Blogs

Reviewing my transition

I know I haven't been transitioning as long as some other girls on here have been and I am still a long ways away from completing my transition but I was just going through my schedule and reading it and thought to myself, I've come a long way since I offically decided to start transitioning. Back in January of this year I finally decided to see a therapist about my gender struggles and my depression because I couldn't understand why I just didn't feel right about myself and have thought abou

When somebody brings you down

August 17, 2010

coping strategy 001

On my last visit to the doctor I had my first experience of someone laughing at me in public as a transwoman. I am reasonably sure the laughing was about me but I chose not to look as I passed by the two young men. I felt like I was a little kid again, first day of school where someone made fun of what I was wearing. Following the laughter was some real faint whispering, when the men began to chat more about what they just saw. (what is ironic is that the two men whispering sounded like what

amie

August 13, 2010

doctor's visit

So today I had my doctor's appointment for hormones and I was really excited to go and talk to them about starting HRT. It was really insiteful and I was really happy with how I was treated and how nice everyone was. It was nice that they already had an idea of why I was at the clinic and what I was there to get, so that made me less nervous. All of the nurses treated me with respect and were really supportive. I was really happy that they answered all my questions and told me all about th

August 11, 2010

Curious

So this weekend I had to deal with some not so nice situations and I figured Id blog about them and see what everyone else thought about it and I would love to hear responses from this entry. Anyways, during the 4th of july weekend earlier this year, my friends invited me out (tiffany actually) to enjoy the fireworks and hang out with them. Little did I know they had a blind date set up for me. I was super nervous but he was super nice and really treated me like a lady. I had seen him a fe

ashleysummers day by day.....

August 2, 2010

Tried something new

I would like to ask all the other people out their if anyone has ever tried some of those tanning lotions.Earlier this week I bought some of the jergens brand.I have been using it for about the days and I think I can start to see A difference.Befor I bought it L looked around and none of the people I talked to had anything bad to say about it,But one thing everyone did say is that they all leave your skin with A yellowish color.For me I have only used it on my legs so any change is A good change

ashleysummers

July 30, 2010

ashleysummers day by day.....

My first time.........

Ok so this is what a blog is (huuummm).Well let me begin by saying hello to everyone.For the past few days that I have been loged on to this site u have let me share some things that have been on my mind so I thank u very much.All my life I have had this feeling of just being different.When I was about 5 me and my mom would go over to my grandmas house.I use to go in the back room of the house to play while my mom would catch up with her.In the back room she had allot of toys and games for all t

ashleysummers

July 28, 2010

More experiences in being a woman

First of all, thank you so much for the confidence and comments on all of my entries so far, and to Carolinetyler your two cents are priceless in my book so you can give me your two cents whenever you feel like it . I figured its a friday so Id write a new blog entry, its kinda been a long time since I did so I thought itd be a fun idea. I've gotten a lot of confidence boosts since I wrote my last entry about the hurry up and wait. A lot of that has come from the comments I got from everyo

July 23, 2010

The Politics of "Nice".

I recently finished a hour long question and answer session with a graduate student working on a transgendered thesis. As we sorted through the usual questions of when did you feel transgendered first and how much counseling had I gone through, here came the big question- how did I make new friends as a transgendered person. Fortunately, I could fall back on last night's experiences to answer the question. I was having an outstanding time conversing with a cis-girlfriend of mine. At the same

July 15, 2010

Spinning my wheels

So recently i've taken some big steps in my transitioning process. Telling people in my family trying to figure out my finances and everything and getting ready for hormones. I decided that it would be a good idea to set up a time line in the future. I read it was a good idea on tsroadmap and thought i should do the same. I have it all laid out and if anyone wants to see it i would be happy to either post it or send it to their email. but thats not really the point why im writing this blog

July 10, 2010

A more positive outlook

After my last post, I have been trying to go out more and live my life as a woman and probably some of the most amazing things started to happen. First I started a video blog on youtube and I figured to myself that no one would watch it at all. To my shock and suprise I had a 100 people view it in the first two days. I almost jumped when I saw that. I've had a few people even subscribe to my channel so yay me. Its really started to make me feel better about myself. Next I have been livin

July 1, 2010

A little down

As of march of this year I finally decided that living as a male was no longer an option to me. I have struggled with my gender ever since I really new what the difference between boys and girls was. I always played with more girls than boys growing up and never saw a problem with wanting to play with barbies over playing baseball. I have slowly started down this road and have taken some big steps but at the same time feel like the road ahead stretches endlessly. I told my parents and they w

June 28, 2010

If Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus...

