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Showing content with the highest reputation on 07/01/2016 in all areas

  1. It's not just that first introduction to cheating from my dad, it's his general behavior on top of it. He constantly preaches responsibility, and yet when it's HIS behavior that requires it suddenly we're all crazy and he never did anything wrong (he's huge into gaslighting everyone when it's him). And then raising me to validate cheaters if their partners don't make them 100% happy. He and my stepmom literally taught me all my life that it's my mothers fault he cheated (I was three, and at my grandparents all week, and they wouldn't watch me on weekends because they thought my parents should actually raise me some of the time too, and Dad wanted to go out all weekend drinking for example), and that the reason he never cheated on my stepmom was she literally subsumed her whole life into him. And it wasn't until the last ten years or so ago that I realized how REALLY unhealthy all that is. Not to mention all his talk about blood ties being SO IMPORTANT and the man makes every effort NOT to connect to my son. Literally the only time in my offsprings life that my father asked to spend time alone with him was...to teach an emotionally unstable 10 year old to shoot guns. I wish I was kidding. Daniel inherited a hormonal disorder from his biological paternal family, and had a lot of challenges growing up that were based physically, where as I had a lot based environmentally. both difficult childhoods, but we got through them. But yes, let's teach a 10 year old who at that time has severe mood swings and is too young to consider medication to help because of the nature of the disorder and the effect of hormones on the brain to shoot guns. THAT can't possibly go wrong! *sighs* Now that he's an adult and pretty much grown up of that, he can learn anything he wants, but he's not a big fan of guns. So you can see it's a giant, interconnected can of worms. And let's just say it's been interesting since I opened it.
    2 points
  2. Jay, Oh, right, you're in the UK - how is all that going? I woke up in the middle of the night and thought to check, was shocked to see the result! Now just waiting for Scotland to vote again and leave the UK! I'm of Scottish descent, would like to see them break free :-)
    2 points
  3. That's so good to read this Friday morning when everyone around me is talking doom and gloom. It's funny but I read this and thought to myself 'You want what I have and vice versa - can't we just swap bodies?' then I read the comment you had left for me - and I can see you were thinking the same kind of thing I wish you well in your continued journey and am so pleased that you have this to look forward to. It's great news.
    2 points
  4. Just been thinking on the title of your blog. "On being me". How about "On becoming me" just a thought. Big hugs.
    2 points
  5. As I mentioned in my last posting, I had a consultation in Philadelphia on Monday about bottom surgery - it went very well, I liked the surgeon a lot and liked the work that she showed me. So I'm scheduled for December 27 :-) I had anticipated waiting until spring because of school, but classes finish in the fall on December 23, and there's over a month before spring classes, so this worked out, and financially it's VERY helpful as it lets me get this under my current insurance, and in the same year as top surgery so that I have only 1 deductible to worry about. I had a "gut check" moment while waiting for the surgeon - this time my gut's response was "leave me alone! this is good!" - so apparently my gut is getting a little annoyed at me checking-in too much. I drove down (hate driving, but it seemed easier), and the drive back was awesome - nothing about the drive itself, just knowing that I'm getting this done, that it's scheduled and before we start 2017 I will be just about as much of a woman as I can be :-) (physically at least) Now I get to have the conversation with my brother in which I tell him :-) That should be fine, we've already spoken about me being trans and he's totally supportive, just awkward having any medical discussions with him.
