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Emma: I am really glad to hear that you have found a medicine that works for you. I have a lot of problems finding medicines that work for me too. some time ago I was diagnosed with narcolepsy, but all the stimulants that they tried for me would work for a short few weeks and then loose effectiveness, but a couple of months ago she finally prescribed one that works pretty well. At first it caused my mind and body to go super fast. I would just keep busy, busy,busy and wouldn't stop to eat or drink. Finally it leveled out and I'm on a ,somewhat, normal schedule. A lot of medicines don't work the same way for me as for others. Now they just recently started using some sort of genetic coding to help them find medicines that work better with my body. I hope it goes well. Also I hope that your retirement goes well. Just be sure to keep busy. I heard that some people that retire go down hill fast. Bree

Just a hair over 2 months now, and i can not be happier as i feel at ease and calm mind, as for physical changes approx 3 weeks in breast buds had appeared along with sore and tenderness now a almost full A cup with tender nipples and some lactation , i have had slowed hair growth of facial hair, and mild size reduction of the testicals etc.. so far everything is peachy just watch out for doors they kinda hurt when you bump them with your chest

Haven't felt like doing much of anything and really have been just going through the motions. My cat, the cat that Bree got when I was way down from my bout with cancer back in the early aughts, had her own bout with cancer and lost. Initially they thought it was lung cancer and gave us steroids to help her fight it, but it turns out that was just the secondary cancer. She stopped eating, started having seizures almost every hour and was falling apart. When we took her into the vet that's when they found the brain tumor just by looking in her left eye. The tumor hadn't been visible the last visit at all and it was pressing in on her brain causing the seizures, loss of appetite and all that. At fourteen years old and with no real options left I had to say goodbye to her. Our son was there, Bree was there, everyone that was close to her was there, but it was still hard as hell. I'm tearing up now writing about it and it's been a week. I imagine this is going to last a while. I miss my cat. I did start getting somewhere with my therapy. My therapist does like that I'm trying to keep a written journal which I write in when I'm feeling things and what thoughts are driving them since most of the time I feel numb and can't really feel anything at all except an overwhelming case of meh. Ultimately what she has tentatively diagnosed me with is Persistent Depressive Disorder, also known as Dysthymia. It's a possibly ongoing depression, not necessarily major, but it can cause most of what I've got going on in my head most of the time. She and I discussed my abuse as a child, we touched on my gender identity confusion, some of my emotional triggers and she did suggest that a combination of treatments would be good for me, so it looks like I'll be getting some medication to take some of the edge off while I try and work with her to figure out what I can do with or without the medication to deal with this, so I guess that's good. I don't necessarily feel good or bad about the diagnosis. I mean I figured I had something going on in there, only now it has a name. I have been a bit mean to Bree and it's not been fair. I did apologize for it and I've been trying to be more mindful of my mood and what's coming out of my mouth or going on the keyboard. She doesn't deserve any ire I might be feeling. I've had a few really down days which hasn't been helping and I'm weening myself off of caffeine bit by bit. I'm drinking almost none at home and although I've been bad a few days here with lunch and dinner, it's mostly been water or tea. I'm drinking more water at work and less coffee. There is still a bit of soda but not much there. I'm sure that's been a bit of the issue, but being down makes me a bit of a jerk to be around, especially when I can't seem to bring myself to do or want to do anything and that's on me, not Bree. Ugh. I did touch on my gender confusion with my therapist and we talked about why I've gone down the crossdressing route instead of pursuing transition and she did question if I'm doing it to please everyone else and not myself, and no, this is as much about what I need and want as everyone around me. While it was tempting to look at transitioning as this magic pill that would fix everything, that's not going to do it for me. The underlying problems I'm having that led to the depression will still be there and a whole host of new ones. I'd still have to deal with my childhood abuse, my procrastination, self-loathing, laziness and problems being social with people I want to be social with. That isn't going to just vanish with transitioning and right now I'm really doing the crossdressing to feel better and elevate my mood from being low or to raise it a bit so I feel happier, it's not so that I feel normal like I'd originally thought. I was doing it to feel and while I do feel more like my old self, I also get that when I settle in and have some fun at things I'm supposed to be having fun at. A few different road trips with Bree to our favorite restaurant and to the zoo and just being with her in general and engaging on the same level that we used to when we first started dating really opened my eyes to that. Working some of this out has helped, but right now I'm kind of still grieving even while I'm trying to feel better and it's just kind of putting me in this spot where I don't want to do much of anything. Being a bit more creative has helped a bit, but I have to prod myself into doing that. Once I'm in that head space I have a lot of fun with it until things go sideways and then I just kind of shut down. I'm definitely a work in progress at this point. I have a whole host of problems to work through, but I have a great wife and life with Bree who's been nothing but supportive through all of this. I have a diagnosis now and at the very least a hope that I can get to feeling more like I used to with a big ole smile on my face. Right now though, I'm still missing my cat.

