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In my elementary school days there was a bully who would tease me, "hey sissy" or "hey little girl" to no end. When one day a new boy came to class and while walking home the bully started on me and the new boy intervened by knocking the bully on his butt. I remained really good friends with the new kid until several years after high school then reconnected with him on Facebook several years ago. I started counting down the days to GRS but would only post on Facebook that I was heading to California for surgery. He asked (on Facebook) what I was going in for? I said (get this) nothing major and left it at that. I forget when but I changed my name and gender on Facebook say in February. Did not hear a peep from him in regards to direct communications. Yesterday he posted a video about a senior citizen shooting at a criminal and I responded. He then said, "How is Kevin doing?" I said he is decease then he asked when. So I told him Kevin died and Karen was born. He could not believe it and thought I may have hijacked Kevin's account so he asked me three questions that I should know from 40 years ago, answered them and he was then convinced. He said I should call sometime to caught up on things and I told him I will be there in the Spring. So while this is going on another friend of mine (and his) must had missed out on my transition because he went through my photos and "liked" one of them. Any ways I find it interesting that these two friends did not caught on and I even wrote a post on my gender change, In regards to the picture, this is how he sees me and is me at a local shooting range I believe back in 2007 doing my Clint type of look, bad ass. For the record there is a full size 1911 pistol on my hip and a revolver in my left front pocket in a pocket holster and a pistol on my right ankle. Okay, I hear your wheels churning in your heads so a little explanation is in order for newcomers. I did executive protection for 10 years, was on call for this, worked with local PD and taught self-defense for 13 years. Have been at both ends of the muzzle of a firearm and survived but can not say that for the bad guys. I tend not to discuss this too much as this is one thing I lost when I transitioned and hope someday to regain at least the teaching part. This was a hot day, had body armour under my shirt.

In regards to the unpleasant surprise, get use to it girl, it's a brave new world you have stepped into. I get this all the time and have learned to deal with it be it not looking in their direction or if in conversation drop at hint that I have a significant other at home.

Dear Christie and Charli, Here are some resources that I recommend for free/inexpensive activities in NYC: http://www.nyc-arts.org http://www.events12.com/newyork/august/ http://www.timeout.com/newyork/events-calendar http://www.nycinsiderguide.com http://www.nycgo.com/free http://www.newyork.com/articles/attractions/free-things-to-do-in-nyc-in-summer-2015-65512/ http://www.clubfreetime.com/new-york-city-nyc/free-events-things-to-do/today/activities http://www.timessquarenyc.org/events/index.aspx#.VcpeRvlViko http://www.newyorkpass.com/For-Free http://www.nyc-arts.org/collections/35/free-museum-days-or-pay-what-you-wish Highly recommend the US $80.00 pass, as it will allow you to get past lines. In NYC, because of the crowds, your TIME IS MONEY, so don't think waiting in long lines for a "free" event will save you money . . . because some "free" events are on your NYC pass, but the advantage will be that you will go to the head of the line. Will get you the website for Air bnb, because the hotels in NYC are PROHIBITIVE! The owners of Air bnb are very knowledgeable about the city, and they will help you plan your days to make the most of them. Will write again soon with information about air bnb. Yours truly, Monica

Oh wow, that's some really cool information and very much appreciated. I'm a consumate planner so that gives me plenty of things to try and squeeze in. Will keep you posted on how things progress take care xoxo

Charli, Hiya Love. Your Photography, Sweetheart, is Outstanding. Your Eye For Interesting Architecture and Building's, is second to none ! You Are A Lovely Person Charli, and I look forward to seeing More of Your Wonderful Photography, Very Soon. Charli, Take Care, And Best Wishes To You Too ! Regards, Stephanie. xoxo

Monica I get all the support from friends. But ask some of them, they'll say we family. CIS African males, none the less. I'm just the quirky sister with a lighter skin. I've got a limited amount of TLGB family AMD the support is overwhelming at times, but we manage to survive. I've got a friend that wants to marry me off to her brother. You'll enjoy the next entry I'm going to post now, Massage gone flustered

