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Dear Christie, Would like to comment on how women experience their sex drive as opposed to how men experiences theirs (am friends with both Straight and Gay men), and as my dear mother said, may God rest her soul, she was amazed how I can talk about anything with anyone . . . In my opinion, because of testosterone, men have a much stronger drive, in that it is very external, and he can literally see if, and how much, he is aroused. A woman, obvious, can not see anything to validate her feelings, beyond moisture, but she feels an excitement. A woman is driven by a romantic perception of her beloved. Of course, there are exceptions, and NO TWO women or men experiences their sex drive exactly the same way. Please do remember every woman has a little testosterone, and every man has a little estrogen/progesterone. Testosterone is important not just for sex drive, but for material ambition. This is why a woman has a little, in order to insure that she has enough ambition to get things done, around the house and at work. Estrogen/progesterone is there in both men and women to encourage sensitivity and emotional receptivity. Most transwomen report a lowering OR changing of her sexual drive when on HRT. If you or your partner is not satisfied with the level of your sex drive, please bring it up with your doctor, but first give your body a chance to get used to HRT. Your friend, Monica

Love you guys Warren P.S. Got a military cut today

Congratulations on the true start of your journey, the real life test and not so much the hormones. Hormones are easy, pop a few pills, an injection or a shot that if one forgets one day is not a big deal. But with the real life test we don’t forget but make a conscious decision to not dress for an event or a day. One when makes the decision not to dress in the opposite gender that says “I am hesitant”, “is this really what I want”. When I first started my real life test I had to deal with many things that would had been easier to not dress as female and very true when teaching self-defense classes but I persevered and this is what you and others need to do, be the female you are inside, outside, no excuses. I do wish you the very best in your journey to bringing the internal female to the physical world.

Good morning everyone, I've now finished just over a week on HRT, and a full business week with my "Real Life Test." There's nothing really to report on the HRT front, which isn't surprising. I did start a "chart" that I put on my bulletin board so that each week I can write down what, if any, changes I noticed. This week the only possible change was reduced libido - though I can't say that with 100% certainty yet. The "real life test" is another story. I broke through and wore my wig, along with breast inserts, to work and pretty much everywhere this week. This morning I had an appointment with a surgeon (about my shoulder) and for a moment I considered not wearing it there, but then decided that this is either full-time or it's not, I can't pick and choose. So I did it, and it went well. I did have to use my old name for insurance reasons, but they picked up on my transition quickly and added "Christie" to their records (the doctor needs a second to catch up - when he took me to his assistant to schedule surgery he alternated between "Miss Cunningham" and "he" - but that's fine :-) The only time I can see being out and not wearing the wig is to the gym - that may come as well, but for now I won't just because I don't know how wearing a wig on a treadmill would go :-) One pleasant discovery was a different type of band for holding the wig on. It's a band that goes around your hairline and fastens with velcro, and the wig holds on to that. Far more comfortable than pins, and so far it seems quite secure. Otherwise to make sure I keep moving forward I just remind myself to "do what I do" - meaning, don't deviate from what I would have otherwise done in order to avoid anyone seeing me with the wig on. I also went by the LGBT Center this week and got signed-up for their Transgender Resources "system." I have an intake scheduled in a few weeks so that I can hopefully join a closed support group (the drop-in one that happens the 1st Wednesday of each month has been a disappointment to me so far). They're also looking into places where I can donate clothing :-) xoxo Christie

For a while now I have been wanting to get involved in the LGBT community teaching practical self-defense and if there is an audience to teach advance self-defense. With that said if anyone is aware of groups or events for 2016 that I can contact or they can contact me please let me know be in East or West Coast. I have a strong background teaching practical empty-hand and impact tactics along with firearms if the need is there I can even combine class and get into walking cane and baton tactics also.

I agree with Monica on the reply about sex drive. Three years ago compare to today my sex drive has totally changed. For years an erect penis was validation and now it's an entire body "event". Thinking of BAD SELF (hey Veronica), oh if I could describe my bad-self since say two months after GRS what stories I might tell, perhaps nasty girl is a more suitable description for me. There are times when I don;t think about sex for days on end then there are days that the train stop for my body event with a man or woman that usually last much, much longer than in my old physical self, a man (yuk). Christie, I believe going in to this will bring much joy and revelations. Some one notable once said (not the exact words) something like, each day we are born again, make the most of it. I do so, especially that I missed out on so much as a female I embrace it all and hope you will too, take nothing for granted.

