Hi Dee,  I really hope things get much better for you in the coming months: there is a lot on your plate, first and foremost, your new family structure. There is a lot to get used too and figure out right now.  I'm also happy your first therapy sessions are close to happening. At first, I never really expected to learn much from mine, but did without a doubt!  Ultimately it will be you that decides whether or not to go full steam ahead, not the therapist!  Good luck; we need many more decent people like you out there representing us right now.🙋‍♀️.  Keep looking through the clouds and you'll always see the sun.🌞

Dear Dee,

Keep in touch with us on a regular basis, both when times are good as well as when times are bad.

Also, here are some T/LGB warm lines that I found very supportive:

LGBT National Hotline: 1-888-843-4564 and 1-888-234-7243

LGBT Peer Counseling: 1-215-732-8255

SAGE: 1-888-234-7243

Know these are all USA numbers.

Happen to call one of them about once every three months. The secret is to call a warm line (as opposed to a "crisis" line) before you are overwhelmed.

Also, try to work towards to having a small circle of friends, both face to face, telephone friends, as well as online.

You may ask if anyone here on TGGuide lives near your city.

We are here for you!

Your friend,

Monica

Thanks Monica, perhaps someone else who sees this will benefit from those warm line numbers  but that is effectively what I am blogging here for. I find the writing cathartic and it helps me stop wallowing and focus on really understanding how I feel. I am physically isolated from my real life friends, the two couples I have confided in stay too far for regular contact and even the ones I haven't are a good 3hr drive away. Moving will be on the cards eventually especially if I become Dee socially full time, but at the moment it would just create a different set of problems rather than solving any.  I will find my momentum again soo enough though - thank you both for your kindness. 💛

Hi Dee,

Sorry to read this; it’s very understandable that you’re feeling this way. 

With a bit of hindsight I see that I’ve been dealing with a lot of grief over the last several years. My divorce, my transition, moving 1,000 miles away. 

I suggest thinking about grief, maybe studying it through books, YouTube videos, etc. It’s especially important for you to try to be easy on yourself, patient, and kind with yourself. Yes it’s easy to say and hard to do. 

Dear Dee and Emma,

Emma, that is a great suggestion! Find YouTube very healing! Am on it every night, I must confess!

Dee, try typing, "grieving after a divorce," "grieving after losing a child through divorce," and for your son, "grieving after losing a sibling through divorce."

Please let us know how it goes!

Your friend,

Monica 

Thanks Emma, I will do some searching and viewing and move away from depressing myself with Youtubers documenting the pace that the UK NHS gender services move at. I was watching someone who said about accessing the services, "You can either pay for your transition with money, or with time."  It stuck with me because it is true, in any transaction there is a triangle of quality, speed and cost and you can only ever get two out of three at most. I would rather go slow and have a quality (genuinely thought through) experience than rush and regret something later. I will be fine. I always am. x