Dear Christi and Charli, As promised, the website for Air bnb is: https://www.airbnb.com/s/New-York--NY The website looked really good, worth checking out! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Charli, Also am fascinated by lighting. Loved visiting lighting stores in Brooklyn and Manhattan. The autistic man I cared for was also into lighting, so he gave me a great excuse to visit all kinds of lighting stores, when he got away from me and I had to go looking for him. The managers of lighting stores were ALWAYS very kind in helping me find him, and I gave them my name, phone and address to all of them, because I did not want them to call the police to find his family (me). Thanks to him, I got to know many lighting stores in Manhattan and Brooklyn! By the way, the police in both Florida and NYC were very good about helping me find him, although I was lucky enough to beat them to it almost every time! LOL! Yours truly, Monica

We have got our divorce and I got full custody of our kids and I still pursued her for almost there years after our divorce because I still loved her with all my heart and was there for her every time she needed me but I guess it wasn't in God's plan because he was ready for me to be something greater at first I thought that was being a better father but as time passed I knew that I could use some inprovment as a father I knew that was not it and I hate to sound self-centered but I have always been there for my kids and I have gave them everything I did not have as a kid they do come before anything and anyone including myself every breath I take is for them. But back to the story I knew god was ready for me to be a woman and I understand that now . I have never been as happy as I am now and as doing so it has made me a better person and father well you could say women now and my kids are so supportive of me and my parents are to and some of my friends are too Well at first they did not know how to take it but they are starting to come around and more open about the idea of me being a woman I know mom loves it because I help her more in the kitchen and doing other girl stuff especially my daughter we have never been as close as we are now even though she has always been a daddy's - new mommas girl and don't take me wrong either when I say mommas girl either because I don't ever ever ever take her mom's place but it is sad when my daughter tells me that I'm the only one that does makeup and paint nails and all the other fun girl stuff we do together and her mot won't and as for my two boys I still love to get down on some Xbox 360 and going fishing, camping, and all the other outdoor activities with them to so I guess the moral of this story is don't be afraid to be yourself. If being different means not being normal then I'm glad I'm not normal as long as I have my kids I don't care what other people think about me if I don't like what they say then I don't have to listen like I said as long as I have the air in my lungs and my kids nothing else matters because when it comes time to stand in front of God he will be judging them and the I will have the last laugh. And remember people it don't matter if your Transgender, gay lesbian, straight as long as you are happy with yourself it don't matter what other people think you choose to let it get to you and you are not alone their are people out there that do care if not I would not be writing on this blog so love you all and look up don't let the trash talkers get to you keep thinking positive.

Charli, I love the photograph of the "I Heart NYC" T-Shirts. Only in NYC have I seen the RESIDENTS wear such shirts and accessories, where in OTHER cities, only TOURISTS wear such items! LOL!!

Monica, Thanks for that info - though since I live here I probably won't have need for AirBNB xoxo Christie

Charli, Hiya Love. It Looks Like You Are Falling For New York, In A Big Way ! L.O.L. When are You Visiting N.Y., then Charli ? I Am in the UK, and I have never been to the U.S.A. You Never Know. One Day Maybe ! I Am sure You will enjoy "The Big Apple", when You get there ! There Will Be Lots That You will be Able to Photograph, Charli Love. Speak Soon, Take Care, Best Wishes, Steph. xoxo

Dear Samantha, Don't know if you have brothers and sisters, but it sounds like that you have become the daughter that your mother never had. Am sorry about the loss of your wife, but you will find friends here and in your face to face life. There ARE open minded women, both in and out of the TLGB community. On our home page, when you click on "resources," on the top tool bar, a drop down will show you where to click to find transgender support groups near where you live, many no more than a couple of hours drive away. As for your kids, if you have been a good father, chances are you will be a good mother! Yours truly, Monica

Hiya Christie Love. I Love Your Expression -,"Tranniversary"! That is a Lovely Description Darling. The idea of Joining A Self-Defence Class, I would say is Very Sensible. One thing I was going to ask You Darling, is, Do You carry A Rape/Personal Attack Alarm ?,If You Don't, I suggest it might be an idea ! I actually have 3, the first of which, was supplied by Our local Police Station, and the other two, were bought from a local pound store. You are Very Positive Christie Darling, in Your Femininity, and That is Brilliant Honey ! I Personally Love Being Feminine. I feel more Feminine Every single day, Now. I Love wearing Skirt's Darling. I Am Not phased at all, going out in Public, Properly-Dressed ! One Transsexual Friend of Mine, Teasing Me, asked Me the Other Day, (Face-To-Face), if I Cross-Dress ? My Answer to Her, Was :,"No, I Don't Wear Male Clothes" ! We were Both I'm fits of Laughter. She, and Her Girlfriend (G.G.), are Both, so Very Pretty ! With reference to the Guy at the Garage, Do speak with His Boss, if No joy, then consider contacting the Local Police. Christie Darling, Speak Soon Babe. Please Take Care of Yourself. Best Wishes, Regards, Stephanie. xoxo

If you're interested in a trans meet-up, there's one that meets at the Stonewall every Thursday night at 7:30 p.m. (then moves across the street to the Monster at around 8:30). We play pool, chat, etc. And if you're here on August 25 you could come see me do drag :-)

I really never expected this. When I first started out in this journey I told myself that I didn't care what I looked like in the end. I didn't care if people always saw me as a man who wants to be a woman. At least I would be honest. At least I was being me. I could finally let go of the pain of lying and projecting myself as male that I held onto for so long like some kind of comfort blanket... made of rabid raccoons - That kept me safe... in an emotionally scarring sort of way. "I keep telling you, nothing's wrong - I always look this intense." For a long time that was the truth. Some days were better than others in the beginning. Some days I felt I passed and other days I felt like people could see right through my wig and my makeup for the drag queen that I was. As time went on and the hormones took their toll on my face and body I actually started to feel less passable. It felt awkward but at least it still felt right. Looking back on it, the looks everybody gave me probably weren't them saying to themselves, "what a freak," like I thought they were - it was probably them being genuinely curious about my gender. "Why yes! This is my natural colour!" Looking back on a journal entry from early in my transition I remember myself stating that I wasn't sure about going all the way - that being androgynous would be enough. Funny that when I finally made it there it felt so wrong. Fear is a strong thing and I think that was my way of coping with the fact that I might not have been able to look like a woman - coupled with the fact that for a while I wasn't able to unsee my male self when I looked in the mirror. When people looked at me funny, curious about my existence, I just wanted them to see me as another girl in the street. My hair had gotten long enough (and thick enough) and I was so sick of the uncomfortable wigs that I stopped wearing them. I started to look not really one gender, not yet the other. "Just guess what you're looking at. No pressure!" Recently I was beginning to notice that the attention was waning. Something in me started to panic. Maybe it's because I had gotten used to people's stares, I'd gotten used to room full of people who would take turns staring at me until it seemed like everyone had done it at least once. I didn't even realize that people stopped looking because they no longer register me as anything other than... female. Wrapping my head around this is a little weird! Maybe it's because I thought it would never happen and for a while my inferiority complex (still lingering from trying to live as a man) wouldn't let me believe that I was being seen as a woman. The only time looks linger now is because they think I'm cute! The smiles people give me aren't sinister - they're genuine. New people don't do the double-take that they once did when I walked up to them. Chatting in a cafe just today when I brought up anything trans related my friend would lean in and whisper as though no one else in the coffee shop needed to know. It was our little secret and she looked so excited for me! "Why yes, I would like to show more leg!" Now I need to decide what to do with this. Two years ago I told myself that I would move out of town, change my name and start a new life if I was ever able to go stealth. But with all the support and new friends I've made I can see that was a decision made purely out of fear. I've already decided that being passable is going to work a lot to my advantage but in my career and in my life I really want to get into trans support and trans rights. Why vanish when I could do much more by being visible? Apparently being passable is helpful in that regard and while I don't think that's right on society's part I want to do what I can to change the general public's viewpoint. Somehow. Slowly, surely. Let's see what happens now.