    1 point
  6. Had a crossroads moment, and finally ventured on to the harder path. Helping Nikki deal with his issues and history is making me take hard looks at my own. Some can't be conquered, but they can be mitigated. Or at the very least, it can be said 'that was NOT okay'. My parents are divorced, they have been since I was very young, around 4. I don't think either were very happy in the marriage, but it ended because my father cheated on my mother. And who outed him? Me. Yes, he was so interested in getting laid with his mistress (who was formerly a student in his high school history class, I'm told by those old enough to remember they all think the affair started after her graduation, but I can't say that as fact, I really don't remember) that instead of waiting til days when he had free time that didn't include watching me, he took me to her parents house (where she still lived) and left me alone in a strange house while he vanished with her. It was frightening and confusing for little me, and I have never liked unfamiliar places since. And of course it came out when my mom asked me what Daddy and I did that day. I don't remember if I was instructed to lie or not. The only parts of the story that were strong enough to impact on my young memory were being left alone in the strange place (stupid with a 3/4 year old in a house that isn't childproofed anymore) and nearly drowning in the pool because Dad wanted Leslie to lounge with him, and I do remember she thought she should be in the pool with me and that I was too young and they had a fight about it. She was also the one that realized there was a problem and pulled me out when I had lost my grip on the floaty device Dad has given me. So flash forward to my teen years, and Dad and my stepmother both constantly explaining to me that the whole thing was my mothers fault, because she wouldn't go out drinking with him on weekends or the camping trips every weekend in the summer so Dad and his friends could photograph trains. Um...they were parents. Who both worked full time, and I already spent 40 hours a week with mom's parents or dad's grandparents (they alternated). And I was pressured into agreeing with this Mom should have done whatever Dad wanted for the marriage and it was her fault he cheated on her indoctrination. I never really agreed with it, but it never went well for me pushing back with Dad and stepmom. And Dad is a big one for expecting people to face the consequences of their actions, until it comes time for him to do it, nothing is ever his fault. So today I wrote out on Facebook where he will see it that it's never okay to cheat. I didn't direct it at just him, I've hard this story multiple times from multiple cheaters, but its' really clear I don't believe any of them, including him. I thought about protecting it so he couldn't see it, but no. I'm done, and if my stepmom gets involved again with another e-mail I will enter the fight full on, but I have no real need to attack them, but they do have a clear understanding now that I do not and never did believe and am done with the bullshit. They can choose to save face, and drop it for good (yes, they still reinforce the partyline 40 years after the fact, it's creepy I know). So why did I write it out ant leave it public if I'm not actually looking for a fight? Because I'm looking to work on me, and stop condoning things that really aren't okay, and to withdraw my previous complicity. People always implied these moments feel good, and they really don't, they just feel kinda raw and vulnerable and I know unpleasant things are coming as SEVERAL of the people who fed me the spouse blame bullshit can see it, but I'm done. Man up, woman up, agender up, whatever is appropriate and either fix or end the committed relationships and THEN seek out new ones. It's not that freaking hard. I've hard so many excuses, kids, financial, partners are fragile, but none of them is an appropriate reason to harm their families. And I really don't know anyone who grew up with parents who did that who aren't harmed by it in some way, myself included. I have yet to meet one who says "it had no impact on my understanding of commitment, honor, responsibility, and personal feelings about and in my family". Meh. Untwisting my past is hard. So thanks for the trust issues you started there Dad, but I don't really want them and am trying to work them out of myself as much as I can. Where we started is clearly not where we have to end up, or a board like this wouldn't even exist, let alone welcome me. But I did open the can of worms, and now all I can do is watch them wriggle out and hope they have the sense to take the oppurtunity to go back to the dirt where they belong instead of trying to live in my head anymore.
