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I'm glad I make your world okay the way you right mine when it's all spiraling around me and I can't handle it. And I'm glad you like the boobs. I'm a little weirded out yeah, they aren't what I was expecting, which was something more like...silicone and soft and the plastic on the outside confuses me texturally and if it's a shipping thing or an actual casing. But I'm getting used to it and willing to keep poking at it. So be my kitten on days you need to, and days you just want to, and be my dinosaur on days you need to, and days you just want to. I'm good with this. We're good together. But um....at some point I'm going to stop feeling like this thing you got me for my bra issues is going to stop feeling like a piece of meat stuffed in my bra yeah? Because that is weirding me out big time.

So my breasts arrived today. Well the breastforms. I ended up getting the 1800g Motawator Silicone Breast Forms as they fit the bras I have access to and they looked like they'd be a good size for my frame and they are really fantastic.I am a little worried that it looks like I have constantly erect nipples but I'm sure I can cover those later if I go out. The weight is really good and while the water balloons I'd been using were ok, these are a lot better at giving me the feeling I was looking for when I'd put on a bra and stuff it. My Bree really spoils me. So here I am sitting in the bra I fixed, my breastforms, a turtleneck and a jumper and feeling very much in girl mode. It's exciting and I'm riding an emotional high right now. There was a little bit of intimacy between Bree and I and I think she's a little weirded out by them at the moment but she was at least curious, so that could be fun later. Sitting here with my own breasts hanging off of me has me thinking again about what I was talking about with Bree this morning. Part of why this had been quiet for so long until my depression kicked it up again, which isn't Bree's fault at all, but she's always made me feel wanted and makes me look at myself differently than I feel. I think that's the big reason I"M so comfortable talking about this with her now and letting her see me in girl mode and working with me in girl mode. She makes it more ok in my mind to be whatever I am at the moment and just make me feel better about being me. When she and I spent so much time talking through my feelings and thoughts and what we both were kind of expecting ultimately out of all this, it really kind of solidified a number of things and while I do honestly feel like I need to be a girl/woman some days and back in boy mode on others, even if it's just a little bit of dress up Bree makes this whole situation feel perfectly fine in my head. I really do feel like this makes everything that was screaming in my head over this quiet. Bree and I worked through some of the scales out there and I definitely feel mostly fit within the TV side with a few things that drift here and there. The depression has been extremely quiet and I've been feeling better mentally and emotionally these past few days than I have in a very long time. I've definitely got a lot to talk about with the counselor when I finally get to see her. Still a lot to work through, but at least this feels headed in the right direction.

Depression sucks, Nikki, I know it well. I'd expected that coming out as TG would resolve it all but found that like so many things it's like peeling back the onion. There's more stuff inside. The good news for me is that at least the outer layers are, finally (after goodness, more than fifty five years!), peeled back. Take care of yourself, wade in, and allow it all to wash over you slowly and at your own pace. There is no rush. Bree, I fully understand your feelings about bras and breast forms. Why not? I can't really imagine what it's like for you of course, but then again, I think I do. Like Nikki, take it easy and at YOUR own pace. You're fully involved with your own feelings which are also perfectly valid. It's so beautiful and admirable about how you're both growing together. Warm hugs, Emma

Hmm, I am no expert. I bought mine at Carla's Boutique in San Jose, CA. The owner Aejia (pronounced Asia) would be happy to help over the phone and does biz over the web, too. Pls mention I sent you. At least she could give you more expert advice! I do like mine fine. They feel good on, although they do feel kind of firm, firmer than real breasts. Maybe that's necessary to hold their shape since after all they aren't attached to the chest, just held in place by a bra. Regardless I'm glad to hear Nikki is enjoying hers. I can't imagine using water balloons. :-) Emma

kittennikki (i kind of like nikkikitten, too), it's getting late, but just wanted to say how great it is to hear both your experiences with each other and the dialog between the two of you.

Emma, I think I'm actually weirded out worse by the evener he put on me. It feels really like I put a piece of meat in a biggie on. Our doctor was impressed at how much effort I put into reading what the counselor we picked is experienced in, but I know I'm horrifically complicated, and I needed a doctor who understood a wide variety, and Nikki is a lot like me. I actually was kept on by my therapist who usually worked with just teens into my early twenties when I moved here because she was actually helping me and didn't want to risk setting me back by switching me to a different doctor. I can't make Nikki well, but I can try to find him the tools he needs to get well himself and help him try to find that health again and support him on the bad days and the good days that will come. Just like he does for me.

