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Hi Karen That's good to hear. The total opposite at the station I work, almost everyone knows, but won't dare to take me on, because they know my B complex is harsh. Where each time a new person came and I had to prove myself because of their misconception that I was gay (nothing wrong with that, but I'm female through and through and hetero by that). Now that they perceive me as female, they more protective of more overall, but to another degree feel scared I might vanquish them with my abilities, which if I let it shine through they say I'm an Asian chick with deadly moves. So currently looking at either applying to another post, as a promotion to another station and cluster. Or what we call a lateral or cross transfer, because closing in on my 13th year anniversary at this station seems ridiculous out of an almost 14 year service in the police. I sometimes miss being capable of blending into the background without a trace. Now, I'm still petite, but noticed where I move without any difficulty. Sp glad, you have found a workspace of peace. Hugs Michele

This twin of mine died so I could live and was last seen 2008/9. You decide, that look like me a decade younger or not. The first and last I'll ever compare tit with tat. Hugs Michele

I wasn't using bad as in the literal meaning bad. Was using it to show the contrast of what people think is bad and actually that their exterior can show off some kind of light that shines from the inside. External beauty is nothing, if the interior doesn't match that. Thanks. Michele Ps Steph, I legally also had my name spelling changed from mother's version of Michel Jerrard Heynes to more appropriately Michele Jerree Heynes, and I only use my names on legal documents, but my signature is so simple and messed up that you can't figure out what I scribbled. Yes, I kept my names or at least the meanings of my names, because they resonate with me. And because the ambiguous Michel left people calling me Michael or Mitchell most of the times when calling me, and so infuriating me and abusing my names pronunciation of Michelle, also felt the double L is way to commonly used and still wanted a dash of uniqueness or rarity with my name.

You look lovely Michele! All of us are our harshest critics. I hate mirrors because when I don't see myself I just look out into the world with my two eyes presenting myself just as I am and, I suppose, envisioning a more attractive me than what I see in the mirror.

Some people feel there is a new definition of friendship: persons can be friends even if they never met face-to-face or even spoke on the telephone, such as Internet "friendships." They argue the old definition of friendship, such as knowing each other's personal information (first and last names, home addresses and telephone numbers) and regularly entertaining each other in each other's homes), no longer holds true in today's day and age. In my opinion, I think some people are confusing a good acquaintance (knowing each other on a first name basis, meeting regularly at a mutually convenient spot or organization and enjoying some common interests) with a friend (the "old" definition of friend described above). Think there is confusion between "friend" and "acquaintance" because part of their definitions intersect. In my case, I break down "friends" into "close friend," "friend," and "casual friend." When it comes to an acquaintance, it is "good acquaintance," "acquaintance," and "casual acquaintance." Usually, a friendship starts as an acquaintance. When two people do not become friends, it could be because of a neutral reason, such as having nothing in common, a person having a problem (they may be ashamed about something about themselves they don't want the other person to know) or a person having a problem with the other person, such as the other person having a much lower income, I.Q., or social status, which is important to some people. There have been times in my life where I had many acquaintances/friends and other times, very few. Feel this had much to do with the culture of where I live rather than with me (or as some might say, my age). A friend recently commented to me that she had fewer friends the more successful she became in her career (it is lonely at the "top"). Would love to hear from other how their acquaintances and friends ebbed and flowed through their lives. Am grateful for your feedback.

