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Everything posted by Chrissy

  1. Chrissy added a post in a topic Why Bother With "Passing"?   

    I think much of it is "simply" about projecting outwardly who you are inside. So if your goal is to be seen, accepted, and treated as a woman or man, it's more important to pass. If the goal is to be seen, accepted and treated as more feminine (me) or masculine than you would otherwise, then passing isn't so important (or might be cointerproductive).

    That and I think women's clothes are so much nicer than men's (the jeans could use deeper pockets though, just sayin)
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  2. Chrissy added a post in a topic Transwoman "Crossdressing"?   

    In my experience, and i'm sure i'm not alone, cross-dressing was how I first explored as transgender. It was only after doing that for awhile that I recognized that I am transgender. The point of all this is to say that have the separately identified concept was helpful in terms of my journey - if the only option seemed to be transgender, i'm not sure when I would have taken that step.

    Having said all that, it will be nice when we, reach a time when everyone just feels free to express as they want and need. And I agree that under those circumstances it would be redundant or incorrect to say that a transgender person is cross-dressing.
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  3. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Sexuality has too many loopholes   

    I agree with Emma's comment on labels, they're helpful in communicating with each other and otherwise harmless until people start making broad and incorrect assumptions based on them.

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  4. Chrissy added a post in a topic FYI Blog settings   

    Thanks for that! I haven't posted anything that i'd worry about guests seeing, but I think i'll feel freer to write knowing they can't.
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  5. Chrissy added a blog entry in On Being...Me   

    I've been wanting to do this for my own purposes anyway, but since I have a blog now I should use it!

    In exploring my gender I've thought a lot about the past and anything that might have been an indicator of what I really was (am!).

    The earliest item is my very first best friend (only friend for awhile) - Missy (totally ironic that I now use that name for my drag name). I'm not even sure when we became friends, we were both younger than 5 years old though. She lived down the street from me, so to some extent it was convenience, we were the only people close to each other in age - she had a brother and sister who were both substantially older, I have a brother and sister who are older, but they lined up with other kids in the area who were around their age. Convenience wasn't everything though, we were very close and stayed close friends well into elementary school, even after both of us had met other people and could "travel" to play if we wanted. Our usual play routine involved things that I think would be typically seen as "girls" - basically "playing house" with various Fisher Price toys. I had a G.I. Joe, but it wasn't my choice, I would have preferred a Barbie (she had much better accessories!), and in my hands Joe didn't do the things that he would normally have done (he never went to war). Sadly we did drift apart - it was around the age when it was "wrong" to have friends of the other sex/gender (girls had cooties after all).

    I didn't have any close female friends through the rest of elementary school or high school - but I was friendly with more girls than boys (in hindsight I can see that they no doubt saw me as non-threatening, so it was easier to get closer). These weren't good years (for multiple reasons that probably had nothing to do with gender).

    After that I started having more female friends, and a wife. We ostensibly divorced when I came out as gay, but I can see things from the time of being married that suggested otherwise. One fairly substantial thing is that when it came to decorating the more "female" touches were generally my suggestion! I like pink, I like it anywhere that it looks good, which is pretty much anywhere (for example, I was very excited when I found that I could make this all pink! Hopefully it doesn't make it hard to read). To put an even finer point on it, we didn't paint our living room pink, we painted it "dusty rose." My choice. I'm sure I tried to keep some check on it, but not with complete success. Later on I would ascribe that to being gay, but now...

    Since then I've pretty much always had at least one very close female friend. Again I would have typically said that it was because I'm gay - but I honestly don't know many of my gay friends who routinely have female friends, they tend to stay more to themselves (I'm also not denying the possibility that both sexuality and gender play a role in this).

    I'll save the more recent indicators for later


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  6. Chrissy added a post in a topic How Does Your State Rank On The Civil Rights Issue Of Our Time?   

    Not surprised about New York, if it was just NYC it would be dark green, but the rest of the state isn't so progressive.

    NJ as a state is much more so, notwithstanding the current, unfortunate governor.
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  7. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Background....   

    Big fan of purple as well :)
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  8. Chrissy added a post in a topic Thought I was shopping for tops but nay, my affection for boots got me   

    I usually go for mini skirts and short shorts - like to show some leg ;)
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  9. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry It's all becoming so normal!!!   

    That's awesome! My only experience like that was when cross-dressed and having a man on the train say to his daughter, who was going to take my seat when we got to my stop, "wait til the lady gets up." Great feeling.

    (And my birth name was also Steve...parents made it easier for me to transition by making my middle name Christie)

    have a great weekend!
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  10. Chrissy added a post in a topic Thought I was shopping for tops but nay, my affection for boots got me   

    Joining this late, but can't resist a shopping discussion! One of my favorite fringe benefits of being TG is shopping for women's clothing, so much more fun than men's. Tops and bags are my favorite, especially the JLo collection at Kohl's!
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  11. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry A beginning...of sorts   

    Oops, I meant to include a specific example of a question that gave me something to think about - it was recent, a quiz about Gender Reassignment Surgery - I won't try to quote the question exactly, but the thought process that it prompted for me was basically "if there were absolutely no downsides or difficulties in doing it, would you?" Of course there are downsides and difficulties, but I think it's a good starting point (it really works in many areas of life - "if there was nothing to fear, would you do it?").

    But I agree, for me they're mostly just fun - and an occasional diversion from a job that I often hate. Adding to their deficiencies is that I'm pretty good at "putting my thumb on the scale" to get the answer I want (though again, that can be telling in itself).

    I do currently see a therapist, and put much more stock in him :-)
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  12. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry A beginning...of sorts   

    I agree, it's helpful but I know it won't resolve everything for me (as much as I love spreadsheets!). A quick reading of it suggests that I'm somewhere between Types III and IV - but a year ago I probably would have said I and II - so the evolution continues!

    I find something similar with the various on-line quizzes - none can or should be taken too seriously, but occasionally they'll throw in a question which in itself gives me something to think about.
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  13. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry A beginning...of sorts   

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  14. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry A beginning...of sorts   


    Definitely go for it with the shoes! I kind of do that, I wear a lot of women's shoes, but they're running shoes, so it may or may not be obvious (I might also be skewed in terms of knowing what "obvious" is). I get a lot of my shoes at Payless, they have an excellent selection in my size (11).

    I think my next challenge is at the gym - I have several pairs of yoga pants, and pink work-out top that I want to wear there. I go very early, so it's minimal exposure, but a start.


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