undoubtedly, anywhere from one to three months to a permanent change in behaviour." She wan't having any of that. I was already so angry that I threw things at the walls to release that anger.. and I may have been sort of a profanity spewer. Maybe just a little. What testosterone did for me was to balance me out. I no longer have anger issues. None. I get angry and have found that because my hormones are in check, I can express "I am angry" verbally without losing my cool. It is sort of a miracle thing that happened.. no one is afraid to talk to me any more. I am told that I am an anomaly in this matter. I am self confident where as I never was before. I've stopped paying for maid service. I do it all myself now. I have physical strength and stamina that I never had before. I have learned to compartmentalize things like you wouldn't believe. ? WHen my girlfriend asks me "What are you thinking What's on your mind" Ladies... it is not a joke.. there is NOTHING there. Believe your men.. they aint lyin sistah!!! There is no downside to this. part of transitioning. The point is, I have named only a very few of the physical, mental, chemical and emotional changes of taking hormones I wasn't born with. A trans mans voice will never return. If I stop taking injections, I will never be a second soprano again. I will never have soft skin again, and while I don't personally have to worry about a whole lot of hair growth that I would have to lazer and wax off, I did find my first chest hair the other day.... dammitt if it wasn't silver. You can't just 'go back'. If you even think that for a moment, you probably aren't trans to begin with and what you need is not hormones, but deep psychological help to get to the root of your issues. It's nothing to be ashamed of.. its just a fact. 3. You can't just STOP and expect people to have any respect for other trans people who are truly struggling to do everyday things like.. staying alive! In 2013 I had the privilege of speaking at Boise's TDOR (Transgender day of remembrance) memorial event. TDOR is something that we don't celebrate, but instead, we mourn. Every year people are beaten and murdered for being trans. I took this next bit from TVTP IDAHO; A website that tracks transgender violence. I will put the link below. as well Tragically, the level of youth being murdered in the four months of 2014 has been astounding. 8 year old boy beaten to death by father for being trans* 14 year old strangled to death and stuffed under a bed Two 16 year olds were shot to death Three 18 year olds stabbed to death, dismembered, or shot Two 18 year olds murdered with no details being reported An 18 year old suffered two violent attacks by a mob and survived Please tell me.. on what freakin planet is it ever ok to hurt a child? But to beat one to death because he is transgender? This is not a society that is kind to trans people. This is not a society that will ever fully accept trans people. This society is still so full of Good Old Boys that still thinks it is perfectly acceptable to publically humiliate other people. One cannot just 'stop' with out some backlash to the rest of us. Now I am a big guy. I am not fragile. I am not afraid of what someone can say to me privately or publicly. II would be a damned fool though if I ever thought or stated that I am not afraid of what someone could DO to me. Not just no, but hell no. If it hurts, I don't want it to happen to me. I am just that crazy about the welfare of my body. To be honest, I am just crazy enough, filled with enough love and compassion for you too.. Personal safety is a huge issue with trans people. Those people who have or think they can "Just quit" (I repeat) are not trans to begin with and have bigger issues than hormones can fix. The other safety that is maybe even more life threatening is the real risk of suicide. This year I lost two people to suicide. One jumped off a building in Boise. The other just passed a few weeks ago. They were painfully saddened, and lonely people who felt that there was no other way for them to live.. so.. they ended it. In the past twenty years I need all ten fingers and eight toes to count the suicides of people I have loved. Trans people are not immune to rejection. The words that others speak to us are hurtful, painful, damaging and yes they can even be life threatening. I started by saying I am confused.... Young trans brothers and sisters, transitioning is not something to e taken lightly. This is a lifetime decision.. For a lot of you, certainly for my young friends Paul and Peter (yes those are their real names) it a community.. it was a lot of excitement to belong to a community that would give them privilege (the male community) and what they believed to be better access to jobs, sex, and self worth... but they aren't really as happy and secure as they thought they would be. Peter now knows that his voice change is permanent. Take as much time as you can to make the decision to transition. Think every single aspect through. If you are reading this and are just so excited to get started that you don't have time to do your homework fully and completely on the changes of changing... then I would say you are not ready, for what ever reason. THIS is a decision that will affect the rest of your lives. Know what you are doing. It's a reasonable thing to ask of you. Paul believes that he will be just fine wearing makeup and lacey things with his beard and that the world will just accept him as he is. Maybe.. but doubtful. I am just speaking honestly. Peter still thinks he can quit and have babies in another 8 years. Paul.. told me not to judge. I won't. As for myself.. I can tell you, I went through two years of tears and anguish when the only thing that had given me any comfort in this world through all my personal struggles and the deaths of my brother and friends was gone.. my voice. I will never sing well again. I'm in the college choir because singing is all I have ever known. There are a lot of other things that I wanted to write, but don't have time to cover here. Being trans isn't like the latest fashion trend or smoking cigarettes. You can't just quit.. If you think you can, you are more confused and disturbed than I am.