"Neverland is home to lost boys like me, And lost boys like me are free" "Peter Pan, Tinkerbell, Wendy Darling, even Captain Hook--You are my perfect story book. Neverland, I love you so. You are now my home sweet home. Forever a Lost Boy, at last." Lost Boy by Ruth B Jeez, can this week drag on any longer? I keep checking my messages and the mail for a response from the insurance company, but no luck. I'm seriously one of the most impatient people on the planet earth. Justin's finger's all healed (for the most part) and we got his stitches out yesterday. ((Cant remember if I told you guys! He was washing a cup in the sink and the dummy put his hand in a glass that was too small for his hands and it broke, slicing open his pinkie. Four stitches and a week of bandage and braces)) He's so happy to have his hand mostly back XD the dope! We obviously got a cup scrubbie on a stick, like, ASAP. lol On a more sad note, one of our dogs is coming down sick My favorite Babe, Ziggy. He's a rather old dog to start with, but the fleas and sensitive skin on our dogs has been relentless and ridiculous. And since Justin's mom is very VERY careful about what we put on the animals in terms of flea treatment, we havent gotten rid of the fleas yet Mostly because she hasnt been interested in trying anything strong, which I can SORT of understand but jeez....poor animals. Anyway, Ziggy chews on his fur a lot and he has really long fur, so it was getting matted in his teeth. We hadnt really noticed because it was very subtle. We started noticing he had a really bad smell on his breath, so we gave him a bath, thinking the smell was just him chewing on himself. Nope, it was the fur stuck to his teeth. But now my poor baby has sore gums, and his mouth bleeds with almost everything he puts in his mouth (food, toys, himself >.<). He hasnt been feeling very well lately and it might just be an upset stomach, but I worry about him. He's not a young pup (Probably around 12-14yrs old, we're not 100% sure since he was a rescue). Hopefully he feels better soon. I couldnt bare to lose him right now I'll let you guys know ASAP when I get a response from the insurance company. A huge part of me is dreading that they'll say no again...I was super confident that they'd say yes at first, but now all I can think of is them saying no....Ugh, I hate this. Ren

@Monica: I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed The Well of Loneliness. I'm looking forward to reading it myself! @Bree: I'm sorry to hear about your narcolepsy. I can't imagine how tough it must be to have that to deal with, but I'm wishing you the best in finding a medication that helps you with it. Indeed, about retirement and keeping busy: that's a concern of my wife's. I've also heard about this and I promise that I will try. I think a key is to stay engaged with others and feeling some level of productivity, of being challenged, and getting things accomplished. That's relatively easy at a job because we have to, and harder when we're home alone. It takes a level of personal commitment, I think. I'm sure it will take a change in mindset, and I'm a little intimidated! Take care, Emma

Hiya Nicky. Thank You Very Much for Your Good Wishes. Nicky, I hope that All goes well for You Young Lady, When You go to see the Endo, on the 16th. You can be so Proud of Yourself, with how far You have already come. Continuing Good Luck as well. Nicky, Take Care Young Lady, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxx

