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Yes, please be sure to get anything and everything in writing before you take actions that may be irreversible. But good on you, Ren, for your steadfast follow up. That's what it takes to get through the beaucratic crap. It's a royal hassle but it's worth it. I agree with Christie, too, get your hands on the actual law(s) and make yourself an expert. No one cares as much as you do, and it's possible you'll find language in there that will help you.

Rocky Garden First saw a 12 year old girl Working on her large garden by herself Six to eight hours a day Moving heavy rocks to build up her garden Mother shouts to her father to come, please help her He works beside her for a few hours That summer was a drought Her garden burns in the heat Next year, at age 13 She builds up her garden further Having bags of topsoil and gravel delivered Enlarging her already large garden Separating her vegetables by a wall of stone Proudly sharing her vegetables with her family Father does not help her This year at age 14 My, how she has grown! She looks like her mother Still working alone She builds a chicken wire fence around her garden, complete with a door To defend against the neighborhood deer and rabbits She builds another garden by the side of the house To provide her mother with herbs And another, on the other side of the house In partial shade, for shade-loving vegetables Another girl next door builds a large garden Following her example And an art student sketches their gardens Savoring the idea of smelling and eating Their vegetables Healing her broken heart

Obtaining a female voice for the male embodied female is that thing to which can’t be surgically remedied with a 100 percent success and is the holy grail for many. So what are common methods? Mimic the cisgender voice on their own, purchase some type of series of lessons, enlist the aid of a voice therapist or go out on a limb for questionable voice surgery which statistically speaking can do more harm than good. Many factors play into how one goes about obtaining that female voice which range from being in the closet, monetary funds to available resources. Kind of hard practicing the voice with others in the house and you are in the closet or money is tight, hard to overcome these things and can be frustrating when funds and a place to practice are available but no therapist or one is shy to make appointments in fear of what they might think of you. No matter which avenue is chosen the ultimate test is picking up the telephone, talk to a stranger and have the responses coming back with female pronouns. It’s relatively easy to learn to speak female for a short time e.g. one or two minute conversations but eventually for many the vocal chords want to relax, go to a comfortable place (heaven forbid), the deep male voice rather than the soft/higher voice we aspire too. Things that can help, learn to breathe from the abdomen rather than the upper chest, placing your finger on your Adam’s apple, when at the right place the Adam’s apple rises and stays there. Try laying on the floor, this makes it more difficult to use the upper chest for breathing. Place a book on the abdomen and feel it working and if not then work on that aspect alone followed by going back to speaking at the right pitch and resonance. After getting good with one or two minute shots of female voice try these things. Speak the following and maintaining the female voice (note between each word pause a second). One, two Now do One, two, three, Then One, Two, three, four etc. Got that! Now do One, two, three, “Every dog has its day” Practice that until you are satisfied and now put together several quotes like this and pick a random one, no peeking. After speaking the words finish with describing the quote. The idea here is the first part the brain is comfortable with while explaining the quote is spontaneous and now you have to work harder at maintaining the female voice. Can’t do this at home? Why not do it when driving to work or taking a walk? When I took voice lessons I was given 30 quotes, some did more than the above as they would challenge more aspects of getting the female voice done properly. It’s important to keep in mind that the older you are the more chances there are for one to slip back into that deep voice rather than the soft voice. Lastly, set a reasonable standard for your female voice rather than go for something that is unobtainable as this will help you to get a passable voice. These are just a few suggestions that may or may not work for you but if not considered or tried one will never know. Closing out with a short story. I belong to a local transgender group on Facebook, was invited to meet ten or so at a local club. I walked in 30 minutes early, was approached by a female (lesbian) who sat down at my table and started talking to me. Several minutes into talking she asked, are you here alone? I said no, I am waiting for a group of transgender people and they are all dressing in prom dresses (I did not). She then said "is that them" pointing to the entrance. I said yes, recognized them from FB pictures. I waved and said "Hi", several stared at me from where they were standing then decided to come over. When they did I said I was part of their group. One (I think she is the leader) said :"I was not sure who you were... all I saw were to cisgender females" About thirty minutes or so into talking with them several complimented me on my looks (and most important) my voice which in this case I know they would never had said it if they did not mean it. It took me a while to obtain that voice and so happy for having taking lessons by a professional therapist who's main task in the beginning was to cultivate what I had obtained on my own.

Hiya Karen. It Is so Good to see You here. How Are You Young Lady ? Okay, I Hope ! Karen, firstly, Congratulations on Your Voice. Secondly, Your Looks ! Karen Payne, You are one of the Most Beautiful and Pretty Young Ladies. You are Stunning, and Gorgeous ! Karen, Anyone meeting You, especially for the first time, ARE going to look at You, as if You are a Natural-Born-Female. Karen, I have been Female-Living for just over a Year now, and a lot of My Female Friend's, have told Me, that I can now " Pass " well. But, I Am nowhere near as Lovely as You are Honey. Karen, As for Your advice on Voice-Training, I Am getting Fairly Good, especially when out in Public, but, back with My Children, and Er-Indoors, Well !! I Can tell You sometime else about that ! As for You, meeting-up with Your Friend's, who thought that You are a Cis-gender Female, It just goes to Prove, what a Pretty and Beautiful Young Lady You Are ! I have seen so many of Your Photograph's on TGGuide, that back-up that remark as well. By the way, How is Your " Sister ", who We have seen You with ? I hope She is Okay too ! Are You still going out on Your car journey's on Saturday's ? Karen, Speak Soon, Take Care, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxx

