Chrissy

That's correct - it was "maximum" of course, but I doubt the minimum is low enough either

Brigsby,

Wow, I would like to say that I can't believe that line of questioning (about masturbation, etc.), but sadly I can.  I could see some questioning of sexual interest and/or fantasies, but positions!?!?  Wow.

I was discussing that part of the procedure with my therapist the other day and the fact that you need letters from 2 people to be approved for surgery.  Neither of us knew if that meant I'd have to see a second psychologist (or something) for a few months.  When I see my endocrinologist next week I'm going to ask about surgeon referrals so that I can start talking to them about what exactly is required.

It sounds like at least in that area our 2 countries are similarly annoying (to say the least) about the process.  "Informed consent" should really be enough.  I'm a f*@#ing adult!!!

Anyway - good luck!

Christie

Warren,

That's so great to hear about your job!  Having a supportive work environment is so incredibly helpful (my own has been, some people here seem almost excited about it).

It seems strange that top surgery would have an HRT requirement, after all there are certainly women who get it done who aren't transgender.  And it seems like even if you weren't transgender it would be something you'd want.

And that was a great video - and once again well-timed, at least for me (I recall your video explaining pansexual vs. bisexual happened right after I had been thinking about the subject, mere hours earlier).  I filed my name change papers in New Jersey this week - I'm changing to Christie Anne (Christie was my birth middle name, Anne just sounded good - and it's Debbie Gibson's middle name, without the "e").

The filing fee in NJ is $250, and you also have to publish in a statewide newspaper both the court date (in case anyone wants to object) and when it's finalized, which I've been told typically takes about 4 months, so I should have it done around November (which works out nicely, by then I should be on HRT for a couple of months).  In case anyone else reading is in NJ, here's a link to the name change paperwork -

https://www.judiciary.state.nj.us/prose/10551_namechg_adult.pdf

xoxo

Christie

Eve,

I'm sorry to see you go!  I've enjoyed reading your entries, though I know I don't always comment (I'm rather hot and cold about that in general, I often feel like I'm so early in my own transition that I wouldn't have anything useful to add).

I wish you the best!

xoxo

Christie

Eve,

I also recently contacted my brother to let him know (admittedly via email).  I don't anticipate his reaction being very supportive, but with him and my sister I'm not that concerned, we haven't been close in a number of years.

And yes, "rest room" means "toilets"  :-)   And you're correct, women here don't tend to do that (I guess I can't speak on that with authority just yet, but it seems unlikely).

Christie

I just took the quiz and got "strong femme" (33-40, so it was just outside of androgynous).

Tara,

Thank you so much for sharing - it was incredibly interesting!  Especially as I'm moving towards HRT shortly (in the next few weeks) and am starting to think seriously about GRS.  Reading about personal experiences is so incredibly helpful (recognizing that everyone's experience is a little different).

xoxo

Christie

Eve,

On your question about transitioning and helping others understand there are of course multiple variations.  When it's family and friends I think one of the more important things is giving them time, but without hindering your own transition in the process.  For me that's mainly about my sister, who responded the most negatively (actually she's been the only direct negative reaction I've had).  But I know it took me time to get used to it, so i give her time.

The more troubling angle is the far-too-many people who I read in the comments section of most of the transgender rights op-ed pieces I've been reading in the NY Times recently.  To so many of them I just think "haters gotta hate."  I had gotten into the bad habit of responding (usually angrily) to some of them, but I've learned instead to simply add my own comment and try to reasonably address what I see.  Just today I commented that several people suggested that we (trans* people) were making "demands" and forcing them to "adjust their actions" (this was all in an op-ed piece about rest rooms).  I simply asked in response "what demands exactly?"  In doing this I'm not trying to change the minds of the "haters," but rather hope to reach those in between, who aren't yet allies but aren't as narrow-minded about the subject.  Perhaps they'll then notice that the only "demand" we're making is to be able to use the appropriate rest room in peace (what nerve we have!!!)

I agree with your thoughts - it would be nice for people to realize that their individual interests are also (often) served by contributing to the general interests.

xoxo

Christie

Ohhhhh

No, she just often looks that way

Eve,

My friends understand 

Christie

Warren,

I really enjoyed both videos, and the new scenery     I'm a big fan of rivers, there are several spots along the Hudson that serve as "quiet places" for me (even if I'm sharing them with 100s of people - it's New York, you get used to that).

The timing of your video on pansexualism was especially opportune.  I happened to be thinking about that as I was walking here earlier (I'm not sure why exactly).  Specifically I started to wonder what the specific difference was between being bisexual and being pansexual.  I'm not questioning whether it exists, just curious about the definitions and how they differ, so your video was quite helpful (and made me start to think that I'm pansexual, and that I still live too much with a binary view of the world).

xoxo

Christie

Karen,

Wonderful advice!  I'm fortunate to have a very strong support system, in terms of friends, co-workers, and medical professionals (family not so much - my cousin and his husband are supportive, but not really anyone else so far, though there's been no open hostility - fortunately I didn't have the closest family relations anyway).