I'm so happy to hear that you are doing well and found a doctor that is actually helping! And by the way, you are so much braver than I am, if I get within 100 feet of a garter snake I lose my marbles. I wish you a full recovery, and that is a great pic!

Ren, I am glad to hear that you are doing well by the I am Vibetascott My house wife takes care of everything I do you would know her as Veronica. If you want to talk please feel free to call us. With lots of Huge HUGS ViBeta scott & Veronica

HI Alexandru, Thank you for your post. It's important for all to increase awareness that we can't choose what we are. Too easy to say "just stop it" for those who don't experience or have any concept of our experience. But that response is painful. As if to tell us (you) to shut up, you're bothering me. Well, you're not bothering me whatsoever. I hope your blog and our responses help you find peace. I mean that. Hugs, Emma

Today is a very laid back day. We stopped in at the doctors office to follow up on my lab work since I didn't get the call that the order was put in (The computers were dead at our doctors the day we went, my prescription made it the pharmacy but Nikki's didn't, they were struggling so hard) and no one called like they said to tell me I could go in whenever. And sure enough the order wasn't in the computer, so the receptionist left a note for our doctor to enter it. And follow up making sure Nikki's referral got through the computer craziness. Because after crash coursing on the transgender experience, I also was crash coursing on transgender issues, and it's really scary. Knowing Nikki suffers depression and has anxiety attacks, it makes me really scared with him not being in counseling to help him overcome those. He doesn't exhibit any signs that he's a danger to himself, but I have a really paranoid brain and I just get flat out scared of things sometimes. Then we had lunch, and now the best part has started. Lounging around the house lazily. Not going outside into the cold. It is so cold outside that when I left work I actually started crying, my eyes just filled up and flowed over because I was so cold. That was a WEIRD moment. I dream of palm trees and beaches in Florida, but with our current situation that's really not practical. But we dream, right? I don't even know why I love palm trees so much, they just make me happy as long as they are actual trees and not creepy neon plastic ones. This week is beginning to make me feel like I have some kind of weird feelings about plastic in general. Nikki is still in an up mood, and if it's just from the relief of not having to keep secrets from me anymore like a sort of honeymoon phase, I'll take it. Please good mood last for him as long as it takes to get into the counselor! I do like seeing Nikki happy. Tonight we plan to take the mmo raid scene in our guild by storm, we missed the last couple of weeks on the nights Nikki is working on collecting items to make a weapon because we were doing so much talking and sorting out and redefining our marriage. I'm now of the opinion that everyone should have a sit down every five to ten years and intensely talk about how the marriage is working and what they want from it. This redefining period has really helped us bridge a lot of issues for both of us and improve the overall experience of living in it for both of us. I'm so grateful that I have a really adaptive personality in general, and was able to be what Nikki needed once he'd given me the space to absorb and wrap my head around it. In our early years Nikki always needed to have every problem solved RIGHT NOW and my brain just doesn't work like that. I need time to absorb the issue, and even identify what my feelings about it ARE let along be able to articulate them and express concerns that can be 'solved'. Usually between 1 hour and three days, depending on how complicated the subject is. There are some things I can't adapt to. I have found the line between being able to adapt to a new thing and knowing I don't want to be part of a thing. I was in a relationship with a really nice man, it was a newish relationship, and he was up front with me that he was a big participant in the adult baby world and I needed to know if we were going to persue spending any more time together. He gave me resources to see and understand what it was. I took a few days and looked at all of them, and I understand it intellectually, but I couldn't participate. I had a very strong 'I did my trenches in the diaper wars years ago' emotional reaction, and wasn't sad that they were gone. I couldn't imagine my life centered around a perpetual infant-parent interaction, even though I could understand the need for nurturing that people who do participate have. So I told him honestly I couldn't participate and while I really liked him it was clear I was the wrong person for him, and we parted on good terms. That's how I know Nikki's reality is something that I"m not playing with because it's new and I"m trying to hold on to what we have at any costs. I know the difference between trying to force myself to fit and realizing a new thing is okay and I just have to work on making some adjustments. Somewhere after that marriage I let nearly kill me I learned to finally have a strong sense of self, and who I am, and what I can touch and what I can only intellectually understand. That is making this period relatively easy for me. So is the normalization that occurred from my Rocky Horror and anime convention periods of seeing men in full women's dress all over the place. Which ties into something I posted on the forums, exposure is a huge factor in acceptance, or in some cases at least respect. I respect ex boy and his choices, even if I couldn't join him, because he exposed me in a positive way that let me understand.

