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Hi steph. Thank you for your comment! yes i am feeling so much better and im so glad you liked this video. Yes that was a new top from boohoo, really love it! So happy to hear you are clean to xx yes your right we all have past! but lets not re live those mistakes. Kind regrds -Blair jamie

Dear SteamBelle, Thank you for writing, you came to the right place. If it helps, I know these feelings all too well. Twice in the last year I've called both the Transgender Suicide Hotline (http://www.translifeline.org) and my therapist. You're right, they won't fix everything, but they do provide a safe place to vent out loud, which is a heck of wonderful benefit. I don't want to come off all preachy and know-it-all, I don't want to push you away. So I am not sure what to write. All I can say is keep trying, keep talking, keep getting to know and accept yourself. It's a long road and it's unfair how much it can suck at times. I've had these TG feelings and envies since I was maybe three or four, and carried the shame of it from about that same time when I realized how "wrong" it seemed to be. I lived a lie, hiding my feelings, terrified that they would come out, went through one marriage and almost a second. Lots of therapists and so forth, but even there my shame was so deep I had trouble sharing with them (man or woman, I've tried both) my deepest and truest feelings. The good news is that in the past two years I have, for the first time, completely come out to my therapist and later, to my wife. God, that was tough. The therapist is terrific - we connected and he's utterly supportive and considerate. My wife: also supportive, but also very conflicted about what I told her. Thankfully, she gave me the space to really dive in and explore myself, which I did, and which was hard enough in itself. I sit here today feeling a lot better in my skin, and thoughts of suicide do sometimes return, although fleetingly, as having carried such crap for so long it's like an automatic go-to thinking pattern. I just wanted to share with you that I, like most others here at TGG, have and are going through similar stuff. You're among friends and I hope you will take advantage of the wonderful people here, and most important, reach out to others. If you can afford it, find a therapist and talk it out. It's hard and takes a long time and investment to find the one that works for you, but you're worth it. Hugs, Emma

New intro plus what it was like before Blair Jamie. I open up about my drug addiction to ice and my self harm issues. Take a look

Hiya Blair Jamie. Eve is right, about how confident You now look on Your latest video. Your are right Sweetheart about Not re-living Our Past Mistakes. One other stupid, and silly mistake that I made, having Asthma, was to smoke, from just before the Age of 9, until just after I turned the Age of 42. I will be 54, just before Christmas, and 3rd. January, will see Me as an ex-smoker, for 12 Year's, and I will never, ever, smoke again either. My only vice now, is that when I go out on Friday Night's, I do like to drink a few White Wine and Lemonade's. ( I Am a typical Female really ! ). Blair Jamie, I look forward to Your Next Blog Honey. Keep Smiling, Take Care, and My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xx

Hey Blair, That's a good video, look at how much more confident you are now compared to the first one that I saw. I couldn't see any nervousness, I didn't even notice if you played with your hair, and I could hear all that you said quite clearly, Liked the karaoke bit at the end too. Hugs Eve