Lookin good

Christie, Hiya Darling. Congratulations, on the First Week, of Your "Real Life Test" ! I Have Now Been Basically Living Full-Time, As A Female, For 15 Week's Now. It Is Such A Wonderful, Exhillerating, Experience ! A Young Lady Friend Of Mine, Who Works In Our Local Supermarket, Said To Me, In The Last Couple Of Hour's, That I Look So Happly, And Contented, Which She Said, Is, So Lovely. She Said That She Had Never Seen Me This Happy, Before I Came-Out as Transsexual. I Told Her, That I Have Not Ever Been This Happy Before. Christie, If I Am as Happy and Contented as You are, or Visa Versa, then We Will Both Be Doing Well ! Christie Love, Be Proud Of This Week ! It Is A Wonderful Life-Changing Achievement, Going-Out In Public, Fully, Full-Time, Female-Dressed. I Love Female Undies And Clothes ! Christie, Speak Soon Love. Take Care, Best Wishes. Stephanie. xoxo

You're showing true determination Christie! Well-done girl. Please, provide a link to the head band that you mention, it seems worthwhile investigating. Cheers, Eve

WELL THATS DONE IT ! The paint that I used to trap myself in a corner seems to have dried! I'll post in the next couple of days. Stephanie, thanks for your comment, however I am not post-op yet. Cheers, Eve, oxo

Eve, Hiya. Steph53 here. I Am in the UK, and used the old Chat-Room, but Moved, over here just a Few Week's Ago. I have read some of Your Posts, even though, (with 3 Special Needs Children), I sadly, have Not had a Chance to comment, on Your Posts. I Came-Out, as Transsexual, just over 15 Week's Ago, and I Am Going down the route of MtoF Transitioning. I Started Fully, Full-Time, Female-Dressing, the Day after I Came-Out ! I can tell You Eve, that I Do Not see things becoming any easier, under the Conservative Government, for Us Transsexual's; Transgender's; Etc. I Hope that Life is Good for You, as a Post-Op. TS. Good on You Sweetheart. If You Do leave TGGuide, I think it Would be Very Sad. You are A Very Interesting, and Lovely Lady. (By the way, I Am in Aylesbury, in Buckinghamshire, in the UK) ! Eve, I Hope that the Future is Great for You,,and May You Be Truly Happy, Honey. Take Care, and Best Wishes, Stephanie. xoxo

Maybe I'll have to edit and change the title to good night instead of good bye. Anyway it's late here, I've had too much cote du rhone, and so I'll bid you all good night my friends or bon nuit, mes amis. Eve

Christie you're a gem! who'd have believed (outside of the US) an American saying that! To be honest it's dawned on me over the last 18 months or so that capitalism is failing. To my mind it's because it's gone too far, it seems as if we need to go back or forward to a mixed economy, but one that is in synch with other countries in the "western world", no single country can do it alone (however I suppose one must try and lead). Mixed economy? one where the infrastructure of a nation supports both free enterprise and society at large. Infrastructure? public transport, utilities, defence, legal system*, health, & social services. Free Enterprise? the rest, surely there's enough scope there for those who want follow free enterprise, and progress society with technological advances, I'd hate to stop people from doing that, in fact although I'm somewhat democractic socialist in my beliefs, I admire free enterprise when it's not spoon fed with easy government contracts for public services. Take care my friend, Eve x

Eve, That is the big drawback with voluntary systems, when you're in your 20s you assume you'll never have any problems, so people don't want to contribute. Beyond that it's a matter of rationing - I recall when Bill Clinton was President and he and Hillary were working on their failed health care plan so many people I know would argue that we don't want health care rationed, as if it wasn't already! Obamacare at least improved on that by adding penalties for people who don't join, but I'd still much rather have a single-payer system. Then again I strongly believe that capitalism itself it a complete failure and want to see it scrapped - so I don't see my wish list coming along anytime soon. xoxo Christie

Ok, I'm thinking about it, after having painted myself into a corner.................!........I'm not so sure that we get much more support from Government than you do, remember we have a Tory Government, usually that means paying lip service to any laws or services that they don't like or really approve of. NHS, yes well, we all have to pay automatcally in taxes and National Insurance contributions automatically deducted from our pay packets for whatever medical treatments that are required by anyone. Deductions at source amount to aproximately a third of our gross pay, so treatment is not free. Perhaps a voluntary insurance scheme which includes Gender Identity issues done on a mutual non-profit making basis would be a good answer for countries without an NHS, except that many folk don't realise that they have these issues until later in life, and so likely wouldn't have made any contributions. But isn't this the case for heart attack, stroke, appendicitis or any other illness? If you have equality laws how do the medical insurance companies dodge them? Does someone need to start a campaign? Cheers, Eve

Everyone will ask why you asking about chocolates, right. Actually wrong. I've never been bound by race or religion, when it came and still comes to men intriguing me. But I've always had a thing for someone taller and bigger body structured then my 1.74m (5ft8) structure and around 140Lbs. The top criterion above all else, is he needs to have respect, love and adoration for me. Okay, I grew up in a time when interracial relationships were a no no, but I am grateful my dad crossed all boundaries of interracial friendships. Say something inappropriate in front of me, and I'll put you on your place. That's probably why, all I need a man to be, is himself and respectful towards others. If I like you, it's because of qualities you have, and loving you means our qualities are strengthened by our relationship with each other and I wNt to around you every second I can, with me time for friends. So leave me alone if the guy I choose is darker then me, because he might have been lighter, then you'd be worried over me dating him.