So the new full prosthetic breast forms Nikki and I picked out arrived. Visually, they're perfect. But I think I just got hit in the face with expectation vs. reality. I was expecting totally different tactile feel. Think...um....silicone real feel marital aids. The plastic on the outer edges weirds me out. Both in the one he got me to wear so I actually fit properly into a bra and his. I'll adjust, but really, what is with the creepy plastic? Wouldn't people, both those who don't have their own or those who lost them, want something that feels more ... real? I'm not repulsed, I'm not having any sort of backslide or backing away. This is purely a I think everyone deserves better boobs feeling I guess. And I am worried again that the plastic outer coating will trigger the excema on mine. I think I will have to acquire a square of silk or something to wrap it in. But Nikki is wandering around the house, and I encouraged him to dress up fully and enjoy it. So I think he's at least fully happy with them, and with me, and for that internet, bring on all the plastic you want. I can face it! *whispers* But if anyone knows a place to get nice touchable ones since I know he wants me to when his weight drops more (he's been working really hard at it) do please send a link my way.

Thank you for the guidance! That plastic outercasing really threw me, obviously I know very little about breast forms. With my family history it's probably good I learn about these things in general in addition specifically to Nikki. Who looks adorable in them, that smile. He gets away with so much on that smile. Like tickling me then doing that smile to try to get outta retaliation. That one doesn't work so much, I am vengeful with tickling. LOL

I hope you have a healthy, safe surgical experience with no complications! I"m so sorry you can't share with your family, I know what that is like and how sometimes it's really h hard not to wish you had a family that actally cared. *Hugs* I made a new family along the way, and I wish you all the joys and love a family by choice can bring to you also!

Wazzzzzzzzup!? I know, I know, it's been forever. I've been super busy here lately and havent gotten a ton of down time to do a blog post, I'm really sorry! Plus my darned computer keyboard is dying so typing for a long while gets very frustrating since about 5 keys dont work unless I beat the crap out of them lol Not too much to update on really. I'm boring like that I've bitten the bullet and decided to finally go see a Chiropractor again and see if they could help out on my back pain. I've seen one before and it didnt help much so I'll admit, I was very very hesitant. Especially since the first appointment costs me a pretty penny of 85$. Plus I dont like people touching me..... Anyway, my boyfriend recommended me to a guy he went to see by the name of Dr.Bezon. I was really hesitant but went anyway, and when we went through the medical papers and whatnot I DID explain to him that although the paper legally says male, I'm biologically female so I do deal with feminine problems such as lower back pain in menstration, heavy chest from breasts and etc. He understood and didnt question any of it but wrote it down in my file for later reference. I've noticed that instead of using pronouns, he tends to just use the name. For instance, instead of saying "He/she has an appointment" he just uses "Warren has an appointment." Which is kind of nice really. Especially if you're not sure on the person's pronouns! So I went and I'll admit, my first appointment was rather painful and sore and I was not completely bought yet. I was impressed that he did call and check up on me after my first appointment to make sure that I was doing alright, which he apparently does to all his new patients. Very thoughtful! I've gone back a few times since that first appointment and I've noticed that the more I've been going, the less pain I'm in. It's so nice! I went in today after my 11hr shift (85% if it being seated in a vehicle) with severe pain between my shoulders. This is a common area for my pain and its usually between 7-10 on the 1-10 pain scale. I was extremely sore and hurting and slouching when I went in and he took his time to work out whatever I had going on back here. He was soooo fantastic. Normally its just some popping of my spine and neck and I'm right as rain, but today he actually did something that felt SOOOOOOOOO amazing. It hurt for a moment but he squeezed at my shoulders individually, pulling and pushing on them to "take the weight off your clavical and try and pull your collarbone away from your rotator cuff a little". I've cracked my collar bone in the past so it wouldnt surprise me at all if it's pushed against a few things in there. But he stretched out my shoulders and omg.....it felt SO good! I lost feeling in my hands momentarily and he explained that it was because he was cutting off bloodflow momentarily so he could pull the muscles back into their original places or something like that. It felt so great....The cracking between my shoulders when I breathe has lessened a bit which is nice, and my nightly headaches have decreased drastically! I was having headaches every single night for weeks, now it's once in a while when I havent had any caffine yet. Apparently the muscle I had tension in thats on the right side of my neck (from looking left all the time while driving on patrol) was putting tension around my scalp and causing the headaches and some of my shoulder pain. Also (several years ago, when I was 8 years old) I was rock climbing and fell 15 feet when I grabbed a snake instead of a rock. He thinks that the fall and the way I landed reversed part of my spinal curve which would cause a lot of my back pain. He's working on reversing that which isnt easy considering all the years and years that it's been messed up. But I'm very confident that he is being a massive help! I'll continue to go as often as I can, especially since my insurance covers it 100% which is EPIC!! On another note, I reapply for my surgery this week. I was supposed to apply tomorrow (wednesday) but I realized that the appointment for my lab work (TSH test for my thyroid. Very routine.) was too close to my actual doctors appointment and it wouldnt give it enough time to process before seeing my doctor; so we moved it to testing tomorrow, appointment on Thursday. Which works for me, really lol So there's that, and hopefully (please please please PLEASE......) I'll get a quick (and good!!!) response on my surgery. Also, for the FIRST TIME EVERRRRRRRRR, I voted today lol NH primaries were today and I decided it was time to contribute. I'm really really REALLY hoping the person I voted for will reach the white house....All the other candidates spell really bad bad vibes for the Transgender community.... Anyway, not much else going on. I have become rather good friends with all my alts now. To my knowledge, there are 6 of us. (One popped up randomly recently but I kind of like him lol he's funny He's like a caffine-filled chipmunk with ADHD lol) Milo (sliding scale age, but normally around 8 years), Mathias (age 16), Abriella (age 23), Alexandru (age 23) and Benji (age 18). It's so SOOOO weird to refer to myself as they/them/we sometimes. I'm still getting used to the idea of having Multiple Personalities but at times...I'm thankful for it. It makes me more open minded and I'll be honest, its nice to sometimes not have to deal with work and just tune everything out and 'sleep' while Alex takes over....Call me lazy but it's kind of nice. Anyway, that's enough out of the insane nut in the peanut gallery. Tootles! -Ren P.S. A HUGE HUGE HUGE THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!, to Emma for her amazing gift towards my surgery. It was a huge spirit lifter and made me feel insanely good You're amazing! Unfortunatly Gofundme made me withdraw the funds from the account due to inactivity or something. But I'm going to get an unopenable money bank to put in my room and the whole check is going in it to keep saving up! I sadly had to spend a lot of my home-earned funds for bills school vacation really cut back on my hours for a long month so I lost a lot of hours and $ on my paycheck, so I had to use some of my earned funds on rent and registering my vehicle (ITS INSANE HOW MUCH THEY CHARGE YOU FOR THAT!!!). All in due time I'd love to send out thank-you cards to everyone who has contributed to my surgery funds so please (if you're okay with it!) let me know your addresses? It's the least I can do!!! (If you're not comfy with it, that's totally cool too, just know how much I greatly appreciate you!!) <3 Updated pic Seriously loving my tattoo and rare manliness....

