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You got it, it's a giant plush turtle Nikki got me after the plush bear wore out. I have this stupid sleep disorder, and the cozy comfortable cuddle object convinces my mind I'm not going to be murdered in my sleep and I can relax and drift off. Brains are such funny things. But he's soft, cuddly, and awesome and when Nikki gets up in the morning he makes sure I have my turtle becuase he's probably fallen out of bed during the night. In the fall we like to hang out on the couch under the soft blankets with the dog and watch movies all cozied up, it's awesome! It's the only blanket time the dog gets, she's not allowed near the bed because she eats the bedding. X_X We got these new, giant, super plush beach towels too, and that feeling wrapping up in one just after getting out of the pool is amazing. People are always looking for the 'big dramatic moments' but it's the little ones that have a lasting, every day effect in my opinion.

Because comfort is awesome. Whether it's a favorite nightgown, cozy blanket, or a turtle plush (don't judge, I need my turtle plush to sleep!) there is nothing like physical comfort and coziness.

Hi Bree, You got it exactly. I cherish those moments, and on Thursday evening that was exactly what I felt, cozy and comfortable. I've always been like that, loving curling up and tucking in. My mother told me that I loved the satin edging on my baby blanket so much that I simply wore it out. I don't judge your turtle plush whatsoever. But I have no idea what it is! I am giggling to myself at the moment, thinking of a plush green blanket shaped like a turtle, or a stuffed turtle that you can hug and curl up with. Getting cozy is a reason I love it when the weather gets chilly. Especially when the wind picks up (not too much) and the bushes and trees are swaying, cold air blowing through the windows. It's wonderful to wear a warmer nightgown and add a comforter to the bed. Emma

Hi Chantel, thank you for your kind support. I think I miscommunicated in my post or otherwise made you think that wearing a nightgown to bed is unusual for me. I do it often, actually, but less so in the summer when it's so warm. And I have quite a wardrobe of feminine clothing that, here again, I wear at home when the mood strikes me which is more often when it's more chilly. I do sometimes wear women's underwear when I go out but I've otherwise not gone out dressed. For some reason it's not a priority for me. Sure, I'd like to, but then again I'd want to present completely and as well as I could and that seems like it would add so much work to it! I think it's terrific that you are comfortable going out as you describe. I think it's people like you, Steph, and others here who go out and about freely presenting however you would like that put real human selves in front of the cisgender population, letting them see for themselves that there's nothing at all to worry or concern themselves about. Emma

Just want to let you know I am still here and with you. Yes I started wearing clear nail varnish and mascara first and no one really said anything. I was already wearing girl jeans and underwear. After a while I thought ok and started wearing a little pink lipstick and light brown polish on my toes and stii.no one said anything. Some people just stared a bit longer working out whatever but I have had no big issues out and about. Friends and family however. Some needed time and some still feel uncomfortable. I was told some really negative stuff but it seemed to be more about them than me, not about how I felt or looked but it did make me feel that I was fooling myself and perhaps I should go back. I am pleased I haven't and I now feel a lot more comfortable. I don't ever want to go back. So to you Emma and all my friends, go girls and live your truth. XXX

Hoping all's well. Chantel

About lying in bed, in my long white nightgown, reading, with my legs tucked under the skirt. It's like being at peace with the world, comfortable and cozy, and right. It just feels right. And that's what they say transgender is. What feels right, what does it for you. It's terribly hard at times to really put ones finger on it and like the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, as soon as you try, it moves, as if it can't be objectively pinned down. Isn't it weird that something as simple as this could seem so right? I mean, why the big deal? Why does it mean anything at all? It's not erotic or a turn-on. Maybe I'm past that point. But maybe it's also a feeling of how it should have been so many years ago when I should have been a little girl. But I'll never be a little girl nor a big adult girl either. Maybe I don't have to be so long as it's okay for me from time to time to snuggle in my white nightgown, reading a book, cozy. Right now it feels very good, very right.

