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You know your in a decent rest room when there is a trash can by the door to drop the tissue you used to open it! :)

Something I learned after surgery and using the toilet was I sometimes drip a few drops of pee after thinking I wiped properly. So at home I inspect the seat everytime and will wipe the seat down if there are any drops. Same for restrooms without paper covers and I have used tissues on the seat. In regards to door knobs, at work I hit the door opener with the back of my hand, still does not solve all issues but better then a normal door opening.

Veronica, I agree completely!!! In fact, I also use a piece of tissue to adjust the toilet seat (if needed) and to flush the toilet. In public restrooms I don't want to touch anything that others have touched if I can avoid it.

Glad to see you with us Art ! See you around the webiverse ! :)

Hello Art, there should be no rush deciding on a name. Best advice on a name I can give is look at a list of names, pick a handful that feel right then for a week or so contemplate how each name works for you. Do this both in your mind and when you can say it out loud, many just think in their mind while saying it out loud can make a big difference in the acceptability of a name. When I came out there were three or four should said I thought Janet was good for you while the majority said Karen was perfect. I spent more time on my last name then my first name. But each spanned over weeks, not hours or days as a name change process when it comes time for it can take four to six weeks and there is tons of paper work. You may not be ready for that now but it's good to get use to a name no matter when the name change is done, tomorrow or years from now.

I'd add that I have said many times to my friends thaty being Trans is a hell of a lot more difficult than than being Lesbian, Bi or Gay, even if you don't take hormones or have breasts or don't want GRS, you have to live with two different identities. I found this to be ever increasingly difficult, you also look completely different from your CIS self, and others can notice it and make nasty comments etc. OK after a while on hormones your features do change to be more femme (or male as the case might be), but then you have to do something about beard growth (electrolysis in my case, and it hurts), also your voice needs to be different to your cis voice. You also need to acquire the confidence to be able to present in your Trans gender everyday, not just now and again, but every day and still be capable of doing nearly all of the things that you did in your cis gender, the list goes on and on. Some of us have a head start over others of us, when their cis gender and build is closely matched to their trans gender, (I had to really work at it, and it's still ongoing).......... So yes I agree with Karens doctor, it is in my opinion one of the hardest things that I could have done. Cheers Eve

Sounds as though the restrooms are pretty much the same as in the UK, mens are a lot worse than the ladies. But it reminds me of my very first shopping trip 3-4 years ago in a mall, I had to go to the loo for more than a pee, and largely due to my almost non-existant self confidence at that time, I darted into the first trap I came across. Anyway after doing what was needed, I found that there wasn't any toilet paper, my voice still isn't femme in my opinion, but it was a lot more male at that time, so I was petrified at the thought of there's a man in the ladies being shouted out and being accosted by security guards and police!, so no, I couldn't ask the trap next door for some toilet roll. Luckily I remembered that my wife had put 2 packs of paper honkeys in my handbag.........thank god for a womans experienced help! Cheers, Eve

Several years ago, I was watching one of those investigative-type news programs (20/20, for example). They had done a piece on bathrooms. Turns out, the most germ/bacteria-riddled area of the bathroom was the doorhandle/-knob on entry/exit door of the bathroom.

Dear Warren, Hearing from you often, as today, brings a smile to my face. I like your voice and your ideas. Like you, I accept and love all. I don't care about anyone's sexuality of gender. Recently, both of my therapists (yeah, I have two!) told me that they don't care for the term "transgender." I don't really know why and need to understand this better. I think we all want labels, as long as they are respectful, so we can communicate and understand each other. I'm told that younger people are coming up with all sorts of terms and word combinations for their gender feeling and expression. I wonder if the same thing is true for sexuality. I suspect that there is no perfect word for ones sexuality especially if it includes more than the opposite sex. Keep trying I say but then again don't stress over it. There are too many other things to worry about! Enjoy your vacation. Go have a tea or coffee, read a book, take a nap. You deserve it. Hugs, Emma

Dear Karen, As a cisgender woman, I had a 'B' Cup (34 B from ages 11 to 21. Weighed 125 lbs. and was 5'8." My measurements was 34-24-34. Wish I had those numbers today! LOL!! Yours truly, Monica

Welcome Art :)

Welcome Art! I think it's so cool you're here and introduced yourself. I'm confident you'll find the community here to be warm and accepting. I hope to hear lots more about you and your life. Names can be hard to choose. In a recent TG support group I attended I mentioned that I was having trouble remembering all the new names. Not to worry they said, name changing is rampant among transgender folks! I wrote an early blog post about why I chose Emma. I'll have to read it again myself. Indeed there are times when I hear a different name and think it might be more fun or better. We don't usually select our birth names and Emma is growing on me and my friends here. I think Warren had a great suggestion: go on babynames.com and see what fits. Or, consider people or characters you admire or like. I'm sure that we will love whatever you choose. Emma

Pansexual P.S. If people on farcebook are gonna go all broke-brain at the possibility that a person might be bisexual... the heck with them. Why do they even need to know that you are, or might be, pansexual. Or for that matter... any sexuality. If none of them are attracted to you, and you are attracted to none of them, and there's no chance of any intimate relationships... it's none of their business.

Karen, It sounds like you work at a great place. I am happy for you!! --Lisa

Dear Monica, You're always so wise, and clear in your thinking. Yes, I will be strong. It will be a bit easier since he and I had the chance to talk yesterday and I established the NO in no uncertain terms. Thank you, Emma

Hi Karen, Horrible thoughts, yes I had those, still get them at times but not about completion, more about oh my "God what am I doing" or "oh my God what have I done, I'll be an outcast / freak for the rest of my life, this is not reversible....." Strangely enough they occur whilst lying awake in bed. But I never give in to those thoughts, I have not appeared as male for over 3 months now, and I really do enjoy being "full-time" trans female. Thanks for the warnings about dilation, I have of course heard them from my friends over here, and I still can't wait to rid myself of my 'junk'. Please keep your blogs coming. Kind Regards, Eve

I think another reason we are "under-reported" is that we're just not taken seriously. And that situation existed even before we come out. No matter how great the U.S. claims to be, or is believed to be, no matter how it preaches equality for all, females still are not as important.* Too many trans boys are considered nothing but tomboys. Think about it... if a boy says he wants to be a girl, everyone (including women) will bend over backwards and jump thru their skin and several hoops and loops to convince him he doesn't want to be a girl. They will do all they can to convince him of that. If a girl says she wants to be a boy, she's either told she's just being silly, or she's ignored, or she's patronized, or she's told all little girls want to be boys until they [reach a certain age], or boys are nasty. It's just not taken seriously. AND... when have you ever seen a trans boy/man post about his parents having tried to "beat the boy out" of him? Seems it's only trans girls that experience beatings at the hands of unapproving, unaccepting, homo-/transphobic parents. Quite often, females are raised learning that anything they have to say is insignificant, of little importance. Their voice carries no weight. Some, after a while, learn to just say nothing. *I read an article several years ago that indicated, even is the U.S., there are many more couples who decide not to have more children if their first born is male, as compared to couples who's first born is female. In more cases than not, if the first born is female, an attempt will be made to produce a son.