I need to clarify something about an issue for him hiding it wasn't because he was afraid I'd leave. That did not factor into his reason for hiding it is all, he just wouldn't want me to stay in the relationship if I wasn't happy.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens , bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with strings , these are few of my favorite things . This song melody was from a 1965 American musical '' The Sound of Music '' staring Julie Andrews & Christopher Plummer directed an produced by Robert Wise . We are born in the way we are for sure . How much of what we were exposed to in our past lives has molded us into what we have become today . I was told so many times '' toughen up , toughen up , do not act like a girl. Now that I am on my own '' pink '' that girly color truly is becoming my favorite color . In the past I was taught to shy away from this color boys do not wear such things. I do like bright colorful things , flowers , butterflies , soft feeling things like lace , nylon , and satin . I like to go shopping . I remember going to department stores with my mother , I would love to hide in the ladies dress racks feeling those dresses against my skin. The sound of falling water is so peaceful , the oak forest whispering from a breeze is pleasing . How about music and dance . I like all kinds of music and I can dance for hours. I do like to smell like a girl ; before when I did not shave those underarms , well anyway........ that was not so pleasant. I like to change my look from time to time , before I always carried the same boyish image. I like kind people , and those not so kind , I know there is a smile in there someplace. With all these likes and there is plenty more. I wonder , how that I was raised to be so tough , that I am now living and experiencing those girly things that I do like. I should be like a Sylvester Stallon '' Rambo '' or something . '' The Sound of Music '' movie was such a great musical . I remember watching it several times . Julie Andrews to me is the epitome of a lady like classy lady , both in the movie and in real life. How much did watching that movie so many times influenced how I perceive how a women should be ? Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens brown paper packages tied up with strings '' These are a few of my favorite things . '' Be what ever you want to be , just love yourself that is what really counts.

Hello. My name is Dr. Oweena Scott PHD. and I am a Clinical Psychologist. I offer my services to any one transgendered who is in need of help on line FREE OF CHARGE. My e-mail address is Dr_Oweena_Scott@therapist.net. I am also trans gendered so I am familiar with the needs that you face.

Hi Lane, Yeah, doesn't it suck being told who and what we're "supposed" to be? It's like they are denying that you are valid, that you exist for the wonderful person that you are. I am not at all surprised at how you feel. I think there are some important points to be made here, such as: 1. Try to find others that you can openly talk to. Maybe it's someone at church or elsewhere. But if you know they are going to listen but say something like "pray that this all goes away" don't talk to them. Go find someone who really listens and gives you support. I agree, these people may be hard to find. But it's important. 2. Do try to find a church you can go to and feel comfortable at. Maybe there is one in another nearby city/town where you can meet new people. 3. Have you looked online to see if there is a local support group, near where you live? Maybe they can also suggest a church(s) for you. And anyway, you may find others you can talk to. 4. I think it can be helpful to talk to a therapist. But I don't know about your ability to pay or your insurance. Please think about this. Then, we can think about ways to find one. 5. Have you seen Warren's blog here at TG Guide? I suggest you read it, add your comments and thoughts, and maybe you guys can communicate via private messages. It seems to me that you have some of the same issues in common. I really hope this helps you and am glad that you wrote your post. It's by reaching out to this wonderful community that we may all help and support each other. Sincerely, Emma