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Well Nicky I can't "like this" on what happened to you as that is tragic, hopefully the VA will come through for you and don't have to fight too much for them.

I hated to have my removed .. but something over seas killed all my teeth and they all had to be pulled... fighting to get dentures from the VA

For about 12 months I've been dealing with a problem tooth where the dentist recommended a bridge at the cost of $4,000. I was able to deal with the pain for all this time and the motivation was using that money for all my surgeries. Last month my secondary dentist said that I would suggest just having it extracted and I ask if the one behind it could be removed, no issues but felt right. So yesterday I had them removed. They spent about one hour with all sorts of preparations and about ten minutes to pull them and stitch them up. It's been about just under 24 hours and there is only minor pain with (as always) limited usage of pain meds. The hardest part is not being able to eat very many solid foods until Monday. Interesting thing, I went to a all night restaurant for breakfast, got a Denver omelet where I told the cook ahead of time my condition and the waitress stepped in and gave suggestions to the cook. The waitress is currently in dental school and is very well educated as we chatted while waiting for my meal. One of the tech's working at the dental office said if she was in my shoes she would of had both teeth removed. Oh, they did ask if I had any major surgery in the past 12 months, I only told them about my breast implants as I could tell they had no clue I was once a male and wanted to keep it that way. That is my new thing recently, if someone doesn't ask if I was male before I don't offer to tell them. Over the past year I have not been mis-gendered to my knowledge. I love the one incident at Macy's (or was it JC Penny's) where I was paying for a purchase, gave them my credit card, sale's lady stares at it for a few seconds and says "why would a mother name her daugher Kevin?" She then stares at me and said, no, this is your husbands card right? I rolled me eye's and said, I could not figure out my mother. We both laughed and I was on my way.

I was responding to a post titled Courage of Being Transgender in Public and decided not to respond there as my response seemed better off as a blog entry, more visibility. I have no issues passing and if I was not passable I would still had gone through my journey. Sure it's nice to pass and not be mis-gendered but focus should be on what makes you feel proper. For some Vaginoplasty is the only option, others might go with Orchiectomy and in rare cases Penectomy. Vaginoplasty needs two therapist approval and RLT (real life test) so going this route one commits to a gender change while the latter don't and one could very well live their lives in between two genders. Then still on the last two, one might want to fully transition but for health reasons is not an option. These options are good to know going down this path especially if age and health might prohibit one of the options. One must be absolutely positive before any of these options are performed as they of course are irreversible. I was asked to sign a waiver indicating I understood that at me pre-surgery appointment and it took longer to open the pen then to write my signature yet I have heard of some who did the RLT and obtained letters from therapist for GRS (Gender Reassignment Surgery) that have hesitated. There are options for those who look at surgery as they only way to be happy and get surgery regardless of them having the ability to pass. For those who may not pass they need to consider will I be able to still support myself, how many family members and friends will be lost or if I rent will I be kicked out, yes any and all may happen. If you read enough of my blog and post here I tend to paint a picture that is sometimes may sound like doom and gloom that hopefully gets those considering surgery to take real deep thoughts to the outcome of GRS and all that is entailed before and after surgery. Surgery is but a small part of the process yet so huge in the overall scheme of life that one must comprehend the end game and how about if one elects not to have surgery and that leads to a down fall of the person? It's a slippery slop. Bottom line is take the time and make the right decision where you end up in a happy place, leave this world not by frustration of being in the wrong body but leave this world after you have fully embraced a happy you. Personally I am on a mission to destroy all federal and local records of me once being a man which at this moment in time is changing my birth certification.

Hi everyone, I've now been on HRT for 3 weeks - I know the dosage started low, so my expectations of seeing "drastic" changes was set accordingly. Having said that, these are the things I've observed (or think I've observed) so far: (1) Sex drive - this has definitely flat-lined at this point, and it's been the case for over a week now. Attractions are still there, but desire to act on them is non-existent. Masturbation has also gone away entirely (which frees up a good amount of time on the weekends!) I'm sure this is just an adjustment and will come back, but it's the one impact I can say has definitely happened. (2) Skin - I'm less positive about this, but I think my skin may be smoothing out. I first noticed this last weekend, I was sitting watching TV and randomly put my hand on my leg and it felt different, softer and smoother. Now I also think it's happening on my arms (3) Voice - this one i'm almost positive isn't real, but I want to track everything - one of my supervisors said that she thinks my voice is sounding more feminine. I did explain that as far as I know HRT shouldn't have any impact on my voice, but who knows. (4) Appetite - hard to be specific about this one, but I've noticed subtle changes in my appetite, both in terms of how much I eat (less) and what I eat (better) (5) Emotional state - this is subtle, but I think present. I feel like I have now left behind the nagging (and depression inducing) question of "who am I?" or "who am I supposed to be?", and now my focus is on "what do I want to do?" and "how do I want to spend my time?" - questions that have always been present, but harder to address back when I was spending so much time and effort faking who I was. It almost seems silly now to think that I could have known what I wanted from my life when I was trying to convince everyone (including me) that I was a gay man. xoxo Christie

Yes, I had a relatively bumpy stretch of path when I got all my doc's changed, but I just persevered............hope yours is smoothr than mine was..........