When I hit the age of 30 years old I went from a night person who was totally into playing in a rock band playing in clubs or jamming with various musicians and getting up late to going to bed early and getting up when others were falling asleep. I then get up and be on the computer figuring out complex problems or putting on headphones creating music. The family sleeping soundly and me doing this dressed gave me the little peace of mind I needed to keep sanity in the male body. I was afforded this luxury because I created a (hate to say it) man cave or should I say woman cave??? The majority of people in my position at that time in my life most likely did not have the luxury to dress and be free of worries of being caught so I am grateful for that. This morning I got up at my usual time, 2AM (yeah that's right), go pee, get on the computer, check out what is transpiring on the developer's forums at Microsoft where I am a moderator. After scanning a few of the forums make coffee, sat back down in my boyshorts and tank top, check out Facebook and today note who is going to a pride event that I am going too. All the while the television is on with Led Zeppelin's Song remains the same. I then check out what's going on here then will shortly visit an exclusive web site cult (in a good way) devoted to like minded people that centers around edge weapons. I could take volumes about this place but will refrain but if you love all things shape it's a haven. By 3:30AM I will be ready to dilate, this morning watch a show recorded called "Edge of Alaska" which I really like, by 5AM more coffee and breakfast then take a drive to see about parking at the pride event, back home by 6:30AM, take a morning walk, take a nap, heck look what I have done and the sun has barely risen. Oh, I forgot to mention answering email messages from friends or Skype with one or two friends that are kind of similar to me or are in totally different time zones. You don't need to get up like me but do challenge those reading this to get up and do stuff in the morning.

I've made the decision to stop blogging on this site, there are two reasons for this the first is I have run out of things to say that have any real trans relevance, because living life as a trans woman has become so normal after my transition 8 months ago and taking oestrogen for over two and a half years. The second reason is, I suspect that many UK trans issues are different from within the US where most of the site membership seems to belong to. This is evidenced by the lack of comments and likes from some quarters to my comments and blog entries, this lends a rather parochial appearance in my eyes. To those of you who who do not fit that description, I am sorry to be leaving, and I'll miss you. Eve

Hiya Eve. I Noticed on Your Profile, that You are From Birmingham. With Me being in Aylesbury, it is West Midlands, and South Midlands, so We are Not far away from each other. Sorry, I thought You were Post-Op. I Do Hope I Haven't Offended You Sweetie. That was Not Something I would want to do. Enjoy the Weekend Eve, and I hope We Speak Soon Love. Thanks for replying to Me . Take Care Eve, and Best Wishes, Stephanie. xoxo

Veronica, I don't teach Tomahawks but have skill with them and funny that you asked because I keep a firearm, flashlight and Tomahawk next to my bed for protection. Check out the model I have here. I hear yea about breaking nails which is why I get shellac nail polish which is super strong, never in one and a half years as a nail broke. Had to forgo shellac for GRS and no less then four nails broke in one week.

Dear Eve, Just also wanted to let you know that many transwomen, once they transitioned, consider themselves WOMEN, and are ready to assimilate into the community at large. Have noticed this also with LGB's once they have won the right to marry (but many don't know the fight for their rights have just begun . . . employers in many states can still fire, landlords can still evict, and adoption agencies can still refuse adoption, over sexual orientation. Agree with you that some of the foreigners were being given the cold shoulder, but feel there has been recent improvements. Also agree with you, especially in Great Britain, that transgender people get more government support, especially medical, and the U.S. needs to catch up! TLGB rights in the U.S. is amazingly very uneven from state to state! Please allow me to sincerely thank you for your contributions to TGGuide, and I want you to know new comers will be grateful for what you have to say, because information, even over time, often remains valid. Your friend, Monica

I find it interesting that two years ago I was told that red was not a color for me and agreed yet that person told me red now suits me. For the past two weeks have been wearing Lucky Brand flats in a medium red. Just goes to show (in my opinion) what hormones can do after being on them for a while. Oh, my worst color, yellow, still working on that.

