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I had a little bit of an odyssey this weekend filing my prescription. So even though I received the script on Wednesday, I was not able to fill it until today (wow). It's amazing, but it hardly cost me a thing. 2 months of Estradiol and 1 month of Spironolactone for $25 through Costco. So I took Estradiol for the first time today. Just a 1 MG pill, but felt a little different immediately after for about 15 to 20 mins. Not sure what that was about. I had an empty stomach. Also, the Dr. asked that I let the pill dissolve under my tongue for maximum effect. I don't know if that was what did it. For the first 30 days, I am to take 1 Mg twice per day and then it doubles after that. I will have follow up bloodwork in August just to check my levels again. Should be interesting!! Which is amazing. Insurance is covering the bloodwork and appointments. The biggest short term expensive is electrolysis and laser. I had to delay the laser two weeks, because I had very little growth after 7 weeks. I don't know if it will come screaming back at 8 weeks. I hope not. Yesterday, my wife had a meeting with our pastor, where my pastor made disparaging remarks about local trans* issues in the area. I somewhat expected being trans may be a problem at my current church. Anyways, my wife was mad and upset and told me to put off telling our pastor that I am trans*. I told her that I may look at other churches. I grew up Presbyterian and did not realize that they are trans* friendly. I am not going to say what denomination that I currently go to, but I will seriously consider going back to the Presbytery. Methodists, Episcopals, UU's and other churches are accepting and won't be a problem for me. I will plan on visiting different ones, one per month, until I can decide what I want to do. I was so proud of my wife. Her momma bear instincts kicked in big time. I am so thankful for that!

These are some of the cost to consider when ready to transition. I am sure there is enough to do an educated guess what it will cost you. Therapist, each month for one hour was $150 plus time off work and gas to travel 35 miles each way. Now that I have transitioned I have therapist appointments every three months which I think is a wise idea at least as in my case for one year post op. My first therapist worked on a sliding scale so I paid under $100 per session. A in between therapist I did not like charges $200 so it will vary.Doctor appointments and cost of lab work. It's hard to say as 99% of these fees where covered by my health plan. I do remember some were two-hundred plus every six months. Usually I paid a ten dollar co-pay to the doctor and around five to seven dollars for the lab work. Now if your insurance does not cover these fees then consider every six months you will dish out several hundred dollars for this.HRT medication, here it cost me four dollars for this and have not looked at what it would cost w/o health insurance.Electrolysis, prices vary from city to city, for example where I live it's $60 per hour while in Portland Oregon it's between $80 and $120. I recently replied to a post that I think provides good information on electrolysis. Electrolysis is one of the most tedious processes you will go through for transitioning and the most painful to many.Name change, in Oregon it's $110.00, Legal Zoom does it for $139, noticed California is about $600 so it can vary from state to state, Be prepared to spend a fair amount of time working with your employer who most likely will want you social security card done first. Then there is card cards (hope you don't have a lot), Macy's was horrible in that there process is not done well. How about Paypal, they are extremely easy to deal with.Clothing, if you are like me then out with all the old make clothing which means "shopping" which of course means $$$'s. It will be tempting to go overseas for any surgery such as GRS, tracheal shave, breast augmentation but I would strongly discourage this since things can go wrong and you are left out fending for yourself. So expect to pay around $30,000 for GRS along with around $2.000 for accommodations, food tack on several hundred plus transportation which will vary dependent on rentals or cabs. I was lucky to have the hotel drive me anyplace and would even grocery shop for me.Marci Bowers includes the cost for your hotel room while in the hospital for surgery. This was something I was concerned about until they told me they do this. Heck the hotel room cost $252 per night.Airfare must be considered in the cost and getting to and from the airport. Marci Bowers supplies a limo for going to and from the airport.Even the little things add up such as paper towels and lubricant for dilation. Have you seen the price for KY Jelly?

Thanks for reminding me Sara, I just updated this entry to include electrolysis.

Congratulations, Lisa! It must feel fantastic to get that part of your journey started! Best wishes, Sara

Karen, thank you for sharing this information! I notice that you didn't mention anything about the cost of hair removal? I think you may have covered this elsewhere, but I'm not sure, so I just wanted to mention it, since it can certainly add up! Best wishes, Sara

Hi Christie, I think having doubts and second guessing our decisions... ANY decisions... is just part of the human condition. That being said, this: probably says a lot. Best wishes to you, Sara

It is absolutely critical to have those pills dissolve under your tongue else they will be lost to your kidneys, having zero affects. Typically a doctor will begin with a low dosage and have you come back in several months to check your hormone levels and then make adjustments.

Today I took a somewhat surprisingly big step, at least it was big in the fact that I hadn't anticipated how nervous it would make me. I've been dressing entirely female for the past few weeks, with only a couple of necessary exceptions (which won't happen again), but my shoes have been relatively obscure. I'm wearing women's shoes, but typically either sneakers or boots, shoes that don't necessarily read as female. Today I'm wearing a pair of black flats, these very definitely read as female. It made me a bit nervous, but I survived I was thinking on the way in about the fact that it gets easier each time you go out with something new and realized that it's very true, and very quick being in NYC. I live in Jersey City and work in lower Manhattan, so from the time I leave home until I get in to work, I literally see and am seen by 100s of people. That's quite a change from when I used to live in North Carolina (so many years ago), where I might see nobody until I got in to work (except in passing cars). On an unrelated note, I went to the Taco Bell near me last night on the way home and the boy (yes boy, he couldn't be more than 20 years old) complimented my nail polish. That was quite nice - it came across very naturally, which I really liked!

