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Before gender reassignment surgery one of the things that help me make my time in the wrong anatomy bearable was setting up a home studio where I could get away from the world. I could justify the cost which was done over many years to a rough sum of $20,000 because I have always played guitar and piano. Guitars along accounted for $5,000 where I have all but one which was sold recently to a guitar collector out of state. Over the past year I even managed to setup guitar amps and a revolving set of guitars to play in my living room where most times the television is on with the volume off. My guess is the average person saving for transitioning can't afford this as they are funneling their funds for surgery and therapy treatment. With that said I think it's wise to find some kind of hobby to divert the day to day grief of being on the wrong anatomy. I would guess that many (and I did this too) will stay secluded in the confines of their home dressed as they believe they should be and shun the outside world in fear of the obvious. Three years ago around this time I realized this was not conducive to my mental well being so I dressed angougonous and got out into the world and when I was depressed to the point of not wanting to make human contact I wrapped myself into my music but made sure, along with my best friend that I did get out into the real world. I believe it's paramount to not hide from the world but instead get out even if you must dress in the born gender at least for short amount of times then do what I did, dress angougonous which if your path dictates it one day you will get out dressed in the gender which your mind deems correct. But don't flip the switch from one gender to another over night. So find a hobby and get out into the world which is much healthier than confining yourself to the confines of your home. Living room

Karen, Excellent point! There are MANY inexpensive hobbies to get our minds off of ourselves. We all need to take a break now and then. Every day, I ask myself, have I done everything possible to achieve _______________? When I can honestly say that I have, then it is time for me to enjoy myself. Have notice many transgender people are VERY talented in the performing and fine arts! Monica

Several months ago I mentioned being invited for a girl’s night out at work but never materialized until last night. We planned on five of us meeting at a nice upscale local bar inside of a prestigious hotel at 5PM while myself and one other of the woman started early at 3:30PM. The two of us chatted about of all things manicures and pedicures for about thirty minutes until another of the ladies arrived at around 4PM followed by a third not soon afterwards while the last one arrived at 5PM. While four of us where there one said think of this as Vegas, what happens and is said here stays here. So that lead into various chats about other people at work which where both positive and negative. After several drinks were consumed things got way crazy and fun. I told them a story about one of my co-workers whom I have been working with for 18 years who still calls me Kevin purely by accident now and then. He did this over the past two days and with two new people in our group so it came to a head and I said to the new employees, guess you figured out what’s going on. They looked up and said no. I said prior to January of this year I was male. Got the typical response, I had no idea. When finished telling the story to the ladies they said if they were in the new employees shoes they would not had guessed I was male before. Next thing I see, it’s almost 8PM so myself and two others leave while the last two are waiting for rides from their husbands. I love the next part, I am wearing all black, top and skirt and while walking out of the bar I am getting men turning to look at me and just before exiting the bar one man gives me a nice big smile. Walking out I realized that one does not simply get looks at that moment but would guess they had been looking at me while sitting down with my friends. That was indeed a good feeling to be noticed this way. So I will chalk this up to a great evening.

Monica, in regards to drinks, I had two over three hours, one White Russian and one Margarita as it has been a long time since I was out drinking. I realize people may talk behind one's back so I watch what comes out of my mouth always, not simply last night. Nothing was mentioned about my transition which was great.

Karen, Despite the reassurance of "this is like Las Vegas, what is said here, stays here," please be careful, as I have painfully learned, when someone is willing to gossip about someone else, it is only a matter of time before they gossip about you. When you maintain high standards, you will find some women will fall away. Take that graciously, as the others who have high standards like you, will often be lifelong friends. There will be times of loneliness and isolation due to your high standards, but it will be worth it. Alcohol will loosen lips and women will say things that they regret. May I suggest to keep it to two drinks and to sip slowly. Also, what you hear goes in one ear and out the other. If outsiders ask about what was said in your gathering, play deaf, dumb and blind, saying whatever they are asking about was not discussed. This also goes for office parties! Monica