Leaderboard

One of my friends on Facebook shared a link where transgender people are sharing their stories. So I decided too and found it difficult to confined the story to 400 words but finally did. Once approved I will post a link back here. Anyways I am committed to this and spreading the word especially to those over 50, and older that it's possible to do this. http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/projects/storywall/transgender-today

Dear Kourtney, Home is where peace should reign. May your home soon find peace, and once found, may you guard it well! Your friend, Monica

To be blunt, the norm is wives can't bare their husband "in transition" but may tolerate it. Then comes transitioning, it takes a very special connection between a man and woman for a marriage to survive full transition from male to female. You have to place yourself into their shoes knowing nothing about gender dysphoria, answer the question now in how you would respond to this then even when truthful to yourself take it down a notch because even when truthful there will be parts of your brain that still subconsciously relates to being transgender and will undoubtedly will side with "I can at least try". Sorry to be blunt and to the point but this is how things happen to the average couple. With that said I hope somehow the both of you can work things out but be realistic going in to the struggle as it is a struggle and in one sense of the word war. As my doctor said after I went for a visit after GRS, what you (me) have done is one of the most difficult things a human being can do. My doctor is 20 years post op and is very insightful in these matters. Talk to a therapist and more likely than not will either straight forward or beat around the bush what I said is the norm. So as you indicated you can not go back to a male identity do your best to keep the fighting down, make concessions that may hurt to do but perhaps this might help as you move forward. Best wishes as you move forward

I had to rush to get dressed and made up in time for the meeting. My wife was kind enough to help out here and there and soon I was in the car on my way to the meeting. I got there just in time. One of the girls were quite rude as I greated her. I can never understand why people feel the need to be mean to newbies. I ignored her obvious attempt at establishing her superiority and joined the rest of the group inside. My overdressed outfit made an impression, and I felt comfortable. We spoke about comming out to family members and lovers. The group was diverse with gay men, lesbian lovers and a female to male transgender to full in all the combinations. The main problem in relationships are the expectations that change once a transgendered person comes out. Parents will grieve and lovers will need to come to grips with facing the reality of loveing that person in another gender. In the end love will conquer all. Personally I feel like my home has turned into a war zone. My wife is having a difficult time understanding and with my emotions all over the place thanks to the hormones we fight almost daily. I showed her the definition of gender dysphoria and that seemed to have cleared things up a bit, but I fear we are still drifting apart as I nolonger look, feel and smell like the man she once felt attracted to. I can only hope that things will work out as I can't go back to living as a male. My ability to pretend has forever been broken. Even as I think of going back to my old life I see a thick black hole of dred and depression so I have no choice but to move forward.

The newer Camaro is far from a poor man's sports car unlike years ago but unsure of the newer one's performance. Any ways I needed something small, compact, has all the neat features (this morning I learned it tells me if I am driving over the speed limit) and it does.

Hiya Bianca/Kourtney. Sweetheart, Sadly the fighting, even verbally, is Awful. Honey, I Know. I Am Pre-Op, MtoF Transsexual, and I Came-Out, on 30th. April, 2015. My Wife "Hates Me". The thing is, that She is having Sexual Relationship's, with Several Different Women, but, She does Not see that, as Cheating on Our Marriage. The Verbal, and Physical Abuse, and Violence, that I have Suffered, mean that I will carry the scarring on Both My Lower-Eye-Lid's, and on Both My Arm's, for Life ! Bianca, I Am going for Legal Advice, this coming week, as We also have a violent Special-Needs Child, Who keeps on attacking Me. I no longer feel safe at Home ! Please Bianca, if You are in Anywhere near a similar sort of thing, Please sort it out ! Being Transsexual, and being fully "Out" including being fully "Out" in Public, is something that has made Me really Happy ! With everything that is going on in My Life, it is Not going to dent My Happiness. Bianca, Look After Yourself, Take Care, and, My Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. xx

