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General

Featured Entries

Transgender Bloggers Wanted: Share Your Journey

Create your own blog at TGGuide.com. It's FREE and you can start right now. Some people blog as a sort of journal to share our thoughts, feelings, experiences and insights. Others blog to express opinions on social and political issues. Others blog to share their knowledge and experience with others. Go ahead. Express yourself! Others may be grappling with issues you blog about and your words could provide useful insight or answers. Here are some blog topic ideas to get your creative juices f
  • Lori

Changing priorities

What do you consider important in your life. To me it used to be to "fit in", to be "normal", to get married, have children, support and nurture them and along the way hopefully to find happiness. Only I wasn't "normal", I didn't "fit in", I used to wake up in the mornings, stare at a face I hated and try to convince myself that one day it will be fine if I could just carry on doing.....this.....this stuff to distract myself from the inner turmoil. Some two and a half years after making a bi

Moment of clarity

You know how sometimes its all becomes clear, your life as it was, where you are now and the future ahead, I think I had one of those moments on Tuesday just gone. I have been going through a a period of doubt about my job, I know my boss's boss doesn't like me one bit, it's so obvious in the why he talks to me on the conference calls to the US (where he is located). I'm totally sure he would like to see me gone and I've been playing justify my position for the past year and a bit, having any e

Again with the Crying ....

Ok had another session with my therapist and guess what Tears they fell like rain , what the hell at no other time then this my anti-depressants keep me from tearing up or feeling a thing and I get in here and a few questions into the session I cant stop crying . Frig make up my mind then on top of it I got home and their I was an emotional mess again , my wife wants to know whats wrong and why do I keep going to see my therapist if every time I am going to turn into a basket case , crying over

The Ten Reasons I Chose to be Trans

As you are no doubt aware, being transgender is a choice that some people make. Everyone has different reasons for making this choice and here are mine: 1. By the standards of men’s heights, I’m only considered somewhat tall. By women’s standards, however, I’m quite tall. 2. I so much prefer to use my hands and mouth for sex over my penis that I would like to remove the option entirely. 3. Attention; I could think of literally no other way to get attention from people. 4. Growing up secr
  • MayaZ

What a Blow!

A [very] few here know that I was sweating bullets when I decided to tell the three most important people in my life about my trueself - my mum, my girlfriend and my brother. I was worried that I would lose their love. I didn't, but things didn't remain all that smooth. While I lost the support of my mother a few short months later, my g/f and brother seemed to stay the course.   Now, I have to question just where my brother's feelings are on all this. He has been understanding and sup

Free (?) Again

For the last week and a half, I was imprisoned; not only imprisoned in my own body, but my body itself imprisoned in a mental health facility (or for the rather upbeat group of would-be suiciders I was rooming with, the loony bin). Despite transgender protection laws being on the books in Illinois and my being in a state-run facility and their being aware that I identify as female, I was placed in the male rooms with access to the male restroom and shower. Sure, that's lame and uncomfortable f
  • MayaZ

Changes...

Things in my life are progressing, some a bit to slow for my liking but at least the movement is forward. Did a blood test last week and met my doctor yesterday and after the recent increase in my estrogen dose the blood levels are now nicely within the prescribed levels of the gender clinic. So barring any issues this will be the dosage that I'll be kept on until post-op when they will be reviewed. Also got another 3-month Zoladex implant at the same time - this works so well, my testosterone

Swimsuits, Summer workouts and New strange looks, Walking the other side

Okay after 1 year of Hormones. I'm starting to notice new changes in my life. As its now starting to become the summer months I Begin to dawn new summer attire and look towards swimming in pools and at the beach. In the past year my body has gone through much of the changes and after having trouble with a T-shirt last year irritating my chest I went out this spring and bought my first swimsuit as a woman. Choosing something that would make my good areas shine and hide other areas. In the pa

Trans-genders and Bathrooms

Okay its been a hot topic as of late in debates and news stories and I think its time a truth came out. Trans people do not use bathrooms to rape women or children. While there may have been 1 or 2 cases of such (more like a guy in drag doing this to get closer) Out of the mass population of trans individuals we go to the bathroom to use it like any one else. The fact of the matter is its been more often discovered that M2F trans people like myself who use a men’s room are more at risk of being

So much is falling away , like sand through my hand , where does it all go ?

