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KarenPayne

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Blog Entries posted by KarenPayne

  1. KarenPayne

    What do you think

    By KarenPayne,

    My best female friend whom we both see each other as sisters expressed to me that I should write my life story down that encompasses everything (well except for things I have non-disclosure agreements for e.g. work done for the military as a contracter).
    My first thought was there are many others like me, what makes my story different. She said that 1. did it at the right time 2. did not let anything stop me 3. had a positive attitude. Event with that there are still many like me so I am asking what others think.
  2. KarenPayne

    My new birthday

    By KarenPayne,

    I was born September 24, 1956 but have now declared my new birthday as January 27 as this is the date to commemorate my correct gender. I was surprised that on Facebook they allow you to change your birthday up to three times while I figured unless you have done something along the lines of what I did you would get it right the first time. Some might have issues with changing one's birthday yet I don't. Along the same lines when I changed my gender marker and first name I changed my last name too as this (at least for me) was one more thing what had to be done to wash away my former identity.
    Something for you to consider or not, changing one's last name might be right for you. The single downside when I did this was my login name at work did not change because after working there for 20+ years it would be a real chore to apply all my security settings. This is no different than a female married, takes the husbands last name, same applies so it's nothing to do with changing gender (way of topic).
    Up side is I have two birthdays in 12 months woo-hoo.
  3. KarenPayne
    I was coming home from the grocery store and thought "I have not been to the toy store recently, think I will stop in for a few minutes".
    So I walk in, young female sales person greets me "HI how are you doing today", I replied "Great", next comes "if there are any questions or if you want something opened let me know".
    I said, just browsing, nothing in particular.
    So I first go to the female toys, about two minutes go by and she comes over and said what do you think of this? She has what looks like a normal dildo but then said "hold on to it and shake it". Well I was not expecting what happened next. I said my favorite toy was, pointed to it. She says, I see you have a high end taste. I came back and said, sure makes traffic jams more pleasant.  (note, there are no other customers in the store).
    She walks away with the interesting toy, I move down and start to check out the strap on equipment, I look up and she is about four feet from me so I said, which one do you like? No hesitation, she pointed out the one she uses and we get into a discussion over other ones. Must have pulled out four of them and LOL we are both pulling them up over our jeans, mind you both of us are standing in the backend of the store with strap-ons having a discussion and a male customer walks in. She say "Want to play", customer "Jaw drops",. me, I turn around and we kiss. Male customer, "oh my". So she takes off the toy and calmly walks up to him and said "what can I do for you today", male customer "I am lost, after seeing what you two did I completely forgot what I came in for.
    I walk up to the door and said to her, "was nice meeting you", she, "same here, winks her eye", him while looking at her, "you don't know her?", her, now I do.
    So did I leave empty handed, all depends on one's perspective.
     
  4. KarenPayne

    Low odds but cheap

    By KarenPayne,

    The majority who are transgender that want to have surgery don't have funds to move forward. The best path is to be diligent and save money for surgery and not lost focus on the end goal. One day you might have nothing to contribute while other times a few dollars. No matter it adds up in time and the key is time.
    There are no magic path other than saving money but if you have two dollars to spare then by all means get a Power ball ticket for tomorrow's lottery, 450 million dollars. I might play the lottery once every couple of years but think this one is worth playing even though there are low odds of me winning.
    What would I do if I won? Put my lottery ticket in my safe deposit box, tell absolutely nobody I had a winning ticket. Go about my daily life while seeking out someone to manage my money without disclosing I won the lottery. Once you are known as a winner everyone becomes your friend so I would immediately move, don't know where but would be someplace I was not known for winning the lottery. After that I would plan out my next moves. I would plan out my future very carefully by all means.
    Any ways, got two dollars, take a chance.  
  5. KarenPayne

