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Christy, I think you are right on. "Being me" is the lifelong goal. As Renee Reyes put it, someone will always be prettier, faster, richer, smarter, or whatever. We only need to be our best selves. And, as you said, we can use envy to our advantage to emulate the qualities that we admire. As for me, I don't "present." I wear the clothes I feel comfortable in and often they are quite feminine. I like the look and feel. So there!

I’ve thought a lot about Jess’s post and the comments. I think I initially missed her point and now get it. I don’t “present” as a woman either. I’m just me, Emma, a woman going about her life. I’m not wearing a costume, they’re just clothes that I happen to like and feel good in. I suppose it wasn’t necessary for me to post this but hey, that’s why we have comments!

Well last weekend I had some plans that were sidelined by the Snowstorm. This weekend was open for me from Friday when I got home from work around noon, until tomorrow morning when I work again. Haha, was supposed to have retired, but helping out a business friend Mon-Fri, mornings, about 25-30 hours a week. Gives me some extra spending money and some much needed activity. So, this weekend I'm entirely living my life as Jess!💇‍♀️ Friday was rather uneventful, just real comfortable and relaxing. Saturday, some housework and got out for about 5 hours, ran some errands, window shopped, and to the store for some minor staples. The cashier commented that she loved my ring. Asked if was a real opal. I managed to feminize my voice ( slightly) and told her thank you, no it is just an inexpensive costume ring. That made me feel really good! It is a large very pretty ring that I wear on my right index finger. Only other ring I wear is my wedding band and diamond on my left hand. I don't care for wearing a lot of rings. Then I visited my best friend ever, (I visit her daily and tell her what's going in my life) 👼. She doesn't say much, but I know she's on board with me because some really awesome things have been happening to me lately😊. So last week I missed going to Church due to the snowstorm. Found a Unitarian Universalist Congregational Church a half hour from me in the same City that I've been window shopping in as Jess, What caught my eye is that they are an "LGBTQ welcoming congregation". So this morning got ready and went to Church! 🙏 Which is something because I haven't gone in over ten years despite being very active in the church I went to that many years ago. I figured it would probably be somewhat casual but I wore a modest black ribbed loosely fitting V-neck sheath dress, anyway. That is one of my favorite dresses; I feel totally natural in it., fits well and looks my age and style. My first time in a new church, too, out of respect, 2 inch heels, thigh high stockings (to make it easier to use the ladies room if I needed.) My coat, a wool blend long dress overcoat ( it is still frigid up here). I was the last one to enter right before service started and was seated next to a woman in her 50's?, maybe? She was super friendly throughout, we introduced ourselves, shared her hymnal with me, and chatted idly to help me to be comfortable. And I was very, very comfortable, too. The service was decent, not a whole lot about God, if anything, but mostly about community and everyone being one, total acceptance and inclusion. A lot about MLK, too. I would guess about 150 in the congregation, all ages, all socio-economic statuses. Dress was mostly casual, but I was not over dressed which I was happy about. The most significant thing about my experience, and I just can't get over it right now, was how nice it felt to be myself and around others, and talk to others, and be in fellowship with others "as Jess", people from all walks of life. I think it has to do with getting rid of the idea of "presenting female", and just being "Jess: it's like an epiphany for me! Okay and here is the best part. When the service ends we 're clearing the chairs for fellowship coffee ( I was gonna stay: I really WAS comfortable) and Amy introduces herself to me and asks if I would like to stay for coffee. Duh yeah!!! Amy is transitioning,, 30 something?, well into HRT, I think by her physical features. Anyway we talked for well over a half hour; she introduced me to about a dozen people. She is/was on the governing board of the church, and they have a support group that meets once a month. Jess being Jess 😍

I’d like to add that each of our authentic presentations is unique, and that’s wonderful. Speaking for myself determining that presenting (being) as a woman all the time was a bit surprising but now just feels natural. But women have many different styles and determining how I want to live in that spectrum is an ongoing adventure. I’m narrowing in and yet I’m drawn in many directions. My point is that it’s totally cool with me wherever feels right for you on the gender spectrum and within that where you reside. In fact I think it’s delightful that you’re thumbing your nose at the status quo. Be yourself, be Jess, always.

I understand and applaud you. Just present as Jess and screw the rest. The only important thing is for you to feel good in your own skin. Besides that nothing matters.