(Because this is too long to get to the point, I added the end at the top, and the rest can be considered background information. Sorry it's all over the place) Basically, the reason for this post, yesterday my mom wanted to go out for dinner. She told me to be there for three so we could have an early dinner. By six, we still hadn't left for the restaurant, and at 6:30 my sister, bro in law and niece show up, for dinner too. Unexpected by me. By 8, we still hadn't left for the restaurant because they had a late lunch and weren't hungry yet. I am done with them, and their BS. I have tried to let go of all the negative memories from the past but I don't know how. And every time I see my family, I feel so drained and upset for days afterwards. I feel like I keep having the same discussions with them, and they change for a bit, but then it gets back to where it is just the same as when I was 10. ------------------------------------- My whole family exists of three people: Grandma (who lives a few hours away), Mom and Sister (who is married and has a daughter). My dad died 4 years ago, and he was the glue that held us all together as a unit. When I was a kid, my mom was pretty crazy, throwing things at people for no reason, beating all of us, name calling. I am pleased to say she has mellowed out now with her crazy antics. My sister and I were never close. I always looked up to her, but she never wanted me around. She always belittled me, embarrassed me, beat me. As adults, we rarely talk. My sister still refuses to call me by my new name because it's "not legal" and sees nothing wrong with that. This was a few months ago, and I told her I wanted nothing to do with her until she apologized. Before my dad died, my parents, sister and brother in law would always go to ball games, go on "family vacations" and always had BBQ's. I would never receive a call asking to join them in anything. I would always hear about all the fun they've had together at Birthdays or holidays, or those rare times I was actually invited over. All of the birthday and holiday plans are planned around my sister and brother in law family schedules, and mine aren't even considered. I work with a different schedule every week, and that makes it difficult to plan things. Especially when I go out of my way to make sure I have the Monday off then all of a sudden, the in laws need to have that day, so family plans get cancelled, and I don't get to go after all. Or travelling with the baby is so inconvenient, but then they do anyway. Or the bro in law has a sports game he needs to watch/attend or play. The next "story" is one example of many similar situations. The Thanksgiving when I was in 10th grade, my brother in law's mom invited my parents to their house for dinner. My mom just said, "we've been invited to go, so you have to come up for something on your own." A few hours later his mom called me and asked if I wanted to join them, as she didn't realize I was by myself. I came out to my family as trans shortly before my dad died. Mom and Sister have a hard time respecting my trans identity, they keep up the tradition of excluding me in planned "fun" things. We even made a plan to show up at the funeral home to view my dad as a family, and when I showed up 30 minutes early (to be sure I wouldn't be late), they were already in there. Two years ago, I had enough and completely cut them out of my life. Mostly, I just didn't answer the phone or show up for my mom's birthday, my birthday or Christmas. My mom had called me after midnight sometime in January and I told her how terrible I felt with the way they treated me. I got a lot of stuff off my chest. She "didn't remember" the bad things she did when I was a child. In fact she called me a "little prick for lying" The next week, she had a heart attack, and me being me, I showed up to the hospital for support. My mom and I made a plan to start fresh. I thought it was going pretty well too. I made a post here about when Caitlyn Jenner came out and her interview, and my moms reaction. Things started to look up. My mom has this thing where she will make plans with me to visit Grandma, but then cancel them for my sister. Mom doesn't drive the freeways, so she would need to be driven. She has made multiple plans to come to me, then I drive the 2 hour drive. We have never actually done it, because she tells my sister, then all of a sudden, sister is driving. Sister has no room in her car because of the baby seat. Did I mention, I don't have a car, so I can't get to see Grandma as much as I would love to. The last time this happened the bro in law had a baseball game on the day mom and I planned to go, and because of that they switched days completely, and my mom didn't want to go two days in a row (which I understand that), I blew up and told her I had enough of them dictating the dates of these events, especially since we already had plans. Basically, the reason for this post, yesterday my mom wanted to go out for dinner. She told me to be there for three so we could have an early dinner. By six, we still hadn't left for the restaurant, and at 6:30 my sister, bro in law and niece show up, for dinner too. Unexpected by me. By 8, we still hadn't left for the restaurant because they had a late lunch and weren't hungry yet. I am done with them, and their BS. I have tried to let go of all the negative memories from the past but I don't know how. And every time I see my family, I feel so drained and upset for days afterwards. I feel like I keep having the same discussions with them, and they change for a bit, but then it gets back to where it is just the same as when I was 10.