Leaderboard

It's a deal breaker in my friendships too, I back away from any serious racism, religionism, sexism, whateverism because I think what matters is how individuals behave. I don't care who anyone else sleeps with as long as proper consent is contained (I do care if people are being molested or raped!), I don't care what religion anyone practices so long as it doesn't harm anyone (don't get me started on the weird religions need to punsih people who don't share the same one), I don't care where people came from, I don't care what they wear, eat, like, whatever. None of that has anything to do with me. What has to do with me is can we converse nicely, do they treat me and others around us well, are they likeable, what do we have in common, things like that. I have a everyone welcome whose not a jerk sign hanging over my friendzone! Before Nikki and I decided to switch from Polyarmory to Monogamy, my dating sign was "everyone welcome whose not a jerk, but I make no promises til we see how it goes" sign over my datingzone. Even when I ran into things dates were into that I could not personally handle participating, I never had a need to make them feel bad or weird about it, I just said I'm sorry, this isn't my thing, but I wish you luck finding someone who enjoys this too. People say I'm weird that I"m still friends with several people I'd had romantic/sexual relationships with in the past. I think I'm fairly normal, if you like a person for being that person, not just their looks, it doesn't seem that strange to stay friendly as long as there was no reason not to, like cheating or abuse or something harmful. Nikki is friends with them and genuinely likes them. Not my ex husband of course, that falls under the abuse clause, but others. People tell us that's unnatural too, and I wonder where this "if we can't be in a romantic relationship we can't be anything' comes from. Or where the 'you must erase all traces of exes to prove you love the person you currently choose to be with' idealogy comes from either. Are we as a culture in America that insecure? I will never understand why anyone would choose to attack you for choosing to have relationships with whomever you are attracted to. They are not in the relationship, they are not harmed by the relationship, and it has nothing to do with their reltaionship with you, they are forcing it into a place it doesnt' belong. People make me sad more and more these days.