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I know I'm lucky to live in Manchester. This city has a big LGBT+ contingent and a lively LGBT+ scene and a city council that supports its LGBT+ people. We even have our first out gay Lord Mayor now. He was at Sparkle last weekend. Sparkle styles itself as the "National Transgender Celebration" here in the UK. http://www.sparkle.org.uk/ It's also a trans* charity. I don't know whether Sparkle weekend really is the biggest trans* get-together in the UK, or whether trans* people really do descend on Manchester from all over the country, but I was there last weekend, with my husband. And there were an awful lot of other people there. Definitely several thousand people. The only disappointing part was that it had rained throughout the Friday night and for a good few hours Saturday morning, before Sparkle was due to kick off on the Saturday. When we got there, the rain had stopped, but the gardens where the main Sparkle event was scheduled to take place were awash with mud due to all the rain. It was a mudbath. The organisers had sprinkled some sawdust around the place to try to lessen the mud, but it didn't really work. And so everyone got messy. I felt sorry for all the ladies in their high heels but there wasn't a lot they could do about it. But it was great to see so many trans* people in one place. We wandered around the gardens, checking out the various stands, and then we decided to head back to Canal Street for a drink. We ducked into View for a quick one, but it was pretty quiet in there so we only had the one drink and then headed for our favourite bar, Bandit. It's actually called Bandit, Mugger & Thief, which is a tad too long for a bar name, in my opinion, but it's a great place. It used to be named Taurus, which I think is an eminently more sensible name for a bar, but whatever. Taurus/Bandit is a great place to hang out on Canal Street. The people who work there are friendly and the bar is comfortable and usually pretty busy but not too full that you can't get a seat. We discovered a beer called Barista stout. I'd never had it before, although I will be having it again. I like stout and porter - dark beers are my favourite and I usually drink Guinness. But this Barista stout... the first mouthful tastes like vanilla ice cream and then it starts to taste like coffee and chocolate - like a mocha milkshake. Oh my goodness, it is gorgeous! So we had more than one. While we were sitting there enjoying our drinks and chatting about stuff, my husband said, "That woman behind you has been standing on her own for ages. Do you think she's waiting for someone?" I turned to look and realised I had seen her earlier, standing there, and she had been alone for a while. So I hopped off my chair and moved to say hello and invite her to sit with us, while she waited for whoever she was waiting for, because it was fairly obvious that was what she was doing. And that was how I met my newest acquaintance - or friend - Emma. Emma joined us at our table and we all chatted about whatever came into our heads. Inevitably, I suppose, some of the conversation focused on transitioning and our different journeys. By the time her friend arrived - it could have been an hour or two later; I have no idea how much time had passed - we had exchanged phone numbers and agreed to keep in touch. I'm hoping that we do keep in touch. I hope I don't have to wait a whole year - for next year's Sparkle celebrations - to meet up with her.

