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It sounds to me that you're in a healthy place for now. That is probably good as you sort out who you really are. There may come a time when you're ready to open yourself up to someone else but no need to rush that. Haha, I can relate to the long, strange trip. It sure has been here too. As mentioned, I feel things here and there. My eyesight is getting gradually worse and my hearing isn't what it once was. All in all, life is pretty good though. Best to you in the new year.

Yes, congratulations! I stopped wearing breast forms too for a couple of reasons. The first is that although at size C they are consistent with my body size they are likely much larger than what I'll grow naturally. If I grow to B's I'll be delighted. The other more pressing reason is that my breasts are very sensitive and sore at times; having those heavy breast forms on top of them was quite uncomfortable. So now I'm wearing padded B bras with a cloth-covered insert so they hold their shape. All in all much more comfortable. I have my next appt with my doctor in three weeks and based on my recent estradiol level blood test it's a safe bet she'll be increasing my estradiol dose. Yay! We'll then see if that gives them a kick-start into a higher gear!

I am late in commenting, but I feel for you, Emma. Life is a roller-coaster, isn't it? Another Grateful Dead lyric: Sometimes the light's all shining on me, and sometimes I can barely see. You know it will get better. Keep on pushing. Big hug in the meanwhile.

Thanks as always for your comments. You are all special to me.

I hear you on the changes! I'm going to turn 46 soon, but am starting to notice more and more things, one of them also being eyesight. I really need to make an optometry appointment once I get things settled down (In the middle of a complicated life trajectory change my spouse sprung on me, Nikki likes suprises. LOL). I'm very sorry about your loss, and happy to see you are embracing your new life changes and making them work for you!

i like the way you think, you have remarkable clarity. I had a lot of major changes last year too. I feel okay now but sometimes I wonder how it will be. The last couple of weeks were pretty rough. “What will be will be, the future’s not ours to see.”

Dear Emma and Friends, We ALL have "down times" and feel the "blues." Sometimes we don't always know why. When I feel blue, I go to a comedy club (I sit in the back because I don't want to be part of the show when I am blue) and it really helps me. Just a suggestion. Thank you for being there for all of us! Your friend, Monica