Just a little vanity :)
Entry posted by ScottishDeeDee in Counselling
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Honestly, I just want to commemorate feeling great about myself today lol.
As I finished writing up my wordpress blog today I had such a feeling of happiness and well being that even changing back to my black and grey boys clothes and dealing with more school drama, and the cancellation of my online D&D game tonight hasn't quite managed to quash.
I look at that picture of me in my kitchen, smiling because of how ridiculous it feels to be balancing a phone on a draw in order to try and get a full body shot from closer than half a mile away. I have never been this vain or preened so much over my appearance, because living as a guy I really didn't give a crap.
I like this picture, I like how it makes me feel, and I like how it felt just living my day as DeeDee again.
At some point in the last couple of weeks I have mentally and emotionally accepted myself.
The path to becoming who I am all the time regardless of everyone else is what I need to plan for now. I have been so jealous reading about women over the last two years who have had that eureka moment really quickly, and yet mine almost sneaked by without me noticing.
Both counsellors today picked up on my mood and enthusiastic certainty (my work one was pleasantly surprised that I am feeling positive instead of flat, but still has not helped me to find a way to build the resilience I know I will need to come out in the church, not that she knows that is one of my goals yet) but it is absolutely down to the fact that I have finally stopped feeling totally overwhelmed by everything.
Yay!
💖
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