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I thought that attempting to do my instructor certifications was going to be difficult, and it has but yesterday one of the people I was certified under took it upon himself to do a new certification for me and extended past the normal one year certification. Happy to get another one out of the way.

Life is full of surprises. I have always considered myself a fairly self aware person, but I've been surprising myself lately. About three months ago, I told my wife that I thought that I would need to transition. Well, about two weeks ago at my appointment with my therapist, I reminded her of something that I had said at my very first appointment back in November which was wanting to develop new ways to cope with being trans but not having to transition. I was in "crisis" mode at the time, not sure what to do. I was unable to cope with being male, yet was hoping that I could develop other ways to cope. At this last appointment, I started to realize that I have been coping with this for 38 years. I've tried everything to cope and did very successfully for a number of years. But now that is not working. Later that weekend, I read, "True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism". About 99% of it applied to me. It spoke to me in ways that helped me understand that I am fighting something that is who I am. So, here is the interesting thing. After I read that book, a flood of memories came back to me, about experiences I had repressed or long ago buried. This caused a flood of emotions over the last two weeks, making it even more difficult to cope. I noticed that dressing no longer helps. I need to transition to living as a female. That weekend, I told my mom and she had a lot of questions and concerns, but she supported me. I told my wife that I needed to get on hormones and start laser / electrolysis. She, understandably, is very upset. Not just by the transition and the change to me and our lives, but she knows that I've been struggling with this and that I've been doing everything that I can do and she is really worried about me. I made appointments to obtain hormones and laser. I had my first laser appointment on April 2 and a follow up appointment on the 23rd. My appointment to obtain hormones is on April 7th at Whitman-Walker. We will see how that goes. Another transwoman I know recommended them and she was able to get in and get on HRT quickly. I started letting my hair grow out, because I thought this would happen. We will see how that goes. I will need to take finasteride as well because my hair is thin on top. Anyways, it looks as though I am beginning a new journey. I will try to post more frequently with updates. I hope that everyone has had a good week and a Good Friday. Thank you for your feedback and continued support. Love and Blessings, --Lisa

I've been struggling to think of something to write about, being Eve seems so normal to me now, I'm even starting to forget who Steve was and how he thought........... I no longer feel so exposed at supermarkets or anywhere else for that matter, I am truly amazed at this, I never in my wildest dreams thought that any of this was ever going to be remotely possible. I had my second decapeptyl injection yesterday evening, and I can already feel the difference it makes, or is it the galss of Australian Chardonnay ? I know that oestrogen and testosterone blockers help a hell of a lot, but they alone are not enough to make you believable to the rest of the population. Anyway I had to go into the office today, and by chance I met the Head of HR (who is my managers boss), I think that I've always gotten along pretty well with her, but she didn't recognise me at first, when she realised who I was, we had a long chat, and she complimented me on my dress sense and hair etc, and we talked about Trans issues in general. After a while she said that I was totally convincing as a female, well I'm not so sure I replied, but my self confidence has grown a lot in the past 3 months, but I guess that the real issue is that I'm really getting used to myself, being me as I really am and not pretending to be male, or thinking I was pretending to be female. So I have a message to you all, believe in yourself, be who you really are. If you don't do this, you will soon be seen as false, or to state it in a way that most Trans people will recognise, you will be read or you won't pass!, so heed my message! Have a great Easter everyone....... Eve x

Thank you everyone for the comments! It did go very well on Saturday, in fact we probably only talked about it a few minutes since it really didn't come as a surprise to her (we talked longer about "Star Trek," having not previously known of each other's love of the franchise). The more interesting part of the conversation to me ended up being about dating. I haven't dated anyone in quite awhile, but feel more motivated and more confident to pursue that area of my life now that I'm starting to be more honest with myself about who I am. Since I was trying to be something else, obviously the people I tried to date weren't really right for me - hopefully now I can do a better job of it Eve, I agree with your prediction about my wardrobe - the only things I've purchased recently are women's clothing, the only thing that currently keeps me from scrapping everything else is money. But I'll be replacing everything over time!

Over the years I (and you most likely have too) have read countless stories of people transitioning with little or no support which is sad. With that said I would like to extend to those here if there is anything I can do shout out. If by chance you are having surgery with Marci Bowers in California with no support let me know, I will fly down for the day of surgery and the day after at the very least to provide support. I don’t want to see anyone take this path alone which is why I will do this and I pay my way entirely. Perhaps in areas such as the East Coast other will assist if possible and if not I will consider making that trip too, after all I have been away from the East Coast way too long as my family keeps reminding me. Now I am going to shut up :)

Yes. It's good for the complexion ! :)

Thank you, ladies!

Should I admit to blushing, thanks Veronica.

WOW! Just wow. The phrase 'noblesse oblige' comes mind. On such a day too! BRAVO ZULU Karen. Awesomeness on like 7 different levels of awesome. :)

I took one of those on-line surveys, too, (do not recall the survey name) where the reader is presented with various situations or what if type questions and given 5 answer choices. It was fun and educational, but took it with a grain of salt.

That's wonderful Karen! I hadn't thought about it before but i'm going to look for volunteer opportunities like that near me

In regards to Marci and support. She has done an excellent job for the people (employees) at my hotel who work with transgender on a weekly basis and are super fantastic. If I was in the area I would volunteer. Also the nurses in the hospital are well versed with us.

Congratulations on the end of your coping and starting a journey that will hopefully have you arrive to where you should be. Once you have a target date for surgery please do not put off hair removal for the private area as I did and ended up going twice a week for several months rather than spread it out over time. Good to hear True Selves was helpful. With me it was complete validation. In regards to hair thinning, please use caution when looking at options and depending on how much hair thinning there is don't rule out quality hair pieces. So the journey begins, be proud and be you.

Lisa, That's great that you're taking steps, and that your mom is supportive. Good luck on your journey, I look forward to reading more updates! Christie

I've come out to my wife, my mom, my sister and a few friends. Everyone has been extremely supportive. But after the initial shock, I have gotten a lot of questions. Some are really hard to answer, because it's hard to explain a feeling or an inherent need that is totally foreign to someone else. Anyways, after the initial meeting, don't be surprised if you get a lot of questions that you cannot answer or are not prepared to answer. But that's okay. Just take it in stride.

Dear Christie, It sounds to me like you made the ideal choice of the first person to come out to. And also you are doing the right thing by preparing. By considering what comments and questions she may bring up and your responses you will hopefully reduce some of your anxiety. She's friendly so if she asks something that you're not ready for give yourself a moment, take a breath, a sip of water, and see if the answer comes to you. If not it's perfectly okay to say "Great question, thanks! I'm going to have to think about that one and get back to you on it!" Have fun with her. I'm sure you're going to be great. Emma

Hope it goes well for you Christie. Merging wardrobes is a definite step forward, I wonder how long it'll be before you just junk your male clothes? Most "girls" that I know didn't hang about with a merged wardrobe for more that 3-4 months, so I suspect you're well & truly on an exciting part of your journey. Good Luck. Cheers, Eve