Just cut ties with my father. I've talked about him and the complicated relationship before, and why I didn't really know what I was holding onto. Well, he finally pushed that last button and I went nuclear. He called me stupid again, which I'm used to really, over my belief that we have to do better as a nation to care for people. There aren't enough jobs. They are getting shipped overseas en masse. The old get a job rhetoric is a joke, and there is no reason anyone should be homeless and starving in this country. We have the ability to fix it, we as a society choose not to. But to go on calling my son a loser over and over when he DOESN"T KNOW HIM pushed me over the edge. He has consistantly refused to talk to the boy on the phone or e-mail his whole life. How on earth can he accurately state anything other than that boy exists and his name? He doens't know it. So I told him off royally, including the phrase "you need to learn when it's time to shut the eff up" I am so done. From now on Nikki has stepped up to create the Great Wall of Nikki around me, and that man has lost access. Because I am done. Toxicity helps no one. I know a lot of people here will understand, because it doesn't matter if the core issues is transgender or racism, the emotional fall out is the same. The same ugly, the same judgement, the same crazy. I need a hug. This summer was going so well too.

As I often do on Sunday mornings over coffee I read The New York Times and this morning was no different. I ran out of things that interested me so did a search on "transgender" and found the following article about Barry Winchell's murder while in the US Army, who was in a serious relationship with Calpernia Addams, a transexual woman. I came close to crying in the neighborhood coffee shop as I was so taken by the depth of feelings that came up: An Inconvenient Woman I then checked Huffington Post's TRANSGENDER page which often has interesting articles and, thankfully, found one that was so delightful, about an 11 year old gay boy's first day at middle school, how he met and befriended an 11 year old transgender girl, and his wonderful mother: When My Son Met Another Out LGBTQ Kid On The First Day Of Middle School Okay, great, feeling better! At least until I read another one on Huff Post: Surviving The Waves Of History: Bathroom Bills Can Be Deadly which is about a transman's suicide over the weight that he could bear no longer from those who deny transgender people's validity and rights. He just missed Attorney General Loretta Lynch's speech where she said: "Let me also speak directly to the transgender community itself. Some of you have lived freely for decades. Others of you are still wondering how you can possibly live the lives you were born to lead. But no matter how isolated or scared you may feel today, the Department of Justice and the entire Obama Administration wants you to know that we see you; we stand with you; and we will do everything we can to protect you going forward. Please know that history is on your side. This country was founded on a promise of equal rights for all, and we have always managed to move closer to that promise, little by little, one day at a time. It may not be easy — but we’ll get there together.” We will, my friends, get there together. What a Sunday morning it's been. Here's wishing you a beautiful day. Go hug someone. Emma

Good day all I know that I am sometimes just questioning what is happening, but hey, seeing that I am still a young 36 years old that looks younger apparently then my 18 year old self, then how can I say no to being a questioning fiend. I went in for the operation on Tuesday and to my perk, I wasn't treated as though I was a weird specimen of human trying to infiltrate an alien race. Operation was done with the highest of professionalism and only afterwards I was asked about being transgender seeing that they only get to see trans persons in medical journals and not in the flesh. Okay, as I said it's easier identifying as transgender seeing that I am intersex and that in itself is more confusing to explain to people including myself, who thought that it would make my life a little bit easier or more understanding to myself. So transgender still goes on all forms, not for the fact that I can't explain both, but because of gender identity, and if there isn't an area where I need to explain, I just write female, or what do you girls right. It always will end as female. I don't know if it's actually going to be a bad visit tomorrow at the surgeon because I know how it feels to be the new kid on the block, and all I know is he isn't a bad surgeon neither does he use a bad stitch at all. Got banged up the other night by the 2 year old, who decided to slam directly on the wound and down I went for a few minutes and all was well, just lucky, I decided that I needed to wear a sanitary towel just in case I was to bleed, and yeah the blood got caught by this awful piece of material that made my cunt (for lack of better wording) and wound area feel like this massive and fat area. Okay, tomorrow I go for my check up and I hope that everything is better because I feel kind of different at the spot that I was cut into. Ooooh, the weirdest thing I can say is, who comes out of a medically induced coma and check their hair, make it perfect before going down to recovery and asking for food. That was me and hilarious as always. Tomorrow is results day and check up, so let me go and say. Cheers ladies and gentlemen. Please keep your hands, mouth, feet and all valuables inside the brains, as we will have liftoff soon and meaning that nothing is safe to the rest as it will be said. I bit thee fairwell only because I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I also grant the world permission to accept each other for who they are, because this fight for equality is gender old already, and I'm to sexy to have this fight continuously. Love, lust and hugs Michele