    1 point
  7. Dear Briannah and Friends, To my parents' credit, they did not cheat on one another. Perhaps it was because my father's first wife cheated on him while he fought in WW II. Don't believe in double standards. Never cheated on my partner, and I don't date the ex's of my ex's or friends. Sadly, even after agreeing to be exclusive, I have had partners who cheated on me from the beginning. They weren't faithful even when we were courting! For what it is worth, looking back, these cheaters were very likely Bipolar. My only recommendation is to court for a YEAR, before moving in together (it is hard to keep up a lie for a year or more, but a few (sociopaths) are able to do it. And, my second recommendation is the 90 day rule (and this was before Steve Harvey thought it up!), which is not to be sexually intimate before 90 days. What concerns me about your father, was that he had relations with minors, which makes him a pedophile. Am sure the girl was not his first nor his last. If that girl was my daughter, he would be in JAIL. Am glad you turned out a great woman, despite an abusive childhood. AND YES, what you describe is CHILD ABUSE! Your friend, Monica
    1 point
  8. Dear Friends, Growing up, I was much closer to my father than to my mother. The physical abuse from my mother started when I was four years old, when she saw me shooting up in height, and that I was not going to be petite like her. Also was physically abused by my father because I was unplanned and not brilliant. Think parents have expectations and hopes for their children, and when they are not fulfilled, parents can be deeply disappointed. If only parents realized that they do not own their children, but are loaned their children by the Higher Power! Am pleased I found reconciliation with both parents well before they died! Your friend, Monica
    1 point
  9. 1 point
  10. Hiya all I think by letting my animosity go into writing, the realization that I was hampered in a way becomes acceptable. Because if I didn't have to overcome any of this, I might not have had the urge as a child to understand the differences in genders and so doing might have been a total jerk or bigot when it came to gender or equality. I also believe because of this I sculpted the way my father looked at gender and sexuality, because I know he would've looked at it differently if it didn't happen to his baby. So changing an older generation into accepting what is as old as time but was never talked about is an achievement in itself. Knowing that I do have support and I do acknowledge all in the struggles of gender and sexuality not because I'm part of the struggle but have a greater understanding of it in the same time. I appreciate that I was allowed to broaden my knowledge as I pleased by my father, and that he took the stand to say till here and no further for my mother. So yes, a dictator was in my family and that role was filled by the member you would think of as masculine or the father figure, and turned out to be the mother, supposedly nurturer, supposedly supporter of offspring. Total reversal of roles, but I got my emotional and physical support even if it wasn't from your atypical gender form, and I am grateful he was in my life for 19 years of my life. I'm glad I got to work with his tender side, to have the nurturing love of a strong man that in the end even taught his granddaughter that the love she experienced, and she was worthy to know the meaning not just the word love. Love all Hugs and kisses Michele
    1 point
  11. Tomorrow is New York Pride! It's expected to be one of the biggest ever as a result of the emotional impact of the Orlando shootings - and there will also be an increased NYPD presence as a result of the shootings. I expect that they'll do a moment of silence for Orlando - they do it each year for those lost to HIV/AIDs, and it's always an incredibly moving experience - you're on the streets of NYC with thousands and thousands of people, and there isn't a single sound (otherwise it's almost impossible to be on 5th Ave. or in the Village in total silence, except perhaps during a snowstorm). For me, this is my first NY Pride since I started transitioning. Last year at this time I had "come out," but I hadn't really started transitioning yet (I went for a gender bending look at Pride). So this will also be the first time I'm actually marching and not just watching (I did also volunteer one year). I'm planning to march with Identity House, the peer counseling organization I volunteer with, which is what prompted me to march. In the past I've wanted to, but didn't really have any group that I felt strongly enough about to march with. But back to the point about it being the first Pride since my transition started. That has prompted me to look squarely at my own ambivalence about being trans. I don't mean that I question whether I am or not, any question like that was resolved LONG ago - I mean that at some level, at some times, I try to reject my identity as a transwoman, and "just" be a woman. Sometimes it's an affirmative thing, I'm affirming my gender identity as a woman, other times though it's a negative, it's me trying to not be trans. This is kind of a hard thing to acknowledge here in particular - on this website - but I think that makes it more important to do. I went to the