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After a good day of relaxing and playing music, yesterday was our trans discussion group's monthly outing to a restaurant (my first time going). I decided I would wear my favorite jeans, harley boots, a really cool long sleeve long dark green top and new dream catcher necklace I purchased at the same store as the top. I wore makeup, packed my money, phone and cards in my new wallet, a nice pink Michael Kors clutch with wrist band, and take the bus. I had a one hour ride to downtown, a 14 minute wait and a short ride to my destination which was a decent Greek restaurant. This was my second time going out dressed and wearing makeup and since I'm not yet on HRT, I am not passable at all....and I don't really care. The first ride was very uneventful and when I got downtown, I waited in a glass bus stop along with a very pretty and tall black woman. Since this was right downtown Gatineau (across the river from Ottawa) and the area has a multitude of bars and night spots, there were a lot of people walking around and I was curious to see how many times I would be noticed and looked at twice. Aside from a couple of people staring a bit and an elderly lady giving me the "evil eye" (I just smiled back!), it was a lot less eventful than I would have previously imagined. The lady at the bus stop even sat beside me and complimented me on my nails which was really cool! I met my friends, a group of MTF's and FTM's and had a great meal and even better conversation. After the meal, we decided to head to a new chocolate/ice cream place which recently opened and when we got there ...wow! The place was packed with a lineup about 40 feet out the door. We waited in line and it was really worth it...great ice cream of all kinds with a selection of about 12 different kinds of chocolate dips! All 8 of us stood out on the patio and talked for at least an hour before heading back...it was awesome! This was really my first time heading out into the "unknown" being my true self and it felt exhilarating! A couple of times I noticed some weird looks and stares but the feeling of being out as myself with people just like me and their friends out weighed any issue others might have with me...that belongs to THEM, not me! A friend from the group gave me a ride home and I slept soooo well! This morning when I got up I had this crazy craving for steak and eggs! I had the steak but not the eggs so I put on a pair of shorts, t-shirt and headed to the convenience store I've been going to for many years. I still had on the nail polish as I usually keep it on during weekends and when I'm not working. When I walked in I was curious to see if the cashier, who is a friendly woman in her 20's, would notice or say anything. I got the eggs, went to pay and after waiting for the only other customer to finish paying, she noticed my nails and immediately said: "Oh wow, nice nails!!" to which I replied "thanks...I like the color and don't care what people think..". She replied: "That's great, let your girl have some fun!" The steak and eggs tasted great....I think I'll have a good sleep again tonight... Roxanne

It's so nice to hear of positive occurrences, and even nicer to hear that they are not limited to one place or country, it seems to me to be most of the English speaking world along with northern Europe, I'm not sure about Southern Europe. How public attitudes have changed over the last couple of years, I feel very lucky to have transitioned when I did. I can only conclude that the showing of many documentaries about the subject, most recently showing famous people going through transtition, who previously were extremely male, and heterosexual as far as could be deduced, such as Kellie Maloney and Caitlin Jenner has really alerted the public to examine their attitudes toward transgender, dispelling the myths that we're all gay, weak and former sissy boys. Quite the contrary with ex-army captains having been previously televised, and now we have a serving army captain and an RAF helicopter pilot who are transgendered, I'm so grateful to all these individuals for having had the courage to stand up and do what they have done. Cheers, Eve

Hiya Roxanne. Good on You Sweetheart. I Am in the UK, and Live approximately 51 Miles, North-West of London. Almost 2 Week's Ago, I went on the Train to London, ( On My Own ), and having been Fully, Full-Time, Female-Dressed, and Living, since 1st. May, 2015, I was Dressed Quite Nicely, including Wearing My Favourite Long Black Skirt. I was Wolf-Whistled, by a Builder, working on a shop in Central London, ( Which was the Very First Time That Has Happened ), L.O.L. !! I was well-chuffed ! I Am Quite Happy out in Public anyway, as I have been going out, up to the Local Town, most Day's, since I Came-Out as Transsexual. But, I Am Happy, and A lot more confident than I was the first time, although I was only slightly nervous the first time. Roxanne, Your Confidence will Grow, More and More, Each time You Go Out. Enjoy It. I Do ! Getting on Buses, or Trains, or even Taxi's,, I Am Happy Doing, and You will too ! Roxanne, as long as We are true to ourselves, We will Be Happy ! Take Care Roxanne,, and Very Best Wishes, Stephanie.

Monica, no help needed here and no cry for help Never been abused or gang raped and no denials what-so-ever. I figured someone might think this but has no truth. Lastly, this will never happen again.