Hi there all I know that I am attempting to be online at the very least once a week. This Sunday I have the sensation that I need to talk about the past week. Yes, I know I ventured into it. But the avenues that I haven't entered were a few more than the pooptis I was talking about earlier. But as a recourse I think I need to vocalize and read what I know and what I can do. First thing first. I was told by my overall commander that I must drag him to court, and this time not just demand that he leave the police, but go after his pension. Of which I'm not comfortable to do. But she called him in and informed him what the law states including what legal services stated. She became the protective mother and informing him that she would work him out of the police before he can end his next 2 years before going on pension. Court cases are a drag... A real drag. Legally the police needs to implement what the constitution states. And only looking at one of the South African Constitutional Acts - Act 18. Where it already states that no discrimination is allowed. No matter if it is sexuality, gender or a combination of the 2. No employer or supervisor has the right to discriminate against you because of this. You have your freedom of expression, identification and this makes for independently individual persons. Yes I also know, that it doesn't just take for acts in the Constitution or other law books for something to be implemented, but it is a start and it tells you the grounds you have to stand on. This week, I'll make an appointment with the EHW (psychological or interpersonal assistance group in the police), and legal services. Just to see if they would want to take up where I in this instance don't want to. And in return if they do the fight, I'll just do the talks and see if I get pulled in for the assistance that other LGBTIQA, yes and others. Well, I like that the description for persons have grown, but I'm beginning to become confused here in the sequence. Okay, I also know that in the sequence once you associate with a group that one automatically moves to the front for you, but when you type it out, you always start with the sexual orientation. Yes, I fall under the gender descriptive. I think I just need to internalize this to see if I have fight left for this man or if I don't. I definitely have fight left. I just fear that this will destroy a career of almost 30 years and put me in the limelight of fighting superiors. I don't have a problem being in that spotlight, but if it is for fighter of equality. Then yes, that is all I want, everyone to be equal. But how will this effect my career. Will it fast track, normal pace (this is already a slow track for today's terms), or get slow tracked because I have targeted seniors that are discriminatory. Yes, I am looking at the recourse's that others will have against me because I am attacking their friend for equality. Not only does me fighting back place my career in a snare that could catapult me on anything from a fast track to non existent career enhancement track. But it could also effect my friends and person's of interest (family) or lover. Now can I do this to people I care about or does 2 years of an idiot sound like a walk in the park. I just don't want to end up in hospital for mentally breaking down. I know, nobody is strong enough to cope with life's dealing, and everyone needs that energy boost to continue. So now I'm thinking. Will this be what they can handle. Because if they are going to be in sight of the attacks, I most definitely will start fighting with other rules a lady doesn't look at. I'll still keep within the framework of the law, but I will be hitting below the belt till it bleeds and I am certain I made his favorite friend infertile, and hopefully also effected the capabilities of hoisting a pole because I was the storm that smashed it into pieces. So my thinking cap is on and I know I can't let him do this to me. So, clean fight, till he fights dirty and then I go legal dirty like rolling in the mud, not hiding razors in the mud. So as I'm saying goodbye, it feels to me that I am going to take on this fight with a degree of hesitation. I'm not the bitch they making me out to be, I'm not the bitch. But I can become the bitch in the fight when required. This thinking is exhausting me mentally as I need to think of the approach and which line of defense I am taking, then which alternatives are in play to counter any attacks he might throw my way. Hugs, Kisses, and cheers Michele Ps. Any view point other then mine would be appreciated. Pss. I also know, if I don't fight back, then someone with no ability to fight back might be caught in the firing line and I will in the end have to come to that persons rescue, so why not just jump in already and stop it before it can continue. Michele out. Psss. Checking my tablet out, that was keeping online. This laptop scenario isn't what I had in mind.

Hi Michele, It seems to me that it's as if you're the like a rape victim, almost made to feel guilty for going after the rapist when after all you were doing nothing wrong. He did, you didn't. It's as simple as that. And fortunately your South African laws and your commander are supporting you. I agree that it's sad that this man may lose his pension. I'm sorry for him. But I'm not in the least condoning his behavior. That is inexcusable. He made his bed and now he gets to lie in it. But I also understand that all of this puts you into a horrible position. I'm sure your molester (which he is, after all) has friends and supporters who will automatically throw their support his way and perhaps snub you. And in your career that is especially scary let alone potentially career-limiting. I wonder if there is an alternative you can talk to your commander about. Do the have an ombudsman or third-party negotiator who could try to strike some balance? Maybe as you said they have no choice but to prosecute him in court. I find that surprising but maybe it is what it is. Then again, maybe your commander has his own agenda and wants to throw this guy under the bus. Anyway, I'd suggest exploring any alternatives to court. Then again, if it does go to court do they allow you to sue for damages? Perhaps like here in California once the crime has been adjudicated (and he is found guilty) in a court we can then sue in "civil court" for damages. Because I think you would have a case of need to be compensated for your own emotional distress as well as the very real chance that you will need to find an alternate career for your safety as well as long term satisfaction. You're young and it's so unfair that he put this into your life. I'm afraid I gave you more questions than anything else but I hope it helps you. Emma

Hiya Beautiful; Pretty Michele. Thank You for You Message Young Lady. ( I Am Glad that You liked the comment :- " So-and-So " !! I thought I would Keep Our Conversation's on TGGuide ",Clean " !! L.O.L. !! I have Got a Real Bucket-Mouth, But, I Can Also Be Cleanly Spoken ! Michele, that So-Called " Boss ", He Should Be " Demoted " I Am an Ex-Union Shop-Steward; and therefore, I Do NOT take Any rot, and I Do NOT Enjoy seeing My Friend's, like Yourself, taking any Rot. Michele Darling Girl, Hit that Cretin, Right Where It Hurts Him the most - In His Wallet. I suggest that You ask the Female Boss, to have Him demoted. Here's a nice job for Him, Make Him sweep the Main Road's, during the Peak Time's, in the Wrong Direction, with a worn-out Toothbrush. When He does Not do the job Properly, make Him repeat it, until He gets Fed-Up, and Leaves !! I Am a Devious Bitch, aren't I ? Michele You Gorgeous Young Lady, Do NOT take any Rot. You Darling Girl are Far Better Than That. Sweetheart, You Know that I Am here for You. Look After Yourself, Take Care, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxx

Hi Steph and V I liked the so and so, actually know what that means, so enjoyed someone with a sense of humor like mine. Can't I rather have petrol bomb control, it's the easiest bombs to make. I also don't know why people are so scared of a petrol bomb that isn't ignited. Fear I don't have for this guy, neither respect anymore. He stepped onto grounds to disrespect what he refuses to understand, and if had any inclination of actually wanting to learn, he would have asked in the right way. But that is also why I didn't tell my support head commander, because I knew she would attack like a mother with her child being attacked, and then someone told her. Ooooooh crap, Monday I will hear something that I don't want to hear. But I'm positive and if he pushes, I know how to withstand the push and make him fall on his own. Love, hugs, kisses Michele

Hi Jay, I identify with your experiences but it took a little longer for me. Only a few weeks though. I was also surprised how quickly my breasts responded but three months on now and they seem to have settled down to a more steady growth. I think from what I can feel the internal structure started as a small knot under each nipple and is now becoming flatter and wider like a small upside down saucer. I am also much more relaxed. My dysphoria was really driving me at first but now it feels like it has been released, like a spring that was under tension. I also feel hungry, especially in the evening. It's really hard but try and stay in control. Personally I feel so free and good about me. Love and best wishes. Chantel

I am so sorry that happened and know how brave you are to discuss it. I am not as strong as you. If you want to talk I would be honored. I am Ace, an FTM from Rochester, NY> Ace

Hiya Michele. Firstly My Darling Girl, You are no Pest !! You have Every Right to Your Personal, and Confidential Information being just that. Michele, You hit Him where it hurts - in His Wallet !! I Am Not going to Use Profane, or Insulting Language to describe Him. This Is out of sheer Love and Respect for You, and All Our Friend's on TGGuide. ( I Will Not lower Myself to His Gutter Standard's !! ). Michele, Don't let the So-and-So get You down. He Is an ignorant Good-for-Nothing. Michele, You on the other hand, are a Very Wonderful, and Very Decent Young Lady. Michele, wallop Him in the wallet, and You have the Last LaughLaugh !! Michele, Speak Soon Honey, Take Care, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxx

Dear Ace, Think that everyone is looking to the Internet to make friends, and then following up with face to face friends. Have friends in many different states (Internet, snail mail and telephone friends). Actually have one face to face friend who I met on an Internet dating service. Another friend I knew face to face in Brooklyn for ten years is now a weekly telephone friend since I moved to upstate New York from Brooklyn. Today demands people to be more flexible in making and keeping friends. Just be aware that someone can be very different on the Internet versus telephone versus face to face. They may not be trying to deceive you, it is just that each technology brings out different aspects of a person. For example, I tend to be much more formal when I send a snail mail letter than when I am on the telephone or in person. Please be aware that chemistry can NOT be judged on the Internet, Skype, snail mail, and most ALWAYS be evaluated face to face, and CAN'T be rushed. May I also suggest www.meetups.com, which are based more on common interests rather than gender or sexual orientation, although there ARE transgender and sexual orientation groups. Yours truly, Monica

Heya Jay Hope that your headaches are getting better and it's good having a few guys between the gals. Well, I know I'm not your typical lady's but I see me getting a few petrol heads, and weapons friends. Enjoy the changes. Mentally then physically. Enjoy the colder seasons, as I also love them more. All the best Michele

Dear Ace, Here at TGGuide you will make lots of friends. Also, when you attend Gender Conferences, you may meet many of the friends you made at TGGuide. Am assuming you live near Rochester Polytechnic Institute and other colleges. Many of them have LGBT organizations, and they are open to non-students. You may want to Google "LGBT Centers in Rochester, NY," as well as "Gender Conferences 2016," some of which may be relatively near you. You should be no more than a couple of hours drive from a transgender support group. Take your time as TGGuide is very information rich, and I would start at reading the Forums and Blogs. Glad to see you are writing your own blog. Find it very therapeutic writing my own, and I enjoy reading readers' responses. Remember, TGGuide is a very emotionally safe place! Yours truly, Monica