Leaderboard

As above, my love and best wishes for you too.

Hi everyone, hope you guys have been well with me not here and that some soul who needed it was helped. Let me see how the story format go and here is the last few weeks with the biopsy and how I was doing for the time till now. Ooooh, my sister got her car back today, so I should probably have my car serviced Biopsy Done & Dusted Feelings While Unknown Date: 2016-08-16 I was taken in and first weight, making me feel uncomfortable at the thought that someone else is seeing my weight and if I gained weight and I didn’t know about it, what can I say. Also feeling more like I should eat, but yes fasting doesn’t work that much for me the foodie. Nurses at this hospital which is open less than a year or around that time, are professional and full of smiles. The one sees my lip gloss on and thinks it’s a lipstick. Not at all and here they all start doing their faces, because apparently I can’t be the only person that is looking good at the hospital. Fear strikes me more as hunger makes me think of all the crap that can go wrong. First thing first, what if this is positive and I am told chemo, well we found something else. Or the weirdest one of all, what the.................................................. and total silence. I went with thought into my gown and thought that if I don’t calm down as in now, my stats might make me wait longer to have the operation done to remove this lump. So I calmed down by watching tv, chatting to everyone around me and then the inevitable happened my surgery schedule was announced as changed. Thinking what is wrong, as I was told, I realize that they were discussing that the child had eaten and needed to wait a few more minutes which made me think that I am closer to food if and when this happen so don’t look nervous or anything. Went into the surgery theatre and was told the painful part was over and I asked what the doc was talking about only to find that he already had the drip on my arm. Hahahahahahaaaaa, I don’t feel needles unless the idiot that does the drip line isn’t good at it, I will feel the needle as I look at them. And asleep I am.... Woke up a while later, the first thing I do is take of the hair net, and make my hair right, second thing I do that was astounding was with a smile I asked if I can eat now, I’ve been waiting on food for the whole day already. The medical staff just laughed and started chatting to me as they told me that I am still on the surgery floor, not back on the ward floor. Somehow it was weird that I woke up with a smile and was perky. Relief Feeling relief that you know the thing is out that was making you sick and now the stressful part starts waiting on biopsies and getting in the doctor’s office for the follow up. But relieved that the operation was a success and I would only be in pain from the surgery wound and nothing else. Hoping for the blue moon and the sparkling oceans to stay calm too. Date: 2016-08-22 Enter the doc’s office and I know what is going to happen, take off your clothes and let me examine you. Therefore I dressed accordingly to make it easier to strip, yes like a strip dancer. Does his examination as we do the pleasantries as to make me feel less uncomfortable to having a man next to me while naked. And in the conversation he says, wound looks good and results negative. What did you just say??? No Chemotherapy for me, and no hair loss, and no losing weight and explaining that I am sick and treating cancer. Go home with a smile on my face and finding a doc I can trust in the mean time, okay so not all men are pigs as doctors. Lots of love and hugs to boot from me. Because little old confused me was kissed and I think I forgot how to kiss back, but after the initial shock I just let it happen and this was as in last night. I’m getting to old for this crap, but I should probably allow a younger guy to show me what he got or not. I can almost call myself A-sexual or anti sexual to the world. Michele Ps: I was told on Wednesday 2016-08-24 that I am a model standing outside with a friend and this cute guy walks by. Ooooh validating isn’t it, if his eyes is only fixed on me and not my friend. And Thursday 2016-08-25 that another guy stopped me to chat with me and just blurted out for which modelling agency you working because you belong in the high fashion magazines and cat walks of fashion shows. I just laughed and said that I love the work that I do, but thank you for the complement.

I had my grandfather, and he's the reason I'm a good person. Grandpa taught me all the things I should know. He died too young, only 65, there should have been more time and memories, but take what we can get right? I'm okay without my father, it's just...that lingering desire to have a family and roots that go back, not just forward. I'm only 44, in my head it's not time yet to be the oldest person at the family gatherings when there are still people alive, but it is what it is. Thank you for all the love, I'm adjusting slowly, and Nikki is keeping a ridiculously close eye on me and the boy. The boy isn't too affected, my dad has literally only been in the same room with him for slightly less than 30 days out of his entire lifetime, and has never chosen to speak with him on the phone or e-mail. So to my son he's just a weird bitter old white man who happens to be his mom's genetic father. I'm grateful it doesn't affect him more. We had a long talk about it, but he was happy that mom went from arguing a point to burning the bridges and salting the field nuclear about it. Thou shalt not mess with my kid. And, it's kinda ironically funny. The thing that started it all was a picture I posted an a discussion between me, my son, and a few freinds that we need to do better as a society to make sure everyone has the basics of life. I'm talking food, shelter, clothes, and medical care. Not tvs, flashy cars, just the basics. And this dude who tires to shovel christianity and genetic blood ties are everything down my throat for years decided that is the hill to die on and start calling my son a loser who wants society to provide for him so he can continue to blame his failures on everyone but himself. Because we were discussing making the world better. Way to practice the charity of your religion there. I have to laugh about all of this. We tried to engage him on the discussion, but he wouldn't back up any opinions with information or facts about why he feels that way, just kept talking in memes then decided to attack my kid. Today I feel...lighter. Realizing I don't ever have to deal with him again is freeing. And a huge, stunning relief. I'll be okay, and I didn't realize how much the whole thing was dragging me down until I cut that tie. It's just sad that that is what reality is, but sadness fades and there are camping trips with Nikki in planning and cruises with his parents and weekly games and hangouts with my kid and a pool to swim in and a house that is in the middle of a massive reorganization (I decided to go through everything and sort it all out and get rid of things we don't need to avoid turning into a hoarder like my mom and paternal grandma, it's in my GENES!) to finish, life is busy for everyone. And only six more days of work and then I"ll have all the time in my life to do whatever makes Nikki and I happy! WOOT!

Hiya Michele. It Is Great to hear from You Sweetheart. I hope that Your Check-Up and Result's, give You a Positive Answer, rather than a Negative One. Darling Girl, You mentioned about Your Gender. Darling, I understand precisely what Intersexed is. I have a Personal Friend who is Intersexed. Michele, You ARE Michele, and that is what is important. If Other People don't like it Honey, That is Their Problem. Sweetheart, You describe Your Body Part/Part's exactly how You want to Honey. I have looked at Your 6 latest Photo's. You have got some very cheeky look's on Your Pretty Face. Michele, the Photo with You and Your Friend, taken just hour's before Your surgery is Lovely. ( 2 Lovely Young Ladies together. ). Michele, You Know that You are in My thought's. I Wish You All The Very Best Wishes, for Your Check-Up and Result's. Take Care Sweetheart, and Big Hugs. Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxx

Hoping all's well. Chantel

Hiya Michele. I Have been thinking of You, All Day Today Young Lady. I hope that the Operation Has Been a Success, and I Also Hope, that the Result is NOT bad news. Michele, Take Care Young Lady, And My Very Best Wishes Honey. Big Hugs, Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxx