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Thank you usernameoptional, I haven't had that so far on this site and it's great:)))

Monica, I mean skipping "the talk" by meeting guys that already know that I'm transgender so I won't have to go through it. Like through friends, or guys that know me from the tran-advocacy events that I do sometimes on campus, etc. I have met and dated guys that way and it was so nice not to know that I have to have that awkward discussion. Unfortunately, I haven't met anyone that way lately.

Ladies - Kristila mentioned that a member "was feeling down," and that "one of the things was that men are sending her unwanted friend requests and messages on social sites." I realize [in this case] that the unwanted attention was on another site, but I want to remind all of you, that if you receive unwanted attention here on the forum... please let a moderator know - we can't do anything about a problem if we don't know about it. Since this isn't a social network or site, we don't have to put up with that kind of activity. Unwanted contact, especially if the individual continues after s/he has been either ignored or asked to stop, is not tolerated. -Mike

One of the members here recently was feeling down (I hope that you feel better today:) and discouraged. One of the things was that men are sending her unwanted friend requests and messages on social sites. This is such an annoyance for transgender women and makes us all to aware how we can be objectified as fetish objects by a certain type of guy who don't really see us as real people, let alone women. Sometimes you just get so fed up with it, and at the wrong time, it can really get to you. They all seem to say and ask the same or similar things which can run the spectrum from ignorant, to insulting, to just so creepy that you feel like you need to take a shower after reading them. I'm thinking why not have some fun at these creep's expense. I'm going to list some of the typical things, usually the opening line from a message that I've gotten. Tell me if it sounds familiar and add some of the ones that you've gotten, ok? Of course, I can't include the more X rated comments that I've gotten. 1. You a tranny? 2. I'm curious and want to "try" a tranny, you want to be my first? 3. Do you Skype? 4. Text me. 555 555 5555. 5. Send me pictures. 6. Send me naked pictures. 7. Do you still have "it?" 8. Is 67 too old? (I'm 19) 9. Give me your number. (like I'm going to give a complete stranger my phone#!) 10. Give me your phone number and I'll send you a picture of my..... 11. What are you wearing? 12. Do you have boobs? 13. How big is your.... 14. Hi, do you like me? 15. I'm on he down low, do you want to be my secret thing? (yeah, I want to be somebody's "thing") There are so many more that are probably worse, and many too creepy to say here on tgguide. These are a few that I've heard over and over. On a dating site that I tried recently, some of the user names tell you right up front what these guys are all about. I also can't write most of those here, but for example, how many girls are looking to meet a guy that calls himself "freakdude69?" It can be so frustrating, I so understand why this gets to other girls. At first i was actually a little flattered that guys were (I thought) interested in me, but I got onto what they were about and really got so sick of it. So girls, are there any particularly weird, clumsy, funny or bizarre things that guys have said to you? At least things that you can say here, but nothing to "graphic." Again, I'm leaving out those that are too creepy, sexually graphic or disgusting....which are most of the comments that girls like us get. La la la:))) KML

I found this on You Tube, the poem at the end really blew me away.............. I can't really think of what more to say after that, other than I have troubesome neighbours who want to stare.........they make my heart heavy......... Eve x

One of my Facebook friends is my daughter's best friend who posted that she closed the front door and the security latch got wedged into the door preventing it from opening and asked for help. Since I knew she lived closed by I replied with "I will help if you still need assistance". She gave me her address, five minutes from my home. Went over, I knocked on the front door and she came around from the back door. When she greeted me (she had not seen me in five years) no reactions or comments on my new look as female. Looked at the front door, figured out I needed to pry the door and by thinking ahead of time brought a pry-bar with me. Took two minutes to free the door then a minute to hammer a metal strip back into place. Turned to her and said "done", she thanked me and I left. When I returned home she had sent me a private message You look great by the way! I suppose I figured out what your trip to California was about and wow! Congrats on looking awesome!! I guess she then scrolled through my Facebook notes and on one wrote You are so beautiful. Really. Just so you know. More validation for me. Perhaps this might nudge others down their chosen path of transitioning.

Karen, that is a really wonderful story!

Thank you everyone for the kind words. I am feeling much better now, even though I feel totally wrong about my body. I did update my privacy settings on FB again. I am going to need to get moving on seeing the endocrinologist and hormones. I am also going to need to update my wife. I am sure that this is going to really upset her, even though I told her in January that I was most likely going to need to do this. Wish me blessings (or luck!) Thank you all so very much, Love, Lisa

Hey Lisa:) Sorry to hear that things have gotten to you today. I had one of those days not too long ago and wrote a long blog entry about it. It's definitely good to get it out. Some people just try to make themselves feel better by making others feel bad. The ones that get really mean have the biggest issues. I had one guy reply to a comment I made on youtube, telling me that he hopes that I will die soon. The sex creeps just seem to be everywhere online. That's the reason I've deleted most of my accounts on transgender social sites. You can limit who can send you messages and friend requests on Facebook, but there's no way to stop all of the unwelcome requests. There's a lot of support out there though, try to focus on friends and our amazing community when it gets bad. Just remember to kill them with a smile:) It's like Taylor Swift says: Cause the players gonna play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake Shake it off, shake it off:))) Also Lisa, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Feel better soon! Kristi

It is ashame people have to be this why towards their fellow mankind/womankind. I truly hope the days to come do not weight heavy on you because of these people. This might be the perfect time to have some cheese, chocolate and wine while watching a good movie to erase the troubles of the day.

Dear Lisa, Am very sorry for your bad experience. Please realize you are not alone. Have left Facebook (FB) and Twitter, for exactly the same thing. They say you can control access to your account, but I feel that control is very limited. Really don't miss it. Keep my posts on a tightly moderated website, such as this one. That way, I have the support without the hassle! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Lisa, I feel saddened myself to hear your story. I wish I could take it all away but we know that it is almost to be expected and dealt with. But that doesn't make it any easier. Here you have friends that support you always, no matter what. Pound out your frustrations and hurts onto your keyboard. Try to let it go. But overall you must be careful. There are hateful people out there who might do you harm. I know you know that but it needed to be said. I wish you the very best and a wonderful weekend too. And my condolences for the loss of Lauren. I'll bet you would love to be able to cry on her shoulder now. Hugs and hugs, Emma