Dear Karen, When someone is loud and unkempt, trans or cisgender, male or female, Straight or Gay, this could mean low self-esteem, under the influence, or mental illness, especially if you recall them in times past as "well put together." You are wise to back off graciously in public, as this person could create an unpleasant scene. The time to give such a person support is in private, but I would not go into their home or invite them into yours. Your personal safety is paramount. This really brings home the point that a person can change dramatically, even in a short period of time. Your friend, Monica