Hiya Michele. It Is Great to hear from You Sweetheart. I hope that Your Check-Up and Result's, give You a Positive Answer, rather than a Negative One. Darling Girl, You mentioned about Your Gender. Darling, I understand precisely what Intersexed is. I have a Personal Friend who is Intersexed. Michele, You ARE Michele, and that is what is important. If Other People don't like it Honey, That is Their Problem. Sweetheart, You describe Your Body Part/Part's exactly how You want to Honey. I have looked at Your 6 latest Photo's. You have got some very cheeky look's on Your Pretty Face. Michele, the Photo with You and Your Friend, taken just hour's before Your surgery is Lovely. ( 2 Lovely Young Ladies together. ). Michele, You Know that You are in My thought's. I Wish You All The Very Best Wishes, for Your Check-Up and Result's. Take Care Sweetheart, and Big Hugs. Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxx

Hi everyone! We're doing great, Nikki has responded to the Zoloft exceedingly well and continues with this therapy, although they bumped it down to monthly since he's doing so great. And we had a wild summer packed full of all things fun. (and i also managed not to explode and actually made the fireworks at the fourth of july this year!). I have 8 more working days, then I"m outta the job from hell. Nikki continues to look for a new job, but being back on an overall even keel has returned to his I like my job, just not my coworkers overall feeling about it and is doing fine. I'm mad at the library for not hiring him, I think he would have loved working there! Oh my gosh STeph, that is insane heat. The worst we hit was 98 degrees Fahrenheit, which my phone tells me is 36.7 celcius. I swear the pool is the reason we made it through this summer without hospitalization for heat stroke, the humidity has been weirdly insane for the lack of rain that fell this year. I've spent summers here since I was 8, and lived here full time since I was 23, and only in the last three years as the lawn ever crunched when you walked on it. Being so close to the great lakes it rained a LOT. My asthma is holding off great, summer makes me almost like a person with normally functioning lungs! I love summer. It's winter where things get...unpleasant. Nikki job hunts in Florida too, since I actually loved it there and it's warm all year round, but unlikely that he'll actually find anything, jobs like people already in the area. But a Bree's gotta dream, right? And don't worry about my hydration, you should see the giant water drinking thing I walk around with. it holds a little over a liter, and I fill it up and suck on it. Good for the diet and the hydration both, I"m always really full of water. I joke it's why I float in the pool so well, neutral bouyancy with all the water inside!

Ahh thank you Emma, sorry I got the wrong end of the stick. Big hugs. X

Hiya Emma. My Favourite Nightie, is a Pretty Pink one, with White Lace Edging. I also have a Favourite Pair of Pyjamas, which are White with Red Flowers on them. I have just bought a Pretty Pink Bra, with matching Pretty Pink Knickers. I have a Blue Bra, and Several Black Bra's with matching Black Knickers. I just Love My Female Undies and Clothes. I have just started using Eye Shadow, but, I have been using Lipstick; Nail-Varnish; and Mascara; for Month's. Emma, whatever feels right for You Young Lady, is right. It Is just Lovely, to fall asleep in a Lovely Nightie or Female Pyjamas. I Am wearing My Favourite Pretty Pink Nightie now. Emma, Take Care Sweetheart, and having Our TGGuide Community, with such Wonderful Friend's as Yourself; Chantel; Michael; Monica; Karen; Stephani; Christie G; Nikki and Briannah; Veronica and Violet; and So Many More; I feel so Lucky, having such Lovely Friend's. Emma, Stay Happy, With My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxx

