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There has been an argument in the Lesbian community for decades about whether transwomen are the same as cisgender (born female) women. The argument goes, "the transwoman has not suffered GROWING UP in a misogynist (woman hating) society." My answer is that it takes courage to transition from a man with male privilege to a woman in a misogynist society. So, BOTH are to be commended. In both the cisgender woman and the transwoman, I sense the female energy, that they BOTH had from birth suffered, but in different ways. They are both women, and as such, they should give each other support as women. A corollary to this would be a person with epilepsy and another person who is a paraplegic in a wheelchair, very different disabilities, one may have been born disabled and another became disabled as an adult, are also both disabled and should give one another support rather than nit-picking who is more disabled, or even if one is disabled at all. The upshot is that we are part of the human family and we should celebrate our differences rather than let them drive us apart!

Went to check the balance on my checking account two days ago and I found a charge that I did not recognize, called the bank and they are working on a resolution to get my money back. What I really like about my bank is, you walk in, tell them what happened then the cancel the card and create a new one on the spot. I am extremely diligent with my card and the only time the card is out of my seight is when purchasing gasoline (Oregon is you can not pump your own) so it has me wondering if that is the case or when I did a online purchase at Victoria's secrets last week. Hopefully the bank will track down who is responsible for this. Gets you thinking especially with all the hacking which has been going on recently

A female friend of mine told me in short when talking one day (I am in female mode at the time), "It's a mans world" so be prepared for this, things will change for you both good and bad.

Veronica, My understanding is that Misogynists are women-haters. It is abhorrent behavior, like any person who hates anyone, such as a racist. Also, rapists are often misogynists. Is it diagnosable? I imagine it certainly is. Another question is whether it is treatable. I don't know the answer to that but as I assume it comes from deep psychological problems I certainly hope so. Emma

Hi Monica, So good to see your blog post here, and an important question too. I think the answer is perhaps more subtle, just like there are differences between cisgender women. Some are people that we're attracted to, like being with, or think similarly to us or the way we feel comfortable as friends or lovers. And others, well, we're not compatible with. Sometimes we call that chemistry. I think the important difference is what is inside the person, regardless of whether she is a cisgender woman or transgender woman, and if she is trans, whether she is transitioning, transitioned, or crossdressing. There is no good or bad, better or worse, more or less. We are all people on this planet and all part of this wonderful community. Emma P.S. Okay, there are people who hurt others and those I put into the "bad" category, at least until they recognize their unacceptable behavior and atone for it.

I just checked mine and they're fine. I probably look at them 2-3 times per week so I don't worry much. We've had a couple of minor instances in the past and all of the credit card companies did exactly what you describe: immediately cancel the current card(s) and send us new ones. BTW, some years back we had a situation where we bought what we thought was an antique dining room table from a local vendor. We found out that it was not what they said it was and refused to take it back. The lucky thing was that we'd used a Visa card for its purchase. I disputed the charge, got an independent assessment of the table (which wasn't easy), and the money was fully refunded by Visa. Can't do that with checks or cash!

Being it’s a new year a thought went through my head, I know what the monetary cost for preparing for surgery, actual surgery and after care but what is the cost over time? Well without going down to the penny I spent roughly $2,000 for a therapist, not enough to register for medications (insurance paid this), since 2000 spent roughly $4,000 for electrolysis, $7,000 on body enhancements. Now couple this with surgery and aftercare I figure a round number is $35.000. Let’s round this off to $50,000 and calculated this cost over the remainder of my life. I am currently 58 years old and at best would live to roughly 90 years old as I believe my genes are predominately my mother’s side of the family where the last three women averaged life is 95. Of course none of them smoked which I have but quitting but they did not have the better care of live available today so I am going to say I might live to 80 or 85. That comes to $3,200 ($266 per month) cost for the rest of my life which I feel is well worth it. Now with that said imagine you could pay for your transition this way. For some it is still unreachable which is sad. All who have considered to transition from male to female many times never take in the magnitude of the cost to transition. If I were doing this today at an early age I would (thinking I think like I do today) go to college, pick a profession that pays well and put my head to the grindstone to fund transitioning. Sure it is easy to say as there are many variables that could side track this but without a plan and goal all the wishing in the world will not make this happen but instead like many will fall asleep at night hoping to wake up in a female body is unrealistic as we all know this will not happen. Any ways with that said I don’t see the $266 spread out over time but instead the money spent put me where I should be and no amount of money can change this. When I made the final decision to transition I was focused like never before in my life, figured out what I needed to move forwarded and never looked back. Nothing like peace of mind.

Karen, I am very happy for you! You must be so excited that this month, finally, you will achieve what you have been thinking about and planning for so very long. I can only imagine how wonderful you are feeling now and in the future. Emma

Good morning everyone and happy new year! I`ll introduce myself, I am Tegan Nelson :)

Hello Tegan and welcome to the forum.