Back to endo on the 16 th hope the news is good for me too,, Step53 i hope everything goes smooth for you

Hiya Nicky. Well Young Lady, You are looking Good. I Love the Pink Top. Pink is My Favourite Colour. Nicky, Congratulatios, on Your first 2 Month's on Hormones. ( I have an appointment with My Doctor's, this coming Wednesday Morning, and I Am hoping, that they will Starr Me on Hormones, as I have already been living, and Dressing; Full-Time as a Female, for over One Year Now. ). Nicky, Continued Good Luck, and Good Health, and You look Gorgeous Young Lady. Speak Soon, Take Care, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxx

Thank you sweety

I feel so bad for you and your family. I know what it's like to loose such a dear friend. A few years ago I had a miniature horse named peanut. We had been though a lot together.One day I found him with some really serious flesh wounds, some dogs had tore him up really bad. My neighbor gave me some medicine and told me what to do. Eventually he healed and grew his hair back. Well then a couple of years after that some stray horses came by and he found a hole in the fence and started running with them. I noticed him to be missing and went looking for him. It was so devastating to find his body and around my home I'm the undertaker if any pet dies. It hurt so much and I miss him a lot.

I miss our cat too. I miss the funny, weird things she did, and the recliner cuddles. She was awesome, and just suddenly gone and it's okay that it hurts. It's SUPPOSED to hurt. If it didn't, it would mean that you didn't love her, and you loved your cat a lot. We'll get through this, and everything will be okay. Not tomorrow, not next month, but soon and and bit by bit. I can be patient while we do, and you've been good about listening when I tell you how some of your behaviors make me feel. The fact that you CARE is really what matters most to me, not how succesful you are or aren't on a particular day. And the fact that you care about YOURSELF enough to get help to feel is huge. So many people with the various forms of depression just sort of form an identity around it, and accept that's how life is and don't stand up and say "I want to feel better". You're miles ahead of a lot of people, and I'm grateful for it. Love you, in all your cranky and quirky glory.

This Video coverage of the rally that took place in Melbourne because of the cuts and changes to the safe schools coalition programme. I got recording of the rally plus i got interviews with some of the speakers such as Jo Hirst the author of 'The Gender Fairy'Like always please SUBSCRIBE to keep up to date with my videos!! You can always find me on other social media accounts that are linked to this youtube account. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmO12osJ2QI

About just under two months I applied for my passport, three weeks later I was informed my birth certificate was not good, so I called, asked what needed to be done which was provide another one (which I had) and sent it to them. I never changed my original so it still says M for gender. Today I am now a proud owner of a US passport with F for gender. There was never anything mentioned about my gender change, only a birth certificate not being correct because it did not have my mother and father names on them while the second one did. Last thing is getting my papers back as they are originals but they did send an email indicating my pass-book is still yet to come and hope that is when my documents are returned to me. So for those following the same or similar path as me all I can say is gender change is a non-issue with the right documents e.g. Marci Bowers supplied me with the proper document the week after surgery. I now want to travel to England, Canada and the Philippines this year.

Update, came home today and the pass-book and documents arrived woohoo.

I agree! There is something neat about the little blue( it was blue when I got mine) books. I have no stamps as I'd never gone anywhere that required Visas. I basically only have it because we go to Canada and the Carribbean often and they tightened the laws. We HAD to have it for a cruise to Alaska because it stopped in Canada for literally four hours. Lol

Hi Briannah, Thanks for your reply. In my case I think they have kept my documents because I also applied for a pass-book which has not arrived yet and in a recent email it was indicated I may have up to three packages. On a side note, I really don't need the pass-book but thought, what the heck, get one

I seem to recall getting the paperwork we provided back with the actual passports. However take that with a grain of salt as this was like 8 years ago and I get confused about little details and Nikki didn't remember either way. I know I did get them back though as I would remember going through another round of the song and dance with the state department to get a copy of my birth certificate since I was navy born in Japan. I envy people who can just go to their birthplace and get the dang thing. The state department makes it such a production.