SPeaking of 2 identities (from your first comment Eve), I really can't wait until my legal name change goes through, it will remove the last bits of confusion over which name I need to or should use. Obviously with doctors I still need to use my old name, although most of them put Christie in the file. Today I bought a futon and realized it was easier to just use my old name, as that's the name on the credit card and this was a one-time interaction (though after the fact I realized that it might have seemed odd to him that I look like I do and have a very male name). It'll be nice when I'm legally Christie and have all my documents in order :-)

Well, seeing as there are only two types of men, those who masturbate and those who lie, I have to admit to having been an honest man, when I was such a being! Now seeing that in my case m to f transistion wasn't instantaneous (who's is?) my former honest habits stayed with me for quite a while! But my orgasms got less and less fluid as transition progressed, this during the period when I was solely taking oestrogen. As soon as Decapeptyl injections started they soon became dryer and dryer within a few weeks they were totally dry and have been ever since. Yes I needed some sort of stimulation otherwise I wasn't at all interested. However, I do have an overwhelming desire to find out if chocolate is indeed better than sex, as so many females have often claimed................! or are they being dishonest? LoL Eve oxo...........

It's interesting, I was thinking before that I should try to see if I can climax - the interest has been so non-existent I haven't even tried, but I do want to see if the functioning is there or not.

I think it's wise to track changes. For me I never noticed small changes as I was (and didn't realize it) pretty much female hormonally even before hormones. My first test for HRT indicated I was just above the low side for a cisgender female. In regards to sex drive, I learned that it did not go away and did a test each week to see if I could still climax. I would pleasure myself fully tucked which meant I could not wrap my hand around that unwanted thing between my legs. For the entire year prior to surgery I still would climax and would add that I needed erotic thoughts else nothing would transpire. That is an important element, one must have thoughts for arousal to take place. Same is true after GRS, something arouses me and within seconds after seeing or hearing something that spawns arousal everything is pinpointed to my clit and radiates outwards. If there is nothing to arouse than I could go a week or so and nothing happens. It's all in the mind and what it conjures up for the physical to be triggered into that fun state. Anyways keep up your updates, love to hear them.

Yes it's hard work presenting as something that you're not, and life gets so very complicated when you then have 2 identities to try to compensate for not being who you really are and want so much to be............... I'm so glad that things are starting smooth out in your life. However beware of a few bumps in the road that you have chosen to travel, but don't let them knock you off your chosen path. Cheers, Eve

Hello Monica. Somebody's Size, Does Not Matter, Especially When It Comes To Friends. Monica, I Would Be Proud To Be Seen With You, At Any Time. You Are My Friend, And You Also Have A Heart Of Gold. I Take People As Individuals, Regardless Of Their Race; Creed; Colour; Religion; Gender; Sexuality; Or Size ! It Is The Whole Person That Matters, And By That, I Mean What Somebody Is Like Inside, As Well As Outside. Monica, Have A Great Day, Speak Soon. Take Care My Friend, And Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. xoxo

