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When I was younger, I was happy to find that some guys are attracted to transgender girls. After all, there are guys that like cis girls, guys that like guys, etc, so I just reasoned that it's just as natural for some guys to like transgender girls. I've had my crushes throughout school just like anyone else does. I thought how nice it would be if someone felt the same way about me. One of my friends told me "there's somebody for everybody, right?" She didn't realize that many things are more complicated for #girlslikeus. It didn't take me long to realize that many of the guys that I seemed to attract were different somehow. Not all, but most didn't seem to be interested in me as a person or really want to get to know me as a person. I sadly started to realize that these particular guys weren't seeing me as a romantic partner, not a girl to take ice skating, dance with, watch movies together, spend quite time side by side on the couch with, or exchange Valentine's cards with. I was fairly young when I started hearing from older girlfriends about how transgender women are seen as fetish objects to a lot of men. I already knew that woman are often objectified as sex objects and thought it was the same thing, sort of. I told myself that was just a few creeps, so just stay away from them...not a big deal. The right boy will come along. I later came to see these creeps as predators. They will tell you what you want to hear and treat you just good enough to get what they think they're going to get. This threatens me, my womanhood, my self worth as a human being. I still think he is out there, but after years of contact with guys....ones that swear they just want love, a relationship, a soul mate, only for them to turn out to be one of "those." I am letting some bad experiences influence my interaction with guys that I meet. Without even knowing them, I often judge them as one of the creeps. I have dated a couple (exactly three) amazing guys, two in highschool and one after starting college, so my dreams are still alive. However, years of interaction with the predators, in person, on social sites, forums and chat rooms have gotten to me, not that I would ever meet anyone from online. Not a chance. It's just the idea...the reality of it all. This is one of the reasons that I am here on TGGuide, which has been a very positive experience for me. I feel like here, I can discuss issues, interact with other girls, and talk about my feelings and experiences without someone asking me for pictures in my underwear. Yay! The "fetish" aspect is one of the complications of dating for #girlslikeus, but there are others. It's not the most heartbreaking. The social stigma attached to dating a girl that was born (and especially if she still is) anatomically male is another big thing. It's a lot of pressure for guys, no matter how good their intentions. I have lost a couple good relationships to their fear of what people will think and that is what probably stops some nice guys from approaching us in the first place. I will fully transition when I graduate from college. I don't want to give the wrong impression, I'm not doing it to find love and a husband. I need to do this for me, no one else and it is what I've been moving toward my whole life. I do think though, that the chances of romantic happiness and love are better for those that have fully transitioned. Post op women do get married and are living the dream. Janet Mock has an amazing guy and will soon be married as many other have. So, i'm interested in what others think on the subject, and you're experiences are with dating and love. Do you think it's likely to find love as a transwoman? What have your experiences been with men? Are so many men as just creepy as I think they are? I'm also curious to hear from those that Identify as "trans-lesbians." I sometimes think that it would be easier to be attracted to girls. It's hard to see cis-women as being the kind of creepy that some men are,or as likely to fetishize and, devalue another person, or as worried of what people would think of them. Thanks for reading <3 KM

I am into females but last week decided to see what interest there was for a post-op on Match dating service. Thought that there would be zero hits especially when the first line in my introduction said "To start off, I was born a male and just made the transition to female through surgery". Did not check for hit until three days later and had about 20 'likes', 'winks' and email messages. I could not reply as I am a free member thinking way pay 14.99 per month when there would be no hits. Well I'd say about three quarters appeared (but sure) to be after the fetish thing. Guess I will never know because I am not really into men. So my feeling is many are into it for the fetish. Think I will stick with females and have no doubt that I will find someone as there are already females who have expressed interest in me.

Am a cisgender (born female) Lesbian, and was very happily involved with a transwoman who identified as a Lesbian for ten years. Frankly, I am sick of the politics of the cisgender Lesbian community and prefer transwoman Lesbians. Recommend exploring http://www.TGPersonals.com, as I feel it is one of the most wholesome transgender dating websites. Just a warning, though, you will find a few creeps in even the best Internet dating websites. Don't give up!

The police haven't sent me on training in while, and here its for the newest entry at work. So having had training in Shotguns, R5 Assault Rifles, RAP401 and Piettro Beretta Mod92 9mm Pistols a decade back, was like funny to for me the only girl with the hard ass guys I work with and some men I can sneeze over. 5 minutes later firearm training over, I know my firearm, so off to the shooting range. Why didn't you train the other stations people. This guy looks like he is afraid in front of me, well let me show him how it's done. 5 minutes later he is still struggling yo release the slide, how bad can he be. Can't wait to stand and shoot though. At the station prior to leaving the 2nd hands as I like to call them are a click that makes almost everybody believe they are the best, and before I or we (my group) get in a fight with them, lets just go in my car and drive the 80mile round trip. On the shooting range from the right to the left, the first 5 persons were the best of the best. The only girl in the mix, so Queen again. So after the first squeeze I realized this pistol isn't just lighter, but everything on it is lighter except for the new magazine that was still stiff. Being considered one of the guys that stands my ground in the face of danger. I sometimes wonder if I would've been accepted or an outcast if I couldn't shoot, fight or stand my ground. Yes, with certain guys the option of me driving are always open, with others I am the driver no matter what, because they can't drivr. The joke with the driving is, I drive a Chevrolet Spark 1.2L stick shift, and the vehicles at work are one tonners trucks or sometimes bigger, and very rarely smaller, but everything is at least 3ft longer. In cars I pick something that doesn't seem like I stole my dad's car and fits my personality. But seeing as I'm talking about firearms, I prefer a weapon that is comfortable to carry and shoot one handed too. Lastly, I don't believe a firearm yo be the first line of defense. I also know that when I draw my weapon it is in all likelihood going to be used, because it is my last option to protect myself and those lives around or with me. A weapon, be it a firearm, knife, sword, baton, or any form should only be used or carried when you feel comfortable the training you were given can be executed without a fault, and all consequences of you using that said weapon to inflict the minimum of damages to stop the said attacker. Because going around and thinking you indestructible because you were trained at using it, is the worst mentality you can have. Yes, be confident, know your strength and weaknesses with the weapon or your body. AND LASTLY REMEMBER TO BE SAFE, BECAUSE THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE BETTER THAN YOU, IF IT IS BECAUSE OF FOCUS OR ABILITY. WEAPONS ARE NOT TOYS, BUT AN EXTENSION OF YOUR HAND AND CAPABILITIES IN A FIGHT. Okay, all I wanted to do was gloat that I passed. But I did it all while ensuring my safety and that of those around me. And I still looked feminine and adorable. Doesn't mean I like guy stuff I jave to look like them, I'm a girl by nature that doesn't like taking crap from anybody.

