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I remember hearing that Nordstrom is trans-friendly and offered free bra fittings. But also, back then, I was terrified at the thought. I knew it might happen some day but when that day came I'd know that I'd have to have really come into my own in a much more secure way. I've only purchased my bras on Amazon. They fit okay, and weren't that expensive. I measured myself with a band size of 38 and as my mother's was 34 I thought I was in the right ballpark. The first cup size was C because that's the size I felt was more ideal for my body size and here again, it was the same as my mom's. Later, I decided to go for size B since it may be that that's the best I'll be able to naturally grow into at my age. About a week ago I decided that I was sick and tired of one bra strap constantly falling down my arm, the band binding around my chest, and decided that it was time to go to Nordie's. I called and made an appointment. All went fine and easy. Yesterday (Valentine's Day) I met with a 20-something woman in the lingerie department. I wasn't particularly nervous, mostly just excited. We went into a private changing room, she asked me what I was looking for. I wanted to buy three bras that fit: black, beige, and white. I took off my top and she measured my band size at 36. Wow! She then brought in several different ones, helped me with them. She didn't rush me at all, and had zero problem with my questions or not liking some of them. I eventually bought five: beige, white, light pink, and violet, and a black exercise bra. Oh, and a very pretty summer-weight robe, chemise, and pajama pants: gotta be ready for Spring, right? Amazing it was such a small bag for $500. But, you know, I'm very happy knowing that now I am wearing a pretty bra that fits, just for me. I don't know how much more Nordstrom shopping I can afford; Nordstrom Rack is more like it. But now I know what size to look for! Happy Valentines!

Reminds me when I stopped by one of those "free makeovers" at a Clinique booth in Macy's. $650 later I walked out with all sorts of moisturizers and toners and makeup. I never used most of it, to be honest, but it felt great to have that makeover and I left with a better idea of what works best for me. I eventually opted for lower priced makeup options.

Dear Emma, Every woman should be professionally fitted for a bra every six months. Make sure you bend over and DROP your breasts into the cups every time you put on your bra. By the way, it is best to wash your bras and other "delicates," that you mentioned here BY HAND and in gentle liquid soap made for this purpose, the brand which is the most common, called Woolite, in lukewarm water. Also my mother, may God rest her soul, stored her delicates in their own drawer in her dresser, separated by sheets of white tissue paper. Your friend, Monica

Mero, I agree completely with you. I have an acquaintance here locally who is also FTM, whose appearance is not so masculine, and he feels the same as you. I don’t know why some people try to pick themselves up by putting others down. This happens everywhere it seems, even in trans communities which is so hurtful, nasty, and counter to how I feel we all ought to be. As an MTF I wonder if in some ways it’s harder to be FTM especially if you are located in a more traditional male-dominated society. In places like that it’s hard for a man to be manly “enough”. Regardless, you’re a man no matter what you wear or enjoy doing. A rather strong man from what I can tell by your writing. Welcome to TG Guide. I hope to hear more from you.

One of the things that Ive had to face as a FTM is that apparently, if your not super manly or just masculine and into masculine things, that it makes you less of a transman or an attention-seeker. Me being the not so masculine trans guy, this just sucks. Even within our own trans community there are still people who try to invalidate other trans people, just so they themselves can feel more valid. Well truth is, that whether or not you wear makeup, wear dresses, and just all round appear more feminine, it doesn't have anything to do with your gender! Express yourself in anyway that makes you guys comfortable. Not every guy has to have facial hair and not every guy needs a super low voice either. I would know I had a cis friend who's voice LITERALLY made him sound like a girl. So you do you my fluffy people. I personally have been looked down upon just because I identify as male and use makeup, like what does that have to do with my gender??? I have no clue why people do this, it's like a race to see who's more valid than the next guy? Why can't we just accept that we are all valid and different in our own special way? That's just how the world works. Im sorry if my thoughts seem a bit incoherent, I'm not a very good writer. I just wanted to write some feelings and experiences down every once in a while.

Hey Lori, Yeah, I understand. The good news is that I have no doubts I’ll wear and enjoy everything! Emma

Dear Monica, Yes, I have Woolite for sure! My breasts are still pretty small. Growing and quite sensitive to bumping but no way do they fill my bra cups. I’m not sure what size they are. I guess the left is an A and the smaller right is an AA. I read that girls’ breasts take several years to develop and I’m trying to be patient. 😻😻😻

Dear Mero, Just as in the cisgender male community, there is a SPECTRUM of degrees of masculinity. Men and women, both trans and cisgender, should learn to celebrate diversity and respect one another. Unfortunately, it takes longer for some than others! 😉 Yours truly, Monica

Was your friend bothered by any of this?