I'm 61 years old this year (2017) and, surprisingly, finding that it's not nearly as bad as I expected it to be when I was 50! Actually it's pretty good.
I've experienced my transgender feelings about as long back as I can remember, probably four or five years old. For some reason I cannot explain I remember feeling ashamed about them, and that doesn't make sense to me now. Unfortunately both of my parents are long gone but I suspect that I must have expressed something about this to one or both, and learned from their reaction and treatment that it was shameful as far as they were concerned.
But that doesn't matter much now, does it? As much as I wish I could have known all of this so many decades ago I feel very fortunate to have so much more information available to me now, having learned that my transgender nature is (as far as I'm concerned) inbred and normal for me. I am what I am, and like someone who is left-handed, blonde-haired, or whatever, we don't choose any of this, and while we may be in a minority we, like all humans on this planet, deserve all the love, respect, and happiness of anyone else.
My wife and I are divorcing this year, and it's all about my being trans. She observed that I would be unable to really determine where I am on the TG spectrum if we were still together. So we very amicably and lovingly mediated our divorce and now it's all in process.
I moved recently to Seattle and started low-dose HRT in early September 2017. I can't believe it, I'm actually presenting as a woman quite often, all over town. I've acquired a nice baseline wardrobe (I love Nordstrom Rack!!!), costume jewelry, and makeup. I'm feeling good as my authentic self and so grateful to have a group of supportive friends here and in person.
Love and hugs,
I just updated my gender on TG Guide to female because that's how I'm presenting all the time now and it's clear to me that I am happy in my transition. More hills to climb and valleys to traverse but my heart knows the real me.
More steps in the journey, have fully updated my name and gender on all government and other accounts. I donated all of my male clothing some months back, spending a lot on my new clothing and have never enjoyed thinking about clothing the way I do now. My ex and I remain very close and I think our individual and collective grief is dissipating. I'm just out and about as my authentic self, all the time. I still face some existential angst that I'm working on but for the most part am just happy in my own skin — much happier and more grounded than I've ever been in my life.