Okay, this entry isn't really about "The Sound of Music" but the title seemed appropriate as I got started. And since it's my blog, well, you get the picture. The reason I'm writing here is that I have another article that I'd like to share but couldn't decide on a good place to post in the Forums. It's about climbing mountains - personal mountains, full of loose shale and dangerous outcroppings: Every life has a Great Struggle. A struggle that defines how—and whether—that life will reach fulfillment. Struggling well—facing, embracing, and overcoming one’s struggle—and struggling poorly—escaping, replacing, and ignoring one’s struggle—is one of the greatest and most necessary disciplines that we must master if we are to live, prosper, and blossom. For the truth is that if we don’t overcome our struggles, you know and I know: we will probably end up trapped in lives that feel like bitter and desperate failures, futile, meaningless, diminished. https://medium.com/bad-words/the-art-of-competition-5b7b3704d8c2 Breathe. Look up. See the mountain. Accept the gift. Emma

Thank you so much Monica:))) I will check that out and will never give up. <3 KM

Hope your class went well Karen. You did take it easy right? Take cae of yourself, and have a stellar day.

Jennifer, this is an interesting topic. I don't know how much you've looked into this or have practiced. You may know more about it than I do. I've read that everyone's voice can deepen somewhat as they age, so it is something that I am concerned about and I try to do voice exercises as much as possible. Some of the exercises are fun too...like singing:) I noticed that there are links to voice training articles and videos here on TGGuide. If you are interested, I could also share links to some of my favorites videos also. So, just in case you haven't yet taken the step to voice feminization, here are some of the basics as I know them. There are a lot of ways to feminize the voice, pitch is just one part of it. There are many things that together make a voice sound believably feminine...resonance, tone, etc. Woman also have a beautiful kind of singing voice quality and vary pitch and emphasis more within words from syllable to syllable. Basically, women talk more in their mouth and head than their throat or chest. They even move their mouths differently while speaking. I've read that it is easier for the deaf to read women's lips than men's because of this. As for seeing the opposite gender in the mirror, does that mean everyone, or transgenders? I can say that there is truth to that, at least for me. I can't say though if it was just me subconsciously focusing on characteristics that are feminine and ignoring anything that might be considered masculine or something else. Maybe I am just seeing how I want to be seen, or the way that I feel inside.

Kristila, I like your blog very much. Be kind to a hater. To turn the cheek and be lady like . Educate , respond with polite cordialness. I have been in situations like what Karen said..... am I sure I can walk away and why did I put myself in harms way to begin with? I thought do these haters relies who they are dealing with, me as a man. At the time I am in a tight dress with heels. Much harder to defend yourself dressed like this. I had 3 men confront me in the boys restroom while I was in fem . They said to me '' no tranny girl boys in here '' I responded saying '' That 3 girls in the ladies restroom told me the same thing.'' Where am I suppose to go if the cops were parked outside by my car.'' We all looked at each other then started to laugh together. Kind humor can go a long way to comfort those who do not understand . I know I have been blessed and lucky . I can not let haters control my life anymore.

I understand and respect people who don't believe in carrying a weapon but I like to be able to up the anty with a impact tool such as a specially made pen or flashlight. I would say a well trained person without tools/weapons and good de-escalation skills will be fine in most cases but there are times when that is not enough. If an average built man clobbers an average built female "game over" in most cases. And the nice thing here is we can (if you are in the right) use disparity of force in these situations. What I DO NOT believe is something to count on is OC or pepper-spray as this can go against you in many ways and many push OC and pepper-spray and don't get me started on tasers.

I need to clarify something about an issue for him hiding it wasn't because he was afraid I'd leave. That did not factor into his reason for hiding it is all, he just wouldn't want me to stay in the relationship if I wasn't happy.

Hi SandCastle, Thank you so much for sharing your story. I think it's great to get some perspective from the other side of the relationship, so I appreciate you posting here. I look forward to reading more. Best wishes, -Sara

Dear Sandi, I think it's terrific that you're sharing this and, from my own experience, your feelings are very understandable. You and your husband were ten years older, more mature, and wiser than when you married. Hopefully you're both better able to be sensitive and understanding of each other's feelings and talk openly to each other. Neither you or your husband wanted "this" but you each selected each other, maybe him you because he sensed that you might be accepting and remain loving, and you him because of an indefinable quality that you didn't find in other men. The most important thing is for both of you to communicate. Easy to say, hard to do, without reacting. It's natural for us to be emotional, threatened, and hurt. I believe this also provides an opportunity for you both to deepen your relationship through building trust of vulnerability, acceptance of each other, and love. I wish you both the very best, Emma