I went to the zoo Friday with Nikki, and he literally had to cover my eyes and walk me to the baby galapaggos tortoises so I couldnt' see the python on one side or the anaconda on the other. I have no idea when our zoo got an anaconda, but there might have been a freakout. *blush* Thank goodness Nikki takes care of me. LOL

Thanks Yeah I grew u with snakes all over the place so you get used to them. I like trying to catch Garter snakes lol theyre so adorable In a house I lived in with my mom at one point, they used to crawl out of the chimney in the basement lol

Am having a really shaky morning. It's hard when a friend has gone somewhere you can't follow. I miss him so much already. He was a beautiful person who readily opened the window for me to his part of the world and shared his culture and that soft Scottish brogue. I felt better when Nikki was home, but alone it hits harder and there are no hugs. Four more hours and I can get my hugs. This really hurts. And people saying internet friends shouldn't hurt this bad when they're gone piss me off. Friendship is friendship. It doesn't matter that we never sat in the same room, it matters that he told me Scottish tales and comforted me when I had a bad day and shared a snark with me about someone we found equally irritating and all the other little details of friendship. I had a talk today with one of our joint best friends, who shares a trauma experience with Nikki, and invited us to her home this weekend to open that box together with him (and me, I'm invited to this but said I would stay home if either or both preferred, but apparently I give good hug). He's still shy about telling people, so he asked me to talk it over with her, so I just got done telling her the story (From my chronological point of view, since I"m shaky on Nikki's timetable, but it's getting clearer as we go). One of the reasons she's such a great friend is she instantly saw both our points of view, how they dovetail and how they click, and offered me some advice on how to deal with my often unstable emotions. She was there the time someone I had let really close to me hurt me badly, and saw the emotionally spirally effect i go into that poor NIkki had to live with while I sorted it out. And he was a victim in that too, it was actually him ex-friend lashed out against without warning. Nikki wanted her to know before so that he could speak freely about how all tangled up it is, and she's wonderfully non-judgmental in all things and supportive of us both just like the wonderful people here. But it's his first face to face talk with someone other than me about this, that has to be big for him. Todays Good Mindset: I had a wonderful friend. It doesn't hurt like this if it wasn't amazing. Today's Stupid fear: That my stomach will flip out on me. It feels shaky, and I hate feeling sick, and it freaks Nikki out that I'm in immediate need of surgery again these days. But my stomach responds hard to my emotion and feels swirly. Work with me stomach! Let's not get sick at work, okay? At least til we get home? Please?