    Coming to an end

    By KarenPayne,

    Well 2015 is coming to a close, have squeezed a lot into this year in regards to surgeries, lots of paperwork and a brand new car and very satisfied with the results. Four years ago this was entirely a dream, seemingly out of reach because I could not give up what I had in regards to teaching self-defense but then realized that I had crammed many years into teaching and as much as I enjoyed teaching I could finally kiss it goodbye to make myself happy overall.
    My guess is that many wrestle with similar aspects when they are certain that transitioning is right for them and hope that those riding the line, struggling with making the decision to move forward do so and don't procrastinate but instead stall progress if they feel as I did, unsure what the future might be. For many uncertainty is "will I still have a job", "acceptance from family and friends", "emotional battles from waiting" etc.
    I know my surgery was right from many telling me I look content, smile (was told I rarely smiled) often, love female privilege, learning to leave male privilege behind as if I never had them.
    I do struggle with silly things like being able to play guitar with decent length nails, changing pads often when wearing a thong (took a long time to master the back end of the pad), what clothes should I wear today (and rummage through through clothes on the floor often rather than the closet), did I wear that outfit already this week?
    My taste in movies has change, last night I watched "the age of Adaline" which I would had never watched two years ago but now would even consider purchasing it. I watched it for a dollar so even if I didn't like it no big deal.
    I experience life completely different emotionally both good and bad. There are day that all I want to do is stay in bed and most times have no clue why while 99 percent of the time I am very happy.
    Still more attracted to females than males and there has been several times in the past few months I was putty to both genders.
    I am fully embracing life both good and bad and excited for what comes next.
  6. KarenPayne

    Karen 1.1

    By KarenPayne,

    It's been ten months since gender reassignment surgery and during that time had breast augmentation to complete things, so I thought. Although not physical I now know my sports car has changed me a great deal mentally.
    What follows next can only be seen and heard so stay tuned for a audio/video for the next evolution of Karen 
  7. KarenPayne

    What a twist

    By KarenPayne,

    Facebook did it's thing and did a life event for my ex-wife as seen in the snapshot below. The first reply is her sister (whom I am actually friends with on Facebook) and the second her. Of course she married me but not as Karen lol.
     
  8. KarenPayne

    Simply horrible

    By KarenPayne,

    While performing some research I came across a memorializing for 2015 for trans-people who were murdered because they were different and society perpetuates the core problem which truly needs to change in the home before we see a drop in murders.
    Some of the deaths were horrendous, being run over by a vehicle multiple times, being stoned to death, burned to death, strangulation.  I was not surprised which countries the murders happened and kind of numb in regards to how these murders were done which in and of itself is scary. Not being numb comes from things I have been involved with not related to these tragedies so all I can do is try and guess at what goes through the minds and hearts of their love one’s.
    This is the page for 2015 with statistics going back to 2007.
    The general public needs to take note that the majority of trans people are transgender because of a chemical imbalance in their brain. Many times work in the sex trade because they have no choice or have no self esteem because family, friends and those whom they are in contact with see and treat them as trash because they are afraid of things they don’t understand and the big one is it’s how they were raised. 
  9. KarenPayne

    Just had a thought

    By KarenPayne,

    I was reading another blog post that lead to another off-site post and just had this epiphany that be it wrong or right to think this way but I don't consider myself transgender for a long time now but never actually came to terms in writing before. I go through my daily life as any other female would. Heck today I spent an unGodly amount of money on makeup today, 64 dollars. When I got to the counter I must of had  a face that begged to ask me "is your day going okay?: I said up to now, jeez, never realized how much makeup cost and I only purchased it for an event tomorrow and will never use it again NO wait I will because it cost so much. Last time I wore makeup was over 15 years ago. So I went home and spent an hour with the makeup. Then I remember at my best friend's house yesterday she said her daughter spends hours on doing her face, I said, not me, never. Baaaahhhh look at me today, eyeshadow, foundation, top and powder and lipstick. Came out well but then I learned it takes a good deal of time taking it off but that didn't bother me because "I am a girl" and the process was well worth the effort experimenting as I did my eye's twice.I remember back 15 years ago I would impatient doing my makeup but now I am content taking time to get it right but 64 dollars yeek. 20 dollars was spent on one brush alone but worth it (I guess).
    Anyways as I look back to before GRS and now lots of little things have changed and now taking notice of them. Girls my guess is that some of you will travel down the same path, one day stuck in the wrong body and flash you are sitting in a chair legs in the proper place, hands cupped then someone says something that invokes an emotion and one hand goes to your chest then you mutter a gasp followed by your hand covering your mouth delicately. It might dawn on you later that oh my god I am where I should had been all my life.  
  10. KarenPayne