Lovely, Monica, thank you. But, were you writing about you? Emma

Ren, I'd suggest double (or triple) checking on the drivers license rule - people working at agencies are known to get the law wrong (social security by me initially refused to correct my gender id, but I eventually got them to see they were wrong). Looking online it doesn't look like new hampshire requires full on surgery for a gender correction on drivers license (you are in New hampshire, right? My apologies if I got that wrong) Chrissy

I'm honestly not sure why I'm even blogging. I hardly see a point in whining about my ___ anymore. It doesnt really get me anywhere and I just end up looking like a whiner. I've fought with insurance. I've tried jumping through loopholes and even my doctor stood up to try and talk to them. But the answer is no, no matter what I try. My gender says Male on it, so my surgery is no longer a breast reduction. It's transgender surgery. But no, you have to use a code for gynocomastia for my claims because I'm male legally. But I dont have gynocomastia? Oh but that doesnt matter because that surgery is elective and cosmetic. I explained that it's only cosmetic because they say it is. According to me and my doctor and the surgeon, it is necessary due to health problems which apparently dont mean squat when it comes to insurance. Because of my stupid ID... Their solution? "Then maybe just change your ID back to FEMALE". Which I can only do every 3 years I was told...So wait 2 years to change my ID for an insurance company I might not even have by then? No thanks. So it's back to square one (until I can switch insurances. Good riddance Blue Cross Blue Shield Anthem!!!! You dont cover squat! ((Only office visits, no labs, no eye, no dental, no ER)) so why keep them!?) Fundraising. Sort of. Saving up money on the side when I can, plus my gofundme. HUGE HUGE HUGE THANK YOU to Artemis and Lori R. for donating 50$ to the cause. So much love your way! On another note, I'm trying something else to try and earn money for surgery. So far I only have about 500$ saved up (8,500$ to go.....). Fairy Jars. Some of you MIGHT have seen them on my facebook if I've added you, but here's a very minimal example of what I'll be doing. While Lit inside: Outside without lighting: I'd made this particular one to try it out and it was for someone in California, but she hasnt been able to pay for shipping yet so it hasnt gone anywhere. I'm attempting to find lighter jars so shipping will be cheaper plus I want to focus on recycled jars and materials so there is less waste and plus I wont be spending a ton of $ on supplies. These are only for decoration and should NOT be used with a real candle (battery operated only) else it will catch the foam inserts and tissue paper on fire! I'll be doing different themes once I get more supplies (wolves, dragons, more fairies, etc) with a different variety of jars in size and shape. Different colors as well. Some may not have as many decorations added onto the outside like this particular one (it was custom, mostly done by Alex) but I'll update and add photos as I get there. Like I said, payments for the jars will go directly to my GoFundMe account as this seems to be the best solution for everyone when it comes to payments and where the money will be going (towards surgery). I'll let you know how that goes... Havent sold any yet (because I have yet to get supplies) but I have a few people interested. We'll see.... In other news, there isnt much going on. Alex joined a few groups on facebook that he could relate to and seems to have found his own little world to be in, which is good I guess. It gives him more independence and a sense of his own life or something like that. He's a little annoyed right now because our cellphone completely kicked the bucket (I kind of figured it would. It was slowly getting really annoying kinks such as the screen messing up and the buttons not working) So now he cant text people while we're at work or something. I have to get a new one ASAP for work and whatnot but the people I share my verizon plan with are being a pain in my ____ about if I should upgrade through the account or just buy a prepaid. I have no idea what I'm looking at and theyre all just brushing it off like it's nothing but I NEED a phone for work. I'm giving them another day to figure it out before I do it on my own, to hell with their advice or preferences. My job is more important than their preferences on MY phone. Yes, I'm in a slightly cranky mood....I blame shark week. Dyphoria is totally kicking my butt tonight and it's made me severely annoyed. Plus getting to work and climbing into the work jeep---oh look, it's out of gas. Climb into the work van instead---oh look, two flat tires. Try to fill the tires back up and end up ripping off the stupid hub caps because they were preventing the damn nozzle from putting air in the tire---oh great, I cant get one back on. Try kicking and oh nice, I split one of my toenails because I forgot I had sneakers on and not my steeltoe boots.... Ugh, it's been a lovely night. Plus I dont remember if I said this but I apparently have a damaged Trapezius muscle which is preventing me from exercising so I've gained weight and feel horrible plus it keeps siezing up every few days. Oh yeah and my 225mg of thyroid medication (highest dose I'm allowed) isnt working and I might have three tumors in my thyroid glands. YAY ME! -__- I'm going to bed now.....>.> Ren

cant do 4 or 3 as my internet is not good enough. tried number 2 but neither know what to do since it's not happened to them before. and I tried 1 and got no response.

Hey Warren, I agree, your insurance has you stuck in a Catch-22. Here's a couple of ideas: 1. Does your state have an insurance department or commissioner? Here in California we can file complaints with them. If you find them, call 'em up, tell your story, and ask for their suggestions of what to do. 2. Now that you have the firm "no" from your insurance, call your doctor, surgeon, and the like to ask "what would you do if you were in my situation?" They deal with this bureaucracy every day and may have an idea. 3. You might consider creating and posting some sort of YouTube video. I remember a few years ago a guy posted a great vid "United Hates Guitars" that went viral and yes, he got lots of support. Check out his vid and see if you can mimic it in some way. Here's the link: http://youtu.be/5YGc4zOqozo Your vid might be titled "Anthem Hates Trans". 4. Or, you might write a short speech and set up a stage that looks like a TED Talk... call it a REN Talk. People will make the connection and that might help get traction. But try hard to have a similar tone to what they do on TED. Be firm yet respectful. You want all people who see it to understand your plight and want you to succeed. In fact you might even close with a "What would you do?" which I seem to recall is used by some TV show like 20/20 or something. Thats all I can think of for now... Emma