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Dear Emma, Very well said. Great advice no matter who you are! As for myself, I try to go for a TAILORED look. Two dear friends from Philadelphia, PA, send me wonderful T/LGB magazines that I learn a lot from. When I plan on visiting them, I hope I will have saved up some money to buy at some of the stores/boutiques featured in the magazines. Your friend, Monica

I agree Monica! This evening I was taken out to dinner by a couple of friends to a hip restaurant along Lake Washington. I wore sandals, skinny jeans, a pretty and flowery top, and a white sweater. We had a blast! It can be challenging to determine ones style and then making it a reality. I think it’s good advice to notice what others wear that you like and then to try to follow their lead. It’s expensive though and I was tempted to buy lesser quality clothing on Amazon among others. I’ve had a lot of success at women’s clothing consignment shops which try hard to carry quality items (which don’t sit around). Go often, experiment, and try not to buy anything - no matter how “cheap” - that you don’t absolutely love!

Dear Elsa, Steph and Emma, Sadly, I am acquainted with a Lesbian woman, who is being forced by her family to "go Straight." She used to be a "Heavy Butch," with a crew cut and wearing men's clothes. She was forced by her family to wear a feminine wig, until her hair grew out, now wearing a very feminine, curly haircut, dyed blond. Also, she is forced to wear very feminine clothes. She hates my guts, (she sees me on the bus), harassing me (the police is now involved), because, although I am not "flaming out," I am openly a Lesbian. Feel sorry for her, as all her behavior is at the behest of her family, except she takes it a step farther, having a boyfriend or husband. Apparently she was threatened with being disowned by her family. My family stopped short of forcing me to date/marry. Two deeply closeted Lesbians take me out once or twice a month (one of these times to a women's support group), and trying to help me find a girlfriend (whom I'm told will be deeply closeted, due to where I live). The fem is an executive secretary, and the butch, in the medical field. What is the upshot of all of this? Don't live a lie. Am on the waitlist for senior public housing in Burlington, VT and Seattle, WA, which may take years. May have to move sight unseen because of my very low income. For what it's worth, I see the T/LGB community as my family, not my family of origin. Your friend, Monica

Hi Elsa, Your story parallels mine in so many ways. I just turned 62 last weekend and started HRT 9 months ago while also transitioning to full time living as a woman. Self doubt was also a mainstay companion but those feelings have reduced so much. I’ve never felt better in my life,. I read about people feeling this way before of course and I didn’t really believe it. I thought they were experiencing a euphoria. Now I know that I was incorrect. People say we are brave and courageous and at times we are. It’s certainly a Hero’s Journey and I thank goodness I’m living it! I hope to read more about your experiences! Emma

Hiya Elsa. I don't Know if You are in the U.K. or U.S.A. !! I Am Stephanie, A 56 Year Old Trans'Female, and I AM in the U.K. I Am now over 3 Year's into My Transition, and I told My Now Estranged Wife, on the Evening of 30th. April, 2015; ( was aged 53 ), and I went the following Morning, ( 1st. May, 2015 ); and Bought loads of Underwear, and Clothes, and Nightwear, and I went Home, and I got changed into My New Clothes, then I went up to London, to Long Tall Sally, to buy Shoes. I went and told My Doctor's ( 67 Day's into My Transition, ) and they contacted The Gender Identity Clinic up in London, that Very Day, ( 25th. June, 2015). I have already had 3 appointment's at The G.I.C. Elsa, You Should try and find an L.G.B.T. Organisation, or Group, near where You live ! It is something that I Have done, and I Now have a Fairly Good support Network around Me ! You DO need a Support Network ! If You would like to contact Me at all, Please feel free to do so ! If You look at My Profile, it will tell You More ! If I can be of any Help. Or Advice, I will be. Elsa, Good Luck Young Lady. I hope that Everything goes Really Well for You ! Take Care Honey, And My Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. (Steph53 ). xx

Dear MichelleLea and Emma, Think looking APPROPRIATE and REALISTIC should be your goals looking like you are women, because you ARE women. Most older women emphasize CLOTHING and ACCESSORIES. Went out with my friend yesterday, and no one bothered us. She was a transwoman, aged 71, and I am a cisgender woman, aged 60. Try to get out with friends, as I find it so healing. Your friend, Monica

Good advice, as always. I recently read that envy is not necessarily a bad thing in that it points where we strive to be. I know I can't look like a woman, such as I am. I guess I can just try to be the best looking me while dressed--even if it's only for me. BTW, I'll let you know if I make my goal--a little distant, but who knows?

Congrats Elsa This is usually the point of must return, or well you end up in the oblivion that you and none of us could exist, just be a mere spec in the world that needs to be lived. Once you've got control of the psyche that wants to claim control and drag you down into that dark abis where not even light sheds any clear path to a return. Now keep growing the light, as the confidence in who you are will grow. Hugs Michele