Hey Warren, It's great to hear from you. Definitely let us know how it goes with talking to the CEO of that LGBT group. If nothing else it's great to add another link to your network of supporters. Who knows who you might gain a connection to. And, love your photos! Emma

Yes I had to fly there, it cost $147.00.

Thanks for this information! The GRS is clearly my big concern, but at $30,000 I could probably find a way to do it if it comes to that. I assume you had to travel for it? Living in NYC I probably wouldn't have to, so at least I wouldn't have the hotel costs. As far as clothing, I'm pretty well along on that

No need to apologize, Warren. We all feel that way from time to time. Sometimes we just need to rant! But I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better lately, and I'm really happy for you that your sibling is coming down to visit. IIRC, the two of you had a great time together when they were staying with you last time, so hopefully you'll both have a blast together this time, too! Warm wishes, Sara

Dear Lisa, Please consider the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) that is TLGB friendly. Have had only one person who had a bad experience with the MCC Church. Went to the King of Peace MCC Church in St. Petersburg, Florida, and had such a wonderful experience, I consider it my best church experience in my life. Was on the greeting committee, where newcomers were given red plastic cups at the social after the service. Talked with them for a few minutes to get to know them, and then introduced them to church members who might have something in common with them. Be aware that just because a DENOMINATION is TLGB friendly, does not mean the individual church is friendly. Attended a so-called TLGB friendly denomination church in upstate New York (whose denomination I will not mention) and discovered all the "old-timers" (all Straight, cisgender people) and they were incredibly hostile. Even though the pastor was Lesbian, learned that they went through pastors like water (like one every year!) and she was a nervous wreck, trying not to piss off the old-timers that were on the board and acted like they owned the church. Take your time, and look at several churches, going to several services at each one, then choose the one that best resonates with you and your wife. Yours truly, Monica

I went to my therapist today. Scheduled an appointment for June 18th in five weeks. I told her how things were going and the progress that I've made. It was more of an update and encouragement. She did provide me a signed copy of a safety letter. I am going to scan it and make copies. One thing we talked about is my wife. Saturday night, she asked me what I was doing, that me transitioning was affecting her psychologically and that she was having difficulty focusing and burying herself in her volunteer work. Gave her an update and she said that this is a rollercoaster ride she doesn't want to be on. That she didn't signup for this. I told her that I know, that I didn't expect her to stay with me and that I loved her. She said that she doesn't want to be married to a woman. I totally understand that. But it doesn't sound good. Later she said that she wants me to be happy and that we will figure it out. I also approached her about dressing in front of her. She called it a nail in the coffin of our marriage. I glad she is honest with me and speaks her mind. But I walked away thinking that we are pretty much done. At this point, I will move forward but it will be about not making her angry so that we can work together.

Good morning everyone! I spent some time this past weekend thinking about my "next steps." I've exhausted (I think) most of the subtle steps that I can take, I get the feeling that whatever I do next in terms of transition will be quite noticeable, which prompted me to wonder how ready I am for that. Wondering how ready I am made me then wonder whether it was fear holding me back a little (answer = yes). It helped a little (a lot) that I sat down at one point and wrote out a list of what I see as all of the steps that would happen if I transitioned fully (including hormones and surgery), that helped me see what things I can be doing now (working on my voice leapt to the fore). But then the fear. What am I afraid of? One possibility is the fear that this isn't really the right thing for me (that's a fear that pops up from time to time). While that's a legitimate consideration, I also know that I fear the idea of continuing to live my life as a male. And I know that the only way to address that fear is to continue moving forward. If it's true that this isn't the right path for me that will eventually come through. More likely is that my fear is based on "looking silly." More specifically that I'll look like a man dressing as a woman. I've read much about the idea of "passing" and the pros and cons, and I fully understand and in principle agree with the idea that we shouldn't necessarily be going for that (that a "man" should be able to wear whatever they want), but for me, right now, I want people to accept me as a woman and so I consider it important that my appearance not contradict that. It's probably enough for now if my "look" (hair, face, etc.) is androgynous, that at least wouldn't contradict how I'm dressed. The problem with achieving that is that when I look in the mirror I just see me, I don't know if I can objectively tell if I look female, male, or androgynous. I was told by a couple of people at work last week that I definitely look more female than I used to, so that's a good start. Fear is the other thing, and that won't really be resolved until I do go out in public dressed clearly female (but without the wig and full make-up that I've done when cross-dressing). Over the past couple of years I went through a lengthy period when I found that if I kind of wanted to do something but it scared me, I had to do it (e.g., cross-dressing in public, taking an improv class, doing drag, taking a solo show class - which culminated in a 6-minute solo piece in front of an actual audience). I look at that period now as my way of building up to overcoming this fear - in this case not something that I "kind of want" to do, but something I must do. With my wardrobe almost fully in place, and final exams at work ending this week, I'm now committed to dressing full-time as a woman starting next Monday (it will also happen most of this week). Thanks for listening xoxo Christie