Transgender Health Conference in Philadelphia a few weeks ago and realized that I felt very uncomfortable. In my day-to-day life I'm typically the only trans person around, this was a rare situation where I was in roomfuls of trans people, and I wasn't comfortable, which upset me a lot. I don't think it's unusual, perhaps others (many others even) here have experienced it - or something similar. There is an underlying wish - that is, I have an underlying wish that I had just been born a cisgender woman - and it can feel horrible to recognize that that will simply never be my reality. There is no amount of transitioning that will ever make me a cisgender woman. I am taking a step to work through this tomorrow at Pride - I found a shirt on-line to wear, a pink tank-top that says "Trans Women are Real Women" :-) I think it's important for me to take ownership of that message - keeping in mind that while I'm wearing it for Pride, I'll also be wearing it as I travel back and forth to the city, which means around an audience that isn't necessarily receptive to the message. So I just wanted to - or rather, felt the need to - share that. I'll post some pics on Monday :-) xoxo Chrissy
    1 point
  12. Hiya Chrissy. Us " Trans Women " ARE " Real Women ", and Your T-Shirt, IT IS Something that I Hope that You Will feel Very Proud to Wear. Chrissy, I Am Very Proud of You, for marching in the new York Pride. ( I Had Hoped to go to London Pride, but, sadly My Wife decided to go away Today, and I had to stay at Home, with Our Children. There Will Be other year's ! ). At London Pride, the U.K.'s International Development Secretary - Ms. Justine Greening, announced at London Pride - Today, that She Is In a Same-Sex-Relationship. Wow ! What a Time and Place to make an announcement like that ! Good Luck to Justine and Her Partner. Chrissy, like Yourself, I have Always Wished, that I had been born a Cisgender Female. Still, Never Mind Chrissy. We are Both on Our Way, to Physically be the Female's that We Have always been inside. ( Chrissy, You are Both Very Pretty, and very Beautiful. You are also well on the way, to being who You Really are. Good Luck to You Sweetheart. I Mean That - Sincerely ! I Am Very Proud, that You are one of My Friend's, here on TGGuide. ). Chrissy, I hope that You Enjoy Pride. Have an absolutely Fantastic Day. I Really Look Forward to seeing Your Photo's. Chrissy, Take Care, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxx
    1 point
  13. Hiya Michele; Veronica; Chrissy; and Emma. Emma, what a Great Description. You are so right, about We can " Be rightfully proud of ourselves. " We All have a Massive Amount to be Proud Of. Have a Good Day, and a Great Weekend ahead. Take Care Michele; Veronica; Chrissy; and Emma. With My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxx
    1 point
  14. Hi Michele and Christie, I have a fair amount of animosity toward my mother too. I can't help but wonder where I got the shame I felt when, as a preschooler, I knew that wanting to play with the girls, do girl things like play ballerina, and so forth. I know this: she spanked me for many infractions so I can only assume she tried hard to spank those notions right out of my head. Obviously it didn't work. I'd ask her and my father but both are gone, and I have no siblings, so I can only wonder. But my shame was also reinforced by Ray Blanchard and his cohorts. As I grew up and came across anything to do with transsexualism, transvestism, I ​absorbed it (in secret). I was drawn to information. As I think about it now I don't know why I didn't go to the library. Might not have found anything but who knows. But I must move on, forward. It doesn't do me good to dwell or hold resentments. I've learned so much in the past several years, that we are all normal, lovable, and respectable the way we are. I sometimes mentally trip on that but overall I'm coming to accept myself. I hope everyone who reads this is too. BTW, a side effect of these feelings - that I believe many trans people share - is a tendency to overthink. We try to control ourselves, how people interact with us, and are often compelled to wonder "what might have been." Speaking for myself I think this arose from the shame of who I really was. Like living a lie that I had to constantly protect against others' awareness. As we share ourselves and are vulnerable, shame dwindles into nothingness. It's largely self-imposed, after all, and once its reason for existence is removed, we have the freedom and inner power to be ourselves, to be rightfully proud of ourselves. Hugs, Emma
    1 point
  15. Best wishes Chrissy. Go, go, go. XXX
    1 point
  16. Hiya Chrissy. Your News is Brilliant, Honey. I Am So Pleased for You, and You Must Be So Pleased and Happy. You Can Be Very Proud Of Yourself. Chrissy, You Will Finally Be The Real Woman You Are ! Congratulations Young Lady. You Are A Lucky Girl. Chrissy, Well Done, Take Care, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxx
    1 point