My doctor, in fact, when I told him initially the very first thing he asked about was my support system - both in terms of a therapist (I love my current therapist!), and friends, etc.  He's always been very good in that respect, he takes a very holistic view of medicine.

xoxo

Christie

Benjamin,

That's so great - congratulations! I actually just got my letter this week as well, and immediately forwarded it to my endocrinologist!

And you're right, it can be a difficult journey, but it's absolutely worth it!  My own depression lifted almost immediately when I finally openly acknowledged being trans, and it has stayed away ever since.

xoxo

Christie

Roxanne,

Congratulations on starting your transition!  I'm also 48 years old (for another week anyway), and just started myself in the past few months (after a couple of years of cross-dressing without acknowledging being trans).  It can be a challenge, but it's worth it for the emotional relief - as you mentioned!

xoxo

Christie

​I suspect you still have much to offer   At least I hope so!  One of the great treasures of this website is being able to read about people who are at all different points in transitioning

I've been doing hour long sessions, that and the prior laser treatment might explain the difference.  For the next 2 weeks my schedule should allow for me to let it go a little longer before the sessions, so she should be happy with that    It's funny that it definitely does hurt, but I seemingly don't care - I've never once asked her to stop for a break, and I'm always disappointed when the session ends!  I don't think my pain tolerance is that high, on the other hand I have gotten 4 tattoos, so perhaps...

I meant to add that your choice in subject line was wonderful, I couldn't pass up an entry titled "keeping the vagina as it should be"  

Karen,

I strongly second Veronica's comments, I had been trying (subconciously) to compartmentalize my gender and sexuality "issues."  Part of my thinking (when it popped up into the conscious) was that I didn't want sexuality to impact my decision-making in terms of proceeding on this journey.  But of course it is relevant whether I choose to actively think about it or not!  I think now that I'm in a much more comfortable place in terms of transitioning it's easier to let it go.

What's also interesting is the sense that my sexual orientation is (possibly, probably?) shifting.  Previously I considered myself a "gay male" with some slight bisexual interests.  As I move along in this transition I can see the possibility of being completely bisexual.  One hypothesis (I won't misuse "theory" like the religious right likes to do with it's creationist "theory") is that as I see myself more and more as a woman it's easier to imagine being in a relationship with another woman, someone I can better relate to.  That's speculation though :-)   At this moment the idea of dating and/or sex is barely, if at all, on my radar.

Thank you again for another informative post!

xoxo

Christie

Warren,

Congratulations on all of this!  You certainly deserve some good things happening

Good luck with the new job#

Christie

That's very true, it is definitely being thrown in at the deep end.  The location of my office requires that in getting from the elevators to the office I have to walk through the cafeteria.  During lunch hour there will be hundreds of students there.  

And excellent comment about "staring back" - as I started wearing more and more make-up I was very aware that I tended to look away if someone passed so I've been actively working on making eye contact with people.  On the plus side, I used to not smile very easily (I had "resting bitch face"), but it comes much more naturally now :-)

Finishing touches probably wasn't the right term.  In my mind it's stepping over the line from overall presenting as a man to presenting as a woman (right now I think I mostly look like a man trying to look like a woman).  But that definitely isn't the finish line :-)

Congrats on all of this!  It is great to have doctors that you trust, and a therapist.  And I definitely know what you mean about feeling like you're just rambling during therapy sessions, but I've found that I often get the best feedback from therapists when that's what I think I'm doing :-)

I look forward to seeing your comics!

Ben,

Lots of excellent points here.  To focus quickly on the point about media representation, I recall the early years when I had come out as gay (mistakenly as it turns out!), and finding even the LGBT rights movement trying to focus people on "mainstream" or "normal" lesbian and gay people.  Can't say LGBT for that part since they definitely did not want attention focused on the BT part!  Long before I realized I was trans I was really pissed about that - it was trans people who rioted at the Stonewall back in '69 after all.

Your talk about setting standards made me think of a Barney Frank quote (bear with me, I will connect this!) - back in 1993 when people were arguing over whether LGBT people were 1% or 10% of the population I saw him in a debate - and quite brilliantly he didn't engage in the battle of the numbers, he just said "how many of us do there have to be to be entitled to civil rights?"

The connection that I would add here is this - how perfect do we all have to be to be entitled to civil rights?  The answer of course should be "NOT AT F***ING ALL!" - many, many imperfect cis-people get rights after all.

xoxo

Christie

Karen,

I thought I had posted a comment to this already, but it seems I must have forgotten to click "submit"  

Anyway, I personally prefer to celebrate Bastille Day, being a proper francophile.

Just 8 more days!  Vive la revolution! Vive la republique!

xoxo

Christie

Here is a picture I just took (after battling with my phone camera - it kept making my face red).

Anyway, this is with wig and some make-up (eye liner, mascara, blush, and lipstick). I'm curious how female people think I look in this? For example, if you saw me in a ladies room would you wonder why a man in a wig was there