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Having a crap week, and am going offline for a bit to sort it all out. ​ Last week I was feeling...odd. Especially late at night. Saturday night I felt really odd, and checked my fitbit, and had a crazy high pulse rate for laying down. 40 bpm above my usual resting rate doing nothing. So after goofling symptoms off the er I want, were I spent the next five ours waiting to find out if I was having a heart attack, pneumonia, viral infection, acid reflux onset, or a mineral deficiency (and those can be extreme, scariest medical moment of my life as a mother was a magnesium deficiency from the stomach flu where my son literally could not control his body or move on his own, scary ride to hospital, then once the blood panel came back a magnesium iv set him back to normal like magic!). So the winner is...acid reflux. So now I take Prilosec generic stuff (and omg what is with the fizzy cough syrup tasting coating on these things?). It must suck to be a doctor when five such varied causes all have the same symptoms really. Doctor was lovely, and I'm okay now. I'll still feel weird with the pulse rates for a bit, Prilosec stuff needs time to work. Then today Murder Kitty was acting weird, and wrong. So we took him to the vet, and came home alone. My five year old murder kitty is gone, and I'm trying to process. I always assumed this crazy cat would be there when Creed (15 and counting) and Alita (10 years old this summer, pretty old lady dog) went, and just outta nowhere he's gone. MAYBE they could have saved him this time, but he could have re-experienced the issue right away and faced a lifetime of vet care (which he REALLY does not do well with, he lost his mind as usual so bad they had to sedate him fully to even examine him to find out what was wrong) and we can't turn his life into an endless battle royal of endless home and vet medical care he just won't tolerate. So my Logan went to sleep. And I miss my cat. So everyone be well, I'm going to go sort through all the emotional turmoil of the week and focus on furthering my health and Nikki's mood, which is at an all time low after this week. I'll be back after things are better. *hugs for Emma and Monica on their new journeys!*

Hi Bree, thank you for your well wishes but I'm sorry you, Nikki, and your family are having such problems. I can well imagine how you feel about having to put Logan down. It's so hard isn't it, after bonding like we do to these little creatures that ignore us so often, unless they're hungry. At times like these (including what I'm going through as I contemplate my divorced future) we need to be easy on ourselves, caring for ourselves. Consider creating a "Self-Care Checklist" as recommended by my friend Dara Hoffman-Fox that you can refer to as needed for ideas. Here's some of mine: Emma's Self-Care Checklist Physical Take a walkStretchHiking Bike rideRide the motorcycleArts Listen to musicPlay guitarPainting/drawingPhotographyCulinary Cook dinnerDrink a glass of wineCup of coffeeCup of teaEntertainment Watch a favorite TV showWatch a favorite movieWatch a new movieRead a novelTransgender Curl up in bed in nightgownDress in my leggings and a pretty topRead favorite blogs Shave body hairSpiritual MeditateTake a napLight a candleTasks Straighten up the RV Do laundryClean the RV None of the above are a panacea, but it helps to at least know the list is there when I need it, and it helps me. Maybe something like this will help you too. Emma