Good day all I do miss those days when I could unassumingly just blend into an ocean of faces without even a second glans. What has changed???? Well that rock on top of me, it's not even a chip anymore. Yes had the burden of not being any person in particular, because showing my feelings or true self would end in my world imploding. Confidence. Well check the pics in my last few updates. The more relaxed, confident persona I exude now then back then. Well going from cute, to ooh mama your hot also helps. And the weight I've gained, positively radiant. Talking about the weight, for my 5'8 (1,74m) tall structure. Before and early transitioning, left me with this constant urge, to stay under 110Lbs (53kgs), as I couldn't come to believe that a bit more weight on me would look good. But it also helped me blend in more, with my unassumingly process of non-existence. Now at 135Lbs (62kgs), I feel so much better about myself, bit more roundings, and yes flaunting it all in your face attitude. Oooh dont get me on body fat, that was below 7% and now so close to 20% if not sort of over that. Well I miss blending in, but why would I want to hide my existence from anyone now. I am a strong woman, that doesn't find strength in others, but within myself. Positives are. I look good, and even if you dont want to say it, you know it. I'm confident to the level of making people around me comfortable allowing their trust to come out. I'm strong. And no physically I'm just capable of controlling a guy in a fight, not stronger then a man. But mentally I'm unbreakable. Unwavering in my beliefs. Proud of who and what I've become. How many people can say they in the career they dreamed of as a child. Loyal to my family and friends. Pretty hazelnut eyes. Perky tits, even if they only a 32A, they mine and fit me perfectly. And I don't care what anyone says. You want them bigger, pay for it and give yourself the boobjob. Struggling with normal human thing. Yes this is a positive, because if I thought that I'm to good for humanity (finances, day to day running), well you know what I mean. With this all, there are still days, I need to blend in with the crowd, albeit being I need to be between models to look like a normal blend of person. I do appreciate being called a flower between my male counterparts at work who are the thorns. Hugs Michele

Good evening all As the title says I'm confused... The confusion comes in when people try to assimilate being transgender or intersex into a WTF area and make those people feel like they nothing and don't deserve to breath the same air as them. Well, let me see. I'm intersex identifying as transgender, but more specifically identifying as female and always have. Trying to nullify my existence only gets the dragons fire breathe that much hotter, as I clearly look like a 10 (boasting some what cause I can in a transgender and cisgender world). Okay, I also understand the hatred I'm getting from the cisgender females. But, "Baby I'm sorry, I'm not sorry!!!" Yes, I got looks with a package of personality too, and I'm not a fake ass person. As the song also say, "If you talk that talk baby. Better walk that walk baby." I do it, not because I talk the talk, but I talk the talk because I walk the blooming walk. And I can't help that you trying to make me feel like I'm nothing. Cause I'll never be nothing. I'm proud, strong, sexy, vivacious, older then you think cause I look younger then your wannabe all I am in all my stunning personality, and not to mention unstoppable force of nature. The confusion is how people want to be you, but dont want to go through the struggles you faced, that made you the strong, independent woman you are. What they think that, perfection just happened by mistake, it took year to polish the attitude, well the looks were there I guess, just enhanced now. This is probably the only time I'll comment with a picture from my past. But these were taken a few hours ago. Well, the message that I'm trying to convey is... The only time people will notice you is, when you have the confidence to take life by the balls of the proverbial bull, because taking him on by the horns well girl, you know he going to fight you so much harder as he thinks you'll just go down easier, but grabbing his ball and twisting your vices grips that but harder each time he tries to squirm or fight you to attack you that much harder. Life will learn, no matter how petite its opponent is, don't underestimate the capabilities of them, because even the smallest person can have a big heart that will cause them to win where you thought it was impossible. Now ladies, lets take life by the bulls balls, and twist just that little bit harder each time life tries to sucker punch us to the ground, trying to make us uncertain about ourselves. We are only human and also need to be loved, respected, and adored by onlookers, just like anybody else. I hope, you all are well and will not let life knock you down for too long, as the fight for equality has only begun. Love, hugs and respect Michele

Well who thought that 38 could look this bad. I didn't, cause I know when I'm bad, I'm at my best. So who wants to disagree. And yes I've been absent for some time.