Hi Steph and Chantel, Thank you for your kind thoughts. I know you're offering sincere support. Last night, like tonight (!) I was just feeling good in my nightgown and was inspired to share those feelings. It's wondrous and delightful that such a little thing can make me feel so good at times. It's such fun, too, to share that joy with friends like you. I'm so grateful that I came across TG Guide and that we have our community. XXXOOOXXX Emma

Hi Emma, Steph is so right. I just want to support everything she says and share an understanding of where you're coming from. Big hugs. X

Hiya Emma. When I "Came-Out" as a Fully; Full-Time; Male-to-Female; Transitioning; Transsexual; over 15 1/2 Month's ago, a Few People asked Me, if Wearing Female Undies; Clothing; Footwear; and Nightwear; made Me feel Erotic; and/or Sexy ? The answer was, No ! Wearing Female Attire, just feels so Right. If I Am Not Wearing Dresses, then I Am Wearing Top's/Blouses and Skirt's, and Vica Versa. But it is just something, that to Me, comes Naturally. I use Female Washroom's/Bathroom's, ( and being Officially Registered Disabled, I can also use Disabled Facilities, if Female one's are Not available. ). Emma, Never think to Yourself, I should Not be Wearing a Nightie; etc., because if it feels right, then it is right. What I can say, is that Female Undies; Clothing; Footwear; and Nightwear; ARE so much nicer, and so much more comfortable, to wear. I enjoy colour coordinating as well, but sometimes it can also be fun, to wear something which clashes. I Love Wearing Make-Up, as well. Emma, enjoy Wearing what feels right to You Young Lady. If anyone says anything different, ignore Them. Emma, Take Care, Big Hugs; And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxx

Good evening everyone Not a big thing, I'm going in on Tuesday for an operation to remove my lump. So far no sign of imminent danger, so relieved to an extent, but will be happier on Tuesday 2016-08-16 when it is removed. So not all smile, but some sort of smile and a grin after having a bowl of comfort food. Can't beat chocmint ice cream. For once a male doc that wants to learn more. Here's to queer cheers, hell whatever kind of cheers you want to give works. Oooh was told by my non biological child, he loves my laugh. I'm talking about my ugly laugh, and he says it sounds like I can be the villain in the movies. Good night my sweets. Hugs and kisses Oooh loads of motivation to keep on with your desires to fulfill your dreams. Hey, can't just the bearer of bad, semi good news. If I can be strong, so can you, and if you don't have the strength, just lean on me and I'll carry you to safety... Xoxoxoxoxoxo Michele

Hiya Michele. I Have been thinking of You, All Day Today Young Lady. I hope that the Operation Has Been a Success, and I Also Hope, that the Result is NOT bad news. Michele, Take Care Young Lady, And My Very Best Wishes Honey. Big Hugs, Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxx

Hi there So Monday I'm doing my hair professionally. What??? Doesn't mean I can't look better then usual for surgery. Might just meet my dream man. I'm super calm, he has gained some of my trust. Cheers And no I'm not drinking. Michele

Hiya Michele. Darling Girl, My Very Sincere Good Wishes, for Tuesday Honey. I Am Keeping Everything Crossed for You. You Know that I WILL Be thinking of You on Tuesday. It Will be Good to get the Operation Done though Young Lady. Michele, Your Kind and Lovely Word's to Everyone, are So Sweet, and So Kind. Michele Sweetheart, Have A Good Weekend Young Lady. Good Luck; Take Care; Big Hugs; And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxx

Very best wishes for you next Tuesday, and know that I will be thinking of you. Let us know how it goes. XXXOOOXXX Emma