    Interview at Microsoft

    By KarenPayne,

    Several weeks ago I attended a week long summit at Microsoft for MVP recipients of just under 3,000 people and out of the 3,000 less than five percent were female. The woman on the far right is a Microsoft employee that has a section on what is called Channel 9 (part of Microsoft) that is devoted to to females as developers and innovators in the field. We met in passing at the beginning of the week then the next day she asked me to participate in a interview. She actually got the majority of females to participate so she segmented us into groups of three so she could get all of us on camera.
    There was around 20 minutes cut from the video which did not fit into the topics that were all girl talk and some other topics which all I can say is "what happened in the room stayed in the room".
    Going in I did not indicate I was once male but at one point it made sense in that my old male mindset could contribute to the conversation. If you watch the video note there is no surprise and that the women doing the video said she would had never guessed it. Afterwards the two woman on my right said they had no clue until I said my former life was of a male.
    The woman with the short hair is a lesbian which I learned from her becoming a Twitter friend and also from chatting with her on a Microsoft bus headed back to a building where the main events were being held.
    After watching the video I was not happy with my posture and voice (voice was okay but needs more work) but then again we are our worst critics. On a side note as planned two years ago I have made an appointment with a voice therapist in January to work on my voice. I chatted with the therapist several weeks ago, we discussed her plans with me, she has worked with trans people before. An hour time is $70-90, a sliding scale. I indicated to her that my goal was to not strive for the best but to strive for acceptable for what I am capable of without pushing the limits.
    On a comical note, the little rubber figures on the table may seem odd but they are given out to people who had been interviewed and well sought after so I cherish mine.
  11. KarenPayne

    Thankful

    By KarenPayne,

    I am thankful for many things today.
    Heading off to a friend's home to spend Thanksgiving. Not looking to the driving but love this family as the entire family has been super supportive of me. The children range between 16 and 25, when I told them they said we support and never talk about me as a male, the female says I have great fashion sense and we even talk about girl stuff. The mother flew down to California to be with me the day of surgery and two days afterwards. She was also there for me for three days recovering from breast augmentation. So I am thankful to this family over the past few years as a female and about 6 years prior in my former life.
    Have a date after visiting with the family above, have been with this woman before and would had taken her to the gathering but she is in a field where she has to work today.
    I am coming up to 12 months since gender reassignment surgery and so happy beyond belief.
    Hope everyone is with someone today which I know may not be possible but still hope it's possible as being alone on holidays such as this can be depressing and that is no good.
  12. KarenPayne
    I remotely remember writing this and that it might take a while for them to decide to publish it but today I received an email indicating they had published it.
    Personally the reason was not to shed light on me but to show others what is possible else I just assume be private about this.
    http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/projects/storywall/transgender-today/stories/karen-payne
     
  13. KarenPayne
    I really don’t get it, over the past year men send me friend request on Facebook that are looking to date. Guess may be (not really) it partly my fault, should have a banner saying “Hey I was male but now female” in that I have no desire to date men but will admit to having a fling with one is just fine, otherwise I am on the other end of the spectrum, lesbian with a smidgen of bi .

    When I was male and wanted to date a female I first make sure she was into men on her profile and was not currently dating someone. Seems that the men who ask for friend request never think to look at a woman’s preference in regards to does she like men, woman or perhaps both. Instead they seem to simply come back with something like the following which I got today.

    Him: I was searching for old friends here and came across your picture and have to say you are beautiful. Now stop there, I consider myself average or below average in looks so don’t give me that kind of talk.

    Keeping with the above I came right back at him and said “I was born male and now female”, I am mostly into woman.

    I thought it would stop there but he comes back without saying anything about me once being male and says “So are you available, I would love to take you on a date”.

    Me: Just to make this clear, you got the part about I was male. Him: Thanks for telling me, I did read that and was taken back for a second or two but you are now female now right? So I am still interested, no need to bring up your past unless you truly want too.

