Sound advice, Karen, thanks. I certainly face many questions and the answers elude, especially as I'm in a fully committed relationship. She's catching up in her own understanding and acceptance (which I must have patience for) and hopefully we will meet in a place where I'm happy and she is too.
I asked my gender therapist in our last meeting what actions/steps she might suggest I take to figure this out. Her metaphor is that we are on a Transgender Train with many stations along the way. We're free to get off and experience that neighborhood and get back on the train at will, to either retreat or move forward. Her advice? Continue my own research, attending her moderated support group, and unpacking my own psychological baggage with my therapist (whom she has talked to).
I think we all move at our own pace. In some ways, sure, we'd like "it all to be over and done with" as soon as possible. But like they say, it's the journey not the destination. Without the journey one cannot fully appreciate the destination or know if they packed the right clothes.
Emma