I have recently purchased some new outdoors / country boots, because they are so much more stylish than my old walking boots which although are pretty unisex looking were none-the-less bloke boots - ughh. So these new boots are Dublin River Boots, they're almost knee length to within an inch (25mm aprx), they were advertised as waterproof and breathable with other desireable qualities too, I think they were originally for horse riding but are also advertised as leisure / country boots. So Sunday's forecast was for heavy downpours of rain, what an ideal day to test out my new boots! So with my friend Sharon, we set off for the small and picturesque town of Bewdley on the River Severn which is about 25 miles west of where I live. I parked my car in the station carpark and walked off north along the East bank of the river which parallels the preserved steam railway. the begining of the walk is along a delightful country lanewhich after a mile and a half or so finishes and becomes a narrow footpath. Now one of the reasons for buying the new boots was because they'd be so much better than ankle boots in tall wet grass, so i soon had an opportunity to try them out in such grass near a couple of reservoirs, they were great and totally waterproof. Continuing our walk under the railway / river bridge we were in very muddy conditions and brown puddles - no worries for my boots. We reached Arley which is the next riverside village north from Bewdley soaked through, our outdoors coats were found very wanting! so we looked like a couple of drowned rats. We had decided to cross the pedestrian only bridge & pop into the pub on the opposite bank for a pint or so of cider, it was truly delicious (Thatchers Gold from Somerset), I gave up trying to dry my hair with the hand dryer in the toilets, and sat with hair dripping whilst drinking my pint. We had decided to catch the train back to Bewdley so we set off for Arley Station a hundred yards or so uphill from the pub. If the walk took nearly 2 hours, the train journey seemed ro take only 5-6 minutes. Before transitioning I used to go to this railway a lot, because Steam engines have been an interest to me since childhood, and I don't see why my transitioning should alter that, I'm highly unlikely to start liking dolls houses etc. Anyway I always used to visit the 2nd hand bookstall on the station that specialises with railway books, and the old guy that runs it used to recognise me. I was always sort of wary about marching in as Eve, but I thought that I'd had such a bvrilliant day so far, this was really the last test for me to go in search for a suitable book, and pay the old guy for it. He had seen me at a local pub in December when I first became full-time Eve and had stared at me making me feel very uncomfortable, so this was a last test of my self confidence, I just had to do it or otherwise I'd never be truly Eve. Well I did it just marched in nonchalently found a book, walked up to the counter stared him straight in the face and he served me politely, charging only £2 for a book marked at £4, I didn't really give him a chance to make me fell anything other than a customer. When we got to the car sharon said that he did look at me with a puzzled face when I walked past the counter, you know what I couldn't care less whatever or whoever he thinks I am, & yes I will return to buy more books in the future, I know now that there isn't anywhere much that I wouldn't go to. We both felt pleased with our walk along the picturesque river and beautiful countryside, the poor weather just added to a sense of adventure, I was in awe of my boots and the bookshop was like the cherry on top of the cake.........Eve can do whatever Steve used to do! Cheers, Eve

Lots of people don't open their eyes when taking pictures, I was one a while back but learned to open my eyes, the smile came naturally where it did not in the past because I was a misplaced girl in a boys body.

Perhaps I'll open my eyes the next time I take a selfie!

Hiyya Eve. Firstly, Lovely Photograph's, of You, and You with Sharon. ( Two Lovely Ladies, enjoying a Day Out ! ) Nice Boots, as Well. Eve, I Love Steam Trains. I don't know if You have ever been to the Buckinghamshire Railway Centre, at Quainton, or The Chinnor and Princes Risborough Railway. ( I have Not been on the Chinnor Line, Yet ! ). Going Out Does get easier. I saw an Old Friend, on Saturday, called Matt. It was the first time I had seen him to really speak with, since Coming-Out as TS. He was completely cool about it, and told Me that He will support Me as well. I was very Happy with that. Long Tall Sally is a Brilliant Ladies Fashion and Footwear Shop. Have a Look on-line. That is where I get My Shoes from Now ! I Am Glad You enjoyed Your Walk and Steam Train Journey. I Hope to see Annette Later this Morning, if Not, I will try and see Her Tomorrow. ( Will tell Her You send Her and Miranda A Big Hello ! ) Eve, Take Care, Have a Good Day. Best Wishes, Steph. xoxo

Monica, The boots are made in Ireland, they're very fashionable over here, I think you must have assumed english riding boots because of my nationality LoL, I don't do horse riding either, but I do love the Northern European outdoors and countryside. Christie, Well actually the pub that we went into was a first too, Eve hadn't been in a country pub before, but I hadn't even realised it at the time, I was just being myself, doing what I'd have done pre-transition, I didn't get treated any differently than a cis woman so it was fine, I 'spose i passed, but I didn't think about it at the time. What can I say about being authentic, just relax, be yourself and you'll present as being your true self, oh and it get's easier day after day. I find on the rare occassions that people read me they just don't know what tro do or say, they just seem to freeze, which is why they stare, they mostly don't seem to do it intentionally. I think my next test is to stop staring back as this probably seems hostile, and to walk over to them and say something like "Yes I'm transgendered, hello, and don't be afraid to ask in a freindly manner, but please, most transgender people do hate being stared at". I hope I can remember all that for when I need it! Cheers, Eve

Eve, It's so nice to pass another "test"! I feel like i'm still hitting then on a daily basis - today it was a shopping mall near me. Every day going out as authentic me still feels hard, but every day also seems to have new rewards for doing just that xoxo Christie

Dear Eve, Your boots look very cute, and do not look like the English riding boots you refer to. My nieces (in their 30's) absolutely love their English riding boots, and find them fashionable, even though they have no interest in riding! Think it is great when ladies go out and enjoy the outdoors, even when it is raining! Your friend, Monica