I set pondering upon the time I have spent here , so many questions so many answers , what to hold onto what to let slip away , I know that I cant take all this information with me because it slips away like the sands held within my grasp , am I mistaken , do I reatain the guideance I have learned from so many here , I would like to think that some where within this cluttered mind within my skull it is all their waiting for the moment it is needed but I grasp to remember and nothing comes forth

Moving on

I've just completed my first day at the new job. Believe me, the trip to get here was hellacious and not in a good sense. You see, I thought I had a firm commitment to a rental car. It turned out, when I stepped up to the counter to present my debit card, the agency refused to take it unless I showed them I was leaving town; they insisted on a return itinerary, of all things. Since I intend to stay and booked only a one-way flight, I was completely SOL, stuck at Boston-Logan airport with no

The dreaded Therapy session .... Nah It was all good ,LOL

Ok , yesterday I had my first session with my new therapist ( by the way didnt have an old one ) She's a great little lady , open to the needs and concerns we have concerning Transition , It is so hard to find a qualified phycologist that knows and can properly aid with all aspects of transition and any other issues we may have but I think she is going to be a great help , I dont have any real issues other then those fricking SOC rules I know they are in place for a reason but I am not the only

Quick Notes...

I started writing this today and don't really know where I can save it, so I'm just going to keep it on here... Maybe I'll get back to it later (I think I know where it's going after this, despite the concept itself being something of a mindfuck to write), but I'm at work right now, so I really need to not start writing a novel... As Michael sat down to begin working on his new novel, intended as a way of dealing with his gender issues, he hit a brick wall. “Wow. One sentence in and a
  • MayaZ

Moving. On? Up? Forward? Uncertain

I may have mentioned that I have been working on a military project this past year. Well, that contract is closing soon and I've already been "laid off" by my employer. This comes as no big surprise; I've been treated exactly like this by every consulting firm I've ever worked for and even in permanent positions when the company downsized. It doesn't matter to a business that I sacrificed salary and R&R for this past year, accepting the promise of a raise when this contract was finished.

Why do we have to los the ones we love so dear to us?

Today I found out that I lost a very special person in my life. We all knew her and I miss her so much already. Her names is Tracy A. She was the only one who truly knew me for who I am. Even though she and I never met she was so special to me. She was the daughter that I never had and a best friend who I loved so much. She had confied in me her most precious things and had asked so many qustions and wanted so many answers about life and the things to expect. God why do we have to lose the one

Minor update

It's been a while since I last added an entry and since then, nothing dramatic has happened, just minor changes. Two months after having my last blood test my oestrogen prescription has been pushed up another notch as the levels measured were a little low. Picked them up yesterday along with another blood test form. yuck Couple of days ago I let my girlfriend cut my hair, haven't been so nervous about anything for ages but it payed off - I love it, a bit of a bob but it feels thicker and bounc

The Grandkids

Because school was closed for spring break, my 13 year old granddaughter and my 17 year old grandson asked if they could visit and stay overnight someday. One reason is that our apartments have a pool and theirs doesn't. Another might be that I have some cool, new games on my PC. We agreed on Wednesday and my wife and I drove to their apartment home to pick them up. In the car, the stereotypical big brother - kid sister behaviour occurred in the back seat. Normalcy reigned. When we arri

This room is a mess, and i still need a job

I really think I lost it this morning probably because I've been off my estrogen for a week(intending renew prescription soon). But coming into this room I saw only things contaminated with the past. Things that made me angry, or only reminded me of who I was trying to escape. Rather then taking the rational “im the walking away route.” I ignored the option ripped piece of masculine clothing off the hangers even broke a few in a fit of rage I screamed in random protest of growls and l
  • Aenon

Where does the time go?

Hello again everyone I've been wanting to post a blog entry to let everyone know how things are going and whats happening in my life but I haven't really gotten the chance with working two jobs and trying desperately to get out of debt (much to my own dismay). First of all yesterday I went to another doctors appointment for a checkup and to increase my dosage of estrogen and to get prescribed some mild antianxiety/antidepression medication. Everything went really well, eventhough when I fir

A week of Down falls

Okay this week has been one of the mentally most stressful in my transition in the last 4 years since I came out about being Trans. It started with going through boxes of my past that I stored at my fathers. Finding allot of both junk and even some of my early discovers into the TG world. I believe in going through this and other parts of my past I have been building up my being haunted by nightmares. Add to this week a guy at work acting up and using me to blame. Getting discriminated as I shop

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