  17. Michele, Thank you so much for sharing that - I have to admit that I've never met someone who is intersex - or at least I don't know that I did, so it's an experience/identity that I know very little about. I hope that you'll share more of your experience here. Your experience with your mother definitely resonated with me - I've struggled for awhile over thinking that my parents in so many ways failed me as a child - not in the same way that you experienced, but in terms of a form of neglect, mostly emotional. For so long I was hung up between "my parents screwed up," and the defense that "maybe they did the best they could?" My therapist recently added something incredibly useful to help me move past that dialogue - "I needed more." I found that helped a lot, it helped me move past wondering if they were to blame, or if they were blameless - either way, I needed more. Anyway, again, I hope you'll continue to share your thoughts and experiences! xoxo Chrissy
    1 point
  18. Hiya Michele. One of My Own Friend's was born inter-sexed. She was brought up as a Male, but, in Adult-hood, has had Surgery, and Lives as She always wanted, and that is as a Female. She was lucky, she was able to choose Her Own Gender. My Friend Is Very Attractive. I meet up with My Friend, and Her Boyfriend, regularly. Michele, You are also Very Beautiful, and Very Pretty. Michele, You are You, and You Deserve to be Happy. Take Good Care of Yourself, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxx
    1 point
  19. I see I haven't updated since April 28, so I'm behind on a few items :-) My job - where I've worked for 10+ years now - recently announced employee buy-outs b/c they need to cut the budget. Since I was already planning on going back to school, I took the buy-out and will now go back full-time (to NYU for a Masters in Social Work). Now I'm just here at work riding out my time until probably June 30 - it's SOOOO boring!!! On other fronts - next Monday I have a consult with a bottom surgeon in the Philadelphia area - very excited about that! And in mid-July I have another appt with the top surgeon in Albany - to finalize details, etc. That surgery is scheduled for August 19 - one of my friends who is a student, and thus free during the summer, is going with me (you have to have someone with you).
    1 point
  20. Yesterday I am walking up to my work area, a woman stops me and ask if she didn’t mind me asking a personal question. Since I have only seen her (there are over 1,000 employees) and not worked with her I figured it’s one of the following stock questions, where did you purchase your shoes or something along the line of transitioning. My perspective was if it’s about my transition (which nobody has mentioned in over eight months) it’s fine as she seems like a good person. After saying yes to her question said I looked familiar but was unsure from where. Then she says, were you once male? I said yes. She then asked if she could hug me and I said yes and she did. Then she says I looked gorgeous which I thanked her for the compliment. She did say if I had said I was always female her next question would had been, do you have a brother or other family member working here as she was not certain on if I was once male. We chit-chatted for a few minutes but the subject of transitioning has passed and onto weather and the little things in life. Next up, I have joined another transgender site, Susan’s Place several months ago and this week was asked to become part of their staff which I accepted. It’s not that Susan’s Place is better than this site (TGuide) but felt the need to move on from here, at least for a while. Just keep in mind that this site (TGuide) is like no other trans site on the web and you should be proud to be here. What I have seen during my time here is a tight nit family of likeminded people who support each other and my wish is for that to keep going. In closing, I hope everyone here is moving forward on their journey and enjoying life. I know not everyone can say they are progressing and for those my wish for those who are not find some peace in their daily life.
    1 point
  21. Hiya Chrissy. It Is so Good to hear from You. Well You have got a lot to look forward to. Good Luck for Your Appointment on Monday, about Your Bottom- Surgery, and Good Luck for Your Appointment in Mid-July, about Your Top -Surgery. The fact that You are having Your Top-Surgery on 19th. August, Must be Very Exciting. Seeing out time in a job, I Know is Very Boring. Good Luck for the NYU. Chrissy, You Should Be Very Proud of How Well, You Have Already Done, and How Far You Have Already Come. Look Back, at where You were, when You started that job, to where You are Now ! Chrissy, Well Done Honey. Stay In Touch with Us, and Let Us All Know, How thing's go. Speak Soon, Take Care, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxx
    1 point
  22. *Hugs for Steph* I know, it's just easier said than done sometimes. Especially as my family went from huge to really small as time takes it's price and there are less and less around. I am healthier about this crazy weirdness between him and I than I've ever been, and progress continues, just sometimes...I don't know what to do with it all. I'm sort of surprised, so far silence from the other camp since I wrote the essay on it and posted it where it was visible. It wasn't directed at them purely, it was a I'm tired of all these people trying to defend their crappy actions blaming them on the spouses rather than their own internal lack of integrity. And looking to me to validate it. Yeah, I was raised that way, but as an adult I see that it was wrong. Meh.