    So I replied back (truthfully) that I was heading off with a sports car club for a morning ride. He comes back and says okay.

    So I stopped the chatting but thought to myself (yes I am lesbian/bi) God he is handsome, I would be a fool not to give him a chance but need to exchange more email messages first to get a handle on him.

  14. KarenPayne
    Wow, just about ten months since my reassignment surgery. 
    In no special order somethings I have noticed.
    Yes I admit this, have gained 20LB since December when I was weighed last. My doctor said it's the hormones. So without hesitation I started running for 45 minutes each day and completely cut out anything one would consider food that encourages weight gain. The nice thing (if there is any) is that the weight is evenly distributed because if nothing else I still fit into my clothes and only really feel it slightly in my legs. My goal over the next six months is to lose not only the 20LB but another 10LB. A nice thought, while getting my nails done this week one of the girls there said I rocked it with my outfit last time I was in. I admitted to her about my weight gain and she said you look fine for your height and would not worry about your weight sigh, give that girl a hug. Last year at this time I would always put on jeans or leggings for the weekend day but now have changed to tights and shirts, for me at least they are much easier to do when I am lazy. Speaking lazy, I mentioned this before but will again, after work and not planning to go out I disrobe and go about my business in my underwear, something as a male I would never dream of. My emotions were never all over the place like I hear from some who are transitioning or have transitioned, still waiting for it but has not happened. Perhaps (and thinking what my doctor said two years ago) it's because I mastered to some degree my emotions be it good or bad or it's how I was made and raised. Sure I get emotional from time to time and sometimes can not control them but that is once in a blue moon. This morning I was watching a movie and yes the tears came rolling down my face so yes the hormones are surely working. Genital stuff, not much going on inside my vagina but boy or boy is there a lot going on with my clit, there are times when I can't keep my hand off it and times when a partner will take advantage of me while pleasuring me. Marci Bower's assistant told me that don't expect much going on inside and that it takes 10 to 12 months to see. So I believe I have enough there, could had more but heck I am happy as a clam with what I got woohoo. I never have to think about things like "is my voice okay" or "does my attire suit someone of my age". Speaking of age I am 59 and passing for 45-50 which is great. I decided that even though my voice is acceptable voice lessons are going to be done starting in a few weeks. There is a good deal going on in that department to pass with tone and resonance plus a tad more. I am fortunate to have found someone close by that has experience with male to female clients. Still not into wearing makeup but do love a nice perfume. Yes permanent cosmetics for eyeliner and brows was one of the best decisions I have made. More electrolysis, I am so done with shaving underarms so I am having them done. Passing and being made, distant fleeting words. Over the past year or so nobody has given me a look like "male or female". Have not lost any friends over the past few months and actually had two co-workers who did not talk to me for around four months now making conversation with me with them starting it "What". I am sure there are things I am missing, sure hit the publish button and they will come screaming out, go figure.
    So there you have it, spilling out the good and bad, it's good to get things out into the open if not for peace of mind but to let others know and if it happens to you it's okay but please don't hold it inside as it will only hurt thinking about bad things.
    Now off to do my daily run and day dream about an attractive female I am having fun with recently and questionable thought about a new male friend on Facebook.
     

        
  15. KarenPayne
    I had several free hosting of web sites on Comcast for many years that worked great but two weeks ago was told someone could not access the site. So I contacted their customer support via phone and got nowhere. Called again, no luck, visited the local office, no luck. Went to their forums and posted a question, how can I get to my files as some were not backed up locally.
    A member contacted me who seems to know a great deal about this and said you may be out of luck but said to try another member which I did. The other member got me in contact with a level 1 tech (they are nearly impossible to get a hold of and she sent me an email indicting to link in links provided and download the files.
    My point in writing this here is sometimes one needs to not give up even when a call to customer services tells you that those file servers are long gone. This is not the first time I had to keep going and persist with issue with Comcast but 99 percent of the time this is not the case.
     
    NOTE it is going to take time for me to edit blog post I have here that had pictures from the Comcast site to make them display again but will be doing so once I have a new host.
    TESTING: The image below was posted to Microsoft OneDrive then embedded here.
     