Big hugs to my Bree. I'm sorry you were hurty and I was stuck at work.

wow your getting your boobs Congratulations and have faun and have fantastic work and my people surround you with love and support Love ViBett Scott. I am also I am married to Veronica" wifeWell more chatting to go too. we send our love and big HUGS Vibetascott

I wanted to just vent a bit tonight if you do not mind. But I do want to add a "Trigger Warning" to those of you who are reading this. I will be adding these to my blog posts now, whenever I feel they are necessary. PLEASE do not hesitate to ask me to add them to posts that you feel need them. I know how important they are. TRIGGER WARNING: OCD, MPD, DID, Anxiety, Depression and Mental Illness Mental Illnesses.....So drastically misunderstood by so many that it baffles your very soul to see others laugh in the face of other peoples' suffering. To watch in full willingness to the pain and frustration of someone close to you, and either do nothing to help or do the exact opposite, unknowingly endangering that person's wellbeing or state of mind. I see it every day, to be rather honest with you. It saddens me greatly. Not only because it is being done to others that I care about, or even strangers that I do not fully know, but also because I too suffer from both the ignorance of others and Mental Illness. By now the fact of my Multiple Personality Disorder are rather clear. It is the reasons behind most of my blog posts. But other illnesses also play an important role in my daily life, along with the daily life of my 'siblings' or 'headmates'. My host and dear brother holds record, so it seems, for to most 'labels' that I can even imagine. Including but not limited to OCD, MPD (obviously), social anxiety, emotional anxiety, depression, claustrophobia, Bipolar disorder, and more. I myself can only self diagnose considering my situation, being that some doctors may not even see me as a factual person but rather an imaginary manifestation of the mind. From what I have found of myself and what I have researched (I assure you, I am not a WebMD sort of man.) I can say with honest conviction that I do suffer from OCD, light situational Depression, Claustrophobia and perhaps anxiety. I say perhaps because it may just be situation demanding. Situation being high mentally tasking situations such as large crowds, lots of talking--things that would prompt a large sensory overload. Again, this is only self diagnosis. But the sheer ignorance that people show who are not afflicted by such disorder is beyond....upsetting to say the least. The other day while I were on duty at work, I stopped the vehicle and saw two young girls mocking and laughing at a young man who was busy fixing his shirt. Apparently he had somehow missed a button on his shirt and the whole thing were crooked. Some people would just chuckle and correct it with a shrug of their shoulders, being no more daunting a task that retying your shoe. But to him, this was a drastic catastrophe that needed correcting immediately. The fact that his shirt were uneven and incorrect drove him to such a measure that he whipped off his shirt right there in the 23F winter weather, shivering and embarrassed, fixing his buttons as if it would save his very life. And they laughed.....They giggled and patted his shoulder and told him he was silly. He was obsessed. That he needed to "chill out" that it was "just a shirt". You see these types of situations everywhere. Not too long ago, during the summer shift changes, Ren were working at the bar instead of on patrol. He rather enjoys this switch, as the constant interaction of people helps him to overcome his social anxiety--but with the very important detail of having a very wide counter-top between him and the customers. This very important but seemingly silly detail makes the whole situation tolerable for him. Something about having that mandatory, unavoidable space between him and another person is the only reason that he can stand it at all. His coworkers chuckled and said he would be fine without the counter, not really fully understanding the need for such things. Of course, you cannot blame them or be angry either. Those who do not experience war, cannot understand the terror of a gunshot. As another example, you have the situation of repeated notions. Tourettes Syndrome. People usually associate the condition of Tourettes with swearing uncontrollably, but do not realize that these 'ticks' can be a very vast variety of symptoms. It may be constant sneezing, twitches, blinking constantly, lip biting, giggling at bad times---all these things can be symptoms of Tourettes. Ren also suffers from Tourettes Syndrome through the tick of 'cheek chewing'. He continuously chews on the insides of his cheeks, creating what can only be described as 'reversed Joker Scars'. It is subconscious and, at most times, unavoidable. The best solution we've been given thus far is 'chewing gum' to chew on instead of the cheeks. Of course, it comes with the downside of damage to your teeth and developing cavities. But with the alternative to possible mouth cancer from the damages to your cheeks---I