    1 point
  23. Hiya Briannah, and Emma. I agree with Both ofYou Ladies. It Is Never right to cheat. I have Never, Ever, Cheated; on any Relationship. However, My Wife has been cheating on Me, for over 21 Month's, with Other Men, and Other Women. She Is Bisexual; but only " Came-Out " to Me about it in the last 5 Year's; long after We first got together - which is over 20 Year's; and long after We got Married - which is a few week's short of 18 Year's. Yet, when I first " Came-Out " as Transsexual; to Her, on 30th. April, 2015; then I started buying Female-Clothing; Undies; Nightwear; Shoes; etc., and Wearing them; and Fully; Full-Time; Female-Living; on 1st. May, 2015; She said that I should have told Her, before We got Married. Although She says that She did Not need to tell Me, before We got Married. Our Physical Relationship, has been over, for 14 Month's anyway. However, She has been metering-out Domestic Violence to Me, for Well Over 8 Year's, and I have got the Physical Scar's to Prove it. She and Our Middle-Son; were " Trapping " Me, between the Front-Door; and the Front-Door-Frame; 22 1/2 Day's ago. A Neighbour Phoned the Police. This is the 4 th. time, in a very few Month's, that Neighbour's have called the Police, because, I have been getting Gender-Domestic-Abuse; from Her, against Me. I Am now Officially Registered; with Our Local Women's Aid Charity, as a Domestic-Violence Victim ! ( I Am only under the Same-Roof, because We have got 3 Special-Need's-Children ! But, I now want out of here, which I Am now trying to organise. Briannah, You My Darling Friend, should think of the 3 Most-Importamt People - Yourself; Nikki; and Your Son. Forget Your Cheating Father. He was only ever interested in Himself, and Not You. Briannah, Speak Soon, Take Care, And My Very Best Wishes; to You - Bree; and to Nikki; and to Your Son; Love Stephanie. xxxx Emma, Speak Soon, Take Care, And My Very Best Wishes; to You - Emma, and to Your Wife; Love Stephanie. xxxx
    1 point
  24. Yeah. There's just this stupidly complicated dynamic between me and him, and I'm trying to figure out how to change it without destroying the dwindling amount of family I have left. I don't know that it's possible. It feels more and more like it's eat the poison pudding or lose everything. But if I have to choose, no more poison pudding. I'd rather have just Nikki and my son than keep eating that pudding. My dad has a real feeling that consequences are for everyone, until it means him. *Headdesk* I don't know that this can be navigated in a positive way without me being willing to let him continue like that.