     

  16. KarenPayne
    Seems Comcast has taken down all personal web sites without notifying me and this is were I stored pictures. The majority of these pictures are only stored there. So all pictures I have posted here will not show.
    I called into Comcast and at this point they are clueless but I did a Google search and it appears that they discontinued the personal web sites yet the Comcast help desk person has no clue to this.
    PISSED BIG TIME
    Just got off the phone with Comcast and they said they would have a tech look into this. If I can get my images back I will purchase space on a provider's site that will allow me to create a home page along with having the ability to provide links to images so that they can be viewed on other sites such as this one. I am not holding my breath here, just wishful thinking that they can get me my images.  
  17. KarenPayne
    From yesterday until Thursday I am in Seattle Washington at Microsoft offices part of recognizing MVP (Microsoft Valued Professionals). This morning I "liked" one of the tweets and the woman must have looked at my Twitter profile and asked if she could interview me where the interview would be posted on one of Microsoft web sites. Of course I accepted and once the interview has been uploaded I will provide a link here but be forewarned it's geek topic   
    On the ways back to my hotel I was added to a special group on Twitter which has nothing to do with my transition and then got a message from the chef making remarks that he liked me.
    Tonight they are having us (2,000) to one hotel for a party, should be interesting so I am off to change into a nice business like skirt, medium conservative heels and cardigan. 
  18. KarenPayne

    Hair salon

    By KarenPayne,

    Since I am leaving for a week long trip in Seattle I wanted my hair to look great so I went to the hair salon to have a professional conditioning done and bangs trimmed. 
    They wash my hair, put the conditioner in then under a dryer.
    When I get out from the dryer one of the regular stylist comes over and says "I didn't see you come in or see your name in the computer, how are you?" We chatted for a bit then we get talking about sex and trade a few stories having great jiggling going on. This leads into her asking me, is sex better as a man or a female? I said the male side is pretty much the majority of pleasure is when climaxing while as a female my entire body is involved and last longer but not very much sensation inside as most is from my clit but this may change as my surgeon indicated it may take up to a year to have sensation inside.
    Then we get into a conversation about how she feels about men in general and we go down that path with me providing perspective from living on both sides of the fence.
    One of the other stylist heard me at one point talking about my new Miata and one thing lead to another and I took the one (whom I mentioned above) out for a spin in my car. As she was getting out of the car she said she always enjoys talking with me which made me feel good.
    So now I need to do some packing even though I don't leave for my trip until early Sunday morning I am the type to be ready well in advance.
  19. KarenPayne
    Many years ago prior to my real life test I would go out dressed with no fear except when leaving and returning home. If I was wearing any type of heels that made noise as most do I would avoid landing on the heel and tippy toe inside my house. Have not done that for many years.
    So today I wear a nice pair of business style pumps and while walking along a hallway found myself tippy toe for a few steps. I thought to myself, WTF then had one of those moments "yes this was from back in the day when I would tippy toe back into my house.
    Luckily nobody saw me do that because that would be awkward.
    So later I walk into the section I work in and one of the ladies there said "Karen", I turn to see what she wants. She says you are wearing FM heels! I said what? she repeated herself and she smiles. Okay, tell me what FM means. She said they are F*** ME signals in regards to my heels to men. I countered and said, there is nothing sexy about these heels. She said it doesn't matter they are still FM heels. We both had a laugh then I said, what if I change into my flats. Without skipping a beat she said, then after a smoke too (you know, many have a cigarette after sex) and we both laughed again. So after lunch I walked into her cube with flats on as I always have a pair in my car trunk (or boot) and did not say a word. She finally looks down and cracks up. Me thinking "I nailed it". 
  20. KarenPayne

