WarrenG

Well hopefully when I get my STP, I wont have to deal with those nasty toilets again XD which will be awesome lol Anything the STP cant handle, I'll just wait until I get home ROFL

Also to note that I just ordered my first STP (stand to pee) device, YAY XD No more sitting on gross men's toilets!! (seriously, why cant they clean the mens bathrooms as well as they do the women's?)

XD i cheated and bought a tie that zips tight or loose LOL get it? ZIP TIE HAHAHAHA. I'm easily amused....

Well... it has been my experience that when these "claims" and accusations of inadequacy, ineptitude and attitude start coming out of the woodwork - suddenly, without warning, viciously and especially by more than one superior... they are trying to stack a case against an employee in an attempt to have good reason to fire the employee

My thoughts exactly. Theyre trying to convince the higher beings that I'm coping attitude and such so they can fire me.

gofundme.com/m32ybc pathetic but I've started to run out of options >.> why do I feel so horrible for trying this?

Sadly there are no HL's in my area :/ My choices are limited to Walmart and Target that are in my driving range unless I drive about an hour, even then I get Michaels (super expensive) and Kmart. I dont think I'll spend too much to just try this out, and see how it goes. But I will certainly keep the bulk option in the back of my mind in case this works better than I think it will.

Warren

Did your therapist give you an emergency number to call if you have a crisis? Perhaps that would be good to do. Or, what about the Transgender Suicide number? I'm not sure if it's only good for US residents. Okay, maybe you're not suicidal (I hope not) but you sound very very upset and need someone to talk to.

She only told me that if I ever had any problems emotionally or need someone to talk to, call 911. Yeah....right. Thanks doc

I'm not suicidal but I just hit really low, low points.

New pics in my gallery ;)

its in my gallery XD i might post the before shot of where it got messed up XD

GOT THE HAIR FIXED, THANK GAWD!!! Shortest ive ever had it and I LOVE IT!!! Will update my profile pic soon

Warren

You guys make me laugh XD I get the email notifications of comments in my email on my ipod while I'm at work so I stay caught up, and you guys always make me smile

Warren

Yes please!!

Warren

p.s.

I just bought a few sports bras to wear under my binder thingie. OMG It took me forever, i forgot the sizing stuff! So awkward buying that stuff >.<

I think we all do it at least a little bit. But I still say that it is mostly girls who do it XD

Warren

We've talked....enough, I guess. It sort of seems like its not a subject he wants to discuss too much. He says hes open to the conversation and I know he tries really hard to understand and listen, but you can tell from the look on his face that the whole time hes hoping I'll just stop.

Went great in new blog >>>> :P

So glad I'm not alone on this subject I've actually considered buying one of those "stand'n'relieve" things from walmart's camping section XD hope that's not weird of me lol

What's up dude! Totally got you on this one. Its like "I'm lying to people...but am I lying? This is who I am. Wait dont tell them!!"

I struggle with that every day too bro. Especially at work. Keep your chin up, we'll get through it :] I'm glad your girlfriend is super supportive. As long as you've got at least one person to help you out, you dont have to hold the world on your shoulders. Hit me up if you ever need to talk. And for star sake, abuse that blog button! Helps a ton

Warren

I wouldnt know where to start on paper, to be honest. And its not that I mean to "play the game". It's sort of become my automatic social defense. I dont want to break out of my shell sometimes, so I just put the mask on and bull**** everyone into thinking I really dont give a ****.

I dont want to waste my time and money (because I dont have much of them, to be honest) but me actually sitting down face to face with a total stranger and talking to them about all this is not going to go well.

I cant do physically being near someone for serious social interaction.

I get nervous and anxious just thinking about it.

Thanks for the compliment though,

Warren

Just because I know myself, I can honestly say I'll probably just throw my mask back on and play the whole "i dont need a therapist, im good, i promise" crap -_-

Tuesday the 18th. I cant make it any sooner because I have to work. As it is, I'll be losing at least three hours at work for the appointment.

Wish there were more "like buttons"

Another great song that has gotten me through some hard times. Jessie J's song "Who you are"

Yeah my boyfriend knows, and hes not too pleased about it either. He realizes that not only does this emotionally hurt me like crazy...but now more people probably know about my situation.

They told me that if I recieved more notes, to let them know. But I didnt want to recieve more notes. I didnt want to read those things again.

So I took away the locker, so they couldnt send them anymore.

I'm too afraid to back into that room. I dont want to ever step foot in another womens locker room again. I dont belong in there, they're right about that part. Even I know that. But where else am I to go? Obviously not the men's locker room...

I'm trying to remain calm on the situation and not stoop to their level, but its hard. I have such a short temper, and this hurt me to no end. Seven little words. Seriously...that's it. Yet it felt like they physically beat me to a pulp.

My biggest problem isnt physical violence. It's not emotional outbursts. It's my past that I worry about.

My self harm. I've done good so far, over a month harm-free. But this...This has pushed me over the limit. Tonight's going to be a long night.

Warren

Sidenote: Out of fear of more notes, I have surrendered my locker to a coworker who wanted one, and emptied it completely tonight.

I dont want it...not after this.

So now I have to change into my chef's gear at home, and keep all my uniforms in my car.

:(

Dearest Emma,

Loved this!

And your lovely photo is actually a female Scarlet Ibis, I believe

-Warren