Where are transgendered folks from? Perhaps we are the "earthlings"? Think of the possibilities and the challenges. No matter if you put a dress on once a week or you've fully transitioned, we earthlings are a unique tribe. We suffer the same problems as Venus and Mars, and quarrel about them in similar ways. After all, the gravitational pulls of the other two planets tug on us daily. We are uniquely flamboyant or conservative in our dress and mannerisms as we struggle on our planet. The

June 28, 2010

Returning to the "scene" of a crime!

No, I'm not a criminal. The "scene" was another sports bar I frequented a year or so ago. It was the only place that I have ever been discriminated against. Most of the abuse started when a group of younger redneck guys read me. I put up with the cheap shots and comments because I do not let people like that run my life. However, when "Dude looks like a lady" was played on the juke box 3 times in a row, it was time to go. The wimpy manager wouldn't intercede (I was a regular) but that was h

June 16, 2010

stephani's Blog

Music that hides within us all ... Singing the tunes our hearts are playing within us all.

Within our minds we create lyrics of our lives , does your heart play the tune for the world to hear or do you simply humm the tune to your selves ... Within life the rythm plays and we create our songs of life , Do you hear your symphany playing your tune , or are you tone deaf .. As we walk down the streets watching others pass by , we often hear their songs playing loudly , what do they hear when they pass by you ? Do they hear a beautiful sound or do they wince in aggony when they hear

stephani

June 14, 2010

What's correct: The mirror, the camera or the public?

Last night I changed my look for the first time in a while. (girl's prerogative, right?) I choose a shoulder length straight black hair style. I used to wear it quite a bit until I became enamored with my red curly fun hair. The public has told me the "Red" does wonders for me and I LOVE the curls and length. I never have had a problem presenting in it. The compliment invariably comes from women. The camera seems to like it also. The pictures are normally my highest rated. The mirror (which

June 10, 2010

A Night in the Life. Part One.

Here is one of the stories I sent to a friend and she thought I should share so...Here" ya" go! Direct from alternate life style redneck bars , two stellar tales...of me being me. The first establishment basically was a female biker bar, not hardcore outlaw women, but a serious crew none the less. The best way I can describe the place was I got the juke box turned off one night when I played Shania Twane "Lord I feel like a Woman." No sense of humor...kind of like the urinal that was made into

May 31, 2010

No "Triumph" that night!

I have been frequenting a couple of the casual chain bar/restaurants in the area for over ten years. On my first visit, I was so scared that I took a seat next to a supporting post around the bar and tried to blend with it! I didn't dress as a piece of oak however so that didn't work! I did live through the evening and found out the world wasn't trying to destroy me for being a girl! So I continued to return. In fact, a couple of the bartenders that have waited on me since the beginning are s

May 28, 2010

Just another trip!

Back to a time of confusion and loneliness and innocence. I was on a simple journey across town when I saw a woman walking down a long drive to her mail box. For some reason my mind flipped back to the days when a trip to the mailbox in what makeup and clothes I could scratch together gave me my first tentative steps out the door as a girl. The driveway became a different dimension. In reality it was probably about 75 yards, but during my walks it magically transformed into a mile or shorten

May 28, 2010

stephani's Blog

Time , it passes through the hour glass ... is this one broken , ( Laugh a bit )

It has been a while now since I last made a Blog entry so I felt it due . I set and often wonder why time seems to pass so quickly in our daily activities but yet it appears to stand still in so many of our Transitions . I know that this is all simply a misconception on my part but yet this is how it feels at times , as the sands of time slip away we often feel that we are moving forward in our day to day lives but our perceptions of our transition slaps us in the face seemingly telling us th

stephani

May 25, 2010

Questions anyone?

On occasion, I do become tired of people asking me why I dress the way I do. It's getting to the point where I can predict when it's going to happen. Recently, I've gone through a period of no recognition of my gender and no questions. I felt it had to end and tonight it did. I wasn't over dressed as I made my way through the evening with jeans, flip flops and a bunch of curly red hair. All in all, a very uneventful evening until the young blond in knee socks, short flippy skirt and tan

May 24, 2010

"Just a new girl in the world?"

Following a surprise encounter with a guy in a very straight sports/bar restaurant the other night, I sought advice from a female bartender I know. I was very unsure of how I handled the situation. He caught me with an approach and a comment that most females probably encounter at the age of 14 (or less). I was with a GG friend and she left. He started quickly and aggressively with questions about her and then moved in on me. So quickly, I didn't have much time to make much of a value j

May 24, 2010

Are you man enough to be a girl?

Let me preface this entry by saying my wife passed away a couple years ago. It was her love and perseverance that glued our 25 year marriage together. This is one of the questions she asked that helped me be the person I am today. She would want me to "pay forward" this experience to any who can use it. Many years ago, my wife indirectly asked me this question. "Are you man enough to be a woman?" This is how it happened. We were living in an area directly above NYC. I was still a nov