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Yes monk is fine. Thank you. I have been advised to move slowly and silently.

Joined this site a few days ago after many years of fantasizing wondering what it would be like to explore what i was really feeling inside. Did some deep soul searching and realized that to feel complete, i have to explore and sort through my emotions. I have been supressing and fighting my true feelings. I am on a fact finding mission. This is the first i am expressing any of these feelings. It feels good talking about this.

Thank you Bree, i have run from, hidden from, and drowned my feelings and emotions all my life. My therapist has been working on getting me to recognize them and to deal with them. I am not sure i will ever be able to just feel something for what it is. Good or bad. Feel like turning my back on this and showing a happy face to people. My head and heart are in turmoil, i so want to explore this side of me. Pity pot time: maybe i am destined to live in a shell. Never noing what true happiness is. Slap me in the back of the head for that comment.

Bree is very wise, kind, and has good advice. Keep talking, don't withdraw into a shell. It can feel cozy for a short while but it's not very helpful in sorting things out.

Not silently. Talking is good. find your truth, whatever it is, and then choose your path to it.

Welcome! I can certainly relate to the feelings you're expressing. Wow, so many years... For me, finally coming to terms and acceptance of myself reminds me of the relief I felt as a child when I was unburdened by, finally, admitting the truth. I don't mean to frighten you but please allow yourself time and patience. The mind does many things to protect us and some of those things take a while to adapt. One piece of good news is that TGG is a warm and friendly place. BTW: should we call you Monk? Hugs, Emma

My therapist suggested a book that I really liked, and I have read many of these kinds of books. Most of them didn't do much for me, except for those by Brene Brown. Anyway, this one provides a very interesting and logical framework for how I learned patterns for dealing with emotions, and provides some ideas on how to address them. It might help you too: "Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want".

No no, feelings are what it's all about. It's why life is worth living. Some are harder than others to be sure, but they ALL serve a purpose. Fear is there to make us be cautious in life, to pay attention to what is going on around us and keep us mindful of protecting ourselves. It's not pleasant to feel, but it's so important. Don't look down on fear, use it as the tool it is and master it to help you in your life journey. The so called negative emotions are strong and not fun to have, so people want to not feel them and there is a tendency to ignore their purposes in our life. I find the best way to being a stronger person is to embrace it all, and use them to help me know what is going on around me that is causing the feeling and what I should be doing about it. I master them, not the other way around.