    Saturday drive

    By KarenPayne,

    Yesterday met up with the local Miata club, normally there are about five or six cars but yesterday there were 15 cars. With that there were many new people I got to meet and not one of them as with the members I met already had anything to say about me other than what someone would say to a cisgender female.
    We start off with a sit down in a restaurant for about 10 to 30 minutes chit chatting then hit the road normally for one to four hour drive through the countryside. Each time  so far it's a different route. 
    Yesterday I asked, how long of a ride is it today? I was informed it would be pretty much the entire day.
    We hit the main highway for about two hours then off into the backcountry for about an hour at which time we took a rest stop. I was the car directly behind the lead car, had not met him till yesterday. He said that my driving was great but at one point he lost sight of me. I told him that the others were lagging behind so I wanted to keep sight of them. He said, they know the way and they would caught up to us here.
    He then said I was a tad back during the last leg of the run and I said I thought it was the right distance between cars. He said, heck you can get closer. So then everyone was ready he said "the boss is getting back in the car and heading off" I jumped in my car and with the thought in mind that I could stay close to him I did.
    For the next 40 to 50 minutes we ran through some pretty exciting twist and turns in the road, got to the next spot to meet up with the rest of the group, got out of our cars and I said I think they must be about 15 minutes behind us when he asked me how far do you think they are behind us?
    He then told me about how he learned to drive like he does and then said I was a natural. He said "no matter what I did I you were right on my tail where many others would never keep up with me.
    It was 13 minutes by the time the others caught up and they said, it's time for lunch so off we drove another 20 minutes and hit a bar. While eating two of the seasoned members told me I am ready to lead the group on a run whenever I am ready (yes I was smiling big time).
    As I see it my driving skills throughout my life were crippled only by the cars I had and their ability to do regular style driving. Ever since my second run with the group I have been right in the world I should had been decades ago.
    Any ways on the way home I was asked if I wanted to be the lead driver and did so which was great. I will admit what I need to be lead driver at the start is learning the routes which is going to take a few more runs.
    When I returned home my car was absolutely dirty so I washed it, had a quick dinner and went to bed early happy how the day turned out.
    The milestones are piling up nicely for less than a year after surgery.
     
  21. KarenPayne
    I get in the shower, wash my hair which is done every week and sometimes two weeks. Stare at myself in the mirror and think, I am bored with my hair color and need to change it to simply blonde rather than blonde with a tad of brownette.
    So I waited until my fav salon opened, two hours later and went in, chatted with my stylist and she told me what she would do for me. Well three hours later we finished up and I am very happy with the results (need to take a picture still).
    Two hours is when I need to get out of the chair, went outside and by accident my thumb touched my still wet hair and did not noticed for about 30 minutes, eek, damage done, my gorgeous nail was now smeared with hair coloring so once finished I went to the nail salon, for them it was less than five minutes. She uses a Dremel to remove the color, puts on a new top coat then one minute for the clear coat to dry. They never charge me so that was nice.
    Any ways those dang hormones are too blame for me spending $150 to get my hair done where if I simply had a touch up done the cost would be about 40-50 dollars. Girls, I would not have it any other way, just that over the past six months (and my hair stylist thinks the same) I am doing crazy things that pregnant woman do. Now I will really be upset if I get cravings for  pickles and icecream  
    EDIT
    Well I swear, started out the day in a black skirt, black tights, black top and flats for getting my hair done. Came home to wash the car and changed into tennis shoes, shorts and the same top. Now my brain says,  off with the shorts and bring on the capri's and red flats. I am such a girl.
  22. KarenPayne