suppose that is the best choice. But it amazes me how many people have told him "just stop doing it". Ha! If only it were that simple. "Just stop doing it" Its a phrase that people like us hear often. "People have it so much more worse than you do. Just cheer up". That is as effective as cutting off your pinkie and saying "Other people have done something worse. Just stop hurting already." Society has planted this idea in our minds that others have it so much worse, so much more drastic and emergent that we are forced to assume that it's really not that bad. That the person who is 'complaining' about their situation can simply 'suck it up' and move on. You do not realize how much courage it took for them to admit their pain, only to be told that their agony is invalid and unworthy of mentioning or sympathy. Perhaps they dont even want your sympathy but rather your understanding and perhaps some encouragement to endure and prosper. So many many times I have heard "so much more worse than". When Ren admitted to someone that he was struggling with cutting himself and that although the wounds were not deep, it hurt and it was addictive. The response he received? "I know someone who did it a lot worse than you. They needed stitches." Oh, I apologize...I did not realize that pain and suffering were also a competition. Pardon me while I try to outdo the damage done.... I'm not sure exactly where I am going with this blog aside from just a bit of venting. To get these thoughts off my chest and onto the screen. Perhaps to share my insight on how I feel about these situations and..perhaps even put the thoughts that others are having as well. Afterall, it can be very relieving and gratifying to know that your thoughts are also the thoughts of others. In my own situation --that actually prompted this blog---is my OCD. This is a post that I wrote upon my facebook wall. "Over Compulsive Disorder. OCD can be very difficult to live with at times. Yes, I will organize the simplest of things. No, you will not find a mixmatched storage chest in my Minecraft game. Yes, I count every single block of that house I built to ensure it is all even. No, you will not find a window that does not match the opposing wall. Or a door that is not centered. And yes, I will destroy the entire set if it is uneven. No, it is not funny. We cannot help these things....But sometimes it takes just a push from others to make it much worse. You may reorganize my things just for the fun of it, and I may smile and laugh when you shake your head at my desperation to rearrange them. You may think me crazy because I NEED things just so, or that I'm just obsessed with keeping things in a pattern. You may shrug and see it as no big deal if I realize that the pattern of the design in which I am coloring is not even, but it drives me mad. I can spend hours working on a mandala, setting the colors just so---and realize that though I've been doing one color every other flower and realize...there arent enough and I lost count--I would rather tear that paper and start anew than shrug it off. I cannot look at it. I cannot 'ignore' it. This is what OCD is. It is not funny. It is not something to giggle at. It may be funny to watch me scurry about and rearrange my things the way I need them to be, but to me, it is agonizing. My brain CAN NOT settle or relax until it is fixed. It will pester my mind all day, whisking away any sense of focus or settlement until I know that it has been corrected. It baffles me how amusing OCD is to people who do not suffer from it.Please, if you know someone suffering from OCD--even if you dont understand it---do not torment them. Do not move their things. Do not rearrange their items because it is amusing to YOU to watch them fix it. They may laugh, they may smile and giggle at how foolish they look---but it is only because they are embarassed. We know it is not normal. Thank you for reminding us of how weird we look or act. Certainly that will correct everything, yes?Please, be considerate.Just because OCD is an invisable disease...it does not mean we do not suffer." I suppose I will end here, now that I have vented a bit. I seem to have gotten all, or most, of my thoughts down thus far. I suppose the moral of this post is.....be kind. You may not see what they are suffering from, and you may not understand why or how they feel the way they do. But that does not give you a right to judge them by their faults. Help if you can. Be sympathetic or sensative to their situations, not amused or disgusted.Believe me, if they could help it...the situation wouldnt even arise. -Alexandru Sidenote: I have finished more mandalas and I will post them in an upcoming blog post. (Along with the colorings of the others)

It still accepts donations I think, but it now is making me withdraw on the first of every month (if available). Not sure why.

I want to echo veronicabeta's happiness you shared with us. I also really want to validate the sadness you must feel not being comfortable sharing this milestone with family. My heart goes out to you. I am sending compassion to you and wish you the best with the surgery. <3 Luna