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Okay, in my last blog I was about to close my business (November) and moved my "belongings" home not knowing when I would be able to resume presenting female if not only in private, but I did NOT purge as I had many times in the past. Hey I just turned 64😎, and there were many. Thank goodness😊. Since then, I have been dealing with a rather extreme life changing event, the kind that would cause anyone to reconsider if transitioning is the right course to continue. Well, prior to that I've had the opportunity to dress in private almost daily ( 5 out of 7 days a week) for two years, if only for short periods at a time. I've practiced make-up, the walk, the talk, the mirrors, the selfies, you get it, and I felt pretty confident that when I picked back up I would be ready to go. …..NOT! 😫. Well, have the house to myself (for the first time in my life!, almost,.... my son's been hanging around some❤️, Little more than a week ago I pulled the stash out from the boxes and dressed and made-up. UGH!😩 . Thought this ain't gonna work. CALL IT OFF! What am I doing????? I looked like an old man in drag! Took a day off and reflected, …..or meditated? Don't know which, but it worked. Haha. Tried again, took my time. Shaved my body, (yep, down there, too). Legs, armpits, chest, arms, back, etc. Eight days later only a little growing back down there; just shaved again today. The rest no sign of hair returning yet. Have lived most of the last week presenting female in private. Still have gone out presenting male on occasion to take care of errands, like getting contact lenses. Haha. Was a bitch trying to apply eye make-up when you can't see your eyes without glasses!👀 BTW they work! The optometrist didn't have a clue why a 64 year old guy would want contacts, but she's happy and I'm making another friend! Seems like everyone's so young these days and just wanna be friends 😊 . So, back at the house, could actually see my eyes and face applying makeup, and with the aid of some "face-lift tape" I looked 80-90% presentable. ( FFS is definitely in my future). Today, went out. I mean WENT OUT! 😍. Put on my best outfit, made myself up, right down to my nails, looked in the mirror, and decided I was ready. Haven't done that since I was 20 something, and then it was at night! Noon to two pm, ran some errands, took a drive, felt the cool crisp air. Nobody noticed and there were many that could have!!!! 😎. Came home, and logged into First Event to volunteer for the Convention. Jess,, feeling better ❤️ .

Hey Jess, Right on! It’s certainly scary to go out but with repetition it just becomes natural. That said I do enjoy choosing my outfit to fit my mood and the social situation I anticipate finding myself in. The more important thing: don’t look back, love looking forward, to being your authentic self. Sure, it’d be better had you done it long ago but that’s all in the past. I’ll be 63 in May, so we are close in age and experience. This afternoon I was at a friend’s who has an 11 year old trans daughter. I spent about an hour with her as she showed me how she operates an MIT program that she uses to write programs of her own. She’s so delightful, I’m so envious. She’s just over a half century younger than me, can you imagine? I decided to just enjoy my short time with her. I’m the surrogate grandma! Emma