Hiya Michele. I agree with Monica. Your Beauty, and Your Warmth of Character, radiate from the Inside Out ! You at 38, ARE still Young ! You Only have one chance of Life. Take that chance, and enjoy it Young Lady ! I will explain on Messenger, the Reason's behind My Full Name ! Sweetheart, the way that You spell Your Name's, are Special, and Unique, and Individual to You. Enjoy Your Individuality, because You ARE A Lovely Girl !! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Michele, Your beauty shines from the inside out! Yours, Monica

Four years ago, my company decided to implement a canned solution for the business which meant after the four-year process those (like me) developers that were not part of the migration from old systems to new systems would be placed into a very different position with the same pay, extremely easy work. Sounds great unless you’re like me, not into easy work. So I emailed the CIO of a sister company asking if they had any positions open? Side note, she knew me as a male when she worked in my company. Also, I was loaned out to this company two years ago for two months. Was told there were no positions open but then was asked to meet her (this by the way was in the beginning of December 2017) and the IT manager two weeks later. Talked for an hour with no openings. On the weekend prior to New Year’s my manager calls me into her office, said that I was asked to do a six-month rotation at the other company and was informed the next day would be my first day. Well I’ve been there ever since and they did find a position for me but will not be open until June 2018 and will start the hire process two weeks before my rotation is up. Now the important part, since I’ve been here nobody knows of my past except for the CIO and one other manager. I simply blend in, nobody has a clue of my former identity. Now the key for those still on the path to transitioning is your overall presentation both physically as in appearance and of course voice and mentally which means you believe you are female and have worked on all aspects of being female no matter if you are below average, average or better than average matched to a cisgender female your personality will shine through as female.

You look terrific now! Then? You look like you have a little chip on your shoulder, a bit of swagger perhaps covering up for your deeper self. It’s also interesting how your earlier photo is in monochrome and current one is in color. Very apt! I wonder why cis women are threatened or unhappy with you. Maybe they’re just unfamiliar with trans people and need time and experience to warm up? I know that some women feel so downtrodden by men that they might think that a trans woman is a bit privileged to have it both ways as male and female. I know that’s nuts but maybe? I hope you’re well and safe. I could never do your work and I appreciate those who do. Hugs, Emma

Coming out is hard, but then I never hid my plans of transitioning to anyone. Met a friend after being absent from each others lives for basically a decade. When she saw me she said, "You finally did what you told us as a teenager when I met you, good on you for grabbing life by the balls. It must've been difficult seeing that you in the police and the environment isn't the safest to do so." We started chatting again, and the decade of absence in our 24 years of knowing each other hasn't changed. I found one of my rocks returning and supporting me all over again. Just as she got the support from a friend she needed. If the people in your life views you as important to them, they will support your decision full heartedly, and actually ask you why you never started earlier or had the courage to ask them for help when you were at your most confused and vulnerable. Be strong, my mom, one brother and sister still can't manage to get the pronouns right, but I know if push comes to shove, they'll be in my corner. Even if I sometimes have to emotionally blackmail them. Hugs Michele

Hiya Michele. All that I CAN say about Your Photograph, IS Wow ! Wow! Wow ! You look Absolutely Stunning Sweetheart ! Also, what a Pretty Dress Babes ! You Definitely do NOT look BAD. You look Wonderful Young Lady. If You go onto My Facebook Page, of Stephanie Maycock, You will find a good number of Photograph's of Me. The one's with My Hair nice and long, are the Most Recent. Most of them, have been Taken at Pink Punters ( Lesbian; Gay; Bi--Sexual; Transgender;) Nightclub !! They were taken by the Official club Photographer's !! Michele, You ARE a Gorgeous Girl. Now stop selling Yourself short !! Keep Smiling, because You have got a Very Sweet Smile !! Take Care Honey, Love and Very Best Wishes Babes, Stephanie. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Coming out is so scary, I feel for you. At least some of others reactions are due to unfamiliarity with how one determines that they are trans, what it means for your future and, indeed, how your coming out might affect them and their relationships. I suggest a couple of things: - Be aware that you’ve had your feelings about your birth gender for a very long time. Even if you didn’t even have a concept of being transgender, you have learned a lot. For your family and friends this is all new. It’s best if you’re patient and calm with them. They are transitioning too. - Prepare your own Frequently Asked Questions and answers. Thinking about this and writing it all down helps prepare you to provide better answers with the defensiveness that can arise when we feel pressure. Idea: post you FAQ here in your blog! - Create a short list of videos and perhaps websites or readings that some may appreciate so they can learn on their own. Some may be fascinated and want to know lots more! Others may be skeptical... Best wishes! Emma