Dear Eve, Lately, I have found many new members from overseas who are "sticking." Perhaps give it a little more time? Your friend, Monica

Dear Warren, Gave you five stars for your honesty in sharing your pain. Felt your YouTube videos were EXCELLENT, and helped many people. Warren, it is not the quantity, but the quality! PLEASE don't give up and keep on sharing those videos! PLEASE be solution-minded as you have been so recently! Know you are in a lot of pain, but we all have suffered terrible pain (mine in accepting that I am a Lesbian) and you are in the right place, so that we can support one another. Feel strongly we all need support from many sources, such as Internet support groups, like TGGuide, counseling, group therapy and face to face support groups. PLEASE keep that job, as work is therapy in itself! Am not minimizing your pain, but do everything ONE DAY AT A TIME to help yourself, and then let it go until the next day. Realize that life can be overwhelming at times . . . Your friend, Monica

Warren, I agree with all that Monica and Karen said and just want to add one thought about not knowing how much longer you can last without the surgery. I obviously don't know how it feels going through what you're experiencing, but several years ago I was going through something incredibly, incredibly difficult, it drove me to thoughts of suicide on more than one occasion (really more than thoughts - no overt actions, but it felt far too close). In one case a thought occurred to me in the midst of those other thoughts - as long as I'm alive there's some hope that things can get better, if I end it, there's not hope at all. It's a thought that's come back from time to time - it's not the most positive thought, but it was enough to keep me alive. And I certainly hope you keep sharing your experiences, thoughts and feelings, if nothing else know that people are listening here! xoxo Christie

We all know that people should be over two people with different skin pigmentation being together but sadly it's still an issue to many, best to ignore those who think that way altogether.

I can not fathom what you are going through to the level of anguish you are at now and do feel for you. I hope that somehow you can eventually climb out of this dark place you are currently in. What I will say is if things don't work out in September do not give up. You need to expand your horizons past your current physical environment (I have said that before) and consider a move to someplace that will be more open to your need to have breast removal. Next up, and this is extreme, if there is so much pain binding your breast consider not binding them, yeah it's probably unthinkable yet if the physical pain is so unbearable it might be worth trying, NOTE: I did not rate or score this blog entry for a reason, how can I "like" what you are going through? If there was "I feel sympathy for you" button I would click it. Does that make sense?

Well I don't know we're to start this is my first blog . So I guess I will start with a little bit about myself . Every since I was a little boy I had these thoughts in the back of my mind and then that led to me trying on girl clothes at first I did not know how to take this but I felt more comfortable in girl clothes and know matter how much I new it was not normal I new I could not tell anybody because I could not deal with the disappointment that my parents and friends would have or me so I tried to suppress it in the back of my mind and do what the world thought was right and be normal. Well as time passed I grew up into a teenager I had a lot of identity problems, and I new who I was on the inside but I could not be that person on the outside because I did not know how to deal with the humiliation from the rest of the world and from family and friends so what did I do I suppressed it some more by this time I got really good at hiding my feelings and not opening up to people like I should. And as more time passed I got married and had three kids and I know that now matter how much I wanted to tell my wife the thoughts that was going through my mind I knew she would not now how to deal with something like that so I didn't tell her and that lead to a divorce because I did not want her to be disappointed in me for wanting to be a woman. Well hate to cut the story short but it's late and a girl's got to get her beauty sleep so goodnight and I will try to finish my story soon love to all and goodnight again.

Hello Samantha, Your story sounds all to familiar, many have been down the same path as you and many will follow as this is something children will never feel comfortable talking to their parents about at various ages or if they do parents many times believe it's a 'passing thing'. Eventually suppression, best to obtain the assistance of a therapist who knows how to deal with transgender else you may head towards a dark place in your mind. This forum is an excellent place to learn from and share.

To all of you, thank-you for your kind words, I have always thought of you as kindred spirits and friends, I also never ever had any misgivings about nationalities, and will miss you all, I will look in every now again, if any of you want to stay in touch please feel free to send me a message. With a lump in my throat, so long, Eve

Dear Eve., Thanks to you, I have learned the commonalities and differences between the U.S. and Great Britain and Europe, in general and when it comes to TLGB issues. If it is any comfort to you, lately I have seen few or none comments to my blog posts, as well as that of others, both U.S.-based and from overseas. The moderators here are working hard to make TGGuide a kinder, gentler and more supportive website. Please check back occasionally to see if we make progress, hopefully we will make it worthwhile for you to return. Your friend, Monica

Hey Eve. Will be sad to see you go. Pop by often to say hello though Love Charl <3

Eve, Im also sorry to hear you're leaving but I fully understand. I've also been much less active lately. For me, I never felt any difference about you being in the UK, nor for that matter, anything other than another sweet regular member and contributor. I know what you mean, though, that it's nice to receive feedback and exchange with others. I also wish you the very best. But also know that you're always welcome back, anytime, for as much or as little as you wish. Warm hugs, Emma

I am sure UK are somewhat different then the US counter-parts and can see this point. I wish you have a very happy life and take care,

Eve, I'm sorry to see you go! I've enjoyed reading your entries, though I know I don't always comment (I'm rather hot and cold about that in general, I often feel like I'm so early in my own transition that I wouldn't have anything useful to add). I wish you the best! xoxo Christie