    1 point
  25. "... it's never okay to cheat..." 100% agree. Never cheating has always been a mainstay with my wife and me, and I've assured her (truthfully) that I never have, either with her, my ex-wife, or long ago girlfriends. We need to reassure each other on things like this because of our histories. What your father did was inexcusable. I wonder where he got the idea that his behavior was okay? Maybe from others in his family or friends/associates. I feel fortunate that I didn't have such role models for that, or misogyny, or violence. Lots of other crap to be sure but none of those. I think it's terrific you're doing what you need to do. It's your father's responsibility to take ownership of his actions, or not. You can't control him. But it's perfectly okay to put him on notice. Hugs, Emma
    1 point
  26. Obtaining a female voice for the male embodied female is that thing to which can’t be surgically remedied with a 100 percent success and is the holy grail for many. So what are common methods? Mimic the cisgender voice on their own, purchase some type of series of lessons, enlist the aid of a voice therapist or go out on a limb for questionable voice surgery which statistically speaking can do more harm than good. Many factors play into how one goes about obtaining that female voice which range from being in the closet, monetary funds to available resources. Kind of hard practicing the voice with others in the house and you are in the closet or money is tight, hard to overcome these things and can be frustrating when funds and a place to practice are available but no therapist or one is shy to make appointments in fear of what they might think of you. No matter which avenue is chosen the ultimate test is picking up the telephone, talk to a stranger and have the responses coming back with female pronouns. It’s relatively easy to learn to speak female for a short time e.g. one or two minute conversations but eventually for many the vocal chords want to relax, go to a comfortable place (heaven forbid), the deep male voice rather than the soft/higher voice we aspire too. Things that can help, learn to breathe from the abdomen rather than the upper chest, placing your finger on your Adam’s apple, when at the right place the Adam’s apple rises and stays there. Try laying on the floor, this makes it more difficult to use the upper chest for breathing. Place a book on the abdomen and feel it working and if not then work on that aspect alone followed by going back to speaking at the right pitch and resonance. After getting good with one or two minute shots of female voice try these things. Speak the following and maintaining the female voice (note between each word pause a second). One, two Now do One, two, three, Then One, Two, three, four etc. Got that! Now do One, two, three, “Every dog has its day” Practice that until you are satisfied and now put together several quotes like this and pick a random one, no peeking. After speaking the words finish with describing the quote. The idea here is the first part the brain is comfortable with while explaining the quote is spontaneous and now you have to work harder at maintaining the female voice. Can’t do this at home? Why not do it when driving to work or taking a walk? When I took voice lessons I was given 30 quotes, some did more than the above as they would challenge more aspects of getting the female voice done properly. It’s important to keep in mind that the older you are the more chances there are for one to slip back into that deep voice rather than the soft voice. Lastly, set a reasonable standard for your female voice rather than go for something that is unobtainable as this will help you to get a passable voice. These are just a few suggestions that may or may not work for you but if not considered or tried one will never know. Closing out with a short story. I belong to a local transgender group on Facebook, was invited to meet ten or so at a local club. I walked in 30 minutes early, was approached by a female (lesbian) who sat down at my table and started talking to me. Several minutes into talking she asked, are you here alone? I said no, I am waiting for a group of transgender people and they are all dressing in prom dresses (I did not). She then said "is that them" pointing to the entrance. I said yes, recognized them from FB pictures. I waved and said "Hi", several stared at me from where they were standing then decided to come over. When they did I said I was part of their group. One (I think she is the leader) said :"I was not sure who you were... all I saw were to cisgender females" About thirty minutes or so into talking with them several complimented me on my looks (and most important) my voice which in this case I know they would never had said it if they did not mean it. It took me a while to obtain that voice and so happy for having taking lessons by a professional therapist who's main task in the beginning was to cultivate what I had obtained on my own.
    1 point
  27. Hiya Karen. It Is so Good to see You here. How Are You Young Lady ? Okay, I Hope ! Karen, firstly, Congratulations on Your Voice. Secondly, Your Looks ! Karen Payne, You are one of the Most Beautiful and Pretty Young Ladies. You are Stunning, and Gorgeous ! Karen, Anyone meeting You, especially for the first time, ARE going to look at You, as if You are a Natural-Born-Female. Karen, I have been Female-Living for just over a Year now, and a lot of My Female Friend's, have told Me, that I can now " Pass " well. But, I Am nowhere near as Lovely as You are Honey. Karen, As for Your advice on Voice-Training, I Am getting Fairly Good, especially when out in Public, but, back with My Children, and Er-Indoors, Well !! I Can tell You sometime else about that ! As for You, meeting-up with Your Friend's, who thought that You are a Cis-gender Female, It just goes to Prove, what a Pretty and Beautiful Young Lady You Are ! I have seen so many of Your Photograph's on TGGuide, that back-up that remark as well. By the way, How is Your " Sister ", who We have seen You with ? I hope She is Okay too ! Are You still going out on Your car journey's on Saturday's ? Karen, Speak Soon, Take Care, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxx
    1 point
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