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Hi Emma; your reply really confused me. My original blog back in October was about not trusting people and not letting any one to close to me rather than "fear". Of course there are many things to fear and rightfully so, and perhaps we all grew up afraid someone would "find out"! I think in my life, and was only thinking about things in my life, that was predominantly the driving factor in why I would not let anyone really close to me, "the fear of someone finding out" I did not think I was being judgmental about anyone in particular and merely meant to convey that 8 months after that blog, and fully transitioned excepting the waiting period I'm required to endure for GRS. And now that I've come this far, I have no longer have an "inner circle" and it is quite an awesome feeling🕊️. Rest assured I do not bury fear with bluster.😍 Your friend, Jess

I get afraid a lot, even today when I talked with a therapist about some of my emotional baggage. I wish at times that I could be more steadfast that, screw it, I am authentically me, and if you don’t like it the heck with you. But that’s not my style and, again speaking only for me, claiming that fearlessness would be sweeping my true feelings under the rug. I think fear is normal and natural when humans face unknowns, are vulnerable, and claim authenticity that flies in the face of convention. Obviously, Jess, I’ve no idea what’s going on for and within you. But, if you are burying any fear with bluster, I suggest allowing yourself to feel and experience your fear and move through it which I’m sure you will.

Have just began going over my earliest blogs to see where I've been and compare it to where I am. I found this blog interesting; it no longer applies. Notably, I did take Christy's advice and have broken out from my "inner circle" since I posted this almost a year ago. Thank you Christy, Monica and Emma. "Inner Circle" Following 2 Entry posted by Jessicatoyou · October 9, 2018 193 views Add Tag Our "Inner Circle". A comment about inner circle recently that caused me to ponder further the meaning of the "inner circle" that each of us have. I have heard of this term throughout my life of 64 years, and also pondered it's meaning to me. My inner circle presumably is comprised of my true self, my thoughts, actions, expectations, goals, fears, regrets, my coping mechanisms, accomplishments and failures, those good and bad things in my own psyche, judged only by my own mind. I guard mine closely from attack from outside sources, other people, society, etc., because it is not considered "normal" by others' standards or there own "inner circle", nor exactly coincide with society' norms. No one's inner circle can be totally congruent with anyone else's and certainly not society as a whole. Yet a common theme in self acceptance therapies seems to be to allow people into your inner circle to achieve happiness and piece of mind. I don't believe that anyone will ever totally enter my inner circle; oh, I may allow others to approach it, but most will never get very close, a very few may. The closest to it was my wife. but she never really stepped into it because she never knew of my dysphoria. The opportunity for that, unfortunately, has passed. As I continue on life, others will approach my inner circle but truly they will not be permitted in, unless I believe they are worthy of it and a very high level of trust is formed. That is not a bad thing, just a reality in preserving my self worth and being and general happiness. While I hope someone may come closer than my wife did, none ever may and I'd be good with that, too. I'm at peace with my inner circle and that is what matters. Jessica