    Boot shopping

    By KarenPayne,

    On Thursday I noticed the heel on one of my best boots the bottom part was coming off. I managed to fit it back together yet realized it would eventually be unrepairable. So yesterday morning I headed off to Macy's knowing there was a decent sale on shoes/boots and this is where I purchased the current pair.
    I believe my choice in an outfit was great, nice pair of leggings which is what I would wear with boots, snakeskin mid height heels, tank top and a cardigan. In less than two minutes a gorgeous late twenty female sale person asked if I needed help. Told her my intent and she said that if I needed any help to wave to her. 
    After about ten minutes she came back over and mentioned that the two pairs of boots I was looking at she had last year and proceeded to tell me about them. The thing that really got me was how she was looking at me like she could eat me up in bed and felt great. We chatted for about five minutes and then asked if I could try both pairs on. Since I know how shoe sizes go I asked to try a 9 and 9.5. 
    She comes back with one pair in 9, one pair in 9.5, get the same look of I could eat you up. 
    So I try both pairs at once and of course can't decide which pair and that one size feels slightly tight and the other slightly too large.
    She comes back and in short recommends I get the 9.5 giving a few reasons why. I said sold.
    At the counter after completing the transaction she gives me her personal number and said don't hesitate to call me with a coy smile. I leave feeling good with options going through me head.
    On the way out an older couple are at the door, the man waits for me holding the door and when I get there he takes his hat off and says good day too you, how is your day going. I said thank you and that my day was great. I mention this because it's not everyday a man takes his hat off for me or for that matter never seen this outside of a movie
    Returned home and compared the new boots with the old boots and noticed they were the same brand which is good as the old pair served me well, pretty much wore them three or four times a week over the past year.
    Now thinking about calling the woman who helped me and see what happens but still not sure if I will or not.
     
     
  23. KarenPayne
    I just watched the video below which some might think is boring yet in my mind is well worth the time and energy to sit down and watch. They talk equally to M-F and F-M. There are many who think they have it rough today but I believe after watching this video you will think differently.
    One transgender, April, she is the epitome of making the right decision and is gorgeous to boot. I did learn that in a James Bond movie there was a transgender  and is was very hot. Of course not all transgender can be hot but it's nice to see some just the same.
     
     
  24. KarenPayne

    Halloween

    By KarenPayne,

    I use to find halloween a sanctum for no-bars outings before gender reassignment surgery. Would dress up, go to work then out to parties or bars and be extremely happy in that nobody would bother me, a male dressed as a female.
    My first time in Oregon, I dressed in a just above the knee skirt, white blouse and high heel pumps that I would call very business-like where many employees did not recognize me. Heck even one hit on me.
    This halloween will be my first as a female and the year before it was during my real life test.
    What I am doing this year? For the first time in 15 years giving out candy to neighborhood children early evening and then off to a local bar to meet up with a female friend. In one respect drab, no exhilarating push of adrenaline coursing through my veins for the sheer thrill of dressing as a female but instead perhaps my costume might be enough, a twenties flapper.
    For those who have not gone under the GRS knife and plan on going out, best wishes to you!!!      
  25. KarenPayne

    Casual sex

    By KarenPayne,

    Well as most know it's not easy to meet someone even as cis-gender. I know from when I was male and attempted to lead that life. Pretty much had a girlfriend after my divorce from 2000 to 2012 but the majority of them were in another town, Portland which is a 20 minute drive or out in the sticks, closer but not much better. I always wanted to have a relationship with a female that was close to home but that never happened. I was not into casual sex but wanted to be in some type of relationship.
    From 2012 until three months or so ago I realized the same thing was true, hard to find a man or female close by that I was attracted too and could speak intelligent, hold a decent conversation.
    So over the past month I have been "playing the field" for both genders. I found one female that I get along fine with and the same with one man. 
    Had to weed out a lot of people just to find these two and not fully committed to either one, guess I am a tad bit picky and have the right to be.
    I met a man last night at a bar, and I was horny and was not looking for anything past a casual encounter. Well I really hit the jackpot with this one, he was such a gentleman the entire night. Went back to his place and was taken back a bit to see his package, I did not measure but think it was eight inches and safe to say I made sure he made good use of it several times.  He was the first man that know more than three positions and was very happy about that along with my pleasure came first. After the first go-around I laid there pleasuring myself which in turn got him ready again and it was great yet another time. 
    Oh, with a long penis comes a wider penis and I had zero issues other than the length at some points was hitting against the back wall but what would a girl to think a eight inch penis is going to make it back there without knocking the back wall which is why other positions are good for a penis that length. Girls, in this case size did matter, especially width as I have little sensation there and a ton of sensation in my clit that can keep going and going, makes my body shake and toes curl in a great way.
    I should mention that after telling him about my past it was not a problem. He did say at first, you are playing a joke on me, I can't believe you were once male. I feel it's important to disclose to someone that you might get intimate with about one's past but if not and never plan too than mums the word.   
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