Dear Roxanne, Steph and Eve, Absolutely LOVE ice cream and chocolate. Never heard of different kinds of chocolate toppings! Am so glad you ladies are getting out and about. Would love to spend time with all three of you! Your friend, Monica

Be forewarned what follows is sexually explicit and there is no need to warn me about what I did as I am an adult and know the risk. The intent here is for others to learn from my mistakes, nothing more nothing less. I take no pride in what follows and hope others will learn from this. So Friday I was feeling frisky but not enough to act out on these feelings as I was comfy at home. So I used my toy and pleasured myself early evening and throughout the night the sensations lingered, went to bed and was a pleasant sleep. Woke up Saturday morning and read something that got me a little excited so I decided to use my toy while dilating. Next thing I know it’s an hour later, did not want to stop but did. I am now thinking I need to find a man as I am about to go crazy needing something more than my toy. I have several men whom I have sexual encounters with, none were available yesterday morning, not until later in the evening. Well I needed it now and then. So I have been in the past to an adult club where I have hooked up with one man several times and was hoping he would be there. Did not get dressed up sexy, never do, they see me coming and the penises stand in salute. So I sit down in a room playing porn. The man I was seeking was not there. Figured since I just paid ten bucks to get in I would sit back and play with myself and maybe the man might come in later. It took all but two minutes and I was surrounded by a group of men with their penises out. One was very polite and asked if he could touch me. I nodded and he proceeded to caress me which felt good. After a while he wanted to get inside of me and I acknowledge his intent and he put on a condom. He tried several times to enter me but failed then turned to another man stoking away and said (I think) “do you want this”, he nodded yes and I nodded yes. He put on a condom and tried to enter me but could not. Then as I see it this is funny, he gets between my legs and strokes his penis against my belly and after about 30 seconds let’s out a moan, turns and the first man asked if he had orgasm and nodded yes. All this time a man next to me was attempting to shove his penis into my mouth and I must have refused a dozen times. Along comes a younger man, built extremely well, he does everything right before entering me and has zero issues and lasted at least ten minutes. When leaving the place I was not in a very good mood even though I finally got what I was after it was not enjoyable in that I had to go through two pigs to get what I wanted and decided no matter how aroused I get will never, ever go back to such a place. Guess what, my urge is back today and I am keeping my legs closed. What I now wonder is how cisgender woman deal with this when they get aroused and a play toy is not enough. I doubt they run off to an adult arcade to get satisfaction.

Dear Karen, Applaud your courage on sharing such a personal story. Here's my take on it, as a cisgender female who is also a Lesbian. Please keep in mind I am 57 years old, (born January 19, 1958) and that my mother was 42 and my father 41 when I was born (your point of view is not only determined by how old you are, but also how old your parents were when you were born). Also, my parents had conservative European backgrounds. In light that one out of four boys and one out of four girls were molested by age 18, this looks like a re-enactment of a gang rape situation. Also promiscuity is an adult symptom of an adult survivor of child molestation. These issues often do not show up until adulthood. Please keep in mind I am not trained psychotherapist or counselor, and because of this, I strongly recommend you seek professional help to sort all this out. See this as a cry out for help. Please do not put yourself into further danger. Your friend, Monica

Doesnt matter if I respond or not, we've blocked eachother lol like I said, I have no contact with my family. And my friend defriended and blocked her as well so that whatever we share between eachother does not get viewed by my bio-family. I'm over them. I dont need people like that in my life. The people I need are supportive and loving, and that's what I have. I dont need blood ties to appreciate my new family.

And I truly wonder about myself and the future, will I be able to resist such feelings and make do with a toy? I do worry about that, and how it might affect my wonderful wife (now termed as partner), I've mentioned before the conundrum that is going through my brain, I think as a comment in one of your earlier postings Karen, I often fantasise about penises but I don't think that I could cope (without throwing up) with the useless flesh around the penis called man, thowing up? yes it'd make me sick I'm sure. But will this change after GRS? There have been so many changes already that I can't be sure what the future holds for me......................... One things for sure though as Steph has said you're only human, (even if you're a 007 clone! LoL - no!, more like a bond girl now with your weapons stashed about you!) and I'd hate to think that you're going to continue to beat yourself up over this episode. You know what I'd probably have done the same anyway and risked all, I'm so impulsive and I will sieze the moment.................. God (if you're a believer) bless you Eve x

Hiya Warren. I think You have done exactly the right thing Young Man. As hard as it might sound, I don't think that blood is always thicker than water, when it comes to Families. Warren, I don't know if You saw what I put, on Saturday, about My Own Family, but, most of them, are just Not worth knowing, Full-Stop ! Warren, You, ARE Among Friends here, and We won't Judge You. I Am a Pre-Op. MtoF Transsexual Myself, so Who would I be, to Judge other People ? Warren, if ever You Want a Chat, I Am About on here, a lot of the time. Monica is about a lot as well, so there will always be someone Who cares about You ! By the Way Warren, I did like the Blue Hair ! I Am 53, and My Hair, is still Naturally Dark Brown. But, I Will Grow Old "Disgracefully" ! L.O.L. !!!! Warren, Take Care Young Man. Speak Soon. With Very Best Wishes, Stephie. xoxo

Hiya Monica. With Sign's Like Those - Family, What Family ? Monica Sweetheart, You are A Lovely, Kind-Hearted Lass. They Do NOT Deserve You, Anyway ! You Know that You are amongst Friend's Here. I Would Be Proud to have You as a Sister ! You Take Care Monica. With Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. xx

Hiya Karen. Sweetheart, You are Only Human. It Is just a Pity, You had to go through All the Nonsense, with The two idiot's. To call them Pigs is insulting Pigs ! L.O.L. It just goes to show, that You most certainly are Female. It would be really nice, if You found Someone, You could really fall in Love with, Someone Who You Could Enjoy making Love with. I Hope that I Haven't Offended or Upset You with The Comment, but I would Not like You to get into a Bad Place ! Karen, I have So Much Respect for You, and I Really do wish Only Good Things For